Chapter 8
Trix
“The new Transformers,” I called with a flourish as six teenagers and pre-teens fought for the best spots to sit in my tiny living room. “Has anyone seen it yet?”
“I saw it in the theater,” Leo said nonchalantly as he sat down on the couch.
“Yeah, with Beth Miller,” Thomas said, chuckling. “Bet you didn’t see much of it.”
My eyes widened as Cecilia, who was getting ready to drop down beside Leo, abruptly moved to the floor next to her sister.
“Shut the fuck up, Tommy,” Leo hissed as Tommy dropped down in the spot Cecilia gave up. He glanced quickly over at CeeCee, whose jaw was tight as she acted like she wasn’t listening to their conversation.
“Jesus,” Cam mumbled, meeting my eyes.
“So, no one then,” I said uncomfortably. Shit, I did not want to know anything about my baby brother and his conquests.
It was times like those, when I knew that Leo was doing shit with girls, or getting drunk, or making decisions about the club, that I wished my twin brother had lived. We’d been born early, and though I’d survived with no problems as I’d grown, Draco hadn’t been strong enough. Even though I didn’t remember him, obviously, sometimes I got this weird ache in my chest, like a part of me was missing. I thought that was probably the universe’s way of reminding me that at one point, I’d been half of a whole. And the other half? Well, he’d protected me, even in the womb, because when we were born, I was significantly larger than he was.
Draco would know how to talk to Leo. He’d know the right things to say and Leo would listen to him, because Draco was a brother and I was a sister and those two roles were very different.
“Bea?” Cam called softly, catching my attention. “You okay?”
I plastered a smile on my face and nodded, turning to put the disc into my Xbox. As soon as it was all set up, I stepped over the two little giggling girls and swept my hand down the back of Cecilia’s head as I passed her before coming to an abrupt stop.
There wasn’t anywhere for me to sit. The little assholes had taken up every available seat and every inch of the floor in my living room.
Cam chuckled at my disgruntled expression. “Come here, Bea.”
He pulled me into his lap sideways and reached out to shove at Tommy’s shoulder until the poor kid was practically sitting in Leo’s lap.
“Hey!” Tommy grunted.
“Scoot over or sit on the floor,” Cam replied gruffly, shutting him up.
“Be nice,” I whispered, leaning into Cam as the movie previews lit up my TV.
“That was nice. If I wasn’t bein’ nice, I woulda kicked ’em all out hours ago,” he whispered against my neck, making me chuckle. “You’re good with them.”
“They’re easy. Give the boys soda and the girls nail polish. Boom. Everybody’s happy.”
“More than that, Sweetbea,” he argued dropping his arm from the back of the couch to rest his hand on my belly. “You’re gonna be a good mom.”
My heart thudded in my chest.
“Why do you call me that?” I asked quietly, changing the subject.
“What? Sweetbea?”
“Yeah, or Bea.”
Cam was silent for a long time, long enough for the movie to start and for Rose and Lily to pass out awkwardly, like little drunken sailors.
“My brother couldn’t say your name right,” he suddenly stated, not looking at me. “Called ya Bayatrix. Wouldn’t shorten it, either. Guess it came from that—called ya Bay, then at some point it turned into Bea.”
“Oh,” I breathed, staring at his emotionless face. “I didn’t remember that.”
“Didn’t think you would, baby,” he said, giving me a small smile before kissing my forehead. “Watch the movie, yeah?”
“Kiss me first,” I whispered.
His smile grew. “That’s my line,” he whispered back, right before his lips met mine in a soft kiss.
I woke up a couple hours later as Cam laid me gently down on the couch. The TV was turned off and the apartment was silent as I watched Cam gently pick sleeping Cecilia up like a baby, carrying her into the spare room. Leo and Mick followed him silently, carrying Lily and Rose. Unsurprisingly, Tommy was asleep on the floor. He was almost always the first of the older kids to pass out.
I waited for Cam to come get me, and I kissed his neck softly as he carried me into our room, refusing to acknowledge his need to take care of me or my desire to let him.
* * *
“Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!” Leo yelled through my bedroom door the next morning, making me groan.
