Her words from the other day resounded in his head.
This is who I am. I’m a slut. I sleep with any man, for any reason.
Why would she say that? It was a lie. Nothing but complete bullshit. He knew it was bullshit when she said it because she rarely dated and her personality just didn’t speak that she was a slut. But this. This was beyond bullshit. Unbelievable.
He wanted to turn away, bury his head in the pillow again. But he couldn’t.
Shit, what did he just do?
She still hadn’t answered his question. Why wouldn’t she warn him? He could’ve—should’ve—shit! This was bad.
He brushed his hand across her cheek. She shied away. Which was funny, although no chuckle left his lips. He was buried deep inside her and she was turning away from a light touch to her face.
“Did I hurt you?”
He would die inside if she said yes. In all likelihood, he did. His stomach gurgled in agony. He never wanted to hurt her in any way, especially this way.
“What are you talking about?”
He frowned, then brushed her cheek again. This time she didn’t move away from his touch. “I wasn’t gentle. I’m afraid to move right now in fear I’ll hurt you more. I would’ve never—”
“Never had sex with me if you had known. Well, news flash, I’m just using you.”
He leaned into her face, his lips mere inches from hers. “This isn’t sex. This is so much more. I would’ve never went so fast if I had known. That’s what I was going to say. I wanted you so badly, but I would’ve taken it all slower if I had known. I feel sick inside that I probably hurt you. Why can’t you see how much I care? Why do you hide behind this tough persona with me? Admit it. You care about me. You’re just scared.”
“Emmett…just…shut up. It didn’t hurt. Either get on with it or get off me.”
Her lips spread into a thin line, yet her eyes were thick with torture. He hated seeing that. Instead of her brother putting it there, it was him. She didn’t want to talk? Fine. He wouldn’t talk. Clearly, he wasn’t doing a good enough job showing her with his touch how much he cared about her.
What would she say if he blurted out he loved her? Would she shove him off? He couldn’t believe she hadn’t done that yet.
He pulled out slowly, her eyes round with shock. She thought he was going to walk away. Well, he’d show her. He’d show her just how much he truly cared. With the grace he should’ve shown in the beginning, he pushed back in. His lips were still a breath away from hers. Her face softened. The fear that he wasn’t going anywhere left. Her eyes dilated with pleasure as he repeated the same action. So she wasn’t lying about this. It didn’t hurt. He could see the delight every time he slowly pulled out and back in.
“You’re beautiful.”
A slow pull out, with a sweet thrust in.
“Don’t say that.”
He brushed her lips with a soft kiss.
“You feel so good. I’ve waited forever to have you in my arms.”
“This is just—”
Silencing her words with a hard kiss, he started to move faster. The kissed turn frantic with passion as she met him thrust for thrust. He couldn’t get enough of the way she moved beneath him. He should’ve realized from the beginning all her bravado and talk about sex was just a shield from the truth. He’d never forgive himself for how he started this, but he’d be damn sure it ended with ecstasy.
Her tongue swirled with his as they kept in perfect rhythm together. She was made for him. This moment said everything he needed to know. He never connected this powerfully with a woman. He never would either. Only Deja. Why couldn’t she see that?
Perhaps she did. Perhaps it was her fear holding her back. That had to be the problem. How could he get her to talk?
Never mind that now. He deepened the kiss as deep as it could go, then picked up the pace. She moaned, the beautiful sound telling him just how much she was enjoying it. That’s all that mattered to him.
Her hands, which had been gripping his shoulders, slid down his back, her nails scratching a delicious path. She grabbed a hold of his ass and held on tight as a powerful orgasm attacked her senses. He couldn’t take the pleasure squeezing around him. He couldn’t hold back. He let go and came with her.
He broke the kiss slowly, then rested his head to the side. He rolled slightly, taking her with him, then he stroked a hand down her hair and across her back. Up and down. Smooth skin. Such beauty in his arms.
What did he say now? What did he do? This wasn’t how he expected the night to go. He just meant to make her see how much he cared—with words. And he goes and takes her virginity instead.
Damn! He still couldn’t get over that.
He kissed her neck and then rolled off the bed. “I’ll be right back. Gotta throw the condom away.”
He disposed of the condom quickly and didn’t hesitate to wrap her in his arms as soon as he came back. She didn’t hesitate either, wrapping her sweet naked body to his. He was glad she chose to stay naked. He loved the feeling of being skin to skin with her. He already wanted her again.
