Chapter Seventeen
When Diablo helped Fallon off the bike, streaks of sand highlighted her tear-stained cheeks. Gently, he brushed his fingers across her face, the grains sticking to his skin. “It’s going to be all right,” he said in a low voice before he kissed her lightly. Her lips tasted of salt, and they were gritty from the blowing sand.
“I don’t want to be around a bunch of people,” she said.
“We’ll go straight to my room. Come on.” He pressed her close and wrapped his arm around her. She burrowed into his side and they walked slowly through the parking lot. Inside, the air was hazy and music filled the room. Women and men hung on to each other, and the tangy and sweet scent of sex, weed, and booze floated in the air. Over the hard beats of the music, the din of indistinct chatter rose.
Cue Ball and Sangre came over to Diablo as he pointed to a bottle of Jack. The prospect grabbed it and put it down in front of him. “Two glasses, a two-liter bottle of Coke, and a few bottled waters.”
“Glad to see you got here okay, dude,” Cue Ball said.
“Yeah. When I left the fuckers hadn’t yet arrived. Paco and the others took care of things?”
Sangre nodded. “Tomorrow we’ll pay a visit to Bud at the junkyard.”
Army, Chains, and Crow came over and Fallon pressed closer to Diablo, her face against his T-shirt. “Good to see you’re back,” Army said while Chains and Crow nodded in agreement.
“Yeah. I’m going to my room now. Later.” He turned to grab the bottle of Jack but it wasn’t there. None of the things he ordered were there. “What the fuck?” he said to the prospect.
Ruger smiled. “I already took them to your room. They’re outside your door.”
Diablo tilted his chin at him and walked out of the room.
In his room, Fallon pulled away from him and went over to the window. “There isn’t a star in the sky. They’re all hiding.”
He yanked off his bloodstained T-shirt, kicked off his boots, and stretched out on the bed. “Get comfortable. We gotta talk.”
Fallon turned away from the window and stared at him for a few seconds; then she took off her jacket, slipped off her shoes, and joined him on the bed. He poured her a glass of whiskey and pointed to the Coke. “You want me to add that?” She nodded and he poured it in her glass, then filled a large glass with Jack for him.
“I can’t believe how things got so out of hand,” she murmured.
“Sometimes life happens like that. That’s why you always have to be ready for it.”
“I don’t think he’s going to die.” Her voice broke.
“The bastard will be fine. Does he always talk to you like that?” She nodded. “Fuck.” He took a big gulp of whiskey, placed the glass on the counter, and grabbed her hands. “What’s the bastard done to you? You can trust me.”
Her eyes widened. “What do you mean? You were there. He just said some mean things to me and slapped me. I’m used to it.”
“Does he always hit you?”
She shook her head. “Not like when I was young. He’s only physical if he’s really angry at me. I knew he’d be mad. I expected it. I mean, I didn’t call him or anything. I just disappeared, and I had a lot of chores to do—”
“Stop.” Diablo put his fingers over her mouth. “Don’t even think this was your fuckin’ fault. You didn’t do shit. Is this the way it’s been for you the whole time?”
Pausing for a few seconds, she stared down at the blanket. “Ever since my mom left. Before she left us, he basically ignored me unless he was really mad at her or drunk. He’d go out of town on sales trips, and when he came home he’d be real nice to my mom, but then Mr. Hyde would take over a few days later, and he’d yell at my mom a lot. Sometimes he’d beat her.”
“Fuck. No wonder she left.”
“But she didn’t want me to tag along with her and Rich. She wanted to start over. My mom didn’t love me. It’s that simple. I need to grow up and accept it.” She wiped at her eyes.
“I’m sure your dad’s told you that a million times.”
Her shoulders slumped. “Yeah. When she first left, he told me she didn’t love me because I was stupid and ugly. He blamed me for making her go away. He really missed her. I’d sometimes hear him crying in their bedroom. I felt awful, and for a long time I wished I were better. I wished I wasn’t ugly. I figured if I were prettier and smarter, then maybe my mom would’ve taken me with her. I know it broke my dad when she left, and it doesn’t help when I do stupid things that make him mad. I should’ve called him and told him I needed a break from Shanna. I know he was worried about me.”
He’s browbeaten her for so long that she believes his shit. Diablo lifted her chin and wiped her damp cheeks. “I’m not gonna pretend like I know what your mom was thinking when she left you behind, but I can bet it wasn’t for the reasons your dad’s been telling you. You’re a beautiful woman with a ton of shit going for you. You aren’t stupid, and you’re not responsible for the way your dad acts. He is. Fuck.”