“Go away,” I called back, glancing at my alarm clock. Seven a.m.
“We’re hungry!” Leo called back, knocking a rhythm on my closed door.
“You don’t stop knocking, you’re gonna be eating through a fuckin’ straw,” Cam growled, rolling over to wrap an arm around my waist.
The knocking stopped abruptly and I relaxed back into the bed. I really didn’t want to get up so early on a Saturday, but after a few minutes of listening to voices in my living room, I groggily sat up in bed.
“Where you goin’?” Cam asked quietly, his arm slipping down my waist to grasp my hips.
“Better get up before they tear up my house,” I answered, turning to lean down and give him a kiss. “Good morning.”
“Stay,” he ordered, tightening his arm.
“Go back to sleep,” I murmured back, kissing him again. “I’ll make breakfast and wake you up when it’s ready.”
“Make ’em eat cereal,” he argued.
I smiled at his grumpy expression and shook my head. Usually, I was the one who refused to get up, and it was a little funny being on the other side of the fence.
“I always make a big breakfast,” I explained, peeling his fingers off my hip so I could climb out of bed. I stumbled a little as my feet touched the floor. God, I hated mornings. “Eggs, bacon, hash browns—the whole enchilada.”
“Shit, Grams wanted to make us breakfast. I gotta call her.”
I reached down and pulled his phone from his jeans and tossed it onto the bed as he pushed his face into the pillow, groaning.
* * *
“I like mine fried,” Tommy said.
“Scrambled,” Rose and Lily said at the same time.
“Over-easy,” Leo mumbled, bent over his coffee cup. My baby brother hated mornings as much as I did—I guess it was a family thing.
“She’s not your fuckin’ waitress,” Cam snapped as he finally made his way into the kitchen. I’d already finished making the hash browns and sausage and was trying to figure out how to cook the eggs before everything else got cold. “Scramble ’em, Bea.”
“Movie night was way better before you started comin’,” Tommy mumbled, earning him a smack on the back of the head from Mick.
“Yeah, cause you got to walk all over her,” Cam shot back.
“They’re fine,” I cut in, laughing. “Scrambled for the littles, fried for Tommy and Mick, Over-easy for Leo and none for Cecilia. I got it.”
“Why aren’t you eating?” Cam asked Cecilia as she came up beside me to help with the rest of the food.
“I am, I just don’t like eggs,” she replied, her eyes still a bit dazed from sleep.
“Since when?” Cam demanded.
“Since we got some farm eggs from one of Gram’s friends and I cracked it open to find a chick inside,” she mumbled back, wrinkling her nose.
“Ew!” Rose squealed as the rest of the kids groaned in disgust.
“No eggs!”
“None for me!”
“That’s fuckin’ disgusting.”
“Wonder what it looked like.”
“No eggs,” Cam ordered, stepping over to take the spatula out of my hands. “We got enough food without ’em?”
“Yeah, if I make toast.”
“I’ll make it.” He kissed me, then tapped me on the ass. “Go eat.”
The girls sat with me at the table while the boys stood at the counter with their plates, inhaling their food like they were starving.
“Gram’s birthday is next week!” Lily announced, around a mouth full of food. “We’re having a party.”
“Oh, yeah? What are you going to get her?” I asked, pushing my full plate of food away from me. Something tasted weird, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. No one else seemed to be having an issue, though, so maybe it was just me.
“I made her a scarf,” Lily answered proudly.
“It’s summer,” Cecilia scoffed, her tone surprising me.
“So! She’ll love it! She said she wanted a scarf!”
“For Christmas, maybe.”
“Shut up, Cecilia. Stop tryin’ to show off in front of your boyfriend.”
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Cecilia hissed, her face turning beet red in embarrassment.
“I saw you kissin’ Leo!”
“Jesus Christ, Leo,” Mick said furiously.
My eyes widened as I heard Cam make a noise in the back of his throat, but before I could even turn to look at him, my brother was pulling my ponytail as he passed and practically running out the front door.
“Are you outta your fuckin’ mind?” Cam yelled as the front door shut. “That boy’s probably got the clap, he fucks around so much!”
