Chapter Fifteen

Belle

The collar once felt heavy in my hands. It felt like an insult and a burden the first time he gave it to me… or, well, tried to give it to me. Now it was different. After last night, I at least knew he wanted us to continue as Dom/sub when we were home. It wasn’t everything I wanted. Not even close. I wanted the entire fairytale, the hearts and flowers, the romance that rocked the ages. There were these connections I felt with him, these moments that stole my breath away, and that’s what I wanted to keep feeling with him. That’s what I needed to keep having with him. I just wasn’t sure if that was on the table now. But the collar was a start, a promise of a bond and a relationship between us, a promise of everything we could have together.

Something that I’d hated so much only a few weeks ago now brought tears to my eyes. The beauty shone through it from the diamonds adorning it to the beautiful blue sapphires that dotted it as well. My fingers ran over the cool stones, and I was back in the playroom with Drake, back to last night with him pounding into me and filling me with his seed.

I almost wished I wasn’t on the pill.

Crazy though it was, I wanted to see so much together, to have a future and a family. He was slowly and obviously becoming everything I ever wanted.

But it wasn’t enough if all I was to him was a submissive, even a favorite one.

I wanted more.

Sighing, I slipped the collar on my throat and lay back in bed. “God, what am I going to do?”

There was a shrill ring and I groaned, realizing that my Skype was going off. I rushed to the desk and flipped open the computer. I never knew if there could be a possible emergency with Mom. She seemed to be responsive to her new treatments, but I’d seen that before with the chemo. Everything was hopeful and working well until it wasn’t. I was scared this might be the case again. When I answered the call, I tried to hide my frustration when I realized that it was my sister looking back at me. Carol’s calls were becoming more and more short-tempered lately. She was mad that I hadn’t closed the gap on the other fifteen-cents-on-the-dollar in the deal. But there was something else there, something frantic beneath her calls that I couldn’t quite place and wasn’t sure I wanted to.

“I… hey,” I said, trying to be polite.

Carol’s eyes narrowed to slit and when she spoke, her tone was glacial. “What the hell are you wearing?”

My eyes went wide and my hands flew to my neck. Sick realization creeping over me as I felt the cool stones against my palms. Shit, I left the collar on! “I… I can explain.”

Carol shook her head. “Oh, I can put the pieces together for myself. You aren’t exactly discrete. Let’s see, not only have you been fucking your way to a deal with McManus—one that’s still benefitting him more than us—but you’ve been doing it kinky style. Wow, sis, I’m shocked. I honestly didn’t think you had it in you. I thought you were better than that.”

I swallowed hard even as tears poured down my cheeks. “It’s not like that. I mean, I can explain.”

“That you’re the holier than thou one? That you’re Daddy’s little snowflake, but you’ll get down and dirty when it matters? I mean, he thinks you’re not as ruthless as me. That’s why he likes you better.”

“Dad doesn’t like either of us better than the other. Where is this even coming from?’

Carol let out a harsh bark of laughter. “Dad’s always played favorites. Don’t even pretend. He has a favorite, and it’s always been you. For a long time, I thought you deserved it, sis, but you’re acting like a common whore!” She paused and eyed my necklace. “Actually, you’re acting like someone a lot more specialized than that. So I guess props there.”

I tried to take off the collar quickly but my hands were shaking too badly to get a good grip on the clasp. “I’m not a whore!”

“You’re his whore, his little piece on the side. He has a damn dog collar on your neck. It might have diamonds on it, but don’t pretend you’re not sleeping with him to get whatever you want out of the deal.”

“I’m working for us!” I shouted, leaping to my feet. “I’m working for this family. What happened with me and Drake was unexpected.”

“Oh, I’ll say.”

“It was unexpected but it wasn’t part of the deal. I’ve been working my ass off every day at the table to try and get us what we want but you have to admit he has a point. The company’s ruined and even sixty-five cents on the dollar is more than we ever could have hoped for, especially when no other agency can even be bothered to call us back. He’s the only game in town.”

