Chapter Sixteen
Amy
I cleared my throat as I approached the Frethouse, wishing I could wear at least one of the dresses that I had worn in the past to show off in front of Eric. The problem was, my growing bump was outlined against the stretchy fabric, and that was the last thing I needed to happen.
So, I had to dig out a flowy top and jeans instead, completely out of character for me.
Why did it matter anyway? Eric was the one who had knocked me up in the first place. I wasn’t planning on getting anyone else’s attention anyway.
But there was a small thought in the back of my mind, that he might do something crazy tonight, like propose. After our time together the other night, I had found myself thinking about the future; more specifically, with Eric in the mix. Would it be so bad to have him propose to me? I mean, I loved him. I could deny it all I wanted to, but in the end I would be only lying to myself.
Oh god, what if he did propose tonight? What would I say? I’d had this dream about being the leader of the Horsemen from the time I had understood what my father was involved in, but with Eric and then the pregnancy, it was starting to not be in the plans for the future.
My plans were starting to look more like Eric’s wife and a mom.
Squaring my shoulders, I entered the club. I was Amy Travis, the daughter of Grant Travis, who currently was pissed off about the most recent fire that had been set to a club’s property. The auto shop had gone up in flames the other night; nothing but the shell had been left by the time the fire department had arrived. My father had been nearly off his rocker at the house, throwing things and cursing Grayson Barnes’s name. Tess had done the best she could to calm him down, but I could see the stress was starting to get to him. There were lines of exhaustion on his face, and Tess had mentioned more than once that he was not sleeping at night, afraid that they would attack the house next.
Everyone was armed and security tight as ever, which was why I had to elicit some help to even get out of the house. Hayley had not batted an eye, driving away from the house with me covered up in a blanket on the back seat. It was quite ridiculous, but I was desperate to see Eric.
And now I was here.
The place was packed as I maneuvered my way through the crowd at the door, bypassing the bar with a longing look in its direction. I could only imagine what a good cold beer or glass of wine was going to taste like after about eight months or so.
If I made it that long.
Eric was waiting by the stage, his hands in his pockets, and staring off into space. I stopped and looked at his sexy profile, my heart hammering against my chest wall. He was mine. This man, the one who had stolen my heart, was mine. This was the father of my child, the man I was to be forever linked to.
How did I get so lucky?
A smile crossed my lips, and I walked confidently toward him. If he proposed tonight, I was going to say ‘yes’. It was what I wanted, and not just for the baby growing inside me. I wanted Eric to be the man that grew old with me, that held my hand for no reason whatsoever and gave me the love I had not realized I wanted.
He turned, and my heart stopped in my chest as our eyes connected. I gave him a little wave, and he lifted the corner of his mouth.
“Hey.”
“You been here long?” I asked as I came to stand beside him, attempting not to look so nervous.
He shook his head, his hands still in his pockets. I tried not to let it bother me that he hadn’t touched me yet, finding it odd. Eric was a handsy guy, always had been.
He looked around.
“You want to go outside?”
I smirked.
“I just got here.”
He didn’t return my smile and I felt a small ball of fear grow in my chest. This wasn’t the normal Eric.
“I… we can’t talk in here very well.”
He wanted to talk. That was always the line one delivered right before they broke up with someone. I had used it more times than I cared to count. All of the warm fuzzies from a few moments ago flew out of the window, and a cold frisson of fear replaced it.
“Um, sure.”
He didn’t respond, pushing away from the wall and heading toward the back exit so we wouldn’t have to fight the crowd yet again. I followed him, swallowing against the sudden onslaught of tears. This was not how tonight was supposed to go. I had at least expected a fun night-out, if not a proposal, not this cold shoulder I was getting from the man who had cooked dinner for me and begged me not to leave.
We made it outside, and Eric turned to me, a haunted look in his eyes.
“I wanted to tell you I won’t be around for a few days.”
He wasn’t going to be around? That didn’t make any sense.
“For a few days or forever?”
His gaze narrowed.
“A few days. I will be back, Amy.”
I felt a bubble of laughter well up inside, more from hurt and anger than funny.
“Where are you going?”
He looked away, swallowing hard.
“I… it’s no big deal, alright?”
No big deal? No big deal? First, he was being so secretive that my warning flags were firing off, and now he didn’t want to tell me where he was going?
“So, if it’s no big deal, then tell me.”
Eric looked at me, and I could tell that he was struggling with something inside. His jaw was clenched so tightly that I was surprised I didn’t hear his teeth shattering. This was the first time that he had ever refused to do something, and I felt my heart shatter into a thousand pieces.
He didn’t trust me. God, I wanted to shoot him where he stood! All of my hopes, my dreams, were flying out of the window, and I didn’t know how to stop them.
Or make the hurt stop.
“Why won’t you tell me?” I tried again, grasping at the last bit of hope that was left in me.
His jaw worked before he looked away again.
“I shouldn’t have to tell you everything.”
There it was, that withering flower that had just up and died.
“You know,” I started, my voice flat. “You’re right. We have no holds on each other. You go on and do your thing, and I will do mine.”
“Amy,” he growled, his eyes on me now.
The heat and anger in them were unmistakable, but I didn’t give a shit. He had just broken my heart.
So, I put on a brave face and gave him a saucy smile instead.
“What?”
“Don’t push me.”
I laughed, feeling miserable inside.