“Hey!” I yelled, my chair scraping against the linoleum as I stood. “Knock it off.”
“Hell, no.”
“It’s none of your business, Cam,” Cecilia said forcefully.
“Fuck that.”
“I don’t need your approval!”
“You sure as hell do!”
Cecilia’s fists clenched at her sides as she looked around the room at the stunned faces watching the scene unfold. “Get your stuff, Lil,” she said quietly to her little sister, who was on the verge of tears.
“I’m sorry,” Lily said guiltily, her gaze shooting back and forth from Cam to Cecilia.
“Not your fault, baby girl,” Cam said kindly. “You should say somethin’ when your sister is makin’ bad decisions.”
The entire room went silent for a long moment.
“Oh, shut the fuck up, Cameron.” Cecilia finally hissed, standing from the table and pulling Lily with her down the hall to the spare room.
The veins in Cam’s neck pulsed as he glared in the direction Cecilia had gone, and I watched him get his shit together second by second as the Hawthorne kids sat in uncomfortable silence around us.
“We should probably get going, too,” Mick said quietly, glancing from Cam to me. “Thanks for havin’ us, Trix.”
“No problem,” I smiled at him, making him blush. He was such a little cutie. “We’ll do this again soon.”
Tommy, Mick and Rose left the table and went to the living room to roll up their sleeping bags and clean up their garbage from the night before. I loved that they did that. I never had to worry that my house would be a disaster after everyone left. Leo was a pain in the ass and rarely cleaned up after himself, but the rest of them always made sure they left everything as it had been when they’d arrived. Their parents must have been doing something right, no doubt about that.
“We’re leaving,” Cecilia said as she and Lily carried their backpacks out of the bedroom. “Thanks for having us over.” She ignored Cam completely as she and Lily hugged me goodbye.
“This conversation isn’t over,” Cam warned as she opened the front door to leave.
“Cam,” I warned.
“Fuck off.” She flipped him off as she left, and I heard a murmured “Oh, shit” from the living room as I quickly stepped in front of Cam to keep him from following her.
“She needs her fuckin’ ass beat,” Cam growled as he came to a stop with my hand braced in the middle of his chest.
“She’s a little old for that,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, old enough to be fuckin’ around with your whore brother.”
“You know what? I get that you don’t like it, but stop talking shit about my brother. You’re twice as bad as he is,” I snapped back, thumping my hand on his chest.
“He got up and ran like a pussy,” Cam accused.
“Yeah, well you’ve got like a hundred pounds on him and you’re almost ten years older, what did you expect him to do?”
“Defend Cecilia, for one. What kind of man leaves his woman to face shit without him?”
“Um, a boy? He’s eighteen, Cam.”
“Old enough.”
“Not hardly.”
“You remember me at eighteen?”
“That’s not the same, at all,” I reminded him softly. “You were a man at fifteen, maybe earlier. Completely different situations.”
“Hey, guys?” Tommy called, “Uh, we’re gonna go.”
I spun from Cam and walked toward the living room to give everyone a hug goodbye. First Tommy, then Rose, but when I got to Mick, Cam’s deep voice called out, “Mick,” in warning.
“I’ll see you later,” Mick said, leaning forward at the waist to hug me awkwardly with barely any of our bodies touching.
They left quickly, and as soon as the front door was locked behind them, Cameron spoke.
“No more overnights with boys and girls,” he ordered, his voice absolute. “You wanna have them over, I don’t give a shit. But the boys aren’t stayin’ if the girls are.”
“Since when do you get to boss me around?” I asked in a surprised voice, crossing my arms over my chest.
“You want them fuckin’ in your bathroom?”
“My bathroom?”
“Only place in the apartment to get some privacy.”
“Hell, no.”
“Then no more overnights.”
He turned and stomped toward the bedroom. “Come on—I’m going the fuck back to bed.”
I snorted and followed him. Poor Cam. He looked like his head was ready to explode.
* * *
“It’s been over twenty-four hours since I’ve been inside you,” Cam murmured a few hours later, after we’d both slept. “Time to remedy that.”
