Chapter 25
Months Later
Elias averted his eyes from the computer screen and rubbed them with the heel of his palm. Outside, the vast cloudless sky was changing from pink to magenta, the sun dipping behind the city skyline. The office was empty and quiet as the last group of employees scattered to enjoy Friday evening. Elias was invited to join them for a beer, but he wasn’t in the mood. He still had a pile of articles to write and advertisers to chase for money. In truth, he wasn’t ready to go home.
He pressed the home button on his phone and an image of Daisy and her pregnant bump lit up the dim office. It took him some time to adjust to Daisy’s pregnancy. Her weird food cravings, mood swings, and weight gain materialised all at once, smashing into him like a tidal wave. Work was the only respite he had from the craziness at home. The wedding was fourteen days away, adding more pressure to his overburdened shoulders. There was so much he could take before his resolve snapped. He tried his best to console Daisy during her hormonal tantrums when she blamed the pregnancy for her vile tempers. He’d accepted this was his life now, but he couldn’t ignore the inner discomfort, an emptiness that nibbled at his conscience. He carried it around day and night, unable to determine what was making him feel ill. In the end, he reasoned it was the secret texts with Ava that contributed to his jitters. They had swapped text messages over the last few months, keeping each other updated on their lives. Elias wasn’t prepared to rid her from his life just because Daisy told him to. They shared a connection that ran deeper than the child inside her.
His phone buzzed when a text came through. It was from Daisy.
Daisy: When will you be home? It’s seven o’clock
Elias: I’m leaving now
Daisy: Can you please pick up the cake for the baby shower tomorrow? I won’t have time
Elias: Yes, Daisy.
Daisy: Thanks. Kisses
Elias pocketed his mobile, turned off his computer and left the office. He walked through his unit door half an hour later cradling a cakebox in one arm and folders and paperwork in the other. The unit was infused with the aroma of stir fry, making his stomach grumble. He heard Daisy singing a pop song in the kitchen. He took a moment to savour this moment as he kicked off his shoes, knowing it would be short-lived. This was the Daisy he grew up with, loved, the Daisy he wanted to settle down with. He would be the first to admit that his affair with Ava had ultimately stripped away Daisy’s innocence and placidity. She wasn’t the same woman anymore.
He entered the kitchen and came up behind her at the stove, wrapping his arms around her swollen middle. She flinched at his touch and backed away, almost dropping the ladle in her hands.
“Elias, you startled me.”
“I thought you heard me coming home,” he argued, bending into the fridge to retrieve a beer. “You never let me touch you anymore.”
Daisy rubbed her hands down her apron and welcomed him with a peck on his cheek. “I don’t intentionally reject your affection, Elias. Sometimes I don’t like to be touched. I just feel weird with this pregnancy. Do you know what I mean?”
“I do, but we haven’t been intimate in two months. How do you think that makes me feel?”
She turned her back on him, returning to the stir fry. “I don’t want to fight.”
“We’re not fighting.” Elias spun her back around, planting two hands on her shoulders. “We’re having a discussion. If you and I going to be married and raise a family together, we need to communicate. The baby isn’t the only reason why you haven’t let me touch you.”
She blew out a breath and wandered into the living room. Elias followed her, perching on the edge of the couch, waiting for what she had to say.
“I’m happy the media interest surrounding you has died down,” she said. “I don’t think I could’ve dealt with the nagging paparazzi or flashing cameras. Particularly since I’m in a delicate position.”
“I’m yesterday’s news now, so I doubt you’ll see my face in the paper again.”
Her fair skin turned a shade darker. “I suspect you will when Ava gives birth. Her pregnancy made national headlines. I gather the birth will too. She’s about due now, isn’t she?”
“Yes, due the same week as our wedding.”
“Oh, how unfortunate you’ll be too busy getting married to attend the birth.”