“I’m a cripple.”
“What the fuck does that have to do with any of this?”
“My dad says that’s why I’m the way I am.”
“What does he say you are?”
“Mean, selfish, and lazy. He says I’m so mad about being a cripple that I take it out on people who aren’t. He says I use it as an excuse to get out of chores.”
“Fuckin’ bullshit. I don’t think you’re mean or selfish.”
She smiled weakly. “You’re biased, although my dad’s right about me being angry. I do have a lot of rage inside me because of this.” She pointed to her leg.
Diablo watched her for a couple of seconds, then inhaled deeply. “Were you born that way?”
“No. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Once you told me you’d tell me if I asked. I’m asking. What happened?”
She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, resting her chin on the top of them. “I had an accident when I was fourteen.”
“What type of accident?”
“Why does that matter?”
“Why don’t you wanna tell me?” He rubbed her back.
“I fell off the roof. My dad had built an addition on the first floor and it was under my bedroom. The roof on the addition was flat and I could climb out my window and sit on it. I used to go out there when the yelling got to be too much in the house, and later it was my escape from my dad. From where I sat, I could see the whole neighborhood, and I used to pick out a pretty house and pretend I lived in it and had a normal life. Anyway, I slipped and fell and had a bad break from my knee down. The doctor said I had a severe displaced break. I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. All I knew was that it hurt real bad. Then he said something about my growth plates and how my bone would stop growing. He said I’d have a limp. There was nothing he could do to prevent that.”
He wrapped his arms around her and covered the side of her face and neck in feathery kisses. “I’m so sorry, Fallon.”
She shrugged. “I’m used to it.”
“Are you telling me the whole story?” He moved back a bit.
Her head jerked up. “Yeah. Why?”
“In your dreams you’re telling someone to get away from you. That you want them to stand back. You scream and it sounds like you’re falling.”
“I say all that when I’m asleep? It’s obvious I’m having a nightmare.”
“The same one over and over? You need to trust me, Fallon. I know it comes hard for you because it comes hard for me. I see some of me in you, but we’ve found each other through all the fuckin’ landmines we’ve had to dodge in our lives. Take a chance and trust me. I know you’re scared as fuck, but I’ll make sure to keep you safe. By trusting me, you’re giving us a shot.”
Staring ahead, a dazed look covered her face. He let her be, waiting for her to respond. A few moths flapped against the window, their wings frantic against the screen as light poured out from the room. After what seemed like a lifetime, her monotone voice cut through the frenetic beating of the wings. “That day, I’d run up there to hide from my dad because he was in one of his moods and I wanted to get away from him so he wouldn’t beat me. He searched the house, getting madder and cussing louder. Then he stuck his head out my window and looked down. I tried to hide against the brick, but he saw my feet and came out to get me. He smelled like sour musk and I thought I was going to throw up. I scrambled to get away from him, but he grabbed me and pulled me back. He was so angry. He told me that if I wanted to get away from him that badly, then he’d help me. He pushed me off the roof.
“At first he wasn’t going to take me to the doctor, but it hurt so much and I was running such a high fever that he got scared and took me to the emergency room. The whole way there, he kept threatening that if I told them what really happened, I’d be sent to a foster home where I’d be raped and sexually abused daily by all the men in the house. He kept telling me he loved me, that it was an accident, and that I’d made him so mad he didn’t know what he was doing. So when the doctor asked me if my dad had anything to do with what happened, I said no. He’d been concerned because he saw some fading bruises I had from a beating, but I’d told him I was a tomboy and loved climbing trees and roofs.”
The room was totally quiet—even the moths had stopped beating their wings. I’m gonna kill the fuckin’ bastard. I’m not gonna tell her, but I’m gonna do it. He untangled her arms, gently pushed down her knees, and drew her into his embrace. As she cried, he ran his hands up and down her back. How could the bastard do that to his own kid? Fuckin’ sonofabitch! But then he remembered how his mother used to spend all the money they had buying meth while her four children went to bed hungry night after night. If it hadn’t been for the free breakfast and lunch the school had provided for indigent kids, they rarely would’ve eaten.
“Why the fuck do parents have kids if they don’t want to love them?” she whispered.
“Fuck if I know.”
“Tonight, when you beat my dad, I was all twisted inside. I actually hated you for hurting him. Is that fucked or what?”
“Fuck if I know. My mom loved getting high more than us. It used to piss the shit outta me when I’d come home from school and my youngest sister would be sitting on the floor eating crumbs off it ’cause she was so damn hungry. And our mom would be strung out on the couch, staring off into space. At those times, I hated her more than anything. But when she went through a period of getting clean, and the house was tidy, and dinner was on the table, and she smiled a lot, I fuckin’ loved her.”
