Chapter 18
“How many buttons, sir?” the tailor asked, unwinding the tape measure from his shoulders.
“Three, please,” Elias replied.
“What about the trousers?”
“Tapered.”
“Of course, sir. Very smart.”
An hour later, Elias had left his suit fitting feeling a little violated. The tailor had poked and prodded every inch of his body that he should’ve bought the bloke dinner. There was something oddly intimate about a man running his fingers up another man’s inner seam.
Overall, the suit was one more task ticked off his list. There was still so much to do: flowers, cake, honeymoon, groomsmen. In a way, he was grateful that Daisy had taken control over the planning so he could focus on work. It was the only thing that distracted him from thoughts of Ava. Memories of her often came with a side of guilt. At night, as he stared at the ceiling, sleepless, he wondered if he had time to call off the wedding. He loved Daisy, but there was always another woman consuming his thoughts.
Elias wandered the bustling city streets, looking for a bite to eat. The lunchtime crowd occupied the sidewalk like rolling waves, sucking him into the swell. The city offered a smorgasbord of foreign cuisine. The spicy aromas of Indian enticed him. The greasy scent of Chinese food seduced him. But Elias didn’t feel like anything too heavy. He bought a sandwich and walked across the road towards the sun-drenched park. As he sat underneath the large canopy of a fig tree, his mobile vibrated in his pocket. Without looking at the caller ID, he answered, “Elias speaking.”
“It’s me.”
He stilled, his sandwich hovering mid-air. “Ava.” He cleared his throat. “How are you?”
“Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No, I’m just having something to eat actually. How are you?”
“I’ve been better. Can I see you? We need to talk.”
Something about her words froze his tongue to the roof of his mouth. Her emotionless voice set his heart racing. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
“Where are you?” she asked.
“Hyde Park. I’m sitting near the fountain.”
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
“You didn’t answer my question. Are you okay?”
“You’ll see when I get there.” Ava hung up.
Elias couldn’t eat another bite of his sandwich as he waited for Ava. She sounded different on the phone, impassive and emotionless, and he grew concerned over her wellbeing. He couldn’t deny the past month must’ve been hard on her, losing grip of her control over him. He was free from her, but did he want to be?
A woman crossed the park towards him, her hips swaying lazily underneath her floral dress. She wore dark sunglasses and a wide brim hat, shielding locks of copper hair. Elias’s heart quickened as she neared. It was Ava. He hadn’t recognised her thicker waist or the slight slouch of her shoulders.
She embraced him without a greeting, burying her face in the nook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around her, a small part of him grateful to hold her again.
“Are you all right?” he whispered.
“I’ve missed you.”
Unresponsive, he sat down on the bench and waited for her to join him. The air was thick with the sweet scent of her perfume. He bit down the urge to kiss her, to taste her rosebud lips again. Instead, he dug his nails into his palm, diverting the anguish into pain.
“Did you find out if Liam leaked the photos? Is that why you’re here?”
She shook her head. “Liam didn’t do it. I don’t believe he leaked to the press. I couldn’t find anything on his phone or email.” She played with a stray thread on her dress. “Have you checked out Daisy?”
“I haven’t had the time, Ava. In-between my crazy work schedule and organising the wedding, Daisy’s asked me to plan the engagement party. These days, I rarely have time to scratch my own ass.”
“When will the party be?”
“Not sure. Most venues need a six to eight-week notice period. It will probably be mid-year. Why you wanna know?”
“This will be the last time you see me, Elias.” She removed her sunglasses slowly. Her emerald eyes were wide and fearful, tears threatening to fall. “You’ve changed my life. Somehow, you managed to break through this cold exterior of mine. Even Liam couldn’t do that. We may have shared some intimate moments together but it was all an education.”
“Ava, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”
She swallowed hard and diverted her gaze to her stomach, rubbing it with one hand. “I’m pregnant.”
If time had stopped at that very moment, Elias wouldn’t have noticed. His entire body froze, his brain firing synapses as he went into shock. He gulped a breath of air and glanced at Ava, realising his reaction was probably not what she was expecting. Tears streamed down her pale cheeks.
“Say something, please,” she pleaded.
“Is it . . . is it mine?” He forced the words from his lips, frightened of the answer.
She nodded. “Yes.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “What are you going to do?”
“I’ve decided to keep it, if that’s what you mean. Is that okay with you?”
Her question held an accusatory tone which he ignored. Elias swallowed the lump in his throat, his brain trying hard to put the pieces together. All he could think about was Daisy and the impeding heartache that would follow. “How far along are you?”