Carol’s face twisted up into a grimace. “I can see you’ve been playing games. You do whatever you have to in order to close the deal, I can see that now. I don’t even care. Dad’s fretting every day over it and Mom’s sick, and you’re off fucking a billionaire and wearing diamonds. I can see how seriously you’re taking everything.”

“I am! Mom’s the only thing I think about.”

“Doesn’t look like it from here,” she said, before turning off the call and leaving me staring at the blank screen.

I cried then, great huge sobs that tore through my insides. I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. I just curled into my bed and cried with the collar still thick around my throat.

***

The dress Mrs. Johnson picked out was gorgeous, a delicate canary yellow silk that dipped low over my breasts and was going to drive Drake mad. It also seemed to complement the sapphires on my collar. Drake had asked that I wear it tonight and, frankly, my hands had been shaking so hard since Carol’s call that even if it was a source of shame for me, I couldn’t get it off. I could have asked Mrs. Johnson, but the last thing I wanted to do was draw more attention to my collar, especially since she’d made such an effort not to mention it at all.

I had to respect the woman’s ability to ignore things.

Maybe she’d seen far too much working for Drake already.

The beach was set up much as it had been that first night. This time, it was a sound system playing romantic violin music on the stretch of private sand and not the live quartet. However, there was a table adorned with silver domed plates and white linens and twinkle lights strung up to light the waves in a haunting glow. Drake stood by the table, a bouquet of roses in hand. He looked delectable in khakis that still managed to hug every muscle in his legs and a loose, white Oxford shirt with its tail blowing in the breeze.

I forced a smile to my face and hoped I hadn’t accidentally started crying again. I’d been doing that on and off since Carol’s call, and I wasn’t even sure when I’d started up again. I probably looked like a raccoon with mascara smeared all over my cheeks.

Drake handed me the bouquet, and my smile grew more genuine. “They’re beautiful.”

He let his hand caress my cheek. “They’re not even close to you.” Then he dropped his hand and touched one of the stones on my collar. “You look so fucking hot in this. Did I tell you that enough last night?”

I set the roses on the table and my shoulders shook. “Thank you.”

Drake frowned and swept me up into his well-muscled arms. I almost wished he’d worn a short-sleeved shirt since I loved his sleeve of tattoos. Maybe I’d see that later…

No, I can’t think like this. I’ve made a mess of everything.

“Something’s wrong,” he said. It wasn’t a question.

I swallowed hard but couldn’t keep from shaking even in his warm grip. “Carol called me on Skype, and I wasn’t thinking. I answered the phone, and she saw my collar. The things she said…”

Drake clenched his jaw for a while, taking deep breaths before he could speak again. “I’ll kill her. I’ll ruin her career, anything that makes you feel better. No one should treat you like that.”

I laughed but it wasn’t a relieved sound, just a bitter one. “Don’t even joke.”

His nostrils flared. “Who said I was fucking joking? I’m completely serious. I can blacklist her in PR forever. She shouldn’t have made you feel bad.”

I shook my head and pulled away from him before sitting down at one of the chairs and shoving my head in my hands. “I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

Drake nodded and sat down beside me, his hand stroking my back. “Then tell me what to do to make it better. I’m a soldier, even now. I strike back. It’s what I do. I have to have plans of attack and plans B and C, too. How can I make this better?”

I looked back up at him, now sure my mascara was everywhere. I was definitely crying hard enough. “Am I a bad person?”

“What? No, Belle. I can honestly say that you’re the best person I know,” he said, his chocolate eyes full of the same warmth they always held for me. “Why would you even say that?”

“Because I’m having fun here. I mean, damn it, I’m having the best time of my life here. I’m supposed to be saving my father’s company, and I’m having sex. My family is back in L.A., worried about their future. I’m negotiating, sure, but I’m also swimming with dolphins and having wild playroom adventures nightly. I’m being a selfish bitch and I know it.”

Drake snorted and then pulled me into his lap. I tried to resist at first, but mostly I just needed the comfort. I needed to feel anything at all.

“You, princess,” he said, stroking my bare arm, “could never be selfish. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You’re the reason that center exists and wildlife is getting saved. You’re the reason I can talk a little about my past, that maybe one day I could forgive myself. You came out here for a raw deal—and we both know it was at first—because you knew your family needed you. How can you possibly believe you’re a bad person, let alone a selfish bitch?”

