Zane
Asa and I’s next “appointment” with Sasha was scheduled the day before the tournament. We arrived around the same time, both still on edge after our last session. I hadn’t seen Asa all week, which probably had as much to do with me not going out to the bars at night as it did her staying away from the pool hall during the day. The argument could be made that our first appointment had gone horribly, but her actions spoke a different story. Something had changed in her. It was an almost imperceptible change, but it was there. Because I could tell she had thought about our last conversation and Asa didn’t take the time to think about anything.
We greeted each other solemnly at Sasha’s front steps. She kept her nose in the air, visibly still upset with me, but I ignored it. Sasha opened the door and welcomed us inside, this time wearing a form flattering knee length crisp black dress. It took all my self-control not to gobble her up with my eyes. I knew Asa would notice.
We followed Sasha down into the basement and took our seats on opposite sides of the couch. My gaze lingered on the desk at the other end of the room, and suddenly my pants felt tight. I started thinking about Asa and how the next hour of my life was going to play out and my bulge softened.
“How have things been this week?” Sasha asked, settling into the chair across from us. I smirked. She knew exactly how things had been this week. She knew that I’d spent more time fucking her than even thinking about Asa. But we all had our parts to play here.
“I’ve been feeling very neglected,” Asa said. She put her hand on her flat tummy and looked at Sasha sadly. “I’m carrying his child, and he hasn’t so much as called to see how I’m doing.
Sasha turned her cool gaze to me. “Why is that, Zane?”
I looked at Asa. “If the baby is mine, I’ll take care of it. But I’m sure that it’s not.”
“So you’ll just hang around and wait for a paternity test?” Asa asked, eyes narrowing at him.
I sighed. “Asa, this isn’t the Maury show. We aren’t here to talk about who’s baby it is.”
Sasha nodded and leaned back, her clipboard resting in her lap. “Zane’s right. You two have some problems that need to be worked out before you can even think of raising a child together. I think we made some good progress last session—I’d like to continue on that train.”
I tried not to smile. She was so damn good at this. Admittedly, I got a kick out of seeing her do her thing. Watching the wheels turn in her head as she garnered things about us that no other person ever had. I felt very exposed to Sasha, but I didn’t dislike it. In fact, it felt kind of good.
And she looked hot as fuck in that dress.
“What do you want me to say?” Asa grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Let’s start with why your relationship didn’t work before. Remind me, who ended it?”
I shifted. “I did.”
I thought Sasha was going to ask me why, but she turned back to Asa. “Why do you think Zane ended your relationship?” she asked.
Asa sat forward. “Because he’s a prick. He got scared of how real things were between us.”
I admired how Sasha could keep a completely clean and straight face. She didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that the woman across from her was placing a false claim on me. I would have been fuming if another guy so much as looked at Sasha. But she was so cool and collected.
“I’m sensing you feel there was a deep bond between you.”
Asa nodded. “We were always really close. He just got scared one day and ended things. Didn’t even fight for what we had.”
Inside, I boiled. That wasn’t how it was at all. She was a goddamned liar. Or a fool.
As if sensing my rage, Sasha turned her calm face to mine. “From your perspective, Zane, is that how the events played out?”
I shook my head. I should have looked at Asa, but I felt compelled to explain things to Sasha. “We never actually got along on a personality level,” I said. “What Asa and I had was pure sex. It was the only language we both spoke. We fought constantly, and both of us were unhappy.”
“You threw me away like trash!” Asa stormed. When I turned to her, her fists were balled at her sides, and her beautiful eyes were like crashing waves. “You made me cry in the middle of your club and walked away without so much as a backward glance.”
It was a simplification of what had happened that day, but I’d never thought to look at it from her perspective. “You didn’t care about me either.”
“I cared about myself.” Her voice was quieter now, hoarse. It looked like she was biting back tears. “And you treated me like shit.”
I stilled. I could feel Sasha’s eyes on me like a hawk, studying my expression. I didn’t know what she saw, but I knew what I was feeling: shame. Because I had treated Asa like shit. I hadn’t realized it at the time because I was so caught up in how unhappy I was and how crazy she acted. I completely forgot that she was a human being, just like every other person on the face of the earth.
“I treated you like shit,” I admitted. “I shouldn’t have, but I did.”
Sasha was silent. She must have been processing everything.
“I’m sorry, Asa. I should have told you that before.”
Asa’s eyes were brimming with tears, but her expression was still hard. “You can make it up to me by marrying me and raising this baby with me.”
It took all my power not to groan out loud. Sasha saved me from having to ruin the apology by saying some nasty things to Asa.
“I think that’s good for today,” she said. “I know we’re a bit early, but I think it’s best if we all take some time to consider everything that’s been said today.”
I looked at her and saw she needed some time too. Sometimes it was exhilarating having Sasha get to know me like this. Other times it wasn’t. I only hoped I hadn’t completely scared her away with everything I’d just admitted.
