I glanced at Cedric who was wiping down the table with a clean towel. His sleeves were rolled up as he stretched over the table to clean the end. A few pieces of loose hair that had escaped his bun drifted across his face. He moved on the next table and glanced at me with his chilling eyes, but I looked away, unable to hold his gaze.

Why am I being so timid?

I mean, not even half an hour ago I was practically throwing myself at him, and now I’m getting all shy and nervous around him. I took a deep breath as I finished wiping my table. I need to stop lying to myself. He knows I want him and his big hard cock. I licked my lips as I thought of licking his shaft. I want to have a taste of his cock. I wanted to wrap my lips around him and make him moan as he feels my soft virgin lips. Heat flared through me.

FUCK.

I whipped my cloth onto the other table furiously, taking out all my sexual frustration on the cleaning.

URGH.

Should I drop my morals? Should I just give in?

I mean not many people nowadays have a relationship with their first. I know I’m being unrealistic, but . . . should I just give in? I looked over at Cedric again, who was fixing his hair. His arms were above his head and his shirt lifted to reveal a trail of hair that disappeared down below his beltline. I knew exactly where it led. I instantly felt hot and steamy as my eyes followed the line.

I can rewrite my morals. I swallowed.

I finished my last table and walked over to Cedric.

“I’m done. Do you need any help?”

Cedric grunted as he wiped down the furthest part of the booth. “I’m done.” He brought his thick forearm to his forehead to wipe away his hard work.

“Well, that’s all I have to do. I’ll double check with Maggie and see if there is something else. You can wait in the front. I'll be right back.”

I headed toward Maggie’s office and knocked on the open door.

“Hey, Maggie. I finished cleaning up. Is there anything else you need?”

She looked over at the clock and then back at me. “Wow, I think that’s a record. You should bring Cedric along again,” she let out a girlish giggle.

I smiled at her and rolled my eyes. She definitely had a little crush on him.

“Here’s your coat, sweetie. I took it from the back since it was crazy. One of the new bus boys spilled the tomato sauce and it got all over the wall and floors. I grabbed it before it got ruined,” she handed me my pea coat.

“Thank you, Maggie,” I put on my coat, “So I just want to remind you that I’m off next week and then the following week —”

“I know. I know. You sound like a broken record, sweetie.”

“Thank you, Maggie. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I walked away from her and headed toward Cedric who was on his phone.

“You ready?”

“Let’s go,” he got up from the bench as we headed toward his rented car.

The second my ass touched the leather of the seat I felt my heart start to race. I was thinking about what had happened in the bathroom earlier, and all I wanted to do was jump on him and take him for a ride. Cedric revved the Porsche’s engine and sped out of the parking lot faster than I had ever seen a car go.

“Thank you, again. For helping me with that guy.”

“You really don’t need to thank me, Penny,” he touched my thigh making sure I knew that he was there for me, “So does that happen a lot?”

“No. Well, I mean just once before, but it was a long time ago with an old guy who’d had too much to drink. That was 100 times worse than today.”

Cedric's jaw tightened up, giving his defined jaw line a pulse. I could tell he was really bothered by the fact that this happened before. His hand tightened around my leg, which made me feel aroused and protected at the same time.

“Thanks again for cleaning up with me,” I cleared my throat trying to think about anything else other than sex.

Cedric shrugged, “Honestly, it seemed like you’d had one hell of a night. And one of those problems was my fault, so I’m sorry about it.”

I thought of the blond in the tight dress.

“It’s fine. So ummm . . .” I hesitated to ask the next question, “So are you going to see her again?” I played with my black stockings.

The car came to a halt at a stoplight and I saw Cedric slowly turn to me with raised eyebrows.

“Really? What do you think?”

I hid my face in the collar of my jacket and darted my eyes toward him.

“No, I’m not,” his hand went up my thigh until he grabbed my hand. His touch was almost orgasmic.

“I was just wondering. I mean I don’t care or anything,” I lied to him and myself.

He let out a soulful chuckle as he shook his head, “Why do you keep trying to push me away? I know you want me, and you must know by now that I want you,” Cedric winked.

I do want him, but . . .

Should I rewrite my rules?

Cedric’s hand was getting more comfortable on my lap, wandering toward my inner thigh, his fingertips going under the edge of my skirt.

“So, what do you want to do when we get home?” he licked his lips and took a bit. He was eyeing me up and down, devouring my body as if he’d had nothing to eat for years.

My heart was going into overdrive now. This was going too fast. I needed a little more time to think and figure out exactly what I want. I mean, for fucks sake, I’d only just had my first kiss a few months ago.

I placed my hand over his and slid it down my thigh. As much as I wanted Cedric, right now, I knew I wanted to take things a little bit slower. I don’t want to kiss a guy and then fuck him on the same day.

“I am not that type of girl. I’m not easy,” I clarified.

He let out a bark of laughter. “Oh, I know. You’re the furthest thing from easy,” he lowered his hand to my knee, giving me some space, “I don’t want easy.”

We spent the last few minutes of the drive home in comfortable silence as we pulled into the driveway. My dad was already home, but none of the lights were on. We walked into the quiet house. I slowly took off my shoes, trying to make my time with Cedric last a little longer. I wanted to be with him, but I also didn’t want to do anything I was going to regret. I placed my coat in the closet and watched Cedric take off his leather jacket. All his muscles in his body moving together, tightly and in sync, to accomplish a simple task.

“I’m going to head straight to bed,” I headed toward my room.

