Chapter 5

Gillian

Grant and his family were driving me crazy. I was forbidden to sign up for another tour of duty. I couldn’t understand how I had gotten into this mess. It started so innocently with a party for the locals in Guam. Everybody was invited. The liquor and food was in abundance. It was when we left the party early that things began to unravel. I didn’t want to think about it.

I was a very good swimmer. It was the reason why I had survived when Dalton didn’t. I hadn’t been able to put a foot into the ocean again.

Dalton was an acquired taste but sometimes he could rub people the wrong way. It was easy to see his family meant the world to him. He considered all of us family and would protect us with his life. Seeing him switch off from his civilian roots to the military mindset in his eyes was like the difference between night and day. He could easily become like a machine.

I was standing by the pool, smelling the chlorine like an old friend I had not been in touch with in quite some time. The Olympic size pool made me realize I was in for one hell of a workout. It was the perfect way to get my head together after going a few rounds with the Hamilton family.

They claimed to be concerned for my safety, but I knew they wanted to keep me where they could see me. They were worried the holidays would make me say something in a moment of weakness. I’d already proven my emotions were my Achilles’ heel. Grant had seen me break down and turn to him for comfort only to find a cold shoulder and blackmail as a response.

I adjusted the top of my bikini and had my head leaned forward with my hands back behind me to fix the string from coming undone. I had no interest in giving the security staff a chance to see me during a wardrobe malfunction.

There was this sudden feeling like I wasn’t alone. I looked around, but the pool was vacant leaving me to wonder why the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up. My instincts were razor sharp. It could’ve been a case of paranoia considering I was living with a bunch of vipers.

There was a cold chill and I shivered in place still feeling like I was being watched. It was a strong and somewhat familiar feeling. I had the same tingling sensation when the derelict on the sidewalk made me feel like I was taking a step back in time.

The lights over the pool shimmered like glass on the surface of the water. I dove seamlessly into the deep end. The water was warm and there was no jarring impact from the freezing temperatures touching my delicate skin. I was known to be allergic to the cold and break out in tiny bumps.

I resurfaced at the other end of the pool after holding my breath to see how far I could go. My endurance wasn’t exactly the same as it was when I was younger. 25-years-old and I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.

We had all aged considerably after that day and some of us had contemplated coming clean. It was Dalton who convinced us that what we had done for our country was never going to find the kind of reward we deserved at the end of a stellar career.

I was standing in the shallow end with my chest exposed. The water had temporarily caused my nipples to become hard. I could literally see them poking obscenely against the material of the bikini.

I thought I heard somebody gasp and I lifted my body until I was sitting there with my arms crossed over my chest defending my honor. I thought Grant was spying on me. It didn’t seem like something he would do, but everything he had done was out of character. He wasn’t the man I had believed him to be. There’s no telling how he would react to seeing me vulnerable.

It could’ve been my overactive imagination running wild. I was dripping onto the multicolored tile around the pool. My bare feet slapped wetly against them as I circled the pool looking for the source of the sound I had heard.

“This isn’t very funny. I don’t think it’s necessary to act like a little child hiding in the darkness to get your first look at a woman that’s barely dressed. Come out and stop playing these foolish games.” There were several different recesses around the room bathed in darkness.

I quickly found a light switch and flicked them all on at the same time. There was a shadow and someone cursed underneath their breath as they made a mad dash for the stairs. I followed on their heels and the figure didn’t look like Grant. He was a little taller and there was an air of military bearing surrounding him. I felt a little violated and I wasn’t about to let him get away with stalking me in the shadows.

“I’m going to find out who you are. You may as well stop and face me like a man.” He was leaping the stairs three at a time and I was matching him stride for stride.

The house was a vast maze of hallways and he could easily get lost. I had to show this family I wasn’t some kind of pushover they could walk all over. There had to be some ground rules and a line in the sand that they couldn’t cross.

“I can easily go to the security room and watch the tape.” I thought maybe he would understand how stupid it was to run from me, but it didn’t deter him from his course of action.

I turned the corner and found the hallway empty of the peeping Tom. There were several different doors on either side giving him many possible egresses. I didn’t know why, but it felt like this was some kind of inside joke at my expense. I knew enough to put myself into the shoes and the mindset of the person. I was thinking like a man who had been caught looking at something he shouldn’t.