Neither spoke. He still didn’t know what to say. Nothing sounded good enough. He didn’t want to argue with her. Not now. Never again. That would be impossible, though. They enjoyed sparring back and forth too much. She looked so beautiful when she got angry.
He waited for her to speak, but he soon felt her body relax. Her breathing became even as she fell asleep. His last thoughts before he drifted off were how he would never walk away from her. She was his. End of story.
♡
Emmett rolled to the side. His hand met coldness where Deja should’ve been lying. Popping his eyes open one at a time, the sight before him confirmed what he feared. She wasn’t in the bed.
Tossing a glance at the clock on her nightstand, he bolted up. Seven thirty in the morning. He never slept that long, or that good. His hand grazed the spot where she should’ve been lying. He wanted to make love to her right now. Although, he wasn’t sure how that would’ve worked out. He only had the one condom in his wallet. He had no idea if she was on the pill. They’d have to talk about that.
Shit. It was probably a conversation they should’ve had before they had sex. Maybe she would’ve confessed she was a virgin. Or maybe she would’ve kicked him out of the house without him getting the chance to hold her in his arms.
Her missing in the bed didn’t bode well. Guess they’d be talking about a few things. Would he be welcome back in her bed? He sure hoped so. He had high hopes he’d be back here soon, tonight if he had his way.
She was a virgin. Twenty-five years old, and a virgin. He was her first. He still had a hard time believing that. She was gorgeous. Her eyes sucked a man in with one tiny glance. He’d seen it plenty of times when they were together in public or a client was in the office. He hated it every single time they looked at her like she was the most beautiful creature on earth. She was his. He wasn’t giving up without the fight of his life. Oh, boy, what a fight it would be. He knew she was going to fight him the entire way. So many secrets she kept hidden from him, and it was about time she started talking to him about it. He knew enough to draw a conclusion that most people assumed the worst about her. A slut? Never.
He was almost thirty. He had a few steady girlfriends. Only one relationship that almost turned into marriage. Then she cheated on him. He shied away from women after that, not trusting his instincts. Not that he was ever suave when it came to interacting with women. Then Deja walked into their lives. He was a goner the first time he laid eyes on her.
Hopping out of bed, he threw on his clothes from last night and headed downstairs. He didn’t hear the shower going, so there wasn’t a need to see if Deja was in the bathroom. He noticed the other two bedroom doors were closed, so Dare was still sleeping. Thank God for that. He didn’t want to run into her brother anytime soon. He had to have seen his truck last night when he came home. Whenever that was. Emmett couldn’t believe he slept so well that he didn’t hear Dare come in. Did he come home last night?
Home? He was already thinking in those terms with her. He didn’t care where he was, where he lived. Wherever Deja was would be his home.
He walked toward the kitchen when he heard shuffling sounds as if someone was rummaging in the cupboards, and nearly made a one-eighty degree turn to walk back out when he saw who it was.
“Did I wake you, Sleeping Beauty?” Dare said with a smirk, mimicking the words Emmett said to him yesterday morning when he knocked on the door.
“Morning, Dare.” Emmett’s heart sunk when he noticed Deja wasn’t in the kitchen. Did she leave the house?
Dare grabbed another cup from the cupboard and started to pour two cups of coffee. “You know, when I said don’t give up on my sister, I didn’t necessarily mean you should sleep with her right away.” He handed one of the mugs to Emmett, his face impassive, yet his lips pressed tightly together.
Emmett was surprised he didn’t throw the hot coffee in his face. He looked pissed. “It wasn’t my intention, it just…sorta happened. Would you like to hit me now?”
Dare bypassed him and sat at the table. “There’s cereal, bagels, or if you’re really hungry, you could make us some bacon and eggs.”
“Is that my punishment instead of a fist to the face? Making you breakfast?” Emmett sat across from him. “Where’s Deja?”
Dare took a sip of coffee before responding. “She left a little bit ago and said she had lots to do in the office. Did you two argue this morning? I kinda expected you to walk out with her.”
“How’d you know I was here?”
Chuckling, Dare raised a brow. “Do I look like an idiot? Your truck is parked outside.”
Emmett rubbed his thumb across the curved handle of the coffee cup, debating what to say. This was her brother. Talking about sex wasn’t the kind of conversation he wanted to have. Did Dare know she was a virgin? Probably not. He couldn’t imagine Deja talking to him about those things. And she wasn’t a virgin anymore. He still couldn’t believe it.