“Because I wasn’t supposed to enjoy this. I was supposed to keep it all business and not fall for the seduction side of things, but I don’t even know anymore,” I said, looking up into his eyes. “There was something between us the minute we met in that boardroom. There was something there that I didn’t fight once I got to the island. Then you saved me, and I fell so hard that it took my breath away. I can’t be happy though. I don’t deserve it, not when my family is miserable.”

He stroked my hair and I leaned into the gesture, enjoying the feeling of his lightly callused palms against my skin. “You can be happy, too, without ruining your family.”

“Maybe I can’t,” I said. “My mom’s sick, all right? She’s been fighting cancer for a few years and the fact that we’re broke has made it so much harder. That advance you made on the deal helped some, I think. She’s in some experimental therapy and seems better for the first time in months all because we had the money to buy our way into the trials.”

Drake quirked his head at me. “Why didn’t you tell me? All this time? I was always going to sign the deal for eighty cents on the dollar. Truth is that I need to have Maurice on my executive team as much as you need the merger and influx of capital.”

“What?”

“The last head of my charity turned out to be embezzling funds. It’s too embarrassing and damaging to my own image to admit what had happened. I couldn’t let people know that the first charitable foundation I ever ran was turned into a sham through mismanagement. It would devastate my brand to admit it. I wanted Maurice’s name and his experience with management and kids to help turn it all around. But I needed it to look hard, to keep people guessing. If it looked too seamless or too eager, the press would dig and see the mistakes I made. But, Jesus Christ, we’ll settle on all the points you want tonight once we’re back. I don’t want to delay any other treatments your mom can get.”

“I… really?”

He kissed me, his tongue ferocious and firm against my own. “Of course. I wish you’d told me. Fuck, princess, I could have done more these last few weeks, too.”

I snorted and wiped at my eyes. “Maybe we could have been completely honest earlier. I shouldn’t have hidden Mom’s cancer but I didn’t know you well enough before. I was worried you’d use it as leverage. It was before I knew you.”

“And no one is ever allowed to know my mistakes. I didn’t want you to have leverage on me either, but no, the deal gets signed tonight. We’ll get you home to your mother as soon as you need. You’re not selfish; you were just trying to protect your family. Believe me.”

I sighed and stroked his cheek. “I wish I could.”

“Then let me show you,” he said.

He stood up and, carrying me in a fireman’s lift, set me on the sand. “Do you mind making love here, Belle?”

“I… so this isn’t a scene?” I asked, gesturing to my collar.

“No, this is just us. Just you and me. No kinks, no games. I want to make love to you, Belle, just like you deserve,” he said, kissing my cheek. He reached up behind my neck and unclasped the collar, tossing it to the sand beside us. “Just Drake and Belle.” He punctuated that final point by unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it aside as well. The moonlight splayed over his eight pack, highlighting his perfect abs and just hinting at the scar on his hip and side.

“I…”

He took my hand in his and placed it directly over his scar. “This is about us, Belle, and I’m as exposed as I can be. I want you. I don’t just want games or BDSM. I don’t just want you on this island. I want us. So let me make love to you like you deserve.”

Tears stung my eyes, but this time they were tears of joy.

“Please do,” I said, sitting up long enough for him to slip the soft yellow fabric off my body and chuck it next to my collar and clutch.

Drake didn’t move at first as I lay stretched out before him. It was like he was digesting every detail of my body with his eyes. Then he reached down and stroked my soft skin, tracing patterns on my collarbone that only he seemed to know. Leaning down, Drake laved at the hollow pulse point of my neck and then nibbled at my shoulder. Goosebumps pebbled over my shoulder and up my body, a chill sweeping through me that had nothing to do with the hot and humid Bahamian air around us and everything to do with my desire. The salt stung my nose and mixed with his cologne, his natural musk, and even a hint of the garlic-laden dish we didn’t eat. All of it tickled my sense of smell.

