Maria
“What happened?” Elissa asked when I finally got around to calling her. “You just disappeared. Your phone was off, and I even went up to find you at the office. Your dad said you were gone.”
“He didn’t say anything else?” I asked her. It was almost comforting that he hadn’t said anything about the kidnapping – or attempted kidnapping.
“No, just that you left work one day and never came back. He made it sound like he knew but didn’t care enough to say,” my best friend told me.
“That sounds about right. So much has happened, girl. So much.” I told her about quitting the job, just like I’d told her I was going to do that morning. Then, I told her about getting kicked out and losing my phone and everything. I left out the part about being kidnapped.
“So, did you finally get into nursing school? Where are you? What are you doing?” She fired off her questions back-to-back.
“Yes, I finally got into school.” In fact, I was calling her to take a break from my work. I was sitting on the guest bed at Brawn’s house. I had turned the guestroom into my own little study, and I stored my school stuff in there.
“Sounds like there’s more to your story than that. Where are you, and what else have you been up to, Maria? When do I get to see my best friend?”
“Whoa, one thing at a time,” I said, laughing at her. “Remember that biker who worked for my dad who was always checking me out? The creepy one, Mickey?”
“Yeah, I remember you telling me about him. What about him?” she asked.
I had to figure out a way to tell her what had happened without telling her exactly what happened. “He quit that morning, too. He took me up to this cabin in the woods to give me some time to calm down.”
“Oh, that’s freaky. You mean you went willingly? He could have kidnapped you!”
I couldn’t stop the laughter. If she’d only known. “He’s very convincing. Let’s put it that way.” I felt the smirk on my face, and my cheeks burned. Luckily, no one was around to see me.
“So you’ve slept with him,” she said bluntly.
“A couple of times, yeah.”
“Man, you guys are moving slow. Are you living with him now? At the cabin?”
“We’re living in his house in town. We’re not trying to date or get involved. The sex just happened,” I tried to explain.
“Right. I know you, Maria. The sex doesn’t just happen with you,” she said.
“Regardless, we’re also business partners.”
“What? You’ve been busy, girl.”
“I have.” I told her about how Brawn was a carpenter and we’d opened a carpentry to woodworking shop for him. I ran the business, and he did the work.
“Are you doing that now, while you’re going to school?” she asked in amazement, as if she expected me to tell her I was.
“Not right now. He sent me home, told me to focus on school while a couple of the old ladies from the MC handle my job. But I want to go back, and I’m thinking about changing from nursing to business or management, something along those lines,” I confessed, saying those thoughts aloud for the first time.
“You’ve always wanted to be a nurse,” Elissa reminded me.
“I know.” I closed my books and put them away on the nightstand. I got up from the bed and started out of the room.
“What changed?” she asked, and it was a good question. It was the right question. Elissa was good at that.
“I don’t know. Well, I know; I just don’t know how to put it into words. I don’t know how to describe my experience,” I told her.
“Give it a shot, Maria.”
“The deal with Mickey was that if I would help him get his business off the ground, he was going to help me with school. No big deal. That’s what’s happening right now. He’s helping me pay for it, letting me stay with him, everything. But I’ve spent the last few months working with him, side by side, every day. We have built this business from the ground up, which means we’ve put in long hours. Hell, we even started getting our mail at the shop because we were never home,” I said as I made my way into the living room.
“So what does that have to do with nursing? You’ve definitely earned the opportunity.” She wasn’t getting it.
“But I think it changed what I want, Elissa. I want to have something that is mine, at least in part. You know, all the work, time, and effort that’s going to have to go into being a good nurse has already been invested in creating this business that is doing really well. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to turn my back on nursing or on what we’ve built together.” I didn’t like how whiny I sounded, but there wasn’t much I could do about it.
“Sounds like that sex that just happened is clouding your judgment. But that’s my opinion,” Elissa joked.
“Real funny. I told you, it was just sex. We aren’t together.”
“Then where’s the loyalty coming from?” she asked. It was another good question.
“I don’t know,” I said slowly, as I let her question sink in.
“You need to think about that, Maria. I can’t give you an answer on this one. I’m glad you’re in school, and I’m glad you finally found time to call me so I know you’re not lying in a ditch somewhere. But you have to figure out where your loyalty lies and why you’re doubting something you’ve been telling me you wanted to do since we were kids.”
I sighed. She was right. I looked around the living room at the couches, the coffee table, the back door leading out to the patio he put down himself. Brawn’s essence permeated the room. It wasn’t as clear and overpowering at home as it was at his cabin, where he’d built everything with his own hands, but his touch could be seen.
“You know, you don’t have to leave him to pursue nursing,” Elissa said finally, breaking the silence. She’d figured it out. She hit the nail on the head.