Gotcha. Daisy never hid her insecurities well, imprinted on her like a tattoo. “I wasn’t going to anyway.” Elias leaned towards her. “Is this why you’re angry at me? Do you think I’m going to leave our wedding day to be with Ava?”
“A girl can only assume, can’t she? Look at your history, Elias. I was always second best in the battle with Ava. My father is half expecting you to run out the door before I even walk down the aisle.”
“Not going to happen.”
“You promise?”
“I’m marrying you, aren’t I? Daisy, you must move past this. Ava and I were a fling—a regrettable fling—and my guilt for hurting you still cuts deep. I’m with you. No one else.”
She smiled. “I know you are but see it from my perspective. You’re unpredictable, babe. I never know what’s going through that head of yours.”
Feeling as though they were spiralling into darker territory, Elias changed the subject by picking up the RSVPs to Daisy’s baby shower. “How many women are you expecting to attend the shower?”
“About thirty or so. I don’t want a large group. I’ve invited people whom I can trust because I don’t want this event leaking to the press. I don’t want more unwanted attention.”
“Do you need me to do anything?”
“No, Mum and I have everything sorted out. She’ll run the last few errands I have so I can attend my next scan mid-week.”
Elias’s eyebrows snapped together. “Hang on. Shouldn’t I be attending the appointment with you?”
“I booked it on Wednesday because it was the only time they had left. It didn’t occur to me that you might be at work.”
“What time is it? I can take the hour off,” Elias insisted. “I would like to go and see our baby.”
An odd expression overcame Daisy’s face and she shook her head, dismissing his suggestion. “I want to go by myself, if that’s okay. I’ll bring home the scan picture if they give me one.”
Elias was welcomed by the familiar jitters in his gut. “I’m the father, Daisy. I deserve to go. Why won’t you let me?”
“I don’t know,” she mumbled, playing with a loose thread on her cardigan. “I can’t put a reason to it. It’s just something I want to do on my own. There’ll be lots more scans to go to. Okay?”
“Is it because it won’t be the first time I’ve attended a scan?” Elias probed. “Does this have to do with Ava?”
Daisy shook her head, causing her loose curls to bounce. “Stop making accusations. Your affair has damaged me, Elias. It’s something I cannot brush underneath the rug. I need time to heal. Of course I’m bitter about the fact you’ve already been to a scan to see your bastard child.” Daisy shot her hand up when he tried to object. “The scan on Wednesday should’ve been your first time.” She stood up and gazed down at him, her eyes watery with tears. “Elias, you must accept that I will forgive you in time. But how can I when you’ll have a child with another woman?” She turned and headed towards the bedroom. “Dinner is ready on the stove. I’m not hungry tonight, so please dish out yourself.”
~ ~ ~
On the morning of the baby shower, Elias drove out of the city to visit his mother. He couldn’t bear being around Daisy after their argument. The more she belittled his past actions, the more he drifted away from her in mind and body, detaching himself from his responsibilities. He needed familiarity and support from someone other than Daisy’s closest circle. He didn’t have friends nearby so he reasoned a coffee with his mother was long overdue.
He parked the car outside a rustic, vegan café and walked in to find Karen nose deep in a newspaper. He squinted his eyes to determine if his face was on the front page or not. She glanced up, saw him standing opposite her and tossed the paper aside. “Oh, my beautiful boy. You’re here.” Karen pulled him into a lung crushing hug. “Look at you. You’re still so handsome.”
“Hi, Mum.”
“Can I get you something? A soy chai latte perhaps?”
He nodded as the waiter approached their table. “Sounds good.” He gave his order and pulled out a chair, observing the potted cacti adorning the table. “I didn’t know you were vegan, Mum.”
“I’m not,” she said, “but I’ve heard fabulous things about this place.” She thumbed over her shoulder. “Did you see the dairy- and egg-free cheesecake out the front? It’s to die for, apparently.”
“We can share a slice.”