His mouth moved lower, littering my chest with what felt like a million kisses before he found my breasts and began to suckle at the right one, his mouth wrapped tightly over it. My clit pulsed with need and it felt like sparks exploding over my skin, tingles shooting over every nerve. I moaned and bucked my hips, desperate to join him.

To really be with him with all artifice stripped from us was like the first time, but now the trust was there, the bridge we hadn’t yet built the night he took my virginity.

He pulled back long enough to shake his head and stroke my hair. “All the best things take time, Belle. I thought you knew that by now.”

“But I want this so badly,” I said.

“I know you do, sweetheart, but let me worship you like the goddess you are,” he said before moving on to kiss a trail down over my stomach, to the hollow of my belly button, and finally stopping to nibble at my hipbone. “God, you taste so wonderful, did you know that?”

Drake continued even lower, his nose nuzzling at the soft apex of down at my mons. “You smell amazing, too.”

I blushed and could feel the heat flare on my cheeks, even if he couldn’t see it. “I’m just me.”

He lifted his head and kissed my lips. “And you’re perfect.”

Drake shifted his position so that he was over me then and nudged my legs apart with his legs, goading me to part them. He didn’t have to try hard to do that, not at all. His bulk was above me, pressing me to the sand so that the little flecks dug into my skin, but I didn’t care about that now. All I wanted was him inside me, to feel his length buried deep against my core.

He slid in slowly at first, teasing me, until I leaned up and nibbled at his shoulder.

“You can go faster. It’s okay.”

“But this should be slow and sweet. I rarely do it that way, so you should take advantage of it, Belle.”

“But I want it however you can give it,” I admitted, laughing a little, despite my earlier mood. “It’s always fast and furious between us, so why would now be any different? I like that, the wild side you bring out in me. I didn’t even know it was there.”

He nodded and thrust deeply until I felt his testicles slap against me. I shuddered at every inch of him buried deep inside my core, my skin feeling like someone had taken those sparklers from the Fourth of July and pressed them against me, igniting a riot of heat and power and fire all over my body.

“Are you sure?” he asked once more. “I can go slow, too.”

I leaned up and kissed him, biting his lip playfully as I pulled away. “Just fuck me, Drake, please.”

He didn’t need to ask again. He pounded into me then, his hips pumping with all their force, his length hitting up against my G-spot over and over again. Digging my heels into the ground, I tried to get purchase in the sand. My fingers passed through the sand, grabbing onto nothing before digging deeper into the wet layer beneath the grains. Blood pounded in my ears, but that noise just blended with the sound of waves crashing on the shore. Still, he continued, the force of his flexing hips making sparks arch over me again and again, driving pleasure from my very core.

I came soon enough, even before he flooded inside of me. It was like fireworks exploding all over me, firing over my skin and bursting behind my eyes.

In the afterglow, I laid there, curled in his arms and laughing.

“What is it?” he asked with humor in his voice.

“I think we forgot about dinner.”

***

Drake

I held her naked body against me for a long time before we both regained enough strength to shove our clothes back on and eat. I’d love to watch Belle eat naked, but she figured it wasn’t exactly hygienic. She was probably right even if her eating with that wrinkled yellow dress on wasn’t nearly as sexy as her biting into lobster and scallops naked. As for me, I had slipped my shirt back on to deal with the cool ocean breeze that, even now, kept blowing my hair into my eyes. But I didn’t feel the need to button it.

It was freeing.

For so long, my clothes—a tank top, a t-shirt, a business suit—were my wall against the world, there to hide my shame and my failure. Now, with Belle, I didn’t give a fuck. She saw me, all of me, and she cared about me anyway.

“I’m serious about what I said. I want to have a life together when we go back to Los Angeles, and I don’t want it to be just about kinky sex.” I grinned and bit into my lobster. “Don’t get me wrong. I love the kink and the sex.”

“Because you’re basically a god at it,” she admitted.

“Oh, you’re no slouch yourself, princess,” I teased. “But this is more to me than that,” I said, reaching out and taking her hand. “This is more to me than games.”

Belle nodded, a twinkle finally returning to those sapphire eyes of hers. “I’m glad. In fact—”

A shrill noise rang out then and we both frowned at her purse.