“I know,” admitted, failing to tell her that leaving him was exactly what I’d been worried around, almost afraid of even.
“It’s obvious that’s what you’re worried about. I know you’re just friends or just business partners, or reluctant lovers who don’t want to admit it, but if he’s willing to put you through school and give you a place to stay, I’m willing to bet he’s ready to keep you around even if you choose to go work somewhere else once you’re out of school,” she encouraged me.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“What are you thinking right now?” she asked.
“I’m thinking I need to get back to work,” I answered with a laugh.
“Okay, I can let you do that. Just don’t do anything stupid like change your major or drop out.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I can’t drop out. He’d lose his shit over that. No; even if I changed majors, I’d have to keep quiet until afterwards. We’ve both put a lot of work into this,” I said.
“Nonsense, Maria. I bet if you went to him with any decision and talked to him the way you talk to me, he’d be all right with it. Maybe you should try it,” she suggested.
It wasn’t that I thought he would be angry and suddenly turn into an abusive boyfriend. If he had a mean bone in his body, I hadn’t seen it yet. I just didn’t want to disappoint him, really. That was the big thing. He treated my hopes and dreams like they were his hopes and dreams.
“Are you still there?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” I said distractedly. “Just trapped in my head.”
“Look, it’ll be fine. You’re just overwhelmed. Why don’t you run up to the shop where you guys work?” she asked.
I laughed. “I don’t have a car.”
“You don’t have a car? What happened to your car?”
I froze. I had to stop myself from telling her that I’d left it at the house when Brawn grabbed me. Instead, I told her, “My father kept it when I left.”
“Oh, damn. That sucks. You’ve pretty much had to rebuild from the ground up, then, haven’t you?”
“Yeah. When Brawn took me with him, I just left everything behind,” I explained.
“Brawn?”
“Oh, sorry,” I said, snickering. “That’s what the guys in the MC call Mickey.”
“And you call him that, too. Of course you do. Maria, I feel like maybe I should be surprised, but I’m really not. You were never the most conventional person.” She sounded disappointed in me.
“It’s been a long road. Luckily, Brawn is pretty smart with money, so it hasn’t been as hard as it could have been.”
“I’m sure if he’s involved enough to go by his street name, he doesn’t have to worry much about money at all,” she said, her voice thick with accusation.
“What’s that supposed to mean, Elissa?”
“Come on, Maria, don’t play naïve with me. We both know better. He’s a biker, and he’s in a motorcycle club. Everyone knows what those guys get into,” she said.
“Wow. I’m floored by your prejudice, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised either. You know, for your information, the only money he’s taken that might have been connected to the MC was a loan from his brother. His real brother, not just one of the other guys from the MC. He wanted to do this on his own but he couldn’t. He paid it back almost instantly once we had the business up and running. No other money has come through the shop. No weapons, no drugs, nothing. I even had to talk him into bringing in people from the MC to work for him. He didn’t even want to do that,” I explained.
“Are you sure?” Those three simple words, said bluntly, were enough to shake my confidence. Not in Brawn, but in my friendship with Elissa.
“Elissa, we’ve been friends forever, for as long as I can remember, right?”
“Right, and you know I’m just trying to look out for you. It seems to me you’re making some pretty rash decisions here, even for you, and I just want you to think about what you’re doing with your life.” I could tell by her tone that she really believed what she was saying.
“Okay, you should know better than anyone else that I’m not just going to rush into something stupid. We were both left with no other choice than to work together to get out of our current situations,” I explained.
“Is there something you’re not telling me?” she asked.
I wanted to tell her there was something I wasn’t telling her. I sighed. “Yes, there are details that are hard to explain, but we were left without any other options. And I thought the same thing when we started talking about things. I thought about all the stereotypes of bikers and motorcycle clubs, but he’s not like that. For one, he’s a really nice guy. He doesn’t take any shit, though, and he does have a hard time with authority. He’ll do right by people, but he also won’t tolerate anyone doing people wrong,” I explained.
“Well, sounds like you lucked out,” she said.
“I did. I really did,” I said, a big smile breaking out on my face.
“Just be careful. And if you are feeling like nursing isn’t what you want to do, talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel or what you’re thinking. If he’s the good guy you make him out to be, he might just surprise you.”
“Thanks, Elissa.”
“Don’t sweat it. Now, get back to work.”
I laughed. “Oh, and save my number,” I reminded her.
“Got it.”
We hung up, and I walked back into the guestroom to get back to work. I reminded myself to talk to Brawn when he got home about possibly letting me borrow the car while I was in school so I could get around more easily. I hadn’t even thought about it until Elissa mentioned going up to the shop. I set my phone down on the nightstand and grabbed my books. There was a lot of studying to do.