Chapter Thirteen
Xavier
The day before had been one of the most exhausting days I’d had in a long time. A small fire had broken out, and I’d been sent to sort it out with Kenny and a few of the other guys. By the time we arrived, the small fire was not so small anymore, and we didn’t have enough guys on the team to sort it out. We called for help while we attempted to at least stop the fire from spreading. It was a long day, and by the time I got home, I was beat. I fell straight into bed and when I woke up the next morning, it was already late. I could still smell smoke on me despite the fact that I’d come home and scrubbed my entire body over and over again. I knew I should get up, but I was still feeling so tired, and my bed was too comfortable to leave. I lay in bed feeling half asleep and couldn’t help but smile as Holly’s face came flooding to my mind.
For once, I allowed myself to think of her. She’d looked so hot the other night at dinner in her tight black top and boots. I’d wanted to strip off all her clothes, leaving only her boots and see what was hiding underneath. I’d known Holly for a very long time, but I had never seen her naked. I’d never wanted to see her naked, but now I couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to run my hands all over her body. I’d always wanted to make Holly happy, but now I imagined making her happy in a more physical way. What would her mouth feel like against mine? What would her small breasts feel like in the cup of my hands? And if I allowed my hands to run down her stomach, would she open her legs for me and let me feel her inside? I found myself getting aroused just thinking about her. I reached inside my boxers, closed my eyes, and imagined what it would feel like to be with her. It didn’t take me long to come hard at the thought of it, but the moment it was over, I felt incredibly ashamed at my thoughts. What was wrong with me?
I got out of bed and immediately went to the shower. It wasn’t the smoke I was washing off me now, but also the thoughts of Holly that I knew I shouldn’t have. I’d been thinking about her ever since she got back, but this was the first time I’d allowed my thoughts to get away from me. I wondered if I really did like her in that way or whether it had just been too long since I’d been with a girl. Either way, I still felt bad at what I had just done. I wanted to shake myself and tell myself to get a grip. She was little Holly, not someone that I should should imagine sleeping with. I felt a bit better when I got out the shower and made myself a strong cup of coffee. Now that I was out of bed, and fully awake, I felt like I could handle the situation. But when the phone rang, my immediate thought was Holly. It wasn’t Holly, thank goodness, but Silas.
“Hey, I heard about the fire yesterday? Were you part of the team?” he asked.
“I sure was. It always amazes me how quickly these things can spread. It was touch and go for a while. But thankfully we managed to get it under control. It was a long day, though. I got home and literally fell into bed. I’m just glad it wasn’t an all-nighter. Those are even worse. I actually only got out of bed now.”
“I can imagine. Well, any chance you feel like taking a night off to relax? Tell me you’re not working tonight. You deserve a break.”
“I’m not working. Definitely not. What did you have in mind? Want to go for a beer or something?” I thought about how I’d told Rick that my brothers never contacted me or made an effort with me. Now here was Silas calling me and asking to see me. I felt bad for lying, but I really didn’t want Rick to know. He’d be devastated to know that they simply didn’t want to talk to him.
“Actually, I’m playing tonight at a bar on the edge of town. It’s a cool place, with a small dance floor. It’s sort of got a half-pub, half-club vibe. So you can dance, but you can also just chill with a beer. After the gig, I’ll probably just spend the night chilling, to be honest. I’ve never been much of a dancer.”
I laughed. “Yeah, that’s what you say now, but I’ve seen you after a few drinks.”