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Dangerous Games of a Broken Lady: A Historical Regency Romance Novel by Linfield, Emma (13)

Chapter 13

A drizzle of rain misted down from the gray skies, casting an eerie light across the city of London. It had been a sunny morning, with the clouds rolling in shortly before noon. Adelaide and her mother, Lady Leeds, walked along the glistening streets near Covent Garden. They had no real intentions other than to peruse the fabric shops and to contemplate the latest bonnets and gowns on display, to gather some ideas to give to the family seamstress.

“What a gloomy day it has turned out to be,” Lady Leeds mused.

Adelaide nodded. “Indeed, Mama.”

“My darling, are you feeling quite well? You have been rather quiet today.”

She forced a smile onto her face. “A touch of fatigue. Nothing to worry yourself over,” she replied. “It has been a somewhat eventful week and the events therein have disturbed my sleep.”

“You poor thing,” Lady Leeds murmured, rubbing her daughter’s hands gently. “At least everything is resolved. The announcement has been published. It will not be long until the date is set, and you are walking down the aisle towards your new life with the Duke of Bradford.”

Rosemary had hurried in that morning with the day’s papers, opening the crisp pages to the engagements and obituaries. The announcement had been front and center. Adelaide had always thought it strange that the two should go side-by-side. Then again, it was supposed to be ‘till death us do part.’

There had been a letter alongside the papers, addressed to Adelaide. The unmistakable handwriting had comforted her deeply. Within, there had been a simple message: Solemn apologies for my former trespasses. Be assured of my honesty, my love. I have thought of nothing but you. I had sought to ensnare yet find myself the ensnared. Soon.

“For that, I am glad.” Adelaide lifted her face to the tentative raindrops. Each felt like a cooling kiss upon her skin.

“You must not listen to the remarks of your father and Jasper where the Duke is concerned,” Lady Leeds said unexpectedly. “They do not see things as we do. They cannot understand the world as we do. Society would have us all believe that women are weak and subservient—they do not have the ability to witness our strength and fortitude. It is our fiercest weapon, my darling. Our solemn secret.”

Adelaide felt close to tears. A state she had been in much too often of late. It was not in her nature to be so disconsolate. Truly, she hoped that things were finally looking up.

“You cannot know what a relief it is to hear you say that,” she whispered. “I thought I was taking leave of my senses, that I was somehow alone in all of this.”

Lady Leeds gripped her daughter’s hand tighter. “You are never alone in this endeavor, my darling girl. I shall always be here. I have been in your place, remember? I persevered, and I do not think I could have been happier with another. Your father is a good man. I imagine the Duke of Bradford shall prove himself to be so, in due course.”

“What would I do without you?”

“I pray that it is many years before you have to find out.”

Adelaide smiled and looped her arm through her mother’s. “I have never asked you before, Mama, but was there ever another? A man you might have loved just as well as you do Papa?”

A wistful look glimmered in Lady Leeds eyes. “A fleeting fancy, once upon a time.” She paused, as though realizing what she had said. “You must never breathe a word of this to your father.”

“I never shall,” Adelaide promised. “Please, tell me more of him.”

“Oh, it was a fledgling romance—barely blossoming,” she said, with a wry laugh. “He was the son of an Earl, who lived close to the Delancey Estate. We had known each other since we were twelve years of age. Our families often spent Christmastide together. He and I would rush about one another’s houses in a state of foolish giddiness, putting up decorations and troubling the cooks for pastries and sweets.” Her eyes twinkled at the memory, the sight tugging at Adelaide’s heart.

“How wonderful.”

“He often told me that he was going to marry me one day,” she went on, her tone bittersweet. “As the years passed, our friendship took on a strange metamorphosis. It happened without us realizing. My seventeenth birthday had recently passed when he tried to kiss me under the mistletoe. I ran from him. Indeed, I refused to see him for a week afterwards, I was so mortified by my reaction and what it might mean. I think I must have known then that I adored him. Although, I would never have admitted it, least of all to him.”

Adelaide struggled to envision her mother as a younger lady, falling in love with a different man. It painted a sad picture. She could not help but wonder where her mother might be, had she married the Earl’s son instead of Ephraim. Would she have been happier? Her mother had never seemed unhappy, but Adelaide knew their marriage had been one of convenience.

“What happened?”

Lady Leeds shrugged shyly. “I did not see him again.”

“Why-ever not?”

“At the end of that week, where I had so carefully avoided him, my father came to me and announced my betrothal. I was to marry the heir to the earldom of Leeds.” Lady Leeds sighed softly. “I did not have the heart to face Henry again. There seemed little use in it.”

“Henry?” Adelaide tried the name out.

“That was his name. He is happily married now, as am I,” she replied firmly. “It all came to the proper conclusion in the end.”

