I texted Frannie to come over when she was done with work and she knocked on my door a couple hours later. I’d spent the time cleaning up the bathroom, and then cleaning everything.

The smile on Frannie’s face fell instantly when I opened the door.

“Oh, girl. What happened?” She started to reach out and touch my hair, but pulled her hand back as if she was scared. I hadn’t looked at myself since my cutting frenzy had ended. I probably did look scary.

I pointed to my head. “I gave myself a trim?”

“Are you asking me?”

I snorted. “No. I definitely did this to myself.”

“But why?” She circled around me, surveying the damage.

“I needed a change. It was kind of impulsive.”

“Holy shit, E. This is awful. Did you use a weed whacker?”

I laughed, because I’d decided this was funny. It was just hair, and I was glad to be done with it. It was funny because I owned a salon and could have walked over and asked any of the stylists to give me a nice cut. But doesn’t every kid steal their mom’s nail scissors and give themselves a horrible haircut, with lopsided bangs and spikes of too-short pieces on top? What I did was the same thing, only twenty years later than normal.

“I just needed the hair off my head and I couldn’t wait another second,” I said.

She ran her hands through the side of my hair gingerly. “Can I fix it, honey?”

“I’d hoped you would.”

She made a tsking sound. “It’s going to have to be pretty short.”

I nodded decisively. “Good. I wanted a huge change.”

Frannie dragged a chair into my kitchen and I sat down. In my text to her, I asked her to bring her supplies to cut my hair, so she had her own shears and spray bottle. She’d probably thought she was signing up for a quick trim, not a best friend who’d gone wild and taken it out on her hair.

We were both quiet as she sprayed my hair with water and carefully combed through it. I knew I would have to tell her everything, but my mind finally stilled as she ran the comb through my hair, and I didn’t want to break the peaceful bubble by speaking.

Frannie gently pushed on the back of my head and started cutting. I felt her scissors right up against my hairline, but I didn’t panic. Maybe I would later, when I saw myself, but right now I was only excited.

“Spill, lady,” she said.

I sighed. Quiet time was over. “Charlie and I had a fight.”

She scoffed. “It must have been quite a fight to send you running for the scissors. What happened? Do I need to take him down?”

“We were out with his friends last night—the ones from the band he toured with. I met his ex-wife, by the way.”

Frannie sucked in a sharp breath. “Is that why you guys fought? Was she a bitch?”

“Actually, no. She was really lovely. In fact, she reminded me of you.”

“Oh, well, I love her already.”

I giggled, and my shoulders relaxed slightly. “She was probably the best part of the night. Charlie’s friends were okay, but one of them was just a dickhead.”

I told Frannie about open mic night and being blindsided when they called my name and how Charlie had tried to put me up there. From the way she was vigorously combing my hair, I could tell she was getting fired up as I recounted the night.

“I’m going to take him down, E. And if I ever see that David douche, he’s going down too. What was Charlie thinking?”

I shrugged, careful not to move my head so Frannie didn’t screw up my hair any worse than it already was. “I guess he thought he was helping me. And he wanted to show me off to his friends. But I’m not some prize to be flaunted, you know? Charlie knew about my past, my fears, and still, he pushed. That’s the one thing I don’t want to be pushed on.”

“Have you talked to him today?”

“Well, that’s the other thing. Maybe the thing that sent me running for the scissors. He got trashed and broke his goddamn foot last night by kicking a lamppost! His ex was at his place when I went over there, and Charlie was passed out cold from the pain meds, with a big cast on his foot.”

Frannie gasped. “The marathon!”

“I know. I’m so angry with him right now.”

“Me too. Damn, if his foot wasn’t broken, I might break it myself. After the marathon, obviously. Wow. He really fucked up.”

“I worry about how violent you are, Frannie.”

She giggled. “It’s mostly talk.”

“It’s the ‘mostly’ part I worry about.”

“Don’t get on my bad side and you don’t have to worry!”

A laugh sputtered out of me. “I’ll remember that. And it’s always nice to know I have a friend who’ll throw down for me.”

“Anything for my sublime friends.”

She continued cutting my hair, snipping and sliding her scissors through the wet strands. My head felt lighter as clumps floated to the floor. Everything in me felt lighter.

“We should go get a tattoo!” I said.

“I’m not sure if I trust you to ink yourself permanently right now. Look at the mess you made of your hair.”