“Do you still love her?”
“Fuck if I know. Some days I do, and some days I wanna slit her throat for fucking up our family the way she did. But I mostly don’t think about her anymore. When my brother died from an overdose, my mom died for me as well. I never want to see her.”
She tilted her head up and kissed him. “I’m sorry. It must’ve been awful. I just wanted what all kids want—my parents to love me. My mom left and my dad stayed. I guess I’m still trying to please him. Even though I’m grown up, the child who wanted to win his love and approval is still inside me.” Her voice hitched.
He stroked her hair. “I get that.”
“But sometimes I really hate him. I used to feel awful thinking that way. I mean, he’s the one person in my life who’s supposed to be on my side when and if no one else is. Fuck!” She slammed her hand down on the mattress.
“The fact that you can hate him shows that you can see through his bullshit. And you wanting to live on your own is the best decision you can make right now.”
“I know but it’s so damn scary. I’m afraid,” she whispered.
“You’ve got me. I’ll always have your back. If you’re scared, lean on me.”
She threw her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. “I’m so happy I have you in my life,” she said against his lips.
He kissed her back; she tasted sweet and smoky. “I gotta take a shower, sweetness.” Standing up, he went to the bathroom and winked at her before shutting the door.
Clean and refreshed, he smiled when he saw her. He dropped his towel and joined her on the bed. She was lying on her side and he was lying on his, and she had those warm honey-colored eyes and long lashes that captured his heart as he gazed at her. Things he’d never felt before stirred deep inside him. They went past the erection he had, past the lust churning in his gut, and past the hunger he had for her at that moment. He couldn’t explain or articulate it; he just knew Fallon moved him in ways no other woman ever had.
“You have such a reflective expression on your face. What’re you thinking about?” she asked as she traced his face with her finger.
“How much I care about you.” He caught her finger and put it in his mouth, sucking on it.
“Why do you care about me?” She ran her foot up and down his shin.
“Because you do something to me. You fill a hole deep in me I didn’t even know I had. You calm the storm in me, bringing me peace. The best way I can say it is that you make me feel complete.”
Fallon’s eyes glistened and she looked deep into his gaze. “You’re my one stability in a world filled with chaos. You never leave my mind. You’re always there. And the feeling I have for you stretches throughout my whole body. It’s overwhelming, but it makes me feel complete too. I have to admit I’m scared of having my heart broken… of losing you.”
Diablo tugged her to him. “I’d never break your heart because if I did, I’d end up breaking mine too. Look, we were betrayed by people who should’ve always had our backs but didn’t. Besides my brothers, I’ve never trusted anyone. You’re the first woman I’ve trusted in a long time. It seems like you’re trusting me too.”
She nodded. “You’re the only man I’ve trusted and the only one I know I can depend on. Even though I’ve only known you for a short time, it’s like you’ve always been there just waiting for me.”
“We need each other.” He gently pushed her on her back and hovered over her. Bending down, he kissed her deeply while she ran her hands over his strong back. “I want you to know that whether my heart beats another day or another hundred years, it’s yours,” he said against her lips. She began to say something but he swallowed her words, then slipped his tongue into her mouth. Through her T-shirt, he felt her hardened nipples press against him.
“Let me take off my shirt,” she whispered.
“I’ll take care of it.” He nuzzled her neck as he took hold of her shirt’s hem and pulled it up. He straightened up and slowly took her clothes off, piece by piece, kissing and caressing her skin as he revealed it. Seeing her shiver under his touch made his cock grow more. “You’re so beautiful,” he said as he covered her pert breast with his hand. She moaned and reached out to him, her nails digging into his chest as he flicked his finger over her nipples before taking one in his mouth, cradling her other breast in his callused palm. A throaty moan fell from her lips.
“When I’m with you like this, nothing matters but you and me. Nothing can hurt me and the memories are gone. It’s like you’re me and I’m you, melting into each other. I feel safe.”
“That’s all over. From now on it’s us and nothing else matters.” He pulled her bottom lip into his mouth, sucking hard and knowing it’d be bruised, but he couldn’t stop. He wanted all of her and he couldn’t get enough of her. He wanted to possess, claim, and devour her; his hunger for her—all of her—was insatiable.