Karen picked up the table water and poured two glasses. “So how’s the wedding jitters going? You’re a week away from being a Mr. and a Mrs.”
Elias bit at his bottom lip. He’d always respected his relationship with his mother. He could tell her anything. “I’m having second thoughts about it, actually.”
“What? How come?”
He lifted a shoulder. “I can’t define it, Mum. Daisy isn’t the same woman I fell in love with. She’s bitter and hardened. She doesn’t even want me to go to the scan with her next week. I’m living with a stranger.”
“Honey, she’s been through a trauma. While I don’t condone what you did with that other woman, you have to see from Daisy’s perspective. She’s probably anxious and concerned about the future. There aren’t a lot of women out there who would take back a cheating partner. I must give her credit for it. She must really love you.”
“At first I thought her attitude was due to the pregnancy hormones. But I don’t think it is. It runs deeper than that.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Mum, do you know that Ava is pregnant too?”
“Of course I do. It was hard to ignore her face splashed across every newspaper and trash magazine. I understand that you were close to her. Did she ever disclose who fathered her baby? It’s a big mystery.” A spark of mischief lit up her eyes. “Was it her ex-husband, Liam?”
Elias inhaled slowly, letting his lungs fill up with air. He couldn’t predict how his mum would react about her first grandchild born out of wedlock. She was his last support beam. Without her, everything would crumble on top of him. “Mum, I’m the father of Ava’s baby. She never disclosed my name to the press. She destroyed her reputation in order to save mine.”
Karen’s cheeks drained of colour and she brushed her hand across her face. “Oh, right. How long have you been sleeping with this woman?”
“It was a one-night stand. It was a mistake.”
“You’re damn right, Elias. I didn’t think you were the serial monogamist type.”
Elias let out a long-winded sigh. “How many times do I have to spell it out? I never intended to cheat on Daisy. I had a moment of weakness. Now, I’m being punished for it by you and her.” He inhaled sharply. “In all honesty, I never thought Ava would get pregnant.”
“I didn’t raise you to be ignorant, son. Women can fall pregnant at any time. You had no right to cheat on Daisy. She’s been good to you.” Karen’s face was creased into lines of motherly disapproval. Elias had never seen her look so disappointed before. After a beat, she added, “Was Ava on the pill?”
“Yes,” Elias replied.
“Does Daisy know about the baby?”
“Yes, she does. I don’t know what to do. At the moment, I see no way out.”
Karen reached across the table and squeezed his hands. “There’s always a way out if you truly want it. You must make a decision and you must make it very soon. If you’re having doubts about this wedding, then you should listen to your gut. It never lies.” She sighed. “Elias, I wished you had come to me earlier. We could’ve worked out what to do. When is Ava due?”
“Same week as the wedding.”
“Have you spoken to her recently?”
“We speak once a week. I have to be vigilant so Daisy doesn’t catch me. Last time she called, she told me the baby’s in position so her doctor thinks she’ll go any time. I don’t want to miss the birth, Mum.”
Pity filled Karen’s eyes with tears and she cupped his face in her hands. “Listen to your heart, Elias. Once you’ve signed the dotted line, you’ll be committed to Daisy and her child. Besides, how can you be sure Ava wants to be with you? The last thing I want you to do is make the wrong mistake and miss out on a good future.”
“Mum, I’m being punished for my mistake every day. I feel like I’m being torn down the middle by both women. I don’t want to disappoint either of them. I can’t leave Daisy at the altar wondering what happened.”
“Honey, I wish I had the answers for you. This is a decision you must make on your own. If you believe you’ll have a bright and happy future with Daisy, then I suggest you bury your past with Ava and move on. You have so much to lose if you don’t.”
His mother didn’t give the answer he was hoping for, but Elias knew she was right. When Daisy returned home on Wednesday with the scan of their child, it would make everything real, determined. They would be a family. In the back recess of his mind, shadows of doubt started to grow and he prayed he was making the right choice.