Clyde

I felt better after talking to Mark. I still felt like he was shying away from me, but I couldn’t blame him. After all, it seemed like at least the twins might have suspected something was going on. Usually I was the one that would consider the consequences when it came to Link and the crew, but this time, I really didn’t care.

We pay our dues. There’s no reason anyone has to know about me and Mark, and there’s no reason it should matter, anyway. That’s what I felt, but I knew it wasn’t how things would work out. Link was in charge for a reason. He kept the crew safe. If he decided it wasn’t safe for us to have relationships, he was probably right.

But I still wasn’t going to stop. I had the taste of Mark on my lips and I was ready for more. If there was one thing I knew, it was how much I’d realized I liked hearing the sounds he made.

“So, did you come up with a plan?” Mark was stirring a pot of boiling water and spaghetti with a wooden chopstick.

I hadn’t been paying attention. I was more preoccupied with watching his hands. I wasn’t sure why they captured my attention so fully, but I found my thoughts wandering toward pretty inappropriate places before Mark interrupted me.

“I did.”

“And?”

I hopped up onto the counter beside him. Mark raised an eyebrow that I mostly ignored. We weren’t supposed to sit on the counters, but I wasn’t worried. Link was downstairs doing something. “I think I have a pretty good idea of how to get in. When I went by yesterday, I noticed the guy drives a pretty flashy car. It’s easy to tell when he’s out.”

“Okay—but what about the cameras? And I’m not exactly up to speed with digital lockpicking.”

“Well, if we’re close enough, we can see him put the code in. There’s also the back door. We could just pop the lock there and go in, alarm or no. We’d get enough time to take what we need before anyone shows up.”

Mark hummed thoughtfully. It was hard to tell what he was thinking. He was kind of hard to read. I wasn’t sure if it was just because Mark was used to keeping things hidden, or if he intentionally wanted to keep his opinion from me.

“What do you think?” I pressed.

Mark bit his bottom lip, brow furrowed as he thought. I was more distracted by those little tells than I should have been. I wanted to pull him over to me and kiss him—forget my problems and the money I needed in favor of relaxing into a warm touch.

He’s going to be dangerous, if you let him. I knew it was a bad sign that I was so willing to forget, when I was with Mark. I had to steel myself and remember that this couldn’t affect what I had to do. The help I needed to give my mother.

“I think Link won’t like it,” Mark finally admitted.

I frowned. That’s not new. “He doesn’t like anything. Especially if it’s further than five miles from here.”

“Well, I mean that I think Link will say it’s too much risk.” Mark sighed and pushed hair away from his face. Some of it fell the wrong way and I started to reach out only to forcibly stop myself. I sat on my hands.

“How would I even make it better, though? I don’t think I can go to him with a box of chocolates to make the deal sweeter,” I said drily. “He doesn’t strike me as the flowers type, either.”

Mark rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. I loved that—the way he seemed to contradict himself. It was good to see the conflict I felt in someone else. Mark didn’t want to think I was funny; that was obvious. But he did and when Mark smiled, he didn’t fight to pretend that it hadn’t happened.

“Why don’t I go down with you? Maybe he’ll listen if there’s two of us. At least you’ll have backup, anyway.” Mark shrugged and started to turn the stove burner off.

“You don’t mind? If he’s unhappy, he’ll take it out on you, too,” I reminded Mark.

That was the last thing I wanted—to drag someone else down with me if I failed. Especially Mark. He’d kept a low profile his entire time with the Rapps, aside from regularly popping locks. He had a future with the crew. A set of skills that made him pretty close to irreplaceable.

I wasn’t like Mark. Sure, I was street-smart and usually pulled off good heists, but anyone could be taught to do those things. I was just a Rapp with seniority. I could be replaced—and if Link let me go, there was definitely no way I’d make the money I needed. I might not even properly survive.

Mark finished draining the pasta and finally turned to face me, completely serious. “I know what I’m doing. I knew when I said I would help you. So, do you want me to come along or not? Because I will.”

This was one of the things I liked about Mark. He might have been slower to act, and his priorities were different, but when he committed, he didn’t waver. I felt like I could count on Mark to stay constant. He wouldn’t change and leave me fighting for direction.