His open mouth ran down my throat and I arched against him, spreading my legs so he could fit his thighs between them. When we’d climbed into bed he’d insisted we sleep naked and I hadn’t argued, even as he’d fallen asleep only minutes later while I’d lay there frustrated, feeling all of his skin against me with no relief in sight.
So now, there was nothing between us as he thrust his hips against mine, the underside of his cock rubbing back and forth against my clit.
“We need to talk,” I mumbled, my eyes still half closed from sleep.
“Not right now, we don’t.”
“Later, then.” It was probably better that I waited until he was lazy and satisfied anyway, he’d probably argue with me less.
His lips ran down the center of my chest as his hips continued to rock in a lazy rhythm. I wrapped my hands around the back of his head as he took one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking gently before moving to the other and giving it the same attention.
“Look how pretty and red they get for me,” he mumbled, swiping his tongue over a nipple.
His lips slid down my stomach and I cried out as his mouth reached my clit, giving it a wet kiss. His tongue slid down, pressing inside me for just a moment before swiping back up slowly. By the time he reached my clit again, I was panting, and my entire body jolted as he made contact.
My knees pulled up as he pressed his mouth harder against me, my legs trembling. Then he pulled away.
“Up,” he ordered harshly, grabbing my hand to pull me onto my knees.
He laid down on his back and slid beneath me, jerking my hips down to his mouth as a sound of surprised arousal flew from my mouth. Holy shit. I ran my hands down his smooth chest as his fingers dug into my hips, my nails digging into his skin as he suddenly sucked hard on my clit.
“Fuck,” I yelled, my entire body jolting.
My hair fell in a long curtain as my body curled forward, and within seconds, Cam’s hand was fisted in the strands, pulling me forward.
I braced my hands beside his hips as his knees came up and widened, his feet flexing against the sheets.
Then I took him into my mouth and felt him groan against me.
Sliding down as far as I could, I sucked hard as I pulled away again and I felt his mouth grow slack as the muscles in his thighs quivered.
“That’s it,” he moaned. “Fuck.”
I arched my hips mindlessly against his face as I took him in again, and both of his hands slid to my ass, gripping me hard as he started sucking.
My hair stuck to my face with sweat as I sucked him deeper, not even pausing when he retaliated by working his lips and tongue harder against me. I wanted more, more, more.
I didn’t even feel like myself. All thoughts had completely flown away, and the only thing I could concentrate on was his hips jerking at my movements and his mouth devouring me.
Then his hand slid back and his mouth moved to my clit as his fingers slid inside me, curling forward.
I exploded, crying out and gagging as I accidentally pushed my mouth too far down his cock.
His hand ripped at my hair, pulling me off him so he could push me forward. He sat up behind me and wrapped one arm around my waist, his hand coming to rest between my breasts.
“Condom,” he gasped, reaching blindly for the box in my nightstand.
He frantically pulled one from the box and rolled it on, and then he was surging inside me as my back arched against his chest.
“Bea,” he moaned as his hands slid over my slick skin. “Roll ’em, baby,” he instructed as he guided my hips, making my ass slide against his stomach with every tilt of my pelvis.
I followed his movements while his hands slid up and cupped my breasts. His feet slid up the bed until his knees were raised against mine, his hips thrusting beneath me.
With just the right movement, my clit rubbed against his balls, and a shudder ran through me. Right there. I needed—oh, fuck.
I came again, my rhythm faltering as he thrust harder, his hands sliding back down to hold my hips as he came beneath me with a loud roar.
I continued to shudder as he spread soft kisses over my back and shoulders, his hips still thrusting gently.
“So good,” he said softly. “Better every time.”
Cam helped me off his lap and laid me gently on the bed as he left the room to get rid of the condom. When he came back, I was still sprawled out on my back, completely worn out.
“You’re so sweaty,” he said with a gentle smile as he climbed onto the bed on his hands and knees, coming to stop when he was braced above me. “So salty.” He leaned down and ran his tongue along my belly and under the curve of my breast, making me shudder.
“I can’t feel my legs, Cam. We’re not going again,” I told him seriously.
He burst out laughing and the bed shook as he dropped down beside me.
