DECKER

I had been watching her sleep for two and a half hours now. I wasn’t sure how she would react when she woke to find me here, but I couldn’t stay away. When I had returned to my apartment, I had called Bradley. Andi’s manic reaction to seeing her father’s books on the shelf seemed a little more than just simple grief. I had confessed to Bradley that Andi and I were somewhat involved. He had shouted at me, called me some impressive names that I didn’t know he was capable of saying, and then he had settled down and explained that tomorrow was the one year anniversary of her father’s death. I offered to pay for Bradley to come to New York and kick my own naïve ass. He promptly promised me if I hurt her he would take me up on that offer, but he would also dismember a fairly integral part of my anatomy. I told him I’d rip it off myself before hurting Andi, and he, surprisingly, seemed to believe me. Before the usual consumption of guilt over the upcoming film I was scheduled to star in could consume me, I made a decision. I was quitting porn. I was done, retired, and heading back to college to finish my degree in architecture. Andi meant more to me than any career, money, or prestige could ever buy. I would have emailed my agent right then and there if I wasn’t in such a hurry to get back to Andi. Although my career was as good as done, tomorrow I would make it official by withdrawing from The Bishop’s film and having Michael take me off his books.

After returning to The Book Shelter, Casey had confessed in a whispered conversation that he had spiked Andi’s coffee with a mild sedative, to which I was outraged, but also grateful. She had been so upset, I wouldn’t have even thought about calming her in such away. I sat on the end of the couch, my elbows on my knees, my eyes glued to her peacefully sleeping form. It was almost two in the morning and the apartment was in darkness. Light from the street out front spilled through the windows, casting long shadows across the floor and walls. I barely noticed Andi’s eyes flicker open, but knowing she was suddenly awake had my breath catch in my throat. I was silently praying, hoping she didn’t start yelling at me again and send me packing. I didn’t think I could bring myself to leave her again. She lay perfectly still and quiet for a long time before slowly pushing herself to a sitting position.

“I’ll leave if you want me to, but I really don’t want to. I’m sorry. I fucked up. I shouldn’t have touched that box without checking with you first.” I got it out quickly, before she had a chance to interrupt. Andi took a long breath in and then out before she spoke.

“You must think I’m plumb crazy.”

I smiled. “Well, you do listen to country music.”

Her smile was slight as she glanced around the darkened room, looking a little confused and foggy.

“Wow, I was out for a long time, it feels late.”

“Casey drugged you.” Her gaze snapped back to mine.

“Say again.”

“He put a mild sedative in your coffee.”

Andi huffed indignantly. “That damn queen is going down.” There was no malice or anger in her voice, just affection, even though she was cussing him.

“I spoke to Bradley.” Andi didn’t respond, she simply watched me from the shadows. “I told him about us.” A surprised ‘oh’ came from her. “He threatened to cut my dick off, which I found mildly disturbing. Isn’t that usually a female’s go-to crime against asshole men? He also told me what tomorrow is for you.” I glanced at the clock. “Well, today.”

Andi nodded, her head turning away from me as she glanced out the large front bay windows. I could see her eyes shining with sorrow again.

“I miss him,” she confessed quietly. “He was so distant, so wrapped up in his writing and books that it felt as if he was hardly ever with me, but physically, he was there. I could hug him if I needed to, I could take care of him, I could reach out to him. He was family. He was all I had.” The tears came more freely now and I felt the usual pang of panic as I watched her crumble. I wasn’t real good with tears. When she had broken down the afternoon before, I had panicked and raced next door for Casey and Lionel, knowing they would be able to fix this in a heartbeat.

“Country,” I whispered. “I really need you to tell me what to do here.” She looked up at me, and through her sorrow she still managed to gift me with an are-you-kidding-me arched brow. “Don’t look at me like that. Fuck, I’m not good with crying. I’ve got two brothers for Christ’s sake, and Bradley is as good as a brother so make that three. Women crying out in pleasure, I got that down, crying in sorrow, I’m a fucking mess, baby. What do I do here? Do I put my arm around you or would that be considered tasteless? Do I pat you on the shoulder? Should I make you coffee and drug you like Casey? Ice Cream!” I clicked my fingers as I said it. “I should get you ice cream.” I went to stand and Andi grabbed my hand.

“Cork your pistol, city boy,” she murmured. “Ice cream is for hangovers. If you drug me, I’ll also cut your man bits off. I need to be consoled, not tapped on the shoulder as if you were tapping me into a WWE fight.”