“Huh, that’s weird. The service is only for other people on my dad’s plan, at least this far out in the Bahamas. It has to be my family.” She went pale. “Oh God, do you think that Carol squealed?”

I balled my hands up at my side. The last thing I gave a fuck about was Carol, especially since she’d left the woman I cared about feeling like shit. I hadn’t been kidding. I’d have ruined any career Carol had a hope of having if Belle let me. I still would. All my princess had to do was say the word.

“Just answer it.”

Belle nodded and turned the call on. “Hey, Dad? She what? You’re at the E.R. now? Oh, my God!” My heart stopped as I watched the pain and fear fall over Belle’s face. The tears started soon after that and her voice wavered on the phone. “Is she going to? Yeah, I’m sure I can be home in about nine hours or less. I don’t think Drake will mind me using his jet.”

“Belle?” I asked, even though I could figure out what was happening. I knew that “oh shit” look well enough. I’d seen it not that well-hidden on commanding officers back in Iraq when things went balls up.

She shook her head and focused on the call. “I’ll be there right away. Love you, Dad. Tell Mom to hang on, please.”

“What’s going on?”

“Mom collapsed. She was rushed to the E.R. and has some brain bleeding that might be a side effect of the treatment she’s on. I have to get home… they’re not even sure…” She burst into tears, and I reached over to hug her. I was shocked when she pulled away. “Don’t.”

“What?” I asked, feeling like a fucking Mack truck had just hit me.

“I can’t. All the pretty words in the world don’t matter. We can’t… I was here when she got sick. I wasn’t working fast enough on the deal. She’s possibly dying in a hospital in California, and I’m here having sex on the beach.” She bolted up to her feet, and I did the same. “I have to go.”

“Of course, you do. My plane can be ready by the time you get to the airport. I’ll come, too.”

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“I said don’t.”

“What?”

She yanked up her purse and hesitated over the collar on the table. “I can’t think around you. I let myself be selfish and focus too much on only what I want. I need to be clearheaded to help Mom, if I even can. I… maybe I was lying to myself this whole time. Maybe you’re just an escape.”

I fisted my hands at my side, and when I replied my voice was low. Dangerous. “So I’m just convenient for you?”

“Maybe. I just make all the wrong choices with you. I thought it was love, but maybe it’s just the first freedom I’ve had in years. I have to go!” she shouted, turning to head back to the house.

The darkness was trying to pull me under. For the first time in weeks, another flashback was haunting me, that pain in Martinez’s eyes as he died in my arms. That was better than my best friend, than Jimmy, who’d already been in pieces due to the IED. For a moment, the humidity of the beach could have been the damn arid desert.

But I fought my way back, clawed my way to the here and now.

Reaching out, I grabbed both of her shoulders but not tightly. I wasn’t going to scare her, never again. “You can go, Belle, but don’t throw away everything we had. We meant something... mean something.”

“I don’t make the right choices when I’m with you.”

“You don’t act like a martyr with me,” I corrected. “You have a choice to live your life, too, or always beat yourself up over things you can’t control. Please, we can help your family together.”

“I can’t. Carol was right,” she said, ducking out of my grasp.

I swallowed and it felt like shattered glass lined my throat. “If that’s how you feel.”

“It’s how it has to be,” she said. Tears streamed down her face, but she was the one doing this to herself. And to us.

To me.

Shaking my head, I picked up the collar and handed it to her. “Take it. It’s yours and it’s worth a lot of money. I should know. You’re free now, Belle, like you wanted. All I ask is you take that to remember me by. Is that too distracting?”

That seemed to shake her out of her spiral just for a minute. She reached up to stroke my cheek, but I stepped out of her grasp. I didn’t need to be blown off by her. She’d said too fucking much already.

“I didn’t mean that.”

“I think you did, Belle. All this time, I bet you thought I was using you, that it was all about not getting too close to the playboy. But we were both wrong, weren’t we? You were using me, and I’m done with it. Goodbye, Belle, and have a good life.”

With that, I turned and headed out to the shore.