“Four weeks. Elias, the seminar was a month ago.”
“Are you certain it’s mine? You shared a room with Liam that weekend. Did you sleep with him?”
Ava’s eyes shadowed with hurt. “The baby is yours You’re just scared. That's all.”
“Of course I am!” His booming voice attracted the stares of people picnicking nearby. He tried to reach for Ava, but she rebuffed his grasp. “Ava, I’m sorry. A baby doesn’t fit into the schemes of things right now. I’m getting married.”
“I’m not changing my mind,” she insisted. “I’m keeping it. It may be my last chance to be a mother. Just be glad that I told you now. I could’ve waited until the baby was born.”
“I’m not asking you to change your mind.” Elias was almost whispering now. “I want the best for this child. Now, I have to somehow explain this to Daisy considering I cheated on her.” He cleared his throat. “Have you told anyone else?”
“No, I have no one else, Elias. You’re my entire world.” She shook her head with self-doubt. “God, how did I end up like this? I’m in a high profile, well-paying job with the power to influence others. I have people cowering in fear when I enter the room, but this baby has turned me into a big sap. I am absolutely terrified of the future.”
He took her hands and squeezed them. “It’s normal to feel that way. I want to be a part of the baby’s life, Ava, if you let me.”
“What about Daisy? She and I are bound to bump into each other in the next eight months. I can’t use the Liam card all the time.”
Elias blew out a ball of air. “If I admit this baby is mine, she’ll have the cause to leave me. Our affair will come to light and soon the entire country will hear about it. Daisy isn’t the type of woman to let something slip under the rug, especially with the matters of her heart.”
“It’s probably a good thing you resigned when you did. The media can’t say you quit when you found out about the baby.”
“That’s true but they’ll do the math. I quit the same week we conceived. The press isn’t stupid.”
“What do you want to do?” Ava asked. “I don’t want to add more stress to my life than I already have.”
“Deny it.”
“What?”
“Deny the baby’s father. Plenty of famous women have done it through history. The father’s identity is kept private and the public is none the wiser. We don’t work together anymore and no one has discovered our affair. It might work, Ava.”
“It might. Are you going to tell your mother? She’s having a grandchild after all.”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Does she like Daisy?”
A faint smile hooked the corners of Elias’s lips. “To be honest, she liked you more. I can’t predict how my mother will react when I tell her. I’m sure she’ll keep it private, but family are usually the ones who accidentally leak things to the press.”
“When do you see her next?”
“The engagement party.” He turned to her. “I convinced Daisy to invite you.”
The colour drained from Ava’s face. “Is that a good idea? We were discussing keeping your identity private and now you want to go public. It will be suicide.”
“I never said we’ll go public, Ava. See it as a test. As far as everyone is concerned, you’re just another friend invited to celebrate our engagement.”
“When did you say the party was?”
“In about six weeks. Why?”
“I’ll be ten weeks along by then. I’ll be showing a little bump. People may notice.”
Elias tenderly placed his hand on her belly, stroking it with the pad of his thumb. “I don’t want you to think I’m ashamed of this baby. Because I’m not.”
“It’s not an ideal situation. You’re getting married to another woman and I’m single. Society frowns upon women who have poor judgment of character.”
Elias chuckled. “Ava, this isn’t the 1950s.” He reached over and gently cupped her cheek in his hand. His heart fluttered when she pressed into it. “I’ll be with you every step of the way, I promise. You won’t be alone. Ever.”
~ ~ ~
The drive to Veronica’s house outside of Sydney always took a toll on Ava. It unearthed memories and heartache she had long since buried. She couldn’t remember the last time she saw her mother, years passing since they spoke. Veronica never ventured into the city to visit her, happy to remain in her dust ridden, fifty-year-old cottage. But circumstances had changed so it was time to mend old wounds.
Ava bit her inner cheek as she turned down the main road of Doveport. The small town had remained the same cesspool, unchanging in the last fifteen years. Debilitated brick buildings displayed rotting shop signs and dirty windows. Dogs ate rubbish in the gutters. Old, banged-up cars were parked outside the supermarket. Ava suspected her shiny black Mercedes must’ve looked like a mirage to the locals. Wealth was as rare as employment in Doveport and Ava had been lucky to leave town before the recession. Others weren’t so lucky. Many residents, including Veronica, lost their livelihoods when stores closed down. Ava heard through a friend that her mother worked in a clothing store before it shut down. Due to her stubbornness, Veronica refused to leave town to find another job, so she spent most of her unemployment benefits on cigarettes and alcohol.
