“Cade, I don’t know,” I said, as my tongue darted out to moisten my lips. It was an involuntary action on my part, thinking of those gorgeous set of lips on mine. His eyes focused on my tongue for a minute then back to my face.

There was a moment that hung between us, then I stiffened remembering something he’d just said.

“So, if you switch to a different company here in a couple of weeks, will I see you again? Are you going to come back to this bar?”

“Probably not,” he rumbled. “Not until it’s over.”

My head jerked back in denial, and I examined his sad brown eyes. He honestly looked like the news was as awful to him as it was to me. With the thick attraction weaving between us, it was a blow to hear that we might not see each other again for a while.

“It won’t be as bad as you think, Suzie. I’m here and I’m alive. I could even call you from time to time, now that you know. I’m not walking away or dying. This wasn’t something I planned, they just told me today this might be happening. Jesus, if I knew you were going to be here, I would have told them to shove that shit up their collective asses. But I’ve committed to see this through at this point, so either way, I'll be gone for short periods of time. I’ll be back, I promise.”

“But you can’t promise that you’ll come back. Not at all. I mean if you got shot in Colorado by some random freak, then when is your luck going to run out? This person you’re hunting isn’t some amateur. He’s killed people, a lot of people.”

“So did the guy in Colorado.”

I stomped my foot. “Not what I wanted to hear!”

He held his fingers to my lip for a second, “Shh. Calm down. I don’t want anyone else to hear what we’re talking about here.”

I huffed as soon as he removed his hand and whispered, “This is the dumbest thing. No, I take that back. Pretending you were dead was the dumbest thing. Now you’re after yet another serial killer? What. The. Fuck?”

His lips twitched at my words, and he gave me an amused look. “You know the answer to that already. You just don’t like it.”

“I…” I said, pausing on what I wanted to say. “I mourned you. I mean I made some changes to my life that were good. I really did, but—”

“Like starving yourself? Not a positive change.”

“No. I haven’t starved myself. I just went to the damn gym and started working out. It filled the time and helped me sleep. You have no idea what it was like, so don’t judge me.”

“I’m not trying to,” he said as he ran his fingers across my jaw. “You’ve always been beautiful to me. I just want to make sure you’re not doing this to hurt yourself. I like you just as much right now as I did when I first met you. You don’t have to fill the time any more. I’m here.”

I twitched from the sore spot on my jaw as his thumb brushed against it again. “I like how my body is now. I’m stronger, I feel better. Those changes were good, regardless of what happened. Fuck, why are we talking about this? I don’t want to mourn you again, you idiot. That’s what I’m trying to say. If we kiss or go any further with this thing, then I don’t know if I can handle it.”

“You’re one of the toughest women I’ve met, baby. I doubt there’s anything you can’t handle.”

The compliment wasn’t missed. It was nice to hear that this man thought of me like that, even though he didn’t know everything about my past. He thought I was tough just from the little he knew about me and that was big. It meant a lot to me, but I wondered how he would feel if he knew I was prone to making so many wrong choices.

No regrets. Just some bad choices that would haunt me.

But not seeing him again for who knew how long? I wasn’t so sure I could deal with it. Not knowing if he was dead or alive. Not knowing where he was. Now that I knew he was alive again in the world, it would make the heartache more difficult in ways.

Maybe it was enough to know that he’d been thinking about me. The missed chances sucked, but he’d admitted that he’d wanted me. And that made it so much more important that I either walk away or endure the possible heartache. If I walked now, then it would be my choice. His “death” hadn’t been my choice at all. I controlled my destiny in this moment.

“I need to go home. I don’t think kissing you is a good idea. I need some time to think. I won’t tell anyone, but this is just such a shock.”

A smile played across his lips. “I think kissing me is a great idea.”

“You would, but you haven’t had to live with your ghost for the last eight months. Frankly, I think kissing you, only to have you disappear again, would just make things worse. So, look me up sometime afterward. I just can’t do this.”

I stepped out of his arms and his hand slid off my hip to let me go.

I bent to pick my bag up beside the chair, just as two large hands grasped my hips and angled me to face him. He lifted me up with ease, causing my legs to part around his hips. There was a distinct bulge there that pressed against me and I gasped.

“What are you doing? Put me down, Cade.”

“No.”

