I made sure the drop cloth was down to protect the floors. I started to tape the top trim but it quickly got annoying. I hoped that maybe I could get Jake to take care of that part while I started painting. I stopped at the grocery store and got everything I could think that a four year old would want to eat and drink. Call it crazy but I was looking forward to my Saturday night with Jake. With Sadie. Painting. Eating pizza. Hoping Sadie would fall asleep on my couch.

Then maybe Jake and I could… you know, have some alone time again.

A chance to talk. And maybe some more.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket, vibrating against my butt.

It was a text from Jake.

Can you talk? Meet me out front.

I walked downstairs and went outside. Jake was already waiting for me. Standing on my second step. Letting me be eye level with him.

Something was wrong.

“Jake, what’s wrong? Is Sadie okay?”

“Everyone is okay,” he said. “I need to talk to you. I sort of messed something up.”

“Okay?”

“A guy I work with, Paul. I forgot that I had made plans. Sort of for tonight.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling a little deflated.

“I, uh, hate to do this, Emily, but I need someone to watch Sadie. So I can go out.”

“Oh,” I said again.

So my night would suddenly be no painting and pizza for two.

I swallowed hard, not wanting to show any emotion.

“I…”

“It’s okay, Jake,” I said. “It’s okay. Not a problem.”

“I said I’d help you paint,” he said. “And I will. I promise. I won’t take back on that. I just… it sort of slipped my mind. Just so much at once here.”

“Of course,” I said. “It’s okay. It’s just paint. I’d be happy to help with Sadie. I actually bought a bunch of stuff for her anyway.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I went to the store. We’ll have fun tonight. I’ll order pizza. Maybe I’ll let her splurge and order a movie on demand. I’m sure she knows how to do that.”

“Be careful with that,” Jake said. “She ordered stuff a few times and I didn’t know. Got the cable bill and…” Jake shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. I’m sorry, Emily.”

“It’s fine,” I said.

I saw the look on his face. Something was wrong. Something was bothering him. Almost like he had a sense of guilt.

I stepped forward and down one step. I was inches from him.

I reached for him. “Jake… are you…”

He stepped back and down to the sidewalk. “Just… I appreciate it, Emily. I’ll make it up to you, okay? I’ll personally paint your upstairs alone.” He reached into his pocket. “Let me take care of everything for tonight. The pizza. The snacks. The movie. Whatever you two want.”

He nodded and all but shoved a bunch of twenties into my face.

I took the money.

Whatever you two want…?

I knew what I wanted.

I wanted Jake.

“I’ll bring Sadie over in a little bit,” he said.

He turned and hurried away.

I looked at the cash in my hand. Then over to his house.

Something hit me.

Did Jake just draw the line for us? That I was solely a neighbor? A babysitter?

* * *

“My stomach is going to explode.”

Sadie dropped the half eaten slice of pizza into the box and let out a groan.

My living room looked like a college party. Food and snacks all around. Drink cups and containers on the table. Everything that you weren’t supposed to do, we had done. Because it was Saturday night. It was time to cut loose. Time to live a little. Of course, getting wild with juice boxes and animal crackers was not the night I had planned.

But it was a good night.

I cleaned up the pizza box and brought a couple blankets into the living room.

I gave Sadie her choice of movies and she picked one.

Six bucks later, we were watching a movie.

As the intro credits played, Sadie pulled a blanket up to her chin and looked up at me.

“Daddy has lights, right?”

“Lights?”

“You said the garage has lights.”

“Oh. Yeah. Right.” I raised an eyebrow. “He said he was working?”

Sadie nodded.

“Well, he might have to work really late. So you could fall asleep here, okay? Like you did before. I’ll be here.”

“Thanks, Emily,” Sadie said so proper.

Ten minutes into the movie I felt Sadie grab for my arm. She slowly put it around her. Before my heart could stop melting, Sadie cuddled against my side. Bo tucked under her chin, her fingers playing with the plush unicorn’s horn. I pulled Sadie close and hugged her as the movie played.

I suddenly wasn’t watching the movie anymore.

I was thinking about Sadie’s mother. Everly. I knew nothing of the woman and the story but I knew some pretty important things. She was beautiful enough to tame Jake’s wild soul. Beautiful enough to catch Jake’s attention and heart. Beautiful enough that she made Sadie so beautiful too. She and Jake had a love that allowed them to buy a house and have a baby. That was a special thing. And it was pretty obvious that whatever actually happened wasn’t something they were ready for.

I caught myself blinking a tear from my eye as Sadie’s eyes started to shut. I sneakily wiped the tear off my cheek. I swallowed the rest down.

A droplet of drool formed in the corner of Sadie’s mouth and fell on Bo. That poor stuffed unicorn had probably been drooled on for years.

I remained in the same position, holding Sadie, letting her drift off to an even deeper sleep. Then I slowly moved from the couch and put her head on a pillow. The scene had a familiar feel to it and I began to wonder again if that’s all I’d be to Sadie and Jake. The neighbor. The babysitter. Not even a friend at this point. Because Jake would have rather gone out with a friend. I didn’t mean to feel the way I did right then, but empty and lonely was all that came to mind. Along with a sense of anger and jealousy.

I walked to the front door and stood there. The porch dark. The street darker. I thought about my grandmother. All those years of wanting to get out of there. Feeling so guilty for that when she was slowly dying. And yet here I was doing the same thing. Except behind me on the couch was a little girl that had a long life to live.

If she needed a friend, I would be there. If she needed a neighbor, I would be there. If she needed a babysitter, I would be there.

And if she needed someone to love her father… I would be there.