A quick hop in the shower helped wash away my nerves. Meeting Jake face to face was supposed to help calm me, but it only made my insides a big mush of confused. All the feelings I’d pushed away were erupting, ready to pounce.
“Can I help you with anything?” I offered, entering the kitchen. Jake turned, his smile wide. His eyes raked me in, his grin faltering.
He went back to the cutting board, clearing his throat. “No, go ahead and have a seat. You want something to drink?”
I frowned, curious why his demeanor changed when he saw me. Was he appalled by my casual appearance? I tugged on my basic white tank top, shuffling in my comfy cotton shorts. Did I put on a bright colored bra by accident? I glanced down, nope, put on a new, white lacy one that Stephanie demanded I buy. My hair was still wet, but combed through. I wanted to let it air dry before I threw it up into a ponytail. It was so much warmer here than back at home, and keeping it brushed against my neck was uncomfortable.
His hands were covered in ground beef as he nodded toward the fridge. “Help yourself to whatever you’d like.”
I snuck passed him, his delicious smell mixing with the spices he was blending with the burger. “Do you have wine?”
“Of course I do. I did try and prep for your arrival.”
I’d posted about wine many times, including photos of my favorite bottles. Searching the fridge, I yanked out a bottle of white wine. It was the kind that was more buttery. I snagged a beer for Jake on the bottom shelf. He wasn’t a wine drinker, he’d made smart remarks whenever I’d talk about wine.
Standing next to him, I set the beer on the counter so he could see it. “You read my mind,” he sighed, beginning to form patties with the meat. I opened the bottle with the back of my ring for him, tossing the cap in the trash.
His eyes widened. “That was impressive.”
I smiled, but it didn’t match my eyes. “Martin always did that with his wedding ring.”
Jake clamped another chunk of meat together. “That’s not your wedding ring is it? I take it you didn’t approve?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I opened a cabinet, grabbing a wine glass for myself. “No, I gave that gaudy piece of jewelry back to him. I got this at a local farmers market.” I glanced down at the sterling silver ring that had love is never lost inscribed across the center. “I probably shouldn’t have cared as much as I did.”
Jake studied me, his hands slowly massaging the burger. “Has he reached out to you?”
I shook my head. Jake didn’t know about Martin and my arrangement for no contact. He’d have given me hell for not getting a restraining order if he knew what Martin had done to me.
Slapping the last patty on the plate with the others, he took the empty bowl to the sink, soaping it with along with his hands.
“Well, you won’t run into him here,” he grinned, rinsing his hands with the hot water. “And if you did, I’d whisk you away.”
My lip quivered when I tried to replace my frown with a smile.
His own grin faded, his head tilting to the side. His eyes held pity, and I had to look away.
Wiping his hands on a dish towel, he came to me. “You’re still upset, aren’t you?”
I shook my head. “Not how you think.”
“How should I think?”
I glanced at him and sighed. “I’m upset because I didn’t leave him sooner.”
Jake watched for my reaction, a soft smile crossing his lips. “Well, the good thing is, you didn’t lose that many years. You’re still young, you’ve got a lot of assholes to date, if that’s what you’re interested in doing.”
I laughed. “Not interested in assholes.”
“Well, I’ll be on my best behavior. I promise to not stare at your arse when we go bike riding,” he grinned, and my nerves calmed.
“Thank you,” I whispered, wanting to wrap my arms around him.
Reading my mind, he closed the space between us. With a cautious hand, he grabbed my wine glass and set it on the counter, then took my wrist and pulled me to his chest, embracing me tightly.
I inhaled his masculine scent, choking back tears while I nuzzled his chest and hugged his waist. He felt amazing, and for a hug that should have felt awkward and wrong, it was tranquil and healing.
His nose brushed my temple, the coarse stubble on his jaw scraping against my cheek. “It feels so good to hold you,” he murmured.
My eyes pinched closed, my arms, locking around his waist. Did friends hold each other like this? He wasn’t being sexual, but comforting, except I couldn’t help but feel he meant more.
His nose ran into my hair, taking a sharp inhale. Was he breathing in my scent like I was doing to him?
All too soon, he let me go, reaching for his beer and handing me my glass of wine. I smiled at him, not wanting it to be obvious that the absence of his body disappointed me.
He shot me a grin, a sparkle in his eye. “Even if he were vacationing here, you’re in a very secluded place where you won’t run into him.”
I ran my finger along the rim of my wine glass, hoping Jake was right. I doubted Martin would come after me, he hadn’t come to the house when we were only miles apart, why would he bother following me across the world?
Unless, he knew where I ran off to. My chest tightened with the thought. I’d have to stay off of social media and keep my texts limited. Martin gave me space, but his eyes went wild when it came to Jake. I never wanted to see that side of Martin again.
I might not wake up if he got his hands on me.
Jake watched me while he sipped his beer, goading me to look up at him from my empty wine glass. He snaked his arm around my waist, his demeanor changing from friendly to passionate. His broad chest was right there, his delicious scent flooding my nostrils. It was shockingly becoming comforting, even though it had only tickled my nostrils a few times before.
My eyelids fluttered open, meeting his gaze. The brown of his irises were gentle, showing no more pity, but sympathy toward all the bullshit I’d been through. He knew how much Martin had hurt me without me sparing him the nasty details.
I rotated so my back was against the countertop. We were face to face. “Do you need me to move?” I whispered.
He nodded once, wrapping his other arm cautiously around my waist, pulling me closer to him. Our hips were touching, our gazes still locked. If our chests were pressed together, he’d be able to feel my heart drumming wildly in my chest. My nostrils flared slightly to inhale more oxygen, but I couldn’t release a breath. He was so close, staring at me with so much intent.
It was an alpha male stare, one I’d feared in the past, but coming from Jake, my long-time, mysterious friend, it opened a whole new passion inside of me. This closeness was different from the embrace moments ago.
One hand stayed planted on my lower back, while the other opened the drawer behind me, fumbling until he pulled out a corkscrew. His heated stare turned less intense, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Placing the utensil between our chests, he murmured, “I think you might need this.”
I released the breath I’d been holding, shooting him an awkward smile. “That I do. Can’t exactly open it up with my ring.” I waved my hand in front of his face, showing the simple silver.
He reached for it, gently holding my fingertips to examine it. “If it’s not a wedding ring, then why do you wear it on your ring finger?”
My throat was dry. “Maybe I still have hope to find true love.”
Still holding my hand, he brushed the band with his thumb, his gaze leaving the shine of my ring to meet my eyes. They were dark, a heat in the chocolate color that penetrated into my soul.
Peeling my eyes from his, I let out a laugh, but instead of sounding light-hearted, it was breathy and needy. I turned from his hold, planting both my hands on the counter for support, taking another deep breath. What the hell was wrong with me? Was I making this up in my head, or was his gaze daring me to make a move?
Jake’s hand fell from my back when I rotated, reaching for the wine bottle and popping it open. He poured me a glass, waving it in front of me to get my attention. I thanked him when I took it. He reached across from me, grabbing his beer and clinked our glasses together.
“Here’s to a writing retreat with my favorite author,” he grinned, taking a sip, his eyes never leaving mine. The sparkle of desire was still there, mixed with a playful grin hiding behind his bottle.
I couldn’t help but match his smile and take a drink of my wine.
My lady bits were ready to play some serious mind games with my heart.