“What’d you do?”
Emmett glanced up from the cup and made himself look Dare in the eye. “I just tried to show her how much I care. I have no idea why she left. She didn’t even wake me up.”
“When we were kids, some of the girls used to tease her that she stuffed her bra because she developed so young. She didn’t have many friends. Neither did I. We were a team. I don’t tell you this shit to make you feel sorry for us. I just need you to know to handle her carefully. My sister acts tough, but she’s far from it. I don’t think you’d intentionally hurt her and I’ll still kill you if you do.”
Emmett grinned, then finally took a sip of his coffee. “That threat’s getting old. Find a new one.” He took a larger gulp of coffee and stood up. “Come on. I normally don’t sleep this late. We have a busy day and I have to run home to shower and change. Are you going to get weird if I sleep over more nights?”
Dare laughed like that was the funniest thing he heard in years. “Dude, she left this morning without waking you up. What makes you think you get to sleep over again?”
“Because I’m not giving up.”
Last night, besides the horrible part where he probably hurt her, was the best night of his life. He wanted to sleep next to her every night. He’d be okay with just sleeping, too. If she didn’t want to make love again, he’d wait until she was ready. She was too important to screw anything up.
Problem was he probably already screwed up.
♡
Deja glanced up when the office door opened. Her heart beat erratically for a second before she realized it was only Sophie. She left this morning, easing out of bed like a snail. She didn’t want to risk waking up Emmett. She slipped out so well, he never even heard the front door close behind her, and she had closed it pretty hard, expecting, or more like wishing, he’d run out of the house and stop her, wondering why she was leaving without a good morning kiss. That didn’t happen. Of course, she could’ve acted a little stronger and woken him up before leaving the bedroom.
Scared. Nothing but a little scaredy cat. They had both fallen asleep last night without talking about anything. She wanted to avoid all talk. She wanted to forget anything ever happened. Except she found it extremely difficult to forget how wonderful it felt to be with Emmett. She wanted to spend the night with him again.
“Hey, Soph. How’s it going?”
Sophie grabbed a chair against the wall and scooted it closer to her desk. “Okay. Just checking on you. I just left the mechanics.”
Ugh. Another conversation Deja didn’t want to have. She was no coward. She reminded herself of that daily. Especially this morning, staring in the mirror for so long, she was surprised her eyes didn’t fall out.
“What’s the damage? I’ll pay you back every cent. It’ll take me some time, though. I hope that’s okay.”
Sophie reached across the table and squeezed Deja’s hand. “I don’t want your money. The insurance is paying for it. It was an accident. The front end was pretty banged up. Too much work for a car that isn’t worth it. Austin’s going to go shopping with me this weekend, well, whenever they get done with building a new corral. Are you coming over to the farm tomorrow to help?”
What a loaded question. Emmett would be there. It was already mid-afternoon. She was surprised he hadn’t stopped by already. She’d been on edge the entire day, waiting for him to walk in. He still hadn’t. If she didn’t speak to him tonight, tomorrow could get awkward. This morning had been awkward with Dare, who didn’t say a word that he knew Emmett was still in the house. She didn’t talk about it either. She really didn’t want to talk to Emmett.
“Is everything okay, Deja? You look far away right now.”
She blinked a few times and then smiled. “I’m fine. I feel horrible about your car. Are you sure the insurance is paying for everything?”
“Yes. Don’t worry about my car. You don’t have to come over tomorrow if you don’t want to.”
“I’ll be there. I know nothing about building a fence, though.” She chuckled to loosen the terror running through her body. It didn’t help one bit.
Sophie smiled. “Me neither. Knowing those McCord men, they won’t let us help anyway. I figured I could make them some pies, lunch, snacks, that sort of thing. You can help me in the kitchen. Eleanor is still visiting family.”
“Perfect. They do like their pie.”
Sophie softly laughed and stood up. “They do. You can ride with us tomorrow, if you’d like.”
Deja figured that was the best plan, otherwise, she’d have to call a cab. “Can I bring Dare?”
“Of course, I’d love to get to know him better. I’m so sorry the fire ever happened and ruined our supper the other night. How’s he settling in?”
“Good. He’s working for Emmett. It’s a load off my shoulders wondering if Dare would find a job. Emmett took that worry away by offering him a job.”
