Chapter 11

Gillian

I woke up in the morning feeling rejuvenated like my body had gotten a jump-start from a pair of booster cables. I stretched and muscles I had not used in quite some time were feeling the burn. The dream was extremely explicit.

I had done what I had always wanted to do for a long time. It was fulfilling and sensual, but I had no idea why my thighs felt like I’d gone the distance with a man with the kind of stamina to get me to the finish line.

I flung the sheets off of me and I got up on my unsteady feet to make my way to the bathroom. The warm floors were courtesy of the Hamilton family name and what money could buy. I’d never had heated floors, but I could see how somebody would never want to be without them.

The window was steamed up in the shower and I moved my hand across the glass to see a thin layer of snow falling from the sky. It was enough to weigh down the trees and give it the holiday feel.

The staff had begun decorating and there was no real tradition to speak of for a good old-fashioned Hamilton Christmas. I was determined to introduce them to some of my old favorites including hanging the stockings by the fireplace.

I let the water scorch my skin until I was turning red. It was really the only way I knew how to get the chill out of my bones. I remembered something my mother did when we didn’t have the kind of revenue coming in that the Hamilton family had annually. She had a hair dryer and stuck it underneath my sheets before going to bed.

I went over to the window after covering my nudity with a fluffy white robe found hanging behind the door. It made me feel safe and secure. I could easily find myself reading a good book by the fire with my feet curled in underneath me in the Lotus position.

It was a Saturday and there were still a couple of weeks before the big day. A fat man would come down everybody’s chimneys with toys and presents for all the good little boys and girls. I never did have kids to pass on nuggets of Christmas tradition to them.

There was something about the window that seemed off. It looked like the impression of a woman’s boobs pressed into the glass. The steam from the bathroom had even brought to life the fingerprints of somebody. I placed my hand over those handprints and they were an exact match.

I stood back and could see the last part of my wet dream playing out in front of my eyes. I was going to have to ask about those pills. I did sleep like a newborn baby in the manger, but the side effects made me a sleeping zombie acting out my wildest of fantasies.

I didn’t bother getting dressed and it was still early in the morning. It took a moment for me to get downstairs following the smell of freshly brewed coffee coming from the kitchen.

“It’s good to see you up and about. I’m the only one up at this hour. This is the sweet spot before this place turns into a madhouse of activity. We have about ½ hour before the staff begin to make their presence known. I do think you have some explaining to do.” I was little worried that what I had gotten into last night had verbally exposed my hungry desire for Dalton.

“I went to bed early and I don’t remember much of anything until I woke up in the morning. I hate to make this confession, but I had to use medicinal means to get to sleep. The chef was courteous to let me borrow one of his sleeping pills.” I wasn’t going to say anything unless I was called on the carpet for my behavior.

“One of the security guards reported seeing you looking a little pleased with yourself up against the glass. You probably made his night. I would appreciate a little discretion. The pill does explain what happened, but you should have asked me. I could easily have the doctor stop by and prescribe you something less likely to cause you to act out in unpredictable ways.” He didn’t seem angry and more amused than anything else.

“I certainly didn’t set out to embarrass you.” He handed me a cup of coffee in a black mug. The caffeine aroma was an intoxicating blend of something hand blended for the Hamilton family.

“Don’t let it happen again.” His tone made it sound like he was giving me three strikes and I had already used one of them.

“I barely remember anything other than a few lucid dreams. I could probably tell you what they were about, but I seem to remember only fragments of what actually happened." I had no interest in telling him how I had lived the fantasy of being with Dalton.

Grant looked like he rolled out of bed looking like the cover of a GQ magazine. He was freshly shaven and his suit was perfectly pressed for a day at the office. It didn’t look like there was any rest for the wicked.

“I would lay off on watching horror movies and eating chocolate before bed. I will have the doctor prescribe you something a little less likely to make you do something that would put a smile on the security guards face. I have to go into town for a meeting at a hotel. I would very much like for you to accompany me. There doesn’t seem to be anytime like the present to get used to our new arrangement.” He drank the rest of his cup and turned to me in expectation of me doing the same thing.

It had cooled significantly, but my fingertips were happy to have the warmth. Somehow he knew exactly how I liked my coffee and I had to believe he was fishing for something to make me feel more comfortable by going to my family for childhood secrets.” I wasn’t that surprised to see that his parents had decided to sleep a little later in separate rooms on the other side of the house.

“I would like to know what you want me to do in this situation. Do I sit there and look pretty or am I encouraged to say something during this meeting you are having? I would like to think that I could contribute something.” He couldn’t expect me to paint a smile on my face and socially accept my new role in service of his higher calling.

“I have prepared a dossier on the two men who are going to be meeting with me. I took the liberty of having a copy made for you. I want you to be fully aware and understand how important it is to know your adversaries.” He was playing the same game his father did back in the day.

He was less subtle about his overtures in the criminal underground. He made it look like a legitimate venture in the eyes of the authorities.

“I appreciate how you want my input. You could have easily led me around by the nose. It isn’t like I could do much about it. I have to know if you feel good about playing with my life. It’s quite apparent you take your marching orders from how your father would do business.” I went to the farm style sink and washed the cups before putting them away in their respective places in the cupboard.

“I would rather have you working with me than against me. It’s counterproductive to keep you on a short leash. I know your skills. Your attention to detail is something that is going to make my work a lot easier. I don’t hide talent especially when they can do something for me in the trenches.” He wasn’t messing around and the very idea of making his life better was not an easy thing to swallow.

“You lived under the roof of parents who didn’t love each other. I would like permission to incorporate some of my family values into this Christmas. I’m not suggesting anything ostentatious for your taste. There will be no extravagant display of lights outside. Everything the staff has done up to this point is fine, but there’s no real emotion behind it.” I grabbed a blueberry muffin from the fridge and that was going to substitute for my breakfast.

“I will have to talk it over with my parents, but I don’t see any reason why we can’t bend a little. I have some last minute details to go over, but then I will need you to meet me at the front door where the car will be waiting for us.” He really did have a political ear and a polished style classic for a man of his standing within the community.

“I will find something tasteful to wear in the wardrobe you have furnished me with. I’m sure you will want something to distract them from what you’re doing behind their back. It is somewhat exciting to play this part. It makes me forget about what happened when I was stationed in Guam.” Dalton’s death still weighed heavily on me physically and emotionally.

“You can say whatever you want about that in here, but outside you need to refrain from making any mention of your time over there. You can say something in passing, but don’t get into any details. I don’t even mind if you bring up how you saved the child from drowning. It’s a good way to garner their respect.” I was under his control, but he was fortunate not to push it too far.

Some people would have taken great pleasure from using the information against me. He was attempting to make it sound like a means to an end. He probably would have turned out differently, but his parents didn’t even give him a chance to live a little. It was mostly his father dominating and holding him to a higher standard with the family legacy on his shoulders.

I went into my bedroom and was easily able to find a white flowing dress. It was nothing like the dress I was going to wear for a spectacle of hundreds of people in attendance. One more week and I would start my new life with hesitation in my heart.