In a few steps, he had me roughly pressed up against the wall.

“I’m going to kiss you, woman. I’ve waited too fucking long. I was an idiot back then and tried to stay away from you, but I’m not going to let you out of here without kissing you this time. I’m not a ghost. I’m real and this job won’t last forever.”

His body pressed into mine and my breathing picked up, coming in small gasps. His hands gripped my ass as he held me in place, sending a burning sensation into my stomach.

We shared a breath for a moment, just staring at each other. Then his mouth came crashing down on mine.

His kiss was not gentle. Not like the kiss of a friend or a first date. It was not a kiss that allowed doubt as to who he was. It screamed Cade. The man that I’d watched growl at me for the last few years. The man that I’d both teased and lusted after.

His kiss demanded that the moment should be seared into my brain for a lifetime.

Rough and unruly, his tongue plunged into my mouth only to retreat so that he could suck at my bottom lip.

I whimpered for several reasons. Wanting him, loving what he was doing to me. But also, he’d aggravated the cut in my mouth. It was healing, but it was still very tender.

He leaned back, confusion written on his face as he licked his lips. His eyes dropped to my mouth.

“What the fuck? You’re bleeding. Are you okay?”

“I have some stiches—”

“Why?” he growled and let go of my legs.

My feet touched the ground and his hand came up to my lips. He was still pressed against me, so I couldn’t escape. I turned my head to the side hoping to avoid his eyes, but his other hand shifted my face back to him and touched the tender spot in my jaw yet again.

When I winced, he let out a furious growl as he crossed the room, sifted through a drawer in his desk and came back with a tissue.

“Tell me why. Right now! Your jaw and those stitches have nothing to do with a fucking toothache.”

“You don’t want to hear this, Cade, and I’m not ready to tell you.”

He stepped back from me and roamed the office in an agitated state. Then he punched the wall beside the door.

The action made me flinch from the sound but didn’t scare me. I knew it came from his own frustration and not out of anger toward me.

“Fuck, woman! Why are you hurt? You show up here out of the blue telling me that you moved back since nothing was holding you in Lakefield. I get that, but you’ve given me nothing else! I told you my story, now you’re going to tell me yours.”

I didn’t move as he stalked back toward me and caged me in with his body. Any thoughts on escaping were now moot. He leaned his face toward mine and stared into my eyes, making sure that I saw his fury and pain.

“Why?” he whispered.

I cleared my throat and dropped my eyes to his chin. “I went on a few dates with someone recently. I thought it would be good to move on. I grieved for six months, and I thought it might be good just to get back out there.”

His fury hadn’t lessoned or increased, but I could tell that it pained him to hear this.

“You were dead, Cade. You weren’t coming back.”

His head dropped to mine and he gently kissed my forehead. “I know. It just hurts hearing it. Go on.”

“I made a bad choice.”

He wrapped me up in his arms and carried me to his desk. Setting me on the wooden surface he stepped between my legs and held me for a moment.

He took a deep breath, and I could hear his heart beating rapidly as he pressed me against his chest.

“How bad?”

Dabbing at my lip with the tissue, I thought about what to say. When I glanced down, there was only a small drop of blood on the white surface. Enough for him to possibly taste with the rough kiss he’d given me, but not enough to worry about a stitch tearing.

“I’m okay. It wasn’t like that. I mean, he tried something, but I didn’t want to. I ended it. He just didn’t take it well. I showed up at his house before I left to return something. He was drunk and hit me. I think I bit my lip when I hit the floor. Told me a bunch of shitty things I won’t even repeat. Logan patched me up.”

He stiffened against me and didn’t move. His entire body felt rigid. When I tried to lean back to look at him, he pressed me closer.

“This is my fucking fault,” he whispered.

I pushed hard at his chest. “No, it’s not. It was my shitty judgement. I had no idea that was going to happen, but it did. It’s done now. I’m fine.”

“It’s not done by a long shot. He’s a dead man. Tell me who did it.”

“No. Stop it. He didn’t get what he wanted, and that burned him enough. Just let it go.”

He rubbed my back and chuckled. “Not on your life.”

I rolled my eyes. Amazing. He was back in my life for a day, fired me, kissed me, told me he wanted me basically, and threatened to kill David.

“Anyone else I need to kill?” he asked with a grumble.