“So, cuddles?” When she nodded, I relaxed. I could do cuddles. And this was obviously a cuddle without wandering hands. I was down with that. A non-sexual, comforting hug. Should I hold her tight, or let her control the hug. Fuck! Maybe I could just cheer her up by going down on her.

“Decker, you’re going to give yourself an aneurism over a damn kug.”

I settled down beside her but halted at the word kug. “What the hell is a kug?”

“You know, a kiss and a hug.” She said it like I was a moron, though I was fairly sure the word didn’t exist in the English vocabulary.

“Kiss and a hug, I can do that.” My eyes automatically dropped to her lips.

“Not a sexy-time kiss, Decker, a kug kiss which means the kiss must fall in the safe zone.”

I was beginning to wonder if the drugs Casey had slipped her had messed with her brain a little. “Country, here in New York we speak English.” I pronounced the word English slowly. She slapped my chest.

“You really suck at this comforting business.” She sniffled with a sigh. I wrapped her in my arms, marveling at how well she fit against me. She was so much smaller and softer, yet her legs, arms, and head all found a perfect place to rest on my body. There was no awkwardness or disjointed irritation as I held her as close as I possibly could, it was perfection. She was made for me, and I was made for her. I turned my head and kissed her temple which earned me a soft sigh.

“Your father wasn’t all you had Andi. You also had and still have Bradley and his family. And now you’ve got me and my family.”

Andi chuckled. “My cousin Mr. Chivalry and the porn star. It sounds like a movie title.”

“Ex-porn star,” I corrected her. “And you’ve got Casey and Lionel too, even though Casey’s recent roofie attempt makes his friendship seem dubious.” I thought Andi might have gone back to sleep when her quiet voice broke the silence.

“Will you help me do something?”

“Anything,” I replied without hesitation.

I followed her downstairs, and when she started tugging on the box with her father’s books in the storage room, I picked them up and followed her back out into the front of the book store. She stood with her hands on her hips, eyeing the large bookshelf right in the front.

“I want them up here, where everyone can see them.” I glanced at the books nervously. I wasn’t sure this was what she really needed. If she opened this box and started losing it again, I would most likely join her. Noting my hesitation, Andi knelt down and grabbed the first three books. With trembling hands, she began to fill an empty space at the end of the shelf. I immediately began helping her.

“Would you mind if I read one of these?” Andi seemed surprised, but her hand lingered on the first book she had slid onto the shelf.

“This was his first published book. It’s called Web of Lies. It’s about a woman who kills her husbands for their life insurance policies.”

I took the book from her. “Oh, good, a happy story,” I said sarcastically. Andi smiled; it wasn’t filled with the same carefree beauty I had witnessed in the last couple of weeks, but her cheeks remained dry as she continued to fill the shelf. Once we had finished, we made our way back upstairs and Andi pulled me into her bed. Instead of jumping her bones like I wanted to, I pulled her back against my chest and enjoyed the simple act of spooning. Her perfect little ass nestled into the valley of my hips earned an instant reaction from my cock. “Sorry,” I whispered. I wasn’t really, but I thought I should say it anyway.

“I’m not. I like to know your body appreciates mine,” Andi answered me.

“You have no idea, Country,” I said, before we both promptly drifted into sleep.

*

“You’ve got an entire wall dedicated to fairytales.”

Andi glanced at me from behind the counter. She wore another of those cute vintage dresses with those boots I really, really loved. Over the top of it all was a little black apron that for some reason had me cranked and ready to combust. Two days had passed since the anniversary of her father’s death. I didn’t attempt anything more than chaste kisses and comforting kugs during that time, and Andi didn’t appear to want or need anything more. Me, on the other hand, or well, my cock was begging for release. And Andi sure didn’t make it easy looking so damn adorable. All I wanted to do was turn her around, bend her over the counter, and fuck her senseless. Unfortunately, the store full of customers probably wouldn’t appreciate my enthusiasm for their local book proprietor. Vanessa from the hair salon across the road was hovering. She wasn’t as handsy as she had been on the last couple of occasions, Andi had apparently marked her territory, but her eyes still lingered with appreciation. I could see that it was stroking Andi’s feathers the wrong way. Wanting to instill her claim of ownership, I leaned over the counter, grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her forward, kissing her in an almost R rated fashion. When I pulled away, the blush in her cheeks made me grin.

“The fairytales, why do you have so many?” I reminded her, pointing to the wall of books at my back.

Andi gave the middle aged woman standing at the counter a shy grin.

