Chapter 1

Gillian

I had been back from Guam for a few months and it was getting close to the holiday season. Early December and already, a crisp chill in the air. I was one of the last holdouts to wear gloves in the morning.

I was born and bred to be of military distinction. Not many people would have any clue what I had gone through over there and I didn’t want them to know. They could pat me on the back and congratulate me, but until they were living a few hours in my shoes, there was no way they could possibly understand.

My black hair was slowly growing back out. I had gone through with the ritual of shaving my head when I enlisted. I was proud of being a part of something bigger than myself. We were instrumental in helping the citizens in Guam to be prepared for the storm season. I had personally been a part of many relief movements. It put a smile on my face to see what our efforts could accomplish. We had even taken a bite out of the drug trade.

Being home was a transition, but I was in no festive mood. The reflection in the mirror was disconcerting. I was home in my small town in Maine. I was 25, 5’3, 120 pounds of solid muscle and I could take down somebody twice my size with my naval training.

My dark hair buzzed to an inch of my scalp had people nervous around me. I was nothing if not adaptable. This environment made it necessary for me to blend into my surroundings.

The woman looking back at me was wearing her naval uniform, pressed and polished to perfection to pass any inspection. Her body was rigid, but it was the blood on her hands that had me staring in disbelief. I swallowed hard and blinked back into focus the wedding dress.

“You should be the happiest woman in the world. You’re about to marry your best friend. Grant is a very lucky man and has been pining for you since high school.” Jennifer was my little sister and my matron of honor.

The dress I had chosen for the bridesmaids wasn’t ugly as tradition dictated. They were crimson with no straps over the shoulders leaving gravity to do the rest. The ultimate decision had fallen on my little sister’s shoulders.

“I know how lucky I am and I don’t need you to remind me.” I was a little caustic, but Grant was playing a different game than others were aware of.

“I think that I would be over the Moon if someone like Grant showed me the least bit attention.” I wanted to come clean, but the threat to my continued freedom was hanging over my head.

“He does seem to have it all.” Grant had changed and had turned bitter in my absence.

“Gillian, he has charisma, wealth, and looks that make women melt. I’ve seen him with other women, but he doesn’t look at them the way he looks at you.” Jennifer was smitten by the man she believed Grant to be.

Grant was the one person I thought I could trust. I was wrong.

The wedding boutique was closed and this personal viewing was made possible by Grant. The Hamilton name was synonymous with almost everything that was a growing concern in the town. They had their hand in absolutely everything including politics.

Grant was about to announce his campaign to become senator of Maine. He had aspirations for the big chair and wanted me by his side every step of the way.

“I was a little blindsided by his proposal. It has been a whirlwind romance from the very beginning. I never saw him as a potential suitor. I finally opened up my eyes and realized a good thing when I saw it.” These words were predicated by Grant whispering into my ear, telling me what to say to make the proposal more believable.

“You are considered a hero and saving the boy from drowning made you a national treasure.” Jennifer was referring to a storm in Guam where I had gone above the call of duty to swim out to collect a little boy caught in an undertow.

I wasn’t the only one who had come to the rescue. I had to make the most painful decision of my life. I could save only one of them. I put myself in Dalton’s shoes and I knew what he would want me to do. I still felt the knife of that decision twisting in my guts. He drowned with his body never surfacing.

The navy in their infinite wisdom decided to use it as a photo opportunity. I wasn’t very comfortable with the limelight. I was trying to figure out if I would have saved the boy had I’d known what was going to follow in its wake. I wanted to say there was nothing that would stop me, but the ugly reminder of what I had gotten myself into was currently draped over my body.

“I don’t know why people are making a big deal about it. First responders save people every day and barely get any credit. Lifeguards at the beach find satisfaction in a job well done.” Saving the boy was only one piece of the puzzle.

“In these uncertain times, people need to rally for something. You were the first female in this town to join the navy. You know our father was tickled pink when you followed in his footsteps. He might be retired from active duty, but he still gets consulted with from time to time. Our parents have welcomed Grant into the family. They don’t think you could have done any better.” On paper, it might seem like a good fit, but there was one glaring omission. I wasn’t in love with him.

“They’ve always wanted what was best for us. Do you know our father actually tried to talk me out of going into the navy? He prepared me for what I was about to enter into by bringing me to the office. I saw the discipline and the way everybody had each other’s backs. I found my purpose.” Not many could claim to find what they were destined to do.

“Are you still thinking about going back for another tour of duty? You were very adamant when you came back in February. I haven’t heard you mention it in quite some time.” Jennifer was always able to see through me and I was doing my best to put on a brave face.

“I think you can agree things have changed. I’m not ruling it out. The military is in my blood.” I got up every morning before the crack of dawn to find my father ready to join me in a rigorous regiment of jogging and calisthenics.

It was the one respite from the demands of Grant. I almost broke down and told my father everything, but I somehow remained silent. I had to attribute it to my military training. It gave me the necessary strength to fight a lone battle on many fronts. I was on a never-ending supply of antacid for my stomach.

“Grant has made no secret about his praise for your service to your country. He’s very proud of you.” I wanted to grab her by her shoulders and shake the blinders from her eyes.

“He has been quite vocal on the subject. We can’t go to a dinner party without him telling stories about my heroism.” It was his way of buttering up those who were in a position to contribute to his campaign.

“I hope I find a good man like him to settle down with. It’s too bad he doesn’t have a little brother. His wealth might come from his family, but he doesn’t allow it to corrupt him. He’s still the kind and gentle soul he has always been. The man knows how to work a room and has been a godsend to several different charities in town.” Jennifer was one of many who were metaphorically bowing on their knees in his presence.

“I’ve been there personally to witness his humanitarian aid.” Yet, I’ve seen him do some back-alley deals with some unsavory characters.

“Without him and the Hamilton family name, this town would have withered up and died a long time ago. We were on the brink of becoming a ghost town when Grant revitalized the town.” Jennifer and the rest of the town had fallen victim to the face he showed the public.

I had known for a long time he was capable of manipulation. He always did know how to cultivate relationships with those people that could do something for him.

I had no complaints and he was there for me when my grades were slipping. I didn’t ask any questions when I graduated with honors. I knew he was responsible, but I wasn’t about to pull at the thread.

I saw the black town car roll up to the curb and stop abruptly with him getting out of the backseat. I cringed to think how I might have to smile while he kissed the babies and shook the hands of the public. It was a small price to pay considering what he had over me. They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but they were my worst enemy.

I should’ve known better and Dalton had specifically addressed the concern of sharing the news with anybody we knew. He was quite forceful in his demeanor. The man knew human nature like nobody’s business. I thought he was being paranoid when he said we would find out more than we wanted to know about our friends. What we did had eaten me up inside and I mistakenly broke down one night to Grant during a moment of weakness.

I heard what sounded like the backfire of a car and I ran to the window to see Grant kneeling behind the armor plate of the car. There was no sign of trouble, but then I got a glimpse of a man dressed in an army jacket walking away from the scene. There was something about his walk that made a jolt of familiarity burn through my veins.

“Where are you going?” I had the dress hiked up with both hands and I was on the sidewalk getting the last glimpse of the man as he turned into an alley.

I was about to turn and chase him down, but there was somebody tugging on my dress. Grant was shaking his head and I breathed a sigh of resignation. This was a port town and we had our fair share of derelicts and drugs. I just couldn’t shake this feeling that my past had come back to haunt me.