Ava drove on until she pulled into her old street. She slowed the car to a crawl, inspecting the old homes she remembered as a child. The same residences still stood, proudly displaying additional levels or renovated structures. Some had been cleared all together, leaving behind vacant lots. She turned the corner and spotted her childhood home cushioned between two brand-new brick mansions. It was an odd sight to see Veronica’s little cottage eclipsed by the monstrosities, particularly since Doveport’s housing market offered nothing for new home buyers.
Ava parked the car and closed the door behind her. The cottage looked smaller now, and more rundown since she last saw it. Overgrown vines curled around the veranda awning and the cobbled pathway was broken and misplaced from underground roots.
The cracked navy paint flaked under the strength of the sun rays.
Ava flicked a tear from her cheek. This wasn’t the house she grew up in. It was a dump, and she dreaded meeting the creature living inside it.
She made her way to the front door and knocked. There was a scrape of chair legs against timber and someone walked to the entrance. Ava barely recognised her own mother as she drew gaze up and down Veronica’s body. Veronica wore a pink dressing gown, emblazoned with a white bunny rabbit on the breast. Her fiery red hair was an unbrushed mess on top of her head. Her green eyes, once as vivid and beautiful as an emerald stone, were lifeless and dull.
“Hello, Mum.”
Her mum’s lips partially opened as if trying to comprehend the well-dressed woman in front of her. “Well, look at that. The prodigal daughter returns.” Her voice was thick and harsh from years of smoking.
“I’m sorry for being here unannounced, but I wanted to see you. I have something to tell you.” She cast a glance over her mother’s shoulder. The hallway was too dark to see anything. “Can I come in?”
Veronica sniffed, studying her daughter with a critical eye. “I guess so. I’m about to sit down for lunch. Have you eaten?”
“I’ve only had coffee.”
A faint sliver of motherly love flashed in her eyes. “Come on then. I’m about to make a sandwich.”
Ava followed her mother inside, sidestepping towering piles of newspapers, random shoes without their partner, loose mail, and boxes of junk. The stench of mothballs and cigarette smoke lingered in the air.
“What would you like on your sandwich?” Veronica asked as she opened the fridge. “I have tomato, ham, cheese, and some salad.” She glanced over her shoulder. “What about a coffee?”
“I don’t need another cup, but a tomato and cheese sandwich sounds lovely.” Ava hung by the dining table, one hand grasping the back of the chair. She couldn’t believe this rundown shack used to be a beautiful Victorian house. Memories of sneaking her old boyfriends down the creaking hallway or reading a book under the frangipani tree in the backyard flooded her mind.
“Please sit down, Ava.” Veronica wobbled to the kitchen bench with the sandwich ingredients and pulled a knife from the block. “Make yourself at home.”
Ava obeyed, carefully shifting aside cigarette trays, tissue boxes, and piles of paper strewn across the table.
“I haven’t had visitors in a long time,” Veronica remarked. “In fact, you were the last person I was expecting to see on my doorstep. I haven’t heard from you in years.”
“I know, I’m sorry for that. Things were rough between us and I had to out of this town, get out of the toxicity. I was suffocating here.”
“You could’ve called me anytime to let me know you were okay.”
“Communication runs both ways, Mum,” Ava replied. “It doesn’t take much to pick up the phone or catch a train into town. I’m only ninety minutes away.”
“It was your decision to turn your back, Ava,” her mother retorted. “You never seemed to fit here. Doveport was always below you. Never good enough for you.”
“Mum, I didn’t come here to fight.”
The corner of Veronica’s lips upturned. “I’m just surprised to see you, that’s all. Are you still working at that publishing joint?”
“I own Blue Tail Media. In fact, I own several businesses. I thought you knew this.”
“I read about the Hayes scandal in the paper. Don’t you think buying Blue Tail was a bad idea? Kinda like flogging a dead horse. There’s no point.” Veronica lowered her sandwich down in front of Ava.
“The point was to save it. I’ve done very well for myself buying failing companies and selling them at a profit. With my help, Blue Tail has regained its reputation and place at the top of the market. I’m very proud of what we’ve accomplished.”
“What kind of money do you make now?” Veronica sat down opposite her, biting off the corner of her sandwich.
Ava chewed at her bottom lip, already anticipating the money questions. While she was happy to lend her mother some cash, Ava had learned over the years that money meant more to Veronica than her own daughter. “Enough to keep me going.”
