The calm of the water soothes me.
The cold compressing weight as I glide beneath its force is something otherworldly to me.
My lungs burn and tire, begging me for air, but I push myself further until the ache screams and the surface beckons me.
Gasping as I break the surface of the water, the corners of my mouth pulling upward.
The edge of life and death is so powerful; it burns adrenaline into the veins and causes the heart to roar like a beast within its cell.
I swim for the shoreline and already miss the water.
Cold air attacks my skin, akin to tiny spiders biting the exposed flesh. The liquid cascades down my body and leaves a puddle at my feet.
Every morning I swim, but the need to be in the water never wanes. It’s as if I’m searching for something hidden in the fluid depths, but no matter how far I venture, I can never find it.
Taking a deep breath, I scan the water as it ripples in the wake of the humming breeze.
I love this time of the morning; the mist dancing over the lake as the trees sing to each other with the rustle of their leaves.
“You were out here again last night.” A voice startles me.
My head whips to the tree line where Leroy Holst loiters.
Always watching, the sneaky little snake.
“This is private property, Leroy,” I bark.
He begins swaggering toward me, his tall, willowy frame showing he’s still a teen, yet to gain a more proportioned physique like his athletic father.
Picking up a stone and skipping it across the water, he comes too close for comfort, triggering my hands to clench.
“You don’t own the lake, Evi!” He squints his beady stare at me in anger.
Bending down, he picks up another stone, bigger than the last, and lifts his arm to throw. Before he can, I reach up and grab his wrist firmly, adding enough pressure that his gaze snaps to mine, narrowing with every passing heave of his chest.
“Not the lake, but the land you’re standing on right now? Mine.”
He doesn’t know boundaries, and whenever his parents visit their lake house, he always invades my land and privacy.
He has a chip on his shoulder when it comes to me, and I’m not entirely sure why I leave such a bad taste in his mouth.
I’m not really a people person, but that’s why I stay on my own property and don’t seek out his company.
Tugging his arm free and rubbing where my hand just was, he drops the stone at my feet. “Why are you always such a bitch?” he hisses, the spittle spraying over my face.
Disgusting little ass.
“Leroy Holst.” A harsh voice bellows from the clearing that creates a pathway between the Holst’s house and my own.
A man with the same eyes as the boy before me marches toward us.
Dr. Edward Holst—what a handsome man he is—even more so now there are age lines more prominent around his features since the death of their oldest son nearly a year ago.
Daniel Holst was believed to have drowned in the lake but his body was never recovered.
The complexities of the rapid drop in temperature the further you sink from the surface and the depths being so far down with hazards littering the lake floor make it almost impossible to find a body lost to the water. Not knowing exactly where he came off his boat didn’t help the matter, and the fact he wasn’t reported missing until the next day.
They may never have closure.
I know how that feels.
A shiver races through my blood, producing a sprinkle of tiny hairs to rise over my body.
The nippy chill in the air wraps itself around me like a frozen blanket.
“I’m sorry, Evi. Is he being a pest again?” he asks, his footfalls coming to rest beside his son’s.
His gaze bores a hole in the side of Leroy’s cheek.
I offer a small smile, folding my arms and suddenly feeling at a disadvantage being the only one standing in almost nothing and sopping wet to boot.
“Nothing I can’t handle, Edward. You’re here early this year?”
It’s a statement but I pose it as a question.
His stare drags to mine and he smiles tightly, nodding his head.
“Yes, Jacqueline was anxious to get here. She feels closer to Daniel here.” Sadness expands his pupils as they drift to stare out at the lake.
Leroy makes a scoffing sound and glowering in my direction.
“It’s morbid and I don’t see why I have to be here. I’m seventeen, for God’s sake.” He kicks at the shingle beneath his foot.
Turning to his son, Edward grasps his chin between his forefinger and thumb, holding him hostage, his strength and height dominating.
My insides flip and buzz with energy, and shaming arousal pools in my stomach at his performance.
“And yet you act like a seven-year-old. You will be wherever your mother wants you to be. Have some respect.”
Pushing his father’s hand away, Leroy storms off into the trees.
“Sorry you had to witness that. He struggles with his brother’s death and doesn’t know how to deal with it.”
He should see a therapist.
I force myself to look away from the good doctor and scan over the lake surface. The thought of Daniel’s body being out there somewhere doesn’t deter me from swimming in the water.
Daniel was a weak swimmer and shouldn’t have been allowed on the lake by himself, even at nineteen.
He was clumsy and liked to drink while fishing. Idiot.
They dragged the lake but the water is too deep; brush litters the endless depths and the temperature drops so much that bodies, instead of becoming bloated and rising, become frozen and sink. They can take years to show up, if ever.
“Death changes people,” I state.
“I need to go dry off before I freeze.” I give him a slight smile, gesturing down my body to show I’m in just my swimsuit in case he hadn’t noticed.
I’m trying to be as polite as possible, but with the intent of just getting away. I don’t deal well with death and I’m not really good with idle chitchat. That’s why coming here off-season is perfect for me.
That was until the Holst’s began arriving weeks in advance.
He observes me scanning over my attire, which is a plain black one-piece, but it’s cold and my nipples are tenting the fabric.
He hovers at them for a second more than he should when giving me the once over.
Naughty thoughts, Dr. Edward?
Shaking his head, he quickly looks away, embarrassed, and says, “Of course. See you later, Evi,” over his shoulder as he returns to his house.
The arousal from earlier reignites inside me, causing an ache I need to relieve.
Racing up to the house, I strip from my wet suit, peeling it down my sticky, moist body.
The air is warm in here and skips over my skin like warm kisses.
Dropping onto the sofa I lift my feet, placing them on the coffee table spreading them and letting my hands stroke down to my exposed pussy, parting the lips and teasing my clit.
Dr. Edward’s gaze fixated at my nipples earlier plays over and over, bringing me to climax.
With the release comes the shame, and I want to go wash off the sins in the lake; purify myself. Instead, I get to my feet and grab my swimsuit from the pile I left it in. There’s a small puddle seeping into the wood floor, distorting the color, and I become fixated.
Blood. So much blood, pooling like spilt milk.
The phone shrills and I startle, pulling my care from the water mess.
I check the caller ID and pick up and place it straight back down.
I’ve been getting ghost calls from an unknown number for a couple of weeks now. No one ever speaks but I hear the breathing and my own voice saying “Hello” crackle down the line.
Hanging my swimsuit over an airer to dry, I make my way to the shower and blast it as hot as it will go.
The steam fills the room and hides the glow of my self-inflicted pleasure as I wash away the disgrace under the raining heat.