Cedric grabbed my waist from behind and spun me around, giving my lips some much needed attention. “Where do you think you’re going?” he whispered in between his kiss.

His deep throaty voice made my body tingle.

“I-I —,” I stuttered as I pushed him away for the hundredth time today. I hated how many times I’ve pushed him away, but I need to think clearly without his body being near me. I took a step back, “I’m going to go to bed. We can . . . talk . . . tomorrow.”

I instantly regretted the words as soon as they left my lips. Cedric shook his head and sighed, frustrated, his jaw clenching. I knew he was sick of my confusion, but I needed to do what was right for me. Or what I think is right. I need to make up my mind already.

What do you want, Penelope?

“Good night, Penelope,” Cedric rubbed my cheek with his rough thumb and went straight to his room.

I knew he was at his breaking point. I can’t keep pushing him away. I headed toward the bathroom to take off my makeup, but Cedric wasn't there. He must have headed straight for bed to avoid me, and I don’t blame him.

* * *

I looked over at my clock. The green digital light turned from 2:15 to 2:16am. I had been awake for three hours and my mood hasn’t changed. I was still thinking about Cedric, his cock, my virginity and my dumb rule.

I knew I was being unrealistic. I have a roommate in the next door who wants to fuck, literally, and I am saying no? I keep pushing him away, over and over, and over again. But why? Why am I fighting with myself?

Not only is he right down the hall, but he’s everything I’m looking for in a man. He is my dream man. He’s the sexy, fit, funny and older man I have always wanted. I mean, he’s more perfect than the man I made up. My head started to ache from all the conflicting thoughts I had. I yelled into my pillow.

Why can’t I be spontaneous? Why do I always have to be this way?

I yelled into my pillow again, trying to empty out all my emotions, but it wasn't working. My head was still killing me. I sat up on my bed and looked over to the bathroom door.

I can be spontaneous.

Not everything in life goes as planned, I should know this. I can’t keep living my life like I am being controlled. I can’t expect to have a serious relationship with my first fuck . . . and so what? It’s not that big of a deal, Penelope. It’s just sex, and it should be fun, not complicated. Just do what feels right. I took a deep breath and looked myself in the mirror.

Fuck it. I want him.

I hopped off the bed and headed toward the bathroom. I opened the door and headed for the door that led into Cedric’s room. I stood still staring at his door, clenching my fists and puckering my lips.

Before you go in, Penelope, remember. It’s just a fling. You're putting your rule to the side for a fling and there is nothing wrong with that. And most importantly . . . don’t get attached. Oh, and stop lying to yourself and him. You aren’t a liar.

The door creaked open as I took a step inside. I closed the door behind me and looked over at Cedric. He was shirtless, but this time he was wearing his blue briefs. I swallowed and inched toward him. I felt my heart rate pulse throughout my body as I moved toward the beast.

“Cedric,” I said softly.

Why did I call him?

It’s not like he’s going to answer. One thing I know about Cedric is that he is a heavy sleeper. He opened his eyes and looked at me.

“Penny?” he grunted.

Wait, he actually woke up? Really?

I stood in front of him, pulling on the edge of my nightshirt.

“Is it okay if — I umm,” I swallowed my words. This was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I didn’t think making the first move would be so nerve-wracking. I cleared my throat, “Um . . . can I spend the night here? With you?” I specified. Even though I’m pretty sure he knew what I meant.

He looked at me blankly, as if he was trying to figure out if this was a dream or real life. A lock of his hair fell across his face. Each second that passed felt like an eternity. Maybe I should have just talked to him in the morning instead of at 2am. But I knew that if I waited any longer I might have backed out.

Cedric pulled back that covers and patted the bed, inviting me in. I felt a little burst of relief and happiness enter my body as I climbed into bed with him. I went face first into his pecs, overtaken over by the scent of his musky cologne. I felt safe and warm in his hot embrace.

He hugged me and let out a little moan as he rubbed against me to get comfortable. I felt his cheek rest on the top of my head. His hug became tighter and tighter as his cock grew larger and harder against me. I felt my pussy pulse with each second that passed as his cock pressed against my pelvis. Cedric started to grunt louder while he ran his hand down the side of my body, feeling my curves until he got to my thigh. Cedric pushed me on my back forcefully and crawled on top of me with his almost naked body. His hair over my face and his abs contracted tighter as he watched my chest rise and fall from my rapid breaths. He pressed his erect cock lightly against my hip while his cool eyes only focused on my quivering lips.

I don’t want to fight this feeling anymore.

I wrapped my legs around his hips, feeling his cock press against my pussy, and I went in for the kiss I had been waiting for. Our tongues battled with tension and frustration. I wanted him inside of me so badly and there were only a few millimeters of fabric separating us from that happening.

I want Cedric to be my first.

Cedric started to hump me as though we were already fucking. His hard cock, pressing against my sensitive clit and sending long electric vibes throughout my body.  

“Fuck me,” I moaned into this mouth.

Cedric stopped and looked at me with wide eyes. He smirked at me and kissed my forehead tenderly. He dropped next to me as I loosened up my legs.

Did I say something wrong?

“Promise me something,” his raspy voice filled the empty room.

I looked up at him, confused about what he was going to say, “Yeah?”

“Stop pushing me away,” he pulled me in and wrapped his hard body around mine.

I nodded, “I know.”

He kissed the top of my head letting me know that I had nothing to worry about. “Now let's go to sleep and we can . . . talk . . . tomorrow,” his words drifted off as he went back to sleep.