“I wouldn’t be the one doing the tattooing!”

“I’m putting my foot down,” she said firmly.

“Fine,” I pouted.

Frannie pushed my head to the side so she could cut around my ears. “You’re not as upset as I thought you’d be. It’s kind of freaking me out.”

I sighed. “Yeah, it comes in waves. Right now, I’m fine. In five minutes when it hits me that I’ll be running twenty-six miles by myself, I’ll probably be curled in the fetal position in the corner. I’m just trying not to think about it.”

She pushed my head to the other side. “Honey, you’re going to rock the hell out of that marathon. Rachel and Joe’ll be back from their honeymoon, so we’ll all be there screaming for you way too loud. I know Rachel has plans for wildly inappropriate signs.”

“What would I do without you guys?” I asked.

“You’d be so bored!”

“I have no doubt about that.” I bit my lip. “How’s my hair looking?”

“It’s looking pretty fuckin’ amazing, if I do say so myself.”

I smiled, my body buzzing with excitement. My mood swings were giving me whiplash. I’d been so low this morning when I saw Charlie lying broken in bed, and I wouldn’t say I was exactly flying high, but I was with Frannie and I was okay. And honestly, I couldn’t wait to see my hair. Frannie was a talented hairstylist, and I was pretty damn lucky she was the one fixing my hair.

“Okay, sister, I think we’re all done. Why don’t you go look in the mirror and see if you want me to tweak it at all before we dry it.” Frannie whipped off the towel from around my shoulders and I went into the bathroom to check myself out.

Before I turned on the light, I caught my reflection, but I didn’t recognize it as mine. I was Eliza with the straight hair and blunt bangs. It was just who I had always been. But that wasn’t what the mirror told me.

Frannie came in behind me and flipped on the light. When I saw myself in the bright light, I started giggling. It was short, and I loved it. There would be no hiding behind my hair. I was all face and ears and neck.

Turning to the side, I studied my profile. Frannie had made me actually look kind of funky and hip. I’d never been either of those things. I was always classic and sweet. But now, with short choppy bangs and edgy pieces around my ears, I felt like I needed some leather, smoky eyes, and maybe even a metal stud or two.

Okay, probably not. But still, I looked hot and unlike myself, but in a good way.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Frannie said.

“I love it, Frannie. It’s going to take some getting used to, but I love it. I can’t wait to play with it.”

“Oh yay! You look like a pixie rock star. I dig it.”

I jumped up and clapped. “I know!”

After she dried my hair and made it even more adorable, we flopped on my couch with bottles of beer in our hands and the pizza we’d ordered on the coffee table in front of us.

“What am I going to do, Frannie?”

She took a long pull of her beer, then asked, “Do you feel done?”

“I love him. I’m heartbroken over what’s happened, though. I don’t want to be done, but how do I get past this?”

“Just don’t pull a Frannie and end it because you’re scared, like I tried to do with James. I know Charlie screwed up big time, but I’ve never seen you happier than you were at Rachel’s wedding.”

I stuffed a big bite of veggie pizza into my mouth and thought over her words. There was no question how Charlie made me feel. But I’d seen a side of him I didn’t know that I liked. Actually, I knew I didn’t like the side of him that got drunk and kicked a lamppost. Could everything else I loved so much about him make up for it? I wasn’t sure.

“Charlie has brought adventure to me. He’s made me laugh maybe more than I ever have. And he made me feel like he was my biggest fan, like he completely supported me. But now I’m not sure if he gets me at all. You would have never tried to push me up on that stage. And even though Rachel asked me to play at her wedding, she made it abundantly clear she was totally okay with me saying no.”

Frannie tipped her beer bottle toward me. “No, neither of us would have pushed you. We’ve known you for years, though.”

“Am I being too hard on him?” I asked.

“Honey, only you can answer that. You know what you can live with and what you can’t. All I can say is I’m a big fan of how he’s treated you, minus the shitshow of last night.”

“I just...I can’t believe he’s not running the marathon with me. We’ve been training together every day for months. I’ve counted on him as my support system. I don’t even know if I want to do it without him,” I said.

Every time I thought about running for hours without Charlie making me laugh, it seemed more and more impossible.

I stuffed another piece of pizza in my mouth. My body was going to be pissed at me for all the grease and delicious melted cheese, but on this occasion, grilled chicken and steamed broccoli didn’t seem like it would cut it. And hey, it was veggie pizza, so there was that.

