We both stayed quiet in each other’s arms until our stomachs began to growl. Untangling our limbs from each other, we got up and began preparing dinner. There wasn’t much talk between us, at least, nothing heavy. When I offered wine, she passed. It was probably for the better. She didn’t need alcohol to convince her to do something with me she’d regret in the morning.
Although, I craved being near her body. I couldn’t stop my hands from simple touches while we moved around the kitchen. I may have taken the long way around the island counter so I could run my hand along the small of her back on my way to the refrigerator or oven. She didn’t complain or flinch, only smiled and continued with her task. She even nudged me a few times when I’d walk by.
Now, we were done with dinner, sitting on the porch with the setting sun painting a breathtaking sunset of multiple colors across the skyline.
“I’m going to gain weight if you keep cooking me meals like this,” she sighed, stretching her arms over her head.
“You helped cook tonight. Besides, we had a well-balanced meal.”
She laughed. “Balanced with fat and carbs!”
I smiled at her. “You chopped veggies to go with the pasta. That counts as being healthy.”
“I think the nutrition fades when they’re drenched with butter.”
I shrugged my shoulders, taking our plates and heading back to the kitchen. She didn’t follow me, but stood, walking toward the railing and gazing at the sky. Dropping the dishes into the sink, I found my way back to her, studying her expression. She wasn’t easy to read.
“How did you end up here?” She asked, her brows furrowing.
My back stiffened. “What? In New Zealand?”
She shrugged. “On this lake in the mountains. Is your family nearby?”
Rubbing the back of my neck, I tried to come up with a way to change the subject. I didn’t want to talk about me. She seemed to like me for what she knew. Her opinion of me could change in an instant if she knew who I really was.
“Mum is about a half hour drive north. Dad is lost in the desert.”
She lifted brow. “Lost in the desert?”
I nodded, gripping the railing and stretching my own back now. “Haven’t seen him in a long time.”
She rotated so her elbow was resting on the railing. “I don’t understand.”
Taking a deep breath, I decided to tell her the truth, at least a short version of it. “He’s in the military, overseas.”
She squinted. “Really?”
“Yep.”
She waited for me to give her more information, but I stayed silent.
“What about siblings?”
“Only me.”
She scowled. “You don’t like to talk about your family, do you?”
“Why would you say that?”
She eyed me from head to toe. “You’re wound up tighter than a knitted blanket.”
I straightened from the railing, turning so we were face to face. “Not a whole lot to say. I don’t see them often, if at all.”
Her lips twisted. “We’ve got that in common.”
I frowned. “Maybe you should reach out to them? Now that you’re divorced. Martin was always the problem between you and them, wasn’t he?”
She hugged herself, diverting her gaze back to the setting sun. “They most definitely didn’t like him. I don’t even know if they’re in the same house. It’s been a very long time.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I kept my distance from my mum because I felt guilty, not because she didn’t want me around.
She bit her nail. “I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk to them anyway. How good of people can they be if they be if they disowned their only daughter?”
“True. Good thing we’ve got each other, yeah?” I smiled, wanting to be done discussing our families. She nodded, giving me a grin. Her cheeks were flushed as if she were embarrassed.
I slid my arm around her shoulders and pulled her to my side. She eased into me, hugging my waist and resting her head on my collarbone. It was comforting.
“How often do you see your mom?”
My hand squeezed her bicep. “Hard to say.”
She tried to meet my eyes. “You don’t have to talk about her if it makes you uncomfortable.”
I sighed, clearly doing a terrible job of hiding my unwillingness to talk about my family. “We just aren’t that close is all. She has her own life, and so do I.”
Her head found my chest again, cozying into me. “If that’s all, then why is your heart racing?”
I sucked in my bottom lip, willing my nerves to calm down. I’ve always been able to hide behind my wit or sarcasm, but not with Cora. She was opening up my emotions and unraveling all the things I’d worked so hard to keep from outsiders.
She held me tight. “I’ll stop prodding.”
I let out a breath of air, caging her to my front with my arms. “Thank you,” I whispered into her hair.
***
Cora headed to bed after the sun had gone down, only gazing at the stars while being in each other’s arms for too short of time. I wanted to follow her into bed, tuck her in, or spoon her, but she didn’t ask me to join, so I figured that meant she wanted some distance.
I was the one shutting down on her now, not being able to discuss my fucked up life. The worst part was, it was my fault for the fallout, and I was so screwed up on how to fix it, or if I’d ever be able to.
With the darkness of the night, my paranoia came to its ugly head, and my routine to secure the house began. I grabbed my glock from my closet where it was neatly placed amongst my collection. They were locked in cabinets, the key tucked in the corner behind a shelf near the door.
Shepley stayed inside while I walked around the house, my glock cocked and ready. Not that I thought Cora’s ex-husband would actually have the balls to come out this way, but I didn’t want to risk the chance. I wasn’t afraid of him, but I didn’t want any surprises either.
The moon was bright tonight, making my stake out easier on my eyes. The light was out in the guestroom, and as badly as I wanted to peek inside, I refrained. Looking at her through the glass would scream creeper.
Besides a raccoon moseying through the woods, the perimeter was cleared, and I headed back inside, making my rounds triple checking the doors and sliders, then plopped on the living room couch. With Cora in the house, I was going to refrain from carrying, but my gun brought me peace, and if she wasn’t going to be in my arms, I would keep it within an arm’s reach underneath the couch.
Shepley jumped onto my stomach once I laid on my back, purring loudly in my ear. He always wanted affection at this time of night when I’d turn the tube on and settle in for the evening.
I scratched his neck, arguing with myself on why I should stay out of Cora’s room. She was most likely exhausted mentally and physically. Mentally from all of the heavy conversations we had, and physically from the draining bike ride. She wasn’t used to the rough terrain of New Zealand, and no doubt she’d be sore tomorrow. I could knock on her door and offer her some cream for her soon to be pained muscles, even offer to rub it on for her, so the strong smell won’t be stuck to her hands.
Shepley let out a low grumble as if he were answering my inner thoughts with a big no. I frowned at the pathetic cat who would fall over and off of the side of the couch if I moved my hand from petting between his ears. “I know, I’ll leave her alone,” I mumbled, reaching for the remote and turning on the tele’.