“Yeah. Yes, I want you to come with me.” I couldn’t help my hand as it wandered toward Mark’s wrist. I knew I shouldn’t do any more and it was dangerous to begin with. I just couldn’t help myself. I wanted to touch Mark, just for a moment.

I could feel Mark’s sharp inhale when my hand rested on his. I imagined I could feel his pulse racing under my thumb. The kitchen seemed to disappear around us—I didn’t care about food or the impending conversation with Link.

All I have to do is lean in. Just a little…

“I thought you went out.” I jumped a little to turn and see Eugene suddenly in the doorway, pulling on one arm of a sweater as he approached.

I loved Eugene but at that moment, I really wanted to shove him back out and tell him to go across town for the next few hours. Instead, I moved away from Mark and gritted my teeth.

The only thing that saved the moment was the way Mark blushed, ducking his head as he stared determinedly at the pasta he’d just cooked. “No. We’re going to talk to Link, first.”

“Ah.” Eugene snorted and snatched a noodle from the pot in the sink. “I guess I should get out of the blast radius, before then.”

Mark shrugged and abandoned the pasta in the sink. I figured he cared about as little as I did when it came to food. Our minds were on a bigger task. Anyway, we were only three days from the first of the month. The pantry would be stocked again soon with the money Link would budget from the heists we’d pulled recently, and the car would add a pretty nice sum.

“Ready?” Mark caught my eye and held my gaze. I could hear his silent question as clear as day. Are you ready for what might happen?

This was more than just a simple request. My mother’s life hung in the balance and Link’s approval would mean that the money would be ours much faster. I could get everything in motion and get her out of the shithole she was in.

I was just glad to have Mark. I didn’t think I could do anything without him. It felt amazing to have someone to depend on, for once. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

I led the way to the basement. Every step felt like the ringing of a bell that was ushering me toward death. Calm down. It’s just Link. All you have to do is convince him.

Link wasn’t visible at first. He was standing opposite his desk in the basement, pulling a book down from the shelf in the corner. I froze for a second, unsure whether I should wait or say something, but Link turned before I could decide.

“I thought you had left,” he said, surprised.

Mark grinned and stuck his hands in his pockets. “You know, we’ve been getting that a lot, lately.”

Link snorted. He walked back toward his desk but didn’t sit; instead, he leaned against the top. “So? What’s the story?”

“I’ve got a plan. We would come out with at least three months’ share and—well. It would be pretty good individually, too.”

Link didn’t say anything at first. I worried that he’d shoot me down right then and there, but then I told myself that was unfair. He always listens. Always. “All right,” Link replied. “How?”

“There’s a mansion, off the uptown neighborhoods by the shops. It’s past a hill, so it’s less visible. The woods border it. The security is just a fence and some cameras. So far, I know what the guy drives and when he might be gone. With a few days of watching, we’d have everything down to exact times.”

Mark spoke up. “There aren’t any curtains on the windows. It’ll be easy to see in and out. Plus, the hill gives us time. With a lookout, we could have some warning.”

I held my breath. I expected a sudden answer—hopefully a yes—but Link let the silence last a little too long. I realized he was waiting for more. When we didn’t give it, Link straightened a little and moved away from the desk.

“When you ran from the police the other day, did you hit your head?”

I blinked. “What—”

“I’m trying to understand.” Link sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m trying to understand how you could think this is a good idea. You do realize how much of a risk this is?”

“But—”

“You and Mark are my best earners. You want to risk everything—what happens when you get caught? If you both go, everyone else ends up on the streets.”

I could barely think of a response. I hadn’t expected this much push or that much of a refusal. It’s not that bad. He’s just trying to scare me.

It was working, just a little.

Still, my mom needed me. My hands curled behind my back. “I—”

“I know you want to help.” Link was quieter with his interruption. Maybe he knew how I was feeling or maybe he guessed he needed to back away a little. “I know that. But doing something dangerous to try and work a long-term benefit isn’t going to work. Believe me. If it did, we would have done it before.”

