We’re both sopping wet when a few hours later we head back to the castle. Neither of us brought a towel considering our swimming venture was spur of the moment. I hope Cyrus’ nice car isn’t totally ruined considering how much lake water we’re getting everywhere.

Back to the castle we go, and together, we unload the shopping bags, still only each wearing our swimming suits.

“We’re going to have to hire a new maid, just to handle all of this,” Cyrus teases as we climb the stairs to our bedroom.

“Don’t you try to put this on me,” I scold him, shooting a withering stare at him over my shoulder. “Who kept adding every single thing to the shopping bag?”

He only laughs and follows me into the bedroom.

I’ve just set them down in our closet, when my phone dings from inside one of them. I hunt through the plastic and fabric until I find it.

Amelia: OMG!!! You two are just to die for! Shopping AND kissing in Europe?? It can’t get much better than that!

I smile, beginning to reply, when another text comes through. Your dad has to be getting more on board with you and Collin now. How could he not see how happy you are?

A block of ice drops in my stomach, instantly melts, and sends ice cold acid rushing through all of my veins.

I feel sick.

My ears are ringing.

“Logan?” Cyrus questions from out in the bedroom.

Numbly, my eyes rise to meet his.

“Logan, what’s wrong?” he asks, taking two steps forward.

I shake my head. The ringing in my ears is loud. So loud. And I swear I’ve turned into a block of dry ice.

I take two steps out of the closet, but my eyes once more fall to my phone.

Your dad… Your dad… Your dad…

The words scream at me over and over and over.

She doesn’t know.

“Logan?” Cyrus says once more.

“The day the intruder beheaded you,” I say. And I hate those words, but even more, I hate the ones I have to confess in just a second. “I’d just been back at my parents’ house in Greendale.” I dim the screen, hugging the phone to my chest. “Cyrus, the men who came after me, they killed my parents. Tortured them. I’ve seen some gruesome things at the mortuary, but nothing like what they put my parents through.”

“Logan,” Cyrus says, stepping forward and pulling me into his arms. “I had no idea. I’m…I’m so sorry.”

Numbly, I lay my head on his cool chest. “I left Larkin behind to take care of things, make sure there was no evidence. Just a few nights ago, Eshan and I buried them in the courtyard graveyard.”

“Eshan is here?” Cyrus asks in surprise.

I nod. “He’s staying,” I say with finality, even though I know Cyrus won’t fight me about it. “With my parents gone, there’s no one to take care of him. And with what he knows now…” I shake my head, realizing one more fact Cyrus doesn’t know. “He spent four days as a Bitten.”

And I get a little scared, because I remember Cyrus’ reaction when once a few months ago we had a conversation about them. How angry he was. How he forbid Elle from using the Bitten cure anymore.

But Cyrus only looks down at me with sympathy on his face.

Emotion wells in my eyes as everything hits me again.

I’m so tired.

I’ve been through these things, all this drama, over and over.

“It’s too much,” Cyrus says. His words come out clear and confident. “We have dealt with all of this over and over. We have handled the problems of our kind for thousands of years.” He shakes his head. I see a darkness creep into his eyes. “It is our turn for peace now.”

My brows furrow as I look up into his dark eyes. “What do you mean?”

Cyrus shakes his head again. “It is already happening, Sevan. The kingdom is crumbling and our system is shaken.” He takes my hands in his, holding them to his chest. “Sevan, after all this time, I am tired. Let…let us be done with it all.”

Confusion sinks into my expression and my mouth opens, but no words come out at first. I take half a step back to get a better view of his face. He’s serious.

“You…you just want to walk away?” I ask. “Abandon Court and the Houses and just…let them figure all this crap out?”

Still, his face darkens, but I read all the sincerity there. He’s sure about this. “We have done everything for them. There are others, every House leader can help begin a new system. Over and over we have solved their problems, and all we have to show for it is a world that thinks I am a violent mad man!”

Cyrus takes a step away from me, turning to the window. He braces his hands on the windowsill, looking out over the valley and those he speaks about.

“I am tired, Sevan,” he says. He stays like that for a very long minute, just watching them. Then slowly, he stands. He turns back to me. He crosses the room until he’s standing right in front of me. He raises a hand, cupping his palm gently to my cheek.

“After all this time, I have come to the realization that the only thing I care about, the only thing I’ve truly cared about for a long while, is you.” He says the words softly. So gently. “I am done with the rest of the world. From now on, my only concern is enjoying every second I have with you, and finding a way to break the curse that takes you away from me.”

I’m frozen. I can only stare at Cyrus in wonder while my heart goes insane.

Everything Cyrus has created is incredible. An entire new race. The politics we operate by. The governance of twenty-seven Houses spread throughout the world, and everything there is here at Court.

He’s ready to walk away from it all.

He’s ready to drop the crown.

So we can be together. Just the two of us. For once.

I let my eyes slide closed, and for just a second I relish in that love. I take hold of it, gathering it into my chest, and appreciate the size of it.

I want that. More than anything.

“No,” I say evenly.

I let my eyes slide back open. They meet Cyrus’, and I see in them just how much he disagrees with my one, single word.

“We started all of this,” I say, taking his hands in mine and holding them to my chest. “All of that out there, all of them spread throughout the world, they exist because of us, because of choices we made a long time ago. They are our family. If we just walk away…”

I shake my head, looking at my husband with wide eyes.

“I can’t do that,” I say. I swallow once, because my throat feels thick and dry. “Yes, there are those who are betraying us. But most of them… They’re innocent. They’re just living their lives, the ones we constructed so they can have peace. Most of them are not prepared for what would happen if we walked away.”

Cyrus opens his mouth to speak, but I push on, cutting him off.

“Imagine it, Cyrus,” I beg him, pleading with my eyes. “If we disappeared, if they no longer feared you. What would the world become? Because our son was far from the only one of our kind who thought we shouldn’t have to hide. Those who thought like that would gather in weeks. In months they’d form armies. They’d turn against the humans. And maybe they would stand a chance at gaining power and domination, but there are so many humans.” I shake my head. I’m filled to the brim with fear as I imagine it. “If they all united to hunt us down, we would be eradicated within a few short years. And then everything you created, after all the sacrifice, it would all have been for nothing.”

In his eyes, I can see that I am not winning. I’m not swaying him.

“It wouldn’t be for nothing,” Cyrus says. His voice is hard, strained. “Because instead of perhaps sixty years together, we have had lifetimes. There has been pain and separation, yes. But all these years.” His eyes are hard as he looks down at me. “It would not have been for nothing.”

Once more his eyes harden.

He turns, and he walks toward the doors. “I am tired, Sevan. After all this time, I’m tired.”

He pulls the door open.

“Then I will carry you for a while,” I say, feeling like I’m fracturing into a dozen sharp pieces.

Cyrus stalls, looking back at me. I can’t quite tell what he’s thinking. But he turns back to the door, and walks out.

Stab, stab, stab.

It feels like I’m hit with a thousand little darts. Pricked over and over by the pain of disagreement. But understanding.

Because I’m tired, too.

I want to run away together, to just live a simple, normal life with the man I love.

But now is not the time.

You have to understand, I tell myself. You have no idea what he’s just been through. Give him time to adjust.

So I make a deal with myself. Take a breath, give Cyrus some space. And keep doing what I’ve been doing since I arrived in Roter Himmel.