I walked Asa out and saw her off, then went back into the house to see Sasha. She looked surprised to see me when I re-entered.
“I figured you’d want some time,” she said. She was in her pajamas, a blue cotton t-shirt and a pair of shorts with little hearts on them. I’d found her in the basement, typing notes on her laptop. She’d started using the space as a home office for completing her thesis, she’d told me.
“I don’t need any time,” I said. “What happened between Asa and I feels like so long ago that I barely remember it.”
She closed her laptop and inclined her head up at me. “I meant time to think about what you learned today about Asa. About yourself.”
I chuckled, turning over to the couch and sinking back into it. She stepped around the desk and followed me, but curled up beside me instead of taking the chair across from me. I put my arm around her and pulled her close into my side.
“I wanted to talk to you about it. I’ve made all the peace I need to make,” I murmured, stroking her arm.
She looked up at me, eyes so full of innocence and trust that it felt like a blow to the head. “You didn’t realize how poorly you’d treated Asa until today.” Not a question.
“I guess I didn’t realize that she had feelings under all the thorns.” I shrugged. “Life is all about learning these things.” I pulled her tighter. Her body was warm and soft against mine. “I want to know how you feel after today’s discussion.”
“If I’m worried?” She relaxed down a little, flipping onto her back so her head was on my lap and her face looked up at mine. “I trust you have the best intentions, but you’re a human all the same. I don’t think you meant to hurt her like that.”
There was something more to her words. “But?”
She smiled. “But I think because of how it ended, you need to help her to get her closure.”
I scowled. “How is that my responsibility? She’s a grown woman.”
Sasha reached up and touched the stubble on my chin, caressing me gently. “She’s broken. You helped break her.” Oddly enough, there was no accusation in her tone. She wasn’t angry at me. She wasn’t disappointed in me. This woman truly did accept me.
“Aren’t you supposed to want me to stay far away from my ex?” I asked wryly.
She snorted, dropping her hand back down and sticking her tongue out at me. “Maybe as your current squeeze I am. But as your therapist, I think you guys have some shit to clear up before either of you can move on. Why else would this all be happening now?”
“My current squeeze?” I asked, squeezing her for emphasis.
She giggled. “Whatever you want to call it. I don’t think it can be said quite yet that I’m your girlfriend.”
“You’re not my therapist either,” I said, quirking a brow at her.
She shrugged against me. “I defy definition. I am infinite.”
I chuckled and silenced her with a kiss. She defied definition alright. But she’d have a few titles when all of this was over. For now, she was one thing.
Mine.
There were more truths in Asa’s attack on me than just the personal ones. Things were a mess in my club. I’d spent so much time dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s of the paperwork, keeping everything well and legal, that I’d neglected the people that made the Iron Reapers a club in the first place.
I sensed there was a faction growing among my guys that were becoming restless, and other clubs had noticed. I reassured everyone that things were in a transition period, and that changes would be made for the better soon. We’d have more profits, more power, and fewer restrictions. But that didn’t stop the grumblings on the ground. I’d even heard a rumor that one of the other clubs—though I didn’t know which one—would be making a power grab before long. And what a better place to do so than the billiards competition today? In order to get the reins of the Iron Reapers, I’d need to be taken out. Maybe not killed, but certainly maimed. And in the chaos, they would snatch up my territory, sink my business, and bring all my unhappy guys to their side.
And right now, there were a few unhappy guys who might welcome such a coup.
I’d divided up my guys between the event and the clubhouse. I’d considered only involving those whom I knew to be loyal, but I thought that itself might cause more discord. I needed everyone on my side for this.
The event was hosted at one of the more prestigious billiards halls downtown, close to the French Quarter. Though patrons hadn’t been permitted to smoke inside for years now, the interior still had a smoky quality to it that seemed to dull the ambient noise. They’d cleared large areas around the tables for the competitors, but a select few VIPs were allowed to roost up by the table—including my girl, Sasha.
It made me so proud to have all the other guys see her with me. And I both loved and hated the looks the other guys were giving her. The ones from the Iron Reapers knew better than to ogle my girl, though they hadn’t met her yet. The ones not from the Iron Reapers would learn soon enough.
Sasha’s outfit was a departure from the therapist clothes I’d gotten used to seeing her in. She was wearing a tight black tank top and black skinny jeans that clung to her shapely hips and thighs like sin. Her stilettoed feet brought her nearly to my height, but I still had a couple inches on her.
The strange thing was, even though she looked different than Therapist Sasha, her eyes were much the same. They were her concentration eyes. The eyes she used to focus and take in important details. I loved those eyes.
I had a good feeling; not just about the tournament, but about life in general. I was still concerned by the threat of ruin by internal or external opponents in my club, but I was beginning to think this farce with Asa might actually help. Sasha could do it; I didn’t doubt her. She could do anything.