Frannie squeezed my knee. “E, look at me. Don’t give me that bullshit. You’re a runner. You’re in better shape than anyone I know. You’ve wanted to do a marathon since way before you met Charlie. Yes, he might have been the impetus for actually signing up, but this is your thing, and he was just along for the ride. Don’t wimp out now. You’d disappoint yourself, and frankly, me too!”

I scoffed. “So we’re going straight for the tough love?”

“The moment calls for it!”

I ran my hand through my hair, momentarily alarmed when it ended way before I expected it to. Then I remembered, oh yeah, I’d chopped it all off.

“Thanks, Frannie. I needed that. I know I can do it, but I just really had my heart set on doing it with Charlie.”

She nodded, her face full of sympathy. “And hopefully you’ll get a chance to rock another marathon when he’s all healed up.”

“Maybe. I just, I don’t know. I have to wrap my head around everything and get through the week. I can’t think about running a second marathon when I haven’t run the first!”

After exhausting the subject, we turned on The Real Housewives, laughing at the antics of grown women with way too much time and money on their hands. I felt slightly smug at the healthiness of my friendships when I saw them stab each other in the back over and over again.

Frannie said something quietly, and at first, I thought she was talking to the TV, but then I realized she was talking to me.

I turned the volume down on Tamra and Vicky going at it yet again. “I’m sorry, I missed what you said.”

She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “James wants to get married.”

My eyes widened. “What? Oh my god! You’re getting married? Way to slip that in there!”

“You know I don’t really believe in marriage.”

“Is this what you were talking about at Rachel and Joe’s wedding? Had he already asked you?”

She wrapped her arms around her stomach and tipped her chin. “Yeah. No ring or anything, but he told me he wanted it sooner rather than later, and I told him I wasn’t sure if I’d ever want it. He looked like I kicked his puppy when I said that.”

My heart ached for James. Frannie was a tough nut to crack, but I knew she loved him with every part of herself. Sometimes she just needed a little time to come around.

“That’s really rough. I thought James was your one?”

“He definitely is. There’s never going to be anyone else. He’s it for me. Everything’s just so perfect now, I don’t want it to change.” She looked dreamy as she spoke of him, their love story written all over her face.

“I hate that word perfect. There’s no such thing.” I could go the rest of my life without hearing that word again.

“I know, E. I don’t mean that either of us are perfect, but together, we make up for the other’s shortcomings, and it feels perfect. I don’t know if that makes sense or not.”

“I like your definition of perfect. But do you think it feels perfect to James if he wants something you don’t?”

She crinkled her brow. “I’m going to drink the rest of my beer and think about that. Hold please.”

Frannie tipped her bottle back and took several long gulps. As she was drinking and thinking, I contemplated her relationship and mine. She and James were in my top five love stories. It was obvious their passion and respect for one another was both fierce and bottomless, but they still had bumps on their path. It didn’t change their love, though. That was never-ending.

Maybe Charlie and I were just at a bump we could get over. I wanted that to be true. My love for him was rock solid, but I didn’t quite trust him right now.

Frannie set her empty bottle on the coffee table. “I’m going to marry him. I’m going to marry him so hard, he won’t know what hit him.”

I laughed at her words and sudden change of heart. “That beer must have been really insightful!”

“I love him. Like, big, huge, crazy love. And my objections to marriage are pretty much the same bullshit reasons I was scared of being in a relationship. Look at us now, though!”

I smiled softly. “You guys are pretty enviable.”

She smacked her knee. “Damn right we are! We’re completely adorable! Can you imagine James in a tux, waiting for me at the end of the aisle? Oh, I’m going to swoon right here just picturing it.”

“Love you, Frananas. I’m glad we could talk it out.”

She turned to me. “Did I just totally hijack your bitch session?”

I leaned in and hugged her. “Never! I’m happy you found each other, promise.”

Frannie planted a loud kiss on each of my cheeks. “You’re going to be okay. You know that, right?”

I nodded. “I know it. I’ve got my girls, my little town, and my two strong legs. I’m pretty lucky.”

She went home to jump on James and I was alone again. But this time, I really was okay. My heart was achy, but I had hope it wouldn’t stay that way. And I was more determined than ever to run the marathon. I had a week to prepare—a week to figure out a game plan of running alone.