“No.”

“What did he say to you?”

“Nothing.”

“Suzie, I will turn you over my lap and spank the shit out of you if you don’t give it up. He’s already a dead man, so telling me won’t change the outcome.”

“Yeah, but it might make the difference between whether you take a crowbar to him first before you kill him.”

“Noted,” he agreed with a growl.

He wasn’t going to give up, so I tried stating things as delicately as possible. “He insinuated that the reason why we didn’t have sex was because I was heavy. Then he proceeded to suggest that I wasn’t going to succeed in life because I was a nobody. That’s it.”

Cade shifted me off the desk and into his lap as he sat down in one of the chairs.

He kissed the side of my face tenderly. “I’m sorry he told you those things. You know that’s not true, right?”

“I know. He was just drunk and angry, and pretty much a moron.”

“I should have been there for you. I shouldn’t have taken this job.”

Sadness reflected in his eyes when they met mine. “It’s not your fault. We can’t go back and change things. It’s life.”

“It should never be your life, though. I swear that it won’t ever be your life when this is done.”

His lips grazed my cheek gently, and he whispered, “I promise you’ll never have to deal with fuckers like that again. You’re beautiful, sunshine. I’ve always seen what’s under that sass and sarcasm. You have a beautiful heart, and no one will ever get away with telling you that you’re nothing again. You’re somebody to me.”

“It’s done. I didn’t listen to it.”

“You waited six months?”

“Yeah. Stupid I guess, but I just couldn’t get past it.”

“If you ever did lose me, I want you to move on with your life,” he said. I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off. “No. I want you to find someone that’ll treat you right. Someone that’ll see you the way I see you. I want you to be happy.”

“You just said I wouldn’t have to worry about it.”

He chuckled. “And you won’t. But if anything happens—”

“Cade, I can’t do this. This is exactly what I don’t want to think about.”

“Just promise me that you’ll find someone nice.”

I huffed. “Okay. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Turning toward the clock, he sighed. “There’s never enough time. I have to get you in a car and headed home.”

I slid out of his lap and stood in front of him until he got up.

His hands felt rough against my cheek as they skimmed over me.

“I’m going to kiss you again.”

“Probably a bad idea,” I said as I smirked up at him.

“Hmm. No, it’s the best idea. I want you to know that you drive me insane. That you’re the sexiest fucking woman I’ve ever met. That when we’re together, and we will be together, that I’m going to touch every inch of you, kiss and suck and fuck every part of your body.”

“What…” I started to say as he lifted me up again and returned us over to the same wall we were at before.

“I just wanted to give you a warning, baby. Now, where were we?”

He pressed his pelvis into me and gave me a wicked smile.

I let out a gasp when I felt him start to harden from the contact.

When he dipped to kiss to my neck, I let out a long moan that seemed to excite him. His hips rocked into mine on a hard thrust, and I was pinned so thoroughly to the wall that I wouldn’t have been able to escape if I’d wanted to.

I squeezed my legs around him, and nearly came when he started rubbing against me.

His mouth came back to mine and he gave me a gentle kiss against my sore lips.

“When this is over, we’re not fucking around, pretty girl. It just has to end first, then we’re making this happen.”

“Maybe,” I replied, looking at him. “Guess we’ll see when it’s over.”

He gave me a sly smile before he spoke. “You’re mine.”

Sliding out of his arms, until my feet touched the floor again, I gave him a frown. “I’m no one’s right now.”

Giving me a thoughtful glance for a moment, he smirked. My stomach growled, and his eyes slid down my body.

“Hungry?”

I shrugged. “A little, it’s normal. If I get off a late shift like this, I always need a little something before I can sleep.”

Stepping back, he considered me for a moment. Thoughts drifted across his face before he spoke again. “I don’t have to leave until tomorrow afternoon. Let’s go somewhere.”

“Uhm…”

His hand slid around my waist and turned me toward the door. “Food.”

“All night diner?” I asked, not quite sure if I wanted to do this or not. I knew I needed to think, but it was hard not to take him up on the offer to spend a little more time with him.

“I know a few. I don’t go out much this late, but occasionally I get the same way you do. Are you going to kill me if I order something healthy?”

“Nah. Just don’t lecture me for eating pancakes or anything.”

He gave me a nod. “Deal. Get moving.”