“Don’t push you? Eric, darling, I’m not going to do anything with you.”
He grabbed my arm.
“It’s not like that. Shit, don’t make this out into something it’s not.”
I shook him off, walking back toward the club.
“I’m not making it into anything but what’s the truth.”
Maybe I had never really known him to begin with. I had this fantasy painted in my head, but Eric clearly was not the man in that fantasy.
Oh, it hurt!
“The truth is that I still love you, dammit.”
I paused at the door, turning back to look at him with my fake smile in place.
“If you loved me, Eric, you wouldn’t be hiding secrets from me.”
He paled, and I took that moment to get myself inside, my chest already heaving with unshed tears.
How had this gone so unbelievably wrong, and so quickly?
***
“So, care to tell us why we are scarfing down burgers at midnight?”
I picked at my fries, not having the energy to eat, nor the appetite. What I really wanted to do was drown my sorrows, but since alcohol was off the table, greasy fried food was the next best thing.
And to drown in my misery, I had Roxanne, Sydney, and my sister to join me.
I looked at Sydney, who was eyeing me cautiously, and sighed.
“Because I need to eat, okay?”
Hayley giggled, pointing at my untouched burger.
“And are you on an air diet or something? What’s up? What is wrong with you, Amy?”
I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face.
“Fine. I’m pregnant.”
I was going to have to tell them sooner or later anyway.
Roxanne spit out her drink, while Sydney’s eyes widened, and Hayley… well, she was just grinning.
“You’re knocked up?”
I nodded, sitting back against the hard bench. We were at the local diner, nearly deserted at this hour. In another few, it would be crowded with drunk bar-goers, looking for something to soak up the alcohol they had consumed. I had spent many an early morning here doing just that very thing.
“Don’t ask who. I won’t tell.”
“Oh, my god,” Roxanne stated slowly, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “You’re, like, really pregnant? No wonder you’ve been doing all this sneaking around. What the hell are you going to do? I mean, you are going to have a baby, Amy.”
I fiddled with my napkin.
“Well you won’t have to worry about the sneaking around any longer.”
I had no intentions of seeing Eric again. He was being so secretive that all my warning signals were firing, and if I didn’t know any better, I would think that he was cheating on me. Screw the fact that he ‘had business’ that he couldn’t tell me about. That usually meant a few days with some slut that would give him whatever I wasn’t.
Oh God! I had actually thought that he was going to propose! What an idiot I had been!
“I can’t believe it,” Sydney exclaimed, finally finding her voice. “I would have never thought you would be the first. I mean, no offense, Amy. None of us is exactly the parental type, but… well, me and Roxanne are actually in long term relationships.”
That made two of us.
“Yeah, well, I’ve had it confirmed, so yay me.”
There was a baby in there that I would have to take care of, by myself now apparently. I couldn’t even take care of a plant without killing it.
“You don’t sound so excited about it,” Hayley remarked, a note of concern in her voice. “Have you told dad?”
I let out a laugh, thinking of how my father would react to this news.
“No, of course not. And you don’t do it either. I will do it when I’m good and ready.”
Hayley held up her hands mockingly, a panicked look on her face.
“I’m not even starting that conversation. Oh my god, I am going to be an aunt!”
I watched as my little sister got giggly. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all, raising a kid by myself. But as I looked around the table, I realized I wouldn’t be by myself. This was an extension of my family, these women, and I knew they would do anything for me, as I would for them.
“I… this is going to be hard,” I started, wiping my hands on my jeans. “But I hope that I can… well…”
Sydney reached across the table, patting my arm.
“You don’t even have to ask, you know. We will be there every step of the way.”
“Of course, we will, “Roxanne piped up, a soft smile on her face. “Whatever you need. I love babies, especially when I can spoil them and then send them home.”
Hayley bumped shoulders with me.
“And you always have me. I will spoil this kid to no end, and so will mom as soon as you spill the beans. This kid will be so loved.”
Tears sprang to my eyes and I dabbed them away, my heart expanding. After tonight, I needed to know that someone was on my side.
Which brought my thoughts back to Eric. The complete one-eighty he had done earlier that night still had me wondering what had gone wrong between us. Something had happened, and I wished he had told me the truth. The bullshit he had been spouting… that was not the truth.
But now, I guess, none of that mattered. I was on my own. But with my family and friends around me, I would get through this.
Even if my heart wouldn’t.
“Do I need to get Neil on high alert?” Roxanne asked casually. “You know he could pick him off, just like that.”
I shook my head. As much as Eric had broken my heart, I didn’t want him to die. Whatever the reason was for him wanting the space, it was his own business. I couldn’t change his mind, and if he wasn’t willing to tell me what was up, then maybe we shouldn’t have been together in the first place.
I just wished I had figured it out before I had gotten pregnant.
“Well, the offer still stands,” Roxanne said after a moment, reaching across the table to grab my hand. “Don’t worry, Amy. We will get through this together.”
“Yep,” Hayley added, wrapping her arm around my shoulders and laying her head on the closest one. “I’m your sister. Sisters stick together.”
“And I will be here too,” Sydney offered up, touching my arm. “And when the time comes, if you need to tell me who it is so I can arrest him, then I will make it happen.”
“Thanks guys,” I said with a wobbly smile on my face, feeling the love. Sure, I might have lost Eric tonight for whatever reason, but at least I had my friends, my family, to support me through the next few months.
That meant everything.