“Honey, if I had a man who kissed me like that, I wouldn’t need this.” The woman held up a book, and from the half-naked, bulging male chest on the cover, I assumed it was some sort of romance. Andi took the woman’s money and then turned her attention back to me.

“I like fairytales. Alice in Wonderland is my favorite. When I was a little girl, my dad read it to me repeatedly. I used to fantasize about disappearing down a rabbit hole and finding myself in another universe.”

“And then Johnny Depp went and solidified our fantasies by playing the Mad Hatter,” Vanessa said from beside me.

Andi gave her a wicked smile. “Amen to that, sister.”

The bell on the front door rang and Casey’s sing song voice filled the store. When Andi’s face paled, I turned to see what the hell had her rattled.

“You’re bringing a rat into my damn store?” she screamed.

In Casey’s large hands rested a dog, which I guess did kind of resemble a rat.

Casey rolled his eyes. “This is a Chinese Crested Dog, his name is Ziggy Stardust, and he does not like to be compared to rodents.”

Andi looked doubtful. “He looks like a rat,” she mumbled.

“Oh hush, you big scaredy cat. I’m here for a short black, Ziggy’s favorite.” I’m pretty sure everyone in the store stared at Casey who was fussing over Ziggy like a worried momma. When he glanced up and noticed our shock, he rolled his eyes, again. “Does no one in here have a sense of humor? The coffee is for me,” he said with exasperation. When he went to place Ziggy on the counter, Andi took a small step away from the rodent like dog.

“I’m still pissed at you for drugging me,” she hissed at Casey.

“You’re welcome. I know you would have done the same for me.”

She shook her head with disbelief and turned to make Casey’s coffee. Vanessa was standing too close again.

“Ness, that particular piece of eye candy is officially Andi’s wall shaker, I suggest you keep outside the rub-up zone or else Andi might poison your coffee.”

Vanessa blushed and took a small step away. “Sorry, I guess I just gravitate towards muscle.” She sighed, looking over my body like she wanted to devour me.

“What makes you think I haven’t already poisoned her coffee?” Andi asked.

Vanessa paled slightly before picking up her coffee to go. “I’d never mess with a friend’s man, much less a Texan. You don’t mess with Texas women,” said Vanessa as she made her way out of the store.

“Texas girls, the type of girl you take home to meet your mom then she goes and outdrinks your dad,” sighed Casey.

“What would you know about taking a woman home?” Andi scoffed.

“I took Lionel home to meet my folks, and he’s as good as a woman.” Andi pushed Casey’s coffee across the counter to him, avoiding Ziggy. “So, it’s my birthday in two days and I want to go out. I’ve got four tickets to that new bar they’re opening, Tinsel Town. We’ll have pre-drinks at my place and the cab will pick us up at eight p.m. I don’t need presents, but I do want them.” He exaggerated the words need and want. “Until then...toodles.” Casey stood and walked from the shop like the entitled queen he was.

“Wow, presumptuous much? He drugged me!” Andi spluttered.

“And you would have done the same for him,” I echoed Casey’s words.

“I guess if I had sedatives in my medicine cabinet, I might have considered it.” She sighed. I moved around the counter and grabbed her waist, pulling her close. There were still a few people loitering in the store, but I didn’t care. I kissed her cheek, her nose, and finally her mouth.

“I’ve got to get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Andi nodded, her eyes looking at me with such intense appreciation and need that I couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss her again. My hand fell from her waist and I gave her ass a small squeeze before pulling away. If I stayed, I would end up kicking everyone out of the store and drag her back upstairs. Reluctantly, I climbed into my car and pulled away from the curb. Regardless of my unwillingness to leave her, I was smiling. I was fucking ecstatic. I was going straight home to email The Bishop. When my cell phone rang, I grabbed it without as much as a glance at the screen.

“Deck, it’s Ryder. Karl has done it again.” My good mood collapsed into a pile of steaming dog shit. Karl was a friend, Karl was a mess, and Karl had evidently OD’d, again. “He’s in Bellevue and your mom’s here.” My mom had been the last person to pull him from his coke habit and get him into rehab the last time. She would be pissed.

“I’m on my way.” I sighed. I had tried to convince Karl to quit skin flicks, the easy access to drugs and the over-glorified lifestyle was too tempting for him. When he refused, Ryder had pulled him in to work for Kink Harder, knowing his own strict drug checks would keep him in line. I guess he’d gone looking for work elsewhere and had once again found his vice, cocaine.