“Do you ever think about him?”

Lady Leeds looked mildly shocked. “Adelaide, you must not ask such questions.”

“My apologies, Mama. I am simply interested in your past… I realized that I have never asked before. It seems perverse that I should have gone all these years without discovering more about you—about the girl you were before you became my mother.”

“We bury much of ourselves when we become wives and mothers, Adelaide. You will see for yourself, I imagine,” she said quietly.

“So, you do not think about him?”

“Adelaide!”

She grinned.

“My affections lie solely with your father, and that is all there is to it.” A small smile lingered upon Lady Leeds lips.

This outing was turning out to be a most welcome distraction. Adelaide had not thought it possible to take her mind off recent events and clandestine secrets, but Lady Leeds was proving to be very diverting company. In that moment, she adored her mother more than anyone else on Earth. Although, that was nothing new—she always had. Others came close, but Lady Leeds was Adelaide’s saving grace. Her perpetual comfort.

“Everyone seems to believe I am making a foolish error in marrying Duke Bradford,” she admitted, as they continued on down the sandstone pavement. “Do you?”

“He behaves like a gentleman ten years his junior, but I think he has potential,” Lady Leeds replied. “Marriage can make a man, Adelaide. My suspicion is that Duke Bradford is just such a man. I can tell he adores you. When he sat with us in the drawing room, he could not take his eyes off you.”

“You do not think me prey?”

She laughed. “I do not, my darling. He did not look at you as though he wished to devour you. He looked at you with quiet admiration… a simmering respect. There is credit in that.”

“You do not think I should be patient, and see if a better man comes along?” She paused. “Or, at least one with a less colorful reputation?”

“You are one-and-twenty, my dear. If such a man were to come and sweep you off your feet, he would have done so already,” she said kindly. “You have given the gentlemen of this fair country ample opportunity to court you. Duke Bradford’s gain is their loss.”

Adelaide sighed. “I suppose you are right, Mama.”

“Tell me, darling, are you fond of the Duke?”

“I believe I am, in my own way.”

Lady Leeds smiled. “Then you are already one step ahead of so many others. There is affection between you, however intangible it might seem. That is not always a guarantee.” A chuckle bubbled from her throat. “More to the point, he is still reasonably young and is rather pleasant on the eye. That is not always a guarantee, either.”

The thought comforted Adelaide. Perhaps, from that tiny seed of mutual fondness, true love might grow. Wouldn’t that be a glorious thing?

Adelaide had always been a pragmatic young lady. She had no delusions about a white knight in shining armor coming to her rescue, to whisk her away to a land of fairies and rainbows. If she could wed a man of means and have love blossom over time, then that might just be good enough for her.

They crossed over the cobbled square in front of St. Paul’s Church and headed in the direction of St. Martin’s Lane. They had plans to meet with one of Lady Leeds’ dear friends at one of the local tea rooms, before making their way to the museum at Montagu House, for an afternoon excursion. Both of them adored the exhibits and it was close by. Indeed, they went rather often, in the hopes of happening upon a new display. The taxidermy was of particular interest to Adelaide, who loved to marvel at all the weird and wonderful creatures.

“Was it this one, Mama?” Adelaide asked, coming to St. Martin’s Tea Room.

Lady Leeds frowned. “Oh goodness… I cannot recall, darling. We shall have to pause here a moment and hope we catch sight of Lady Phyllis upon her arrival.”

Lady Phyllis Langtree was a formidable lady with a voice as loud as the bells of Westminster Abbey. From the portraits that Adelaide had seen, Lady Phyllis had once been a true beauty, but the years had plumped her out and grayed her hair. Still, her vibrant personality remained untouched. Amusing and quick-witted, Adelaide loved to spend time with her. Her mother was always at her most relaxed around Lady Phyllis, and they often reminisced about their girlhood endeavors.

With mother and daughter keeping an eye on opposite ends of the street, they huddled under a striped canopy to shelter from the drizzling rain. Eager for a taste of one of the delicious cakes, and longing for a sip of hot tea, Adelaide turned her gaze towards the window of the tea room behind her. Patrons sat by the window, enjoying themselves. She wondered if they were merely smiling to pique her envy.

Her casual observation drifted beyond the first cluster of customers, leading to the tables in the center of the tea room. She hoped to find a spare one, where they might sit and wait for Lady Phyllis.

She froze as her eyes settled on a familiar face.

Miss Leah Green…

The shock was not in seeing her there, but in seeing who else was present. A gentleman took up the chair opposite. Again, it would not have been too remarkable a sight—he might have been her brother or her cousin—had it not been for the old, disinterested woman who sat at Leah’s side. A chaperone, if ever Adelaide had seen one.

