Chapter 18: Patrick
Daisy had been the only thing on my mind the entire weekend. When she’d told me her family history, my heart had physically ached for her. How could she live through something so tragic and act like everything was fine? She hadn’t believed me when I told her she was perfect. Daisy hadn’t said it, but I knew she was thinking it. That may have hurt the most—because I meant it. It was the most honest thing I’d said in my life.
In the beginning, I was drawn to her because of our physical chemistry. Having sex with her was the most mind-blowing experience of my life. But after a few weeks, my feelings for her evolved. I found out how many layers she had. The outside world only saw pragmatic and cold. But I kept peeling, and I found her caring and loyal side. I planned to strip more layers from Daisy, until I knew her down to her core.
I mentally cursed myself as I made my way to the breakroom. It would only get harder for us to keep our masks on the more I got to know her.
The third-floor break room had one solid wall while all others were made of glass. Whoever had designed it had attempted “open” and “airy,” but it still screamed corporate. It allowed people to see everything that was happening inside of the room.
I saw Natalie shove her lunch in the fridge, clearly pissed off about something. It would be a good idea to not get in her way today. The Ice Queen in a bad mood wasn’t how I wanted to start my Monday. Natalie went to leave and ran right into Stephanie, who was carrying a pot of coffee.
She mouthed something—probably an expletive—and dashed towards the sink. I started jogging the last few feet to the break room so I could help her. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, she had grown on me. That coffee must have been scalding, and I didn’t want to see her in pain.
Natalie ripped her shirt up and bared herself to the office. It was very unlike her, but I imagined the pain overtook her need to be modest. A very familiar sight made me freeze in place—a birthmark shaped like an orca on the area between her hip and stomach. Not only did it look exactly like Daisy’s, but it was also the same coffee color.
It must be a common area to get a birthmark. I repeated the idea in my head, praying it would be true. My stomach sank at how statistically impossible it would be. Daisy and Natalie had the same frame; the chances of them having the same birthmark was minuscule.
Uptight. Boring. Cold. Those were words Daisy had used to describe herself. And those words were perfect descriptors of Natalie.
All I could do was stare at the birthmark. The birthmark I’d kissed, sucked on, and ran my fingers over until she burst out in fits of giggles. Natalie finally lowered her shirt, and it broke the spell. I spun the opposite direction from her and ran towards the marketing department.
“Patrick, do you have time—” Dave started, but I cut him off.
“Not now.” My tone was short, and I never addressed my team that way. But right now, my brain was on overload, and I wasn’t able to comprehend anything.
I lowered the blinds to my office—also something I never did—and slid into my chair. My feet wouldn’t be able to hold me for much longer.
Natalie was Daisy. I felt like a complete idiot for not figuring it out sooner—Daisy had the same outward personality as Natalie. I just never considered it, because Daisy had shown me who she actually was. The only time she was cold towards me was the night we met. Not only did they have the same personality, but they shared the same physical features. An overly-petite frame with shoulder length brown hair.
Who would have known we were right next to each other this entire time? I knew Daisy had a life outside of Vertigo, and I had assumed it didn’t intersect with mine. But I wasn’t sure how I felt about Natalie being the person it intersected with. I’ve been having sex with the Ice Queen.
Fuck, why was I thinking of Natalie as two separate people? I needed to merge them as an entity in my head. There wasn’t a Daisy anymore. It was only Natalie.
I swallowed the bile that was rising in my throat. What the hell was I going to do? Stop showing up was an option. No, I couldn’t do that. Natalie didn’t know I was Major, so it would crush her that he abandoned her.
The better question was, did I want to stop going? My chest hurt at the idea of ending our Friday night meet ups. But there were only a few options, and none would end well.
My head was spinning far too hard to decide which to pick. I fumbled for the bottle of Tylenol I had in my desk drawer. It wasn’t enough to fix the issue at hand, but it would stop me from passing out.
I was supposed to be getting work done for the marketing campaign, but my body had other ideas. Natalie overwhelmed my mind, and my body had turned into a lead weight. I sat frozen for forty-five minutes.
A gentle knock at my door tore me from my thoughts. Fuck, I don’t want to deal with anyone right now.
