Dr. Sparks looked up from his iPad where he’d been typing for the last few minutes. “Your mother is very lucky, Miss Green. Someone is watching over her.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding. “I don’t feel that way. It’s just—it’s really hard to see it right now.”
“Pneumonia and emphysema together are very serious. Given her health, it’s not a total shock to see her take a turn like this.”
We both looked at my mother, who rested in the bed, sleeping thanks to a large cocktail of pain relievers and pure exhaustion. After getting the call over the hospital intercom system, I’d arrived in the room to find her gasping for air as several nurses tried to stabilize her. A scream caught in my throat just as a wave of guilt washed over me. Once again, I’d left her side, and once again, she’d paid for it.
I’ll never do that again. Never.
Despite what my heart might want, I wouldn’t let myself get distracted by Davis Armstrong or anyone else. Mom and I couldn’t afford it; the earlier incident had confirmed it. I needed to keep Davis in the past where he belonged. Even if his kiss had been one of the best moments of my life.
I touched my lips.
No, no, Sam. You don’t have time for love or even lust. Forget him. Davis Armstrong must remain in your past.
I pulled my fingers away from my mouth and focused on Dr. Sparks again. “Okay, what are the next steps?”
“We’ll continue to monitor her closely, but we also have to let this infection run its course. Unfortunately, that’s how pneumonia works. We treat the symptoms, but that’s about all.”
I sighed. “That’s the best you can do?”
“I know this is very stressful for you.” His eyes softened. “I’m sorry I can’t offer more answers than this.”
“The last two times I’ve stepped out of the room, something has happened to her. I feel like I’m not here and…” I rubbed my face with my hand. I was exhausted, but I needed to slough it off. I had to remain focused and committed. She needed me, and I wouldn’t let her down. Family didn’t do that to family. “So, I won’t be leaving anytime soon. Just the way it has to be.”
“I suppose that’s understandable. Have you eaten anything?”
I shook my head.
“Our cafeteria has a wonderful selection. Perhaps you can order something to be delivered. We have a great food service at the hospital. They make a great chicken pot pie.”
“Thanks,” I replied, knowing I wouldn’t do that.
“I do hope you’ll take my suggestion,” Dr. Sparks said. “For now, I’m going to see another patient.” He locked his iPad and walked toward the door. When he got there, he turned around. “Your mother is right where she needs to be. It might not seem like it, but it’s going to be okay.”
“I know,” I replied, but the words sounded hollow and false. No one would have believed I meant them.
I awoke to my mom calling my name. I’d fallen asleep, despite the horrible chair.
“Oh God,” I said as I came back to reality. “Are you okay?” I glanced at my phone and saw it was just after seven. I wonder how long she had been awake.
She tossed me a weak smile. “I’m fine, honey.”
Her voice sounded raspy and hoarse through the oxygen mask. We both knew her comment wasn’t true. In fact, the reality of her situation hung in the air around the room.
“I don’t like that you’re sleeping here.”
“Well, I’m not leaving anytime soon.” I stretched my neck to one side then the other. A crick had formed in the muscles thanks to the odd position I’d been in during the nap. “You need me here, so I’m staying.”
“No, Samantha. You need good, decent sleep, and you’re not getting it in this place.” She waved her right hand, the one attached to the IV. “They’ve got it under control. I’m at the hospital, and that’s exactly where I should be.”
I moved some in the chair, trying to get comfortable, but not taking my eyes off her. Mom might have been right, but that didn’t make me feel much better. “I think I should stay with you, just in case.”
“No, honey.” She shook her head. “Don’t you have work tomorrow, anyway?”
“Yes, but I don’t have to be at Royal Palm until noon. I figured I can stay here overnight, head back to our apartment around ten, shower, and get to work in plenty of time.”
She took a few deep breaths. “I think you should go home and get some sleep. If anything happens to me—”
I held up a hand. “The last time I left, everything went wrong. It was—I’m not going to allow that to happen again. If you need me, I’ll be right in this room.”
“Please, Samantha.” She moved around in the bed until she sat straighter. “I’m not asking you to do this. I’m telling you. You need to take care of yourself too. You’re no good to me if you’re exhausted, and I know you are. Don’t make me order you to go home.” Her jaw tightened. “Just do it, okay? Please.”
We stared at each other, and I knew from her expression she wouldn’t back down. She wanted me to go home, and she’d nag me about it until I did. Stubbornness ran in our family, and she had three times what I did.
“Fine, I’ll go,” I muttered. “But only because I want to please you, not because I want to.”
“You know I’m going to keep insisting you leave until you do.” Mom let out a small laugh. “Like mother, like daughter.”
I stood from the chair and glanced at the clock. She was right. I was operating on fumes and wouldn’t be any use to her if I stayed at this level of exhaustion.
When was the last time I slept for more than a few hours at a time? How can I when I can hear the rattling of my mother’s chest as she tries to breathe? Fuck, I hate this for her. I hate this for us.
All I could hope was she would be monitored closely, and because of that I could possibly sleep peacefully. “As soon as I’m off work tomorrow, I’m coming back.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” she replied, and I heard the triumph in her voice.