What are you thinking, Leah? Has sense evaded you? What are you doing here, with him? For goodness’ sake, think of dear Jasper! She longed to shout every word through the rain-spattered pane. You need only be patient. Heavens above, you silly girl; a little forbearance for a lifetime of happiness. A good, honest man, with a heart of gold—that is what awaits you in Jasper. No lady could be luckier, you fool!

The gentleman was older; in his early forties, Adelaide supposed. He was not unhandsome. There was strength in his jaw and a youthful demeanor about him when he laughed at something Leah had said. His dark hair was streaked with gray and his skin had taken on a more rugged quality. However, it was easy to see the striking young man he had once been. And yet… he was not Jasper.

Adelaide thought back to the conversation they’d had, in front of the drawing-room fire. Leah had alluded to the possibility of seeking a “safer wager.” And she had mentioned that her mother was impatient to see her wed to a decent man.

Do not be forced into a lesser match, Adelaide begged silently. Jasper adores you, I am certain of it. You have no need to search elsewhere.

The entire scenario certainly looked like a meeting between potential partners. Her manner was coy and playful, whilst his was proud and somewhat brash. Adelaide could see that he was attempting to impress Leah. He smiled every time he managed it.

What are you doing, you foolish girl?

A vision sparked into her mind—the same gentleman sitting at her family dining table no more than two years previously. It was all coming back to her now. Her mother had thrown a dinner party to celebrate the start of the new London season, and many of the family’s acquaintances had been invited. Most of them were gentlemen, which had led Adelaide to believe the party was merely a ruse for her mother to matchmake.

Sure enough, she had been seated beside a gentleman—the very one who now sat opposite Leah. Lord Alastair McGillivray, if memory served her. A Scottish baron who always spent the season in London, away from his lochs and highlands. He had been pleasant enough, but Adelaide had thought him much too old. She had said as much when he enquired after her age: “Much too young for you, Lord McGillivray.” It had seen her scolded for an hour after the party.

Is that where a ‘safer wager’ has led you? She did not know whether to feel horrified or disgusted, or a mixture of both. Jasper was undoubtedly at home at that very moment, crafting a letter to try and win back Leah’s favor. The notion made Adelaide’s heart plummet like a stone.

They had not parted on the best of terms the previous evening, after what Jasper had said about her selling herself short. She knew he meant well, but the words had still stung. It took time to heal. Now, she felt nothing but sympathy for her dear friend. He was oblivious to this. Truly, she wished she could run home at that very moment and get him to hurry to the tea rooms.

As it happened, she could do nothing. She could not even alert her mother to the fact, for fear of tarnishing Leah’s reputation at the house. Everyone was aware of Jasper’s affections for Miss Green. Lady Leeds would have been equally devastated for him had she discovered Leah conversing so charmingly with another gentleman.

Oh Jasper, why haven’t you just confessed your adoration for her? I know you are a shy, proper, polite gentleman, but how can she know of your feelings if you do not tell her? Sometimes, a man must be bold instead of reserved.

“Shall we go inside, darling? I may catch my death of cold if I stay out here much longer,” Lady Leeds chimed into Adelaide’s thoughts.

Adelaide looked up in alarm. “Not here, Mama. I do so hate the selection of desserts here.”

“You do? I thought you relished in their strawberry parfait?”

“No, no, you are thinking of Bea’s. Their strawberry parfait is divine,” Adelaide corrected, without missing a beat. She did not want to alert her mother to any problem.

“I could have sworn it was St. Martin’s.”

“No, it has always been Bea’s.” It was a blatant lie. Adelaide did not even know if Bea’s sold strawberry parfait. At that moment, her stomach rumbled for a taste of the delicious dessert that St. Martin’s did so well. She realized she would never be able to eat there again. A small price to pay to spare Leah and Jasper.

Lady Leeds burst into sudden laughter, startling Adelaide. “Oh, my darling girl, I am such a prized fool.”

She arched an eyebrow. “You are?”

“I sent word to Lady Phyllis that we should meet outside Montagu House, to look over the exhibits before coming for tea.”

“I knew there had to be a simple solution,” Adelaide replied, forcing a smile onto her face. “Lady Phyllis is never late to anything.”

“Quite right, dear, quite right.” Lady Leeds looped her arm through Adelaide’s, tugging her in the direction of Montagu House. Adelaide let herself be carried away from the tea room, wishing she had never looked through the window. For now, she had no idea what she was going to do.

She did not know if she ought to mention it at all. It did not seem like her place. Then again, Jasper was her oldest and dearest friend. If truth be told, he was her only genuine friend, the one person she could be honest and open with, even if it led to a savage argument. He took her as she was, no airs and graces necessary. And she did the same for him.

A stark realization wormed its way through her veins, sending a shiver of dread up her spine. As much as she wanted to protect him, the fact remained—she could not keep this from him, and he would hate her for it.

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