Chapter Fifteen

 

Anna Witt didn't know what to expect when she walked into the room, but it wasn't what she got.

Detective Meadows sat on the green sofa—the one that he sat on the first day. Anna had always liked that sofa. His hands were balled up into fists, and those fists were jammed under his chin.

He doesn't look like someone who's waiting for a call, and he definitely doesn't look like someone who's just been told where to get Ava.

"What's wrong?"

Nobody responds. In a certain sense, that's good, because when Mitch decides to get a little testy, he can go overboard sometimes. We all make mistakes, and Mitchell is no different. It's not his fault, though. He just… sometimes he loses it a little.

But there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and as long as you try not to make them again, there's nothing wrong with it. It doesn't make you a bad person.

The thing that hurts Anna's position is that she's never getting any better. She's always just an idiot, and always screwing something up. Just like she must have this time, the way that things look in the room.

"Will someone tell me what's wrong?" Anna tries to take a step back in her mind. She's at a nine right now. If she's at a nine… she should leave the room. She should leave, she should do some breathing, and then come back.

But leaving isn't going to help right now. It's only going to create more problems. So she takes a breath. In, one two three, out, two three four. In, two two three… out, two three four.

She's got to stay calm, because no matter what happens next, she's going to be the one who has to deal with it. It's her screw-up, and she's going to be the one who has to deal with it.

Nothing else matters. She takes a breath. Counts. Lets it out. Detective Meadows stands up and walks over. He leans in close to Sherry—Officer Ross.

Then, in spite of all the panic building up in her, the two of them step out into the hall. The door closes, and now Anna's in the lion's den and nobody is there to stop any of it.

She hopes that Mitch won't be too upset with his father there. Mitch's father was always nice. Mitchell looked up to him. There was a lot of pressure to follow in his father's footsteps, and that was what always had him so on-edge.

But he wouldn't want to show that nervousness in front of his father. He wouldn't want to let his frustration out now. Because his father was there.

Mitchell stands up anyways. Maybe she's misjudged the situation. Maybe he's angrier than she thought. Maybe she's misunderstood something. Maybe they all already know it's her fault, and Mitch is just doing what they told him to do.

He turns towards her. She can see in the way he stands, in the set of his shoulders, how angry he is. She can't see his anger on his face, but that only makes it worse.

He's not afraid to show annoyance, or a little frustration. He's not afraid to show when he's only a little upset. The only time he hides his emotions are when he thinks that they might upset someone.

But Anna's used to it. She knows what it looks like. She knows it looks just like this. She's seen him this angry before, but she's never been this upset by it. Because right now, when she's worried about Ava, she doesn't know what to do.

"Anna, what did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything wrong, I promise. I did exactly like I was supposed to."

"You didn't give them the money."

"No, I did. I gave it to them. You can ask Miss Sherry. She was watching, she saw the whole thing. She said I did okay. You'd have been real proud of me."

"They just called, Anna. They said you didn't pay."

An involuntary shudder shoots down Anna's spine. "No, I did. I paid. They were in a black car. They called my name. I put the money—"

She's started crying again. Anna hates it when she cries. Mitch hates it when she cries, too. He always used to say it made him feel bad. She never wanted him to feel bad. It wasn't on purpose, she wasn't trying to make him feel bad on purpose.

"Don't lie to me, Anna. They say you didn't pay. You screwed it up again, didn't you?"

Anna can feel the tears flowing. She tries to make herself small. Tries to be beneath his notice. It works as well as it ever has. She looks over at his father, but Al Queen doesn't seem to be watching this.

She steps back. Into the corner. Her shoulders press first, and then her back rounds into the corner until she can't get any deeper and she can't get any smaller than she already is.

"No, I promise, Mitch, I did it just like I was supposed to. They even said—"

"Who said? That woman out there? Why isn't she here now, huh? Where'd she go?"

"I don't know, they just, they—" the words weren't coming out of her mouth. She could tell she was being incoherent, but she couldn't make it stop. She couldn't fix it, no matter how hard she was trying. She just wanted it to be alright.

"Admit it, Anna. This was too much for you. You screwed it up."

"I'm sorry I messed up, Mitch. I didn't—" A sob escapes her throat, even though she's trying her best not to cry. "I didn't mean to. I did my best."

He takes a deep breath. "I should have just found someone else to take care of this." He slumps his shoulders a little. "Aw, come on. Don't cry."

Where is Detective Meadows? Where is Miss Sherry? Why aren't they here?

"I'm sorry, I'm trying, Mitch. I promise, I'm trying my best."

"You're making me feel bad," Mitch says. Real quiet. He sounds upset. Anna didn't mean to upset him. She knew that was going to happen, if she let herself cry. She should have stopped herself. She shouldn't have been so selfish.

He settles down onto the couch and leans down to pick something up off the ground. Anna rubs at her eyes. She can't keep crying. It's upsetting everyone. It's making Mitch upset. And worse, it's not getting Ava back.

How are they going to, though? How could they get her back, now that she screwed everything up? She was always such a fuck-up. Everything was a big mistake.

She should've known that she couldn't be trusted with something this important. Something this big should be handled by smart people. People who know what they're doing. People with experience fixing problems like this. Not idiots like her.

The door opens. It hits her feet so she moves them. Detective Meadows and Sherry step back through the door. They look tired and unsure. They're probably pretty upset that she screwed things up, too.

The detective sees her first. He kneels down beside her.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

"I'm sorry I screwed everything up. I didn't—" The panic and self-hate that the doctor says she shouldn't let herself wallow in overwhelms her again, and a sob escapes her throat. She catches herself before she starts crying again. "I didn't mean to, I did my best, I'm sorry."

The Detective looks at her like he's not sure what to do. Like he's afraid that if he touches anything she'll break. Is she making him feel bad, too?

Because if there's anything that she doesn't want, it's to make the Detective feel bad. He's the only one who wants to help her, right now.

And without Ava, Anna Witt can't think of what she'd do without someone helping her. So she'd better not upset him.