I wanted to argue. I wanted to say that he was wrong—that it could work, if he just let some of the others in the crew help. We didn’t need everyone. We could have just used one other person. This was an opportunity not just for me and my mom, but for the Rapps.

“Okay.” I heard Mark shift behind me—he was probably shocked. I wondered if he was about to fight the decision. I hurried to finish but tried to sound as sorry as I could. “I’m sorry. I just—I thought it might work.”

“I know. I get it.” Link smiled a little and moved to sit in his desk chair. “Don’t worry so much about things that far ahead, all right? If we ever catch a break like that, I’ll let you know. Until then, worry about the next month. We’ll get our chance.”

I nodded and turned to walk back up the stairs. I saw the look on Mark’s face when I did; I knew he wanted to stay behind and say something. I tried to send him a firm stare and hoped he got the message. Mark pressed his lips together and turned on his heel.

I waited until we were upstairs to do anything. I pulled Mark toward his room and he made a startled noise. He came along, though, and stayed silent until I closed the bathroom door. “I’m doing it.”

“What? But—”

“I’m doing it,” I repeated. My heart felt like it wanted to pound out of my chest. I could almost hear my pulse in my ears. I couldn’t tell if it was anger or desperation that was pushing me anymore.

Mark looked more than serious. He seemed tense. “You’re sure this is a good idea? You already told Link about it. What do you think will happen if he finds out you’re ignoring him?”

“He won’t. Not unless someone tells.”

“I won’t,” Mark said firmly. He seemed a little displeased at the thought. “But it’s not just me you have to worry about. Clyde, this is a big heist. We can’t do this and expect no one will notice.”

“They won’t. No one goes that way. No one will know.”

“They’ll notice us sneaking off in that direction. I just—I need to know that you know what might happen. The risk this is.”

“Turn me in, if you have to.” I stared back at Mark.

My heartbeat was definitely thundering, now. I felt the acid of desperation on my tongue. Will he? Is this the line in the sand? Maybe this was where Mark drew the line. He had no reason to care about me or my mother. He could cut his losses now and tell Link. He could save himself and ensure that I didn’t drag him into the mess I was going to make.

Mark’s mouth opened. He shook his head a little and I could see the stunned response in his eyes. “No. No, I’m not going to do that. Not—”

“You could. You can,” I repeated. Except then, my traitorous tongue kept going. “I hope you don’t.”

Mark shook his head. “I won’t. I said—”

“My mother is all I have and I’m all she has.” I kept going, unable to stop now that I’d started. It felt like before, when I’d first told Mark everything. He does something to me and I can’t fight it or him. “If you turn me in, she’s stuck. She lost an eye, Mark. I can’t leave her there. She won’t survive. I just want her to be safe. She deserves to be safe. She can’t help herself and I—”

“I get it.” Mark interrupted, sudden. His hands were on my arms; I could feel the heat of his palms against my skin. Just the simple touch grounded me.

I realized I was nearly out of breath. My racing pulse was starting to slow, either because I’d stopped to take a breath or because Mark was there, quiet but certain. How does he do that? How does he just make everything quiet? I didn’t know how Mark got through to me or why, but at that moment, I appreciated it more than anything else.

“I get it,” Mark said again. “And I want to help. I do. I’m not interested in throwing you or anyone else to the wolves. Okay?”

“You could.” I couldn’t help saying it again. That was what it all came back to, after all. If there was one thing I’d learned, it was that choices were everything. They could send someone to prison. They could destroy a life. “Maybe you should.”

“No. I’m not going to. You have a plan, right? It’ll be okay.”

I wasn’t sure if Mark said it to convince himself or me. Maybe he just wanted to remind me of my own promise. Whatever his reason, I took a deep breath. It’ll be okay. You have a plan.

I had a plan. One that Link had immediately shot down. His refusal didn’t do much to improve my self-confidence, but I didn’t have time to doubt myself. I needed to move quickly. Hesitation and questioning translated to time, and time was money. Money that could help my mom get out of prison.

I didn’t have the luxury of being worried or afraid. I only had one choice—to move forward, quickly, and figure everything out. My mother was counting on me to do it.

“All right,” I finally said. “We’ll do this. It’ll work.”