Hours later, feeling weak and depleted, I leave my sanctuary. Numbly, through the hallways, I walk, straightening my dress. I wipe the mascara lines running down my face. I fix my hair as best I can.

I rely solely on my sense of hearing and smell. Down the hall on the second floor I walk, listening for who is where.

I start with the hardest.

Eshan is lying in his bed with the TV on, digging into a bag of chips. The moment I walk inside, he sits up, clicking the TV off. He watches me with waiting, unsure eyes.

I cross the room, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I came to apologize,” I say, getting right to the point. “What I did was really terrible, and thinking of it now, I should have found a way to accomplish what I needed to without getting you involved.”

He just stares at me, and it’s hard to read his eyes at the moment.

“You’re innocent in all of this, and your life has been thrown into chaos and it’s totally unrecognizable now because of me.” I look down into my lap and once more the guilt washes over me. “It’s my job to protect you, and I failed, miserably, within the first week of being your guardian. So, I’m just really, really sorry.”

Eshan doesn’t say anything for a long minute, and when I finally look over at him, he just gives a shrug. “Whatever. At least I’m not stuck in that room anymore.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Whatever? That’s all you got for me?”

He shrugs again. “I mean, it was kind of a dick move and it was pretty intense and scary, but you didn’t leave us down there forever. And look around, Logan. There are people plotting to kill you and Cyrus. I mean, you had to do something.”

A little laugh slips past my lips. I shake my head at him, relief flooding through my shoulders.

“You’re not supposed to make it this easy for me,” I tease him.

“What?” he says. “You want me to give you endless crap?”

I laugh, shaking my head.

And then, twisting around, I launch myself at him, tackling him back to the bed and digging my fingers into his ribs, in his most ticklish spot.

“No!” he calls out in protest, writhing and twisting until he wiggles his way out from under me. He makes a dive, grabbing my ankle, tickling his own fingers against my bare skin. “You fight dirty, I will fight dirty back!”

I scream, yanking my foot out of his grip, which is only possible because I am not human any more.

And I know, even if no one else I go to apologize to forgives me, it’s okay. Because my little brother’s opinion is the only one that matters, and I can handle that.

---

An hour later, I head down the hall. The door at the end is where I hear the voices coming from. I knock on the door and wait.

Feet shuffle across the floor, and then the door swings open to reveal Ian.

He just glares darkly at me.

I push my way past him, going to stand in the big, beautiful room. And there’s Alivia, packing things into a bag over by the ornately carved desk against the wall.

“I came here to apologize,” I say, diving right in so as to avoid an argument with Ian. “I know it can’t have been pleasant, being down there in the camp with all that stuff going on. I know you were probably scared and you didn’t know what was going to happen. I’m sorry for that stress I put you both under.”

“Stress?” Ian growls as he steps forward. “Stress is worrying if you’ve got money to pay your bills. Stress is worrying about if you forgot to turn the stove off. That-”

“Ian, go find something to do,” Alivia cuts him off. She straightens, staring her husband down with annoyed and serious eyes. “I need a few minutes to talk to Logan. Alone.”

He glares at her, and I remember what Elle and Christian told me. That this was just their way of sorting things out.

With a huff, he turns, and walks out the door.

We both stare at it for a good thirty seconds after he leaves, neither of us saying anything.

And then we turn to each other and start talking at the same time.

Then we both give a little laugh, at the same time.

“Look,” Alivia says when I wait for her to speak. Her being my elder and whatnot… “You don’t really need to apologize. Yeah, it sucked, and yeah, I kind of thought we were all going to die for a while and that my House would have no idea what happened to me. But…” She trails off, and I try to read what’s in her eyes.

Surprisingly, it’s understanding.

“Your plan was genius,” she says as a little smile curls on her lips. “It was kind of insane, and I’m really not sure how you brought it all together in such a short amount of time. But it was brilliant.”

I look at her warily. “Really?” I question. “You’re not totally pissed at me and want to throw me off a cliff for keeping you all in the dark?”

Alivia sighs. She slides her hands into her back pockets, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “I mean, yeah, I wish you had let me in on it so I could have helped you. But, I can’t say that I wouldn’t have handled it the same way.”

We look at each other, and I finally realize—I’ve questioned if she’s a good person or not the entire time I’ve known she is my birth mother—but am I a good person? Sometimes. But not all the time.

I have to concede, that’s how we all are. We all have our moments in each direction.

“Stress makes you make extreme decisions, and sometimes you get so caught up that it’s hard to tell what’s good and what’s bad.” Alivia studies me, and I wonder if she’s seeing some of herself in me. “But there was a lot on the line, and in the end, sometimes all you can count on is yourself.”

She crosses the space and takes my hands in hers. I look into her eyes, the biggest difference between us. “You’ve had multiple lifetimes to prepare for this. You can do this. You will make the right calls. And our world is lucky to have you.” She takes a step back and dips into a bow. “Queen Sevan.”

My heart breaks out into a sprint. It’s so full of gratitude, and Alivia’s words fill me with confidence and affirmation.

“Thank you,” I say quietly as she straightens.

“Any time,” she smiles. She turns, going back to the clothes she’s packing. “Now, as much as I’d love to stay and help you with all of this mess, I really do think I need to get back to my House. These problems are bigger ones than I feel qualified to deal with.”

I laugh at that, and then sigh for myself, because no one can deal with it but me. “I understand. The next jet will return in a day and a half. You and Ian can leave then.”

Alivia nods, closing the bag, as packed as she can get it for now. “Now, can I ask? What’s the deal with Cyrus?”

I tense up a little at that. My defenses rise, prepared to fight. “He’s been through a lot. It shouldn’t be surprising that he’s easing back into things a little slowly. I’m happy to take the reigns for a while.”

She shakes her head. “No, I didn’t mean with that. I get it, Cyrus needs a break and all this drama isn’t where his head is at. I meant with the two of you.” She smiles. “I mean the epic love story of Cyrus and Logan.”

She places a little emphasis on the word Logan, and I know what she’s getting at.

Instantly I feel my face blush. I shake my head, dropping onto the bed behind me, and let myself flop back onto it, to stare at the ceiling.

“Is this what we’re supposed to do, as mother and daughter?” I say, smiling as I stare up at the ceiling. “Talk about boys and our feelings?”

Alivia lies on the bed too, our bodies in a tee shape. “Well, we do have twenty years to make up for. And maybe we’ll never be mother and daughter in the traditional sense. But I think we can be friends. At least I hope so. I mean, we do nearly look the same age.”

I laugh at that and flop an arm over my eyes.

But really, it will be nice to talk to someone about it.

I’ve kind of lost Amelia. I don’t have my own mom to talk to anymore.

“It’s been a little challenging,” I confess. “Cyrus came back the day of the solar eclipse.”

I hear Alivia make this little sound, like duh, of course. But I move on.

“And it’s been complicated, dealing with everything outside and holding it all together. But…” I consider my words. “But the last sixteen days have been some of the happiest of my life. Which doesn’t happen for me.”

Alivia reaches over, tucking her hand into mine.

“I know everyone has their ideas about him and experiences with Cyrus,” I continue. “But it’s so different when it’s us. We do and don’t take each other’s crap. But mostly it’s just…good. We’re…we’re really happy.”

Alivia squeezes my hand. “I’m so glad to hear that.” She takes a second to collect her thoughts before continuing. “Everything that happened between Cyrus and I ended up leading to pain, but I can say this: my heart has always ached for Cyrus. I don’t think there’s a person in the world that could have looked into his eyes and not seen his pain. I’m happy for him that he doesn’t have to go through that anymore.”

She means it. I can feel that.

So I squeeze her hand too, and for a few minutes, I can let all the weight on my shoulders go. I can just appreciate the moment of lying here, with a friend, talking about the man I’ve fallen in love with.