Peppering her shivering body with nips and licks, her moans and squirming underneath him went straight to his dick and fired every nerve in his body. His mouth trailed down to her belly while his hand slid under her and grabbed her ass cheek, squeezing it tightly. Again her moans drove him crazy; their raw desire was intoxicating. As his mouth lowered, she spread her legs, the scent of her arousal fueling his fire. When he licked her inner thighs and the area around her pussy, she bucked forward, pressing her sex against his face.
A chuckle rumbled deep from his chest. “I’ll get there.” A whimper escaped through her parted lips, and when he looked at her, unadulterated lust shone in her eyes. “Fuck, sweet pea.” His desire grew and his pulse quickened as he held her gaze.
More kisses, more licks, more nips to the softest skin he’d ever touched. More moans, more groans, more whimpers as she writhed underneath him. She was the fire in the core of his being. White-hot in intensity. He lifted his head and looked at her pussy pulsing in glistening need. “I love how wet you are,” he said as he slid his fingers between the velvety folds of her slippery pussy.
She gasped. “That feels so good.”
“I’m gonna make you feel a whole lot better.” He explored her aching wetness, then spread open her puffy lips and ran his tongue from her wet slit all the way to the top of her mound. Over and over he licked while he looked up at her, loving her perky nipples and her body moving around uninhibited. The scent of her, the feel of her, the taste of her fueled his fire. He dipped in and flicked his tongue against her clit while his index finger sank deep inside her.
“Oh my God,” she gasped, arching into his touch.
Picking up the pace, he shoved his finger in and out while his tongue flicked her hardened spot over and over. He licked her like he was possessed. He craved to hear her cry out, arch her back, come harder than she ever had. Then he felt her body tense under him; her belly was as hard as a board. He kept the steady pace until she cried out and clutched his head between her palms. His tongue kept going as she rode the wave of her climax, pure pleasure surging through him.
As her breathing returned to normal, he sat up and leaned back, his gaze capturing her contented one. He reached over, opened a drawer in his nightstand, and took out a packet. Putting it to his mouth, he ripped it open with his teeth.
Wiping her hair from her face, she breathed, “No. Don’t. I’m on the pill.” He jerked his head back. “I’m on it for bad periods. I want to feel you inside me.”
He growled in pleasure. “I’m good, sweet pea. You’re the only one I’ve been with since I last tested. I can’t wait to feel you.”
His hand went behind her knee to lift her leg over his shoulder. He was more than ready to bury himself between her thighs. Taking hold of his cock, he placed it at her wet slit and slipped it in. Being inside was like being burned alive with the sweetest heat. He stayed still, loving how her warm walls clutched his throbbing hardness. Then he pulled out and thrust in hard and deep, her moans music to his ears.
“You want it hard?” he panted.
“Hard and fast.” She scratched his shoulders with her nails.
“That’s my woman.” Diablo pulled out and shoved back in, pummeling her tightness over and over. The sound of her wetness mixed with the slapping of his balls with every deep thrust filled the room. “It feels so fuckin’ good. I love watching you as I fuck you,” he growled. He fucked her fast, hard, and deep. He felt like he was about to burst wide open, and he’d never felt that way before. It was the strangest sensation.
He could tell she was ready to come: tight, swollen, gripping down on his cock. He kept pumping her up and down, wanting her pussy squeezing his hardness as he exploded in her. Then he shot into her still-pulsating wetness, and she cried out as her spasms clamped tightly around his thrusting dick. As they came together, panting, moaning, grunting, and sweating, it felt as if something special inside her made its way through his dick into him. It overwhelmed him, and he didn’t know what to make of it. He’d never experienced something like that before.
For several minutes, he lay on top of her, his face buried in her neck, her fingers running over his shoulder like brushstrokes on a canvas. It was the most intense orgasm he’d ever had. He finally rolled over and tucked her against him. She curled her arm around his waist.
Her voice broke through the silence. “I’ve never been in love before, but it must feel like the way I’m feeling.” She pushed her head back and looked up at him.
“I’ve only felt something for a woman once, but what I feel for you doesn’t even fuckin’ compare to that. This is what love feels like, sweet pea.” He leaned down and kissed her.
“It’s awesome and scary at the same time.”
“Loving someone is always a risk, but it’s worth taking. Nothing’s perfect in life, but now that I met you, I’m willing to take all the risks in the whole fuckin’ world for a shot at us.”
“Me too.” She pulled his hand to her lips, kissed it, and tucked it under her chin.
Warmth spread through him. He knew that no matter what, he’d never stop desiring her or loving her. Life had been tough for both of them thus far in their journey, but through their suffering, they’d found each other. They stirred the deepest desires in each other. And at the same time, they’d become each other’s comfort from the storm of life.