She had accused him of doing it out of selfish reasons. A reason to get in her pants. So wrong of her. She knew better than that. Yet, she didn’t know how to apologize.
“That’s because he’s a wonderful man. He cares about you, Deja. You know that, right?”
Her eyes widened that Sophie would say that. They never talked about things like this. She figured Sophie had an inkling she had feelings for Emmett, but she never brought it to light. Sophie respected her privacy the most, because she was private herself.
“I know you care for him. Austin is the most patient man I have ever met. I have a lot of baggage that still needs sifting through and he just takes every day with the utmost patience. I love him even more for it. I imagine Emmett would do the same.”
“I slept with him last night.”
Did she just blurt that out?
She did. And she felt so much lighter. It had been weighing on her, on her conscience, on her heart.
Instead of looking horrified or shocked, Sophie offered a small smile. “I know.”
“But how?” Did Emmett go blabbing his mouth to Austin, who then told Sophie? Just like high school, spreading the word she was an easy lay. Except this time, she couldn’t dispute it. She’d be the liar if she tried to deny it.
Sophie sat down with a soft chuckle. “Deja, his truck was sitting outside your house. I just kind of figured something finally happened between you two. You’ve both been skirting around your feelings for a long time. I’m so happy you two are together. You make a beautiful couple.”
Deja couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “We’re not together, Sophie.”
A frown marred her delicate features. “I don’t understand. He spent the night. There’s no way Emmett would treat you like a one night stand. He’s not that kind of man. I know he cares about you.”
“I…we…it’s complicated.”
Sophie nodded, letting it go just like that. She knew Deja didn’t want to talk about it. Sophie would never pressure her to talk. She loved Sophie even more for that wonderful trait. She knew talking about things was hard, and when Deja was ready, she’d come talk to her about it. Deja was the same way.
Sophie stood up again, then moved the chair against the wall. “I just wanted to stop by and say hi and tell you about my car, which you’re not to worry about.” She pierced her with a hard stare that meant business. Deja had no intention of making her mad. She wouldn’t worry about the car if she said not to. “Austin and I will pick you and Dare up around eight tomorrow.”
Deja nodded. They said their goodbyes and Sophie was gone soon after. The day dragged on. Deja found the dumbest things to do, afraid to leave. Afraid to go home to an empty house.
It wasn’t empty anymore. Dare was there now. Or was he? Did he still want to leave? Would he hang out with Ethan again? She had no idea. They didn’t talk about things like that. This morning would’ve been a good time to talk. Or not. Emmett was in the house. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She made that abundantly clear when she whisked out of the house without a word goodbye.
Her head jerked up as the office door opened. Her heart froze in her chest as she stared into Emmett’s eyes. He finally came looking for her. What took him so long? Why did he look like he didn’t want to see her, let alone talk to her?
“Did you talk to Taylor yet about that form? He still hasn’t turned it in.”
“We need to talk.”
He waits all day to come see her and that’s the first thing he has to say. She didn’t like how he said it either. He said it so awkwardly, in a tone of voice that suggested she was about to be dumped. Not that he could really dump her. They weren’t in that kind of relationship. He was definitely about to say there wouldn’t be a repeat of last night. Which made her heart hurt even more. She wanted to lay in his arms again. She had felt so safe and loved in his arms.
Love? No. A man like Emmett would never love a woman like her. A thief, a burglar, a slut. Well, the last one was a lie, but still, people believed it about her.
“I’m not sure we have anything to talk about.”
“Really? I thought we’d talk about a few things over dinner. Grab your coat. I made reservations. You work too hard. It’s time to call it a night.”
Her body tingled at his words. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
The corner of his lip turned up in a delicious grin. “I meant to do that last night, but I’m not complaining how it all turned out. After dinner, I plan to explore your body a little more thoroughly than what I did last night.” His grin slowly died. “That’s part of what we need to talk about.”
Her skin prickled with desire at his words, then slowly morphed into terrifying goose bumps. Having sex again was one thing. Talking about last night was entirely something else.
“Take your dinner and shove it. We had sex. End of story.”
He stalked over to her and pulled her into his arms before she could protest. His arms snaked around her body and wrapped her tightly against him. His mouth hovered over hers. “You’re mine. End of story.” His lips silenced any protest she would’ve made. Not that she wanted to. Being in Emmett’s arms was finally finding a real home.