“You obviously make enough to buy that shiny Mercedes outside.” The distaste in Veronica’s voice dripped from her lips. She reached for a bottle of vodka on the table and poured herself a glass. “How’s Liam these days?”
Ava cleared her throat, trying her hardest to keep her food down. She wasn’t aware that morning sickness could debilitate a woman the entire day. “He’s fine, I guess. I don’t see him every often these days.”
“Do you still sleep with him?” When Ava made a noise of protest, Veronica continued with a hint of triumph. “I remember you couldn’t keep your hands off him when you were divorcing. That’s what Jennifer told me, anyway.”
“You’re friends with Liam’s mother?”
Veronica lifted a shoulder. “We talk now and again on Facebook. I speak to her more than I do with you.”
Ava sighed and tossed her sandwich onto the plate. “Mum, I didn’t come here to fight. I have something to tell you. I hope you’ll remain civil about it.”
“You’re getting married again?”
“No.”
“Are you pregnant?”
Ava smiled weakly as Veronica’s eyes widened. She pushed her plate away, needing the space to slap the table. “I knew it! I thought you looked a bit thicker around the waist. Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No.” Ava’s cheeks flushed red. She couldn’t understand why she felt like a little girl again in her mother’s presence.
“Oh, so you slept with some random bloke and he knocked you up.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Do you know who the father is?”
“I do, but I rather not say.”
Veronica reached across the table for her hands, her face feigning pity. “Honey, I’m your mother. You can tell me anything. To be honest, I’m surprised you weren’t knocked up as a teenager. You used to run around like the town’s bicycle, screwing all the—”
Ava jerked her hands free and pushed her chair back. “I asked you to be civil and your attitude is exactly what I wanted to avoid. You’re my mother. You should be on my side, not belittling me by calling me a slut.”
Veronica stood up and rounded the table towards her. “Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just hard for me to adjust. You turn up on my door eighteen years later with a flashy car and a pregnant belly. You’re carrying my first grandchild. I didn’t mean for any bad blood.”
“There’s always bad blood between us, Mum. From the moment I was born, you and I always butted heads over clothes, makeup, and men. Do you remember stealing my first boyfriend when I was seventeen? From memory, you took him away on the night of our first date and fucked him in my own bed! You couldn’t understand why I didn’t speak to you for a month.” Ava brushed tears from her eyes. “Your attitude towards men imprinted on me like a tattoo. When I became an adult, I used my sexuality like currency. I used my body to get the things I wanted. I bedded men for their money or power and discarded them like trash—just like you used to do. Like mother, like daughter, hey?” She glanced down and stroked her belly lovingly. “But things will change for this baby. I came here to mend fences. I want you to be a part of your grandchild’s life.”
Her mother’s eyes filled with tears when she bought Ava in for an embrace. “I would really love that, Ava. I’m sorry for the way I treated you as a child. It was selfish to put my needs first. When your father left, I lost a piece of myself and I took it out on you. But I won’t be making the same mistakes with my grandbaby.”
The two women clung to each other as they cried, releasing years of built-up anger and pain. Ava had missed having her mother close, someone familiar and constant.
“What would you say about moving in with me?” Ava proposed. “I have a five-bedroom house so I have plenty of space. You can help me raise this baby. I want my mother back in my life again. What do you think?”
Veronica cast her gaze around the cluttered living room and Ava saw sadness bloom in her eyes. “Mum, we can renovate this place and sell it,” she said, taking her hand. “The money can help you rebuild a better life outside of Doveport. This town is eating away at you. I can help you get a job in the city and eventually buy a new house. It will give you a chance to move on.”
“I don’t know if I can do that, Ava.”
“Mum. I want this to work. But in order for us to achieve this, I need to know you’ve changed. I need to know if you are willing to put your past, this house behind you.”
Her mother shook her head with self-doubt. “When you moved away, you created a very successful life. Not many people can do that. Besides, I have so many memories of your childhood in this house.” She stroked her daughter’s cheek. “I’m so happy we were able to reconcile for the baby, but I’m not ready to leave my home.”
Ava knew it would be a tough sell so she propped her handbag on the table and pulled out a key. Pushing it into her mother’s hand, she said, “This is the spare key to my house. You are welcome to stay anytime. There’s still a while before this baby arrives so you have time to think about.” She grabbed her mother’s hand and placed it across her belly. “I need you, Mum. We need you. You’re all we have in this world.”