I could feel the droplets of water trailing down my skin to tickle my nerve endings into a spine-tingling experience. Being blackmailed had made me contemplate self-medicating with liquor until I felt numb. I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of seeing me become an alcoholic before their eyes.

I skillfully moved quietly, turning the knob and opening the doors one at a time while turning on the lights at the same time. I wanted to catch the person like a deer in the headlights. It would’ve been a fitting punishment to put the person in the same position he had put me in. I had to believe I had some control even though Grant and his family had me by the short hairs.

I used my military training to keep my head on a swivel to perceive anything out of my peripheral vision. Each room was a reminder of how vast the Hamilton fortune was. The antiques and expensive Victorian furniture must’ve cost a pretty penny. It was a bit of a distraction. I knew my pursuit of the suspect was in vain.

I had given him too much time and he had utilized that window of opportunity to his advantage. I stood at the window looking out at the landscape and the only thing missing was the prerequisite bars on the window.

“I was wondering when we were going to have a chance to talk. I know exactly what you’re feeling. I wasn’t blackmailed, but I did feel like my choices were limited. Baxter was charming and he came to my rescue when my financial woes were too much for me.” Meredith was his mother. She was wearing a tasteful white and black dress adorned with the necessary jewels to blind me temporarily.

There was no point in mentioning how security had gotten a little too close for comfort. It wasn’t like he could hide forever. The cameras were on 24-hours a day.

“I never knew what you had to endure. He married you to give him a portrait of a family man. Grant learned his lessons at the feet of the master. I’m sure you watched him emerge from the cocoon of a little boy to the young man ready to take the world by storm.” I had to wonder if she was proud of her little boy or had washed her hands of the entire thing.

“I don’t know what got in your head to run around here half naked. Show some dignity and find something to put on.” She had purposely dodged my question.

“I got a little lost when I went and had a swim to cool off.” There was a semblance of truth in a lie to make it sound more believable.

“They can be a bit overbearing at times.” Her hair was jet black with streaks of gray at the early age of 50.

I had to believe living without love had aged her prematurely. The scent of her perfume most likely cost more than most of my wardrobe. The dress had to be an original found with an extravagant price in some boutique catering to the elite

She moved with practiced ease like an accomplished socialite with a circle of friends to become a juggernaut in the community. She had always walked alone in her pain. It must’ve been heartwarming to know somebody else was walking in her shoes. Those high heels would’ve made a model on a fashion runway scared of breaking her fool neck. She had the balance of a mountain goat.

“I don’t know how you have done it all of these years. Did Grant even have a chance to walk in his own path?” I had to know how long Grant had been living in the shadow of his father.

“Grant was groomed from the moment he was born to stand with power behind him. He did express interest in being a veterinarian. His father demanded his loyalty and respect from an early age. I wasn’t even able to breastfeed him. He didn’t want us to have that kind of emotional bond.” Grant didn’t have a chance to stand on his own 2-feet.

We came to my room and this was the first time I was getting a look at where I was going to reside for an interminable amount of time. The smell of lavender had me looking towards a small machine by the bed humming with efficiency.

“I’ve been living with this secret for so long it has become like a noose around my neck. Each day it pulls a little tighter. It’s cold comfort to have all of you sharing my secret. I would like to say misery loves company, but I don’t think Grant or his father sees it that way.” I went into the adjoining bathroom and closed the door to change into something less revealing.

“Everybody has skeletons in their closet, some more than others. I’m sure if somebody took a metaphorical shovel and began digging they would find things in my husband’s past he doesn’t want to be revealed. It’s a matter of knowing where to start digging.” She was a kindred spirit and it was nice to know I had somebody to talk to.

“Meredith, I can’t even tell my family without my secret falling into the wrong hands.” I had raised my voice so that she could hear me on the other side of the door.

I heard somebody yelling and I went to the window to see a man dressed in black being chased by security. There was no wasted motion. The security was outmatched and outwitted by somebody who knew what they were going to do before they did it.

He easily climbed the fence without being electrocuted in the process. One of the security guards had grabbed his boot and received a kick in the face for his troubles. I watched fascinated with how he stayed perched on the top like a gargoyle before leaping down on the other side.