“Come in,” I managed to choke.
None other than Natalie Lane walked in my office, scowling at me. “Did you forget our meeting?”
My brain wasn’t able to send words to my mouth as I looked at her. Natalie was the girl I’d been having sex with for months. She was the girl I’d been going crazy over. Somehow, I managed a response. “Yes.” I would have given her a witty response any other time. Not today.
She raised her eyebrows. “That was surprisingly honest. Can I come in?”
Although that was the last thing I wanted her to do, I nodded my head. I swallowed, trying to clear the dryness from my throat. The action caused me to have a coughing fit, and I had to stifle it.
Natalie sat down and spread the papers she had brought in across my desk. “I just wanted to go over a few things with you.”
She was talking, but I wasn’t listening to the words coming out of her mouth. All I could do was stare.
“Are you listening to me?”
“I…no…” I had never been at a loss for words before. No matter how embarrassed I was, I could always think of something to say. Even the time I posted the nude selfie on social media.
Her frown changed to a look of concern. Well, the closest thing to concern for Natalie. “Are you feeling okay? You look warm.”
It didn’t surprise me I was red. There was an internal war happening in my body—did I see Natalie as a coworker or lover? She reached over and touched the back of her hand to my forehead. The small action made me flush a deeper shade of red. I knew where that hand had been on my body, and how much I liked it.
“Patrick, you have a fever. You need to go home. Honestly, I didn’t picture you as the type who goes into work sick.”
“Yeah…”
I started to mentally undress her. What if I closed the door and took her on my desk? I knew where to touch her to make her scream in pleasure.
“Patrick.” Natalie said in frustration. She had been talking and I wasn’t listening.
“Hm?”
“I said you need to go home. Your fever is ridiculous, and you can barely respond to me. You haven’t said one snarky thing to me today.”
“Yes. I’ll go home.” If she was around, I wouldn’t be able to focus. I needed to go home and figure out what I was going to do.
“I’ll give you a ride home.”
“What? No. I mean, it’s fine. You’re probably busy.” Being in a confined environment with her wouldn’t help my “fever.” I needed to get away from her as soon as possible.
“You can’t even carry a conversation with me; there’s no way you’ll be able to drive. And I know where you live.”
I wished I could tell her I wasn’t sick and she was the reason why I was acting so odd. But this had to stay a secret, and it would look strange if I declined her offer. “Sure.”
It was a long walk to her sedan. Fortunately, I was so lost in my thoughts I tripped over nothing, emphasizing my fake illness.
“Just let me know if you have to puke. I’ll pull over,” she said as she backed out of her parking spot.
“Okay.” At least if she thought I was nauseous she wouldn’t talk to me.
I couldn’t help but tilt my head and look at Natalie as we drove. When we had first met, I was annoyed by her cold and uptight personality. I was used to it now—I might actually have enjoyed it, but I would never have told her that.
She saw me staring in her peripheral vision. “Did you need me to drop by the store and get you medicine?”
“No.” My eyes darted away from her.
“Alright.”
We reached my apartment, and I almost jumped out of the car before it was in park.
“I’m coming up with you. You look like you’re going to pass out at any minute.”
I wanted to scream “no” at her. The entire drive I had been trying not to wonder about the logistics of fucking her. Would it be different without the masks? The closer we got towards a bed, the more likely I wouldn’t be able to keep my identity a secret.
“Why are you wearing a men’s shirt, anyways?” I couldn’t let on that I knew about the coffee incident. But why did I ask about the shirt. Was I jealous?
“I spilled coffee on myself. Donovan gave me an extra shirt.”
Oh, just Donovan. That’s fine—I’m pretty sure he’s gay. Fuck, why am I even thinking about this? I slammed my face into my palm in frustration.
“Are you getting worse?” She touched my forehead as we exited the elevator.
“Don’t,” I muttered. She recoiled and tried to hide the look of hurt on her face. God, I was such a dick. “I just meant—”
“It’s fine. Feel better soon.” Natalie turned around and strode away from me.
Her heels clicked on the concrete walkway as she walked away from me. I was an asshole for treating her the way I did. But there were too many thoughts running through my head.
All I knew was I had less than five days to figure out my true feelings for her.