“Wasn’t plannin’ on it,” he finally answered, rolling to his side and leaning his head on his hand. “Even though you’re gorgeous when you’re all sweaty and still shuddering.”
He reached out to run a fingertip over my nipple and I shuddered again, making him grin.
“I’m getting a job,” I announced as my sex high lowered to a reasonable level.
“What?” His face screwed up in confusion as he tried to follow my train of conversation.
“I don’t want you to take care of me. I want a job. A good one—where I kick ass and make a shit ton of money and go on vacations.”
“This is what you wanted to talk about?” he asked irritably, his hand pulling away from my skin.
“Yeah—we need to get a few things straight,” I answered sharply.
“Fuck that.” Cam rolled away from me and set his feet on the floor, scratching the back of his head for a moment before shaking it and standing up. “Do what you want.”
My mouth dropped open in surprise as he left the room. Seconds later, I leapt from the bed when I heard the shower turn on.
“You’re being an ass!” I yelled over the running water as I stepped inside the bathroom. “I was trying to talk to you.”
“Fine. Talk,” Cam replied from behind my blue shower curtain.
I opened my mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. I wasn’t sure what to say. I’d started the conversation the way I’d wanted to, but his lack of response had me a bit stumped. He was clearly pissed, but he wasn’t arguing with me and I needed that argument to state my case.
“I want to work.”
“Yeah, ya said that. So work.”
“I don’t want you to make a deal about it, or be pissed off about it.” I sat on the closed toilet lid, still completely naked as I tried to argue with him.
“Not doin’ either one of those things, Bellatrix.”
“You’re being all pissy.”
“I’m not. I’m showerin.’ You’re the one tryin’ to pick a fight.”
“I got a job offer in Portland,” I announced. I hadn’t even completed the sentence before the shower curtain was flung open and water sprayed out of the tub.
“Not fuckin’ happenin’,” he said flatly as I sputtered.
“I make my own decisions!” I snapped back, squeaking like a damn mouse as he leaned forward and dragged me into the shower with him.
“You wanna live hours away from me, Bea?” he asked roughly, jerking the shower curtain closed again so we seemed wrapped in our own little cocoon. “That what you want? Seein’ me when I can get some time, or you can get some time, once or twice a month?”
“No,” I grit back between my teeth.
“Then what the fuck are we arguin’ about here? Fill me the fuck in—because I honest to God don’t know what your fuckin’ problem is.”
“I make my own decisions,” I repeated stubbornly.
“Yeah, got that.”
“I plan my own life.”
“Got that, too.”
“Good.”
Cam shook his head and turned away from me, dipping his head forward so he could get his hair wet.
“Sounds to me like you need me to tell you not to go,” Cam said softly as I stood behind him with my arms wrapped around my chest. “You got this job offer—probably the only one you’ve got—but you don’t wanna take it.”
He grabbed my shampoo and poured a little on his head, scrubbing it into his scalp as I watched the muscles in his back and shoulders move and bunch.
“You need me to tell you I don’t want you to go?” He paused for a moment, as if waiting for me to answer, then rinsed his hair. He turned to me when he was done and swiped a hand over his face to get the water out of his eyes. “I don’t want you to take that job.”
I bit my lip as my mind raced, and let him move me gently under the spray of water while I kept silent.
“You’ll find somethin’ down here, Sweetbea,” he assured me as his fingers ran through my hair. “Just a matter of time.”
“Are you sure?” I whispered back, the fear evident in my voice. I was terrified to leave him, but I was also terrified that if I didn’t take the job in Portland, I’d never get another one. Then I’d be exactly who I didn’t want to be.
“Hell, yes, I’m sure. You’re smart and driven, and you’d look sexy as fuck in a business suit.”
I couldn’t stop the small laugh that tumbled from my mouth.
“There she is,” he murmured, smiling as he leaned down to brush his lips against mine. “My Bea is fearless. She doesn’t worry about the future because she’s too busy kicking ass in the present.”
“I’m freaked out,” I admitted as I poured some shower gel in my hands and slicked them over his chest.
“Don’t be,” Cam replied, taking a deep breath as my fingers ran over his stomach. “You’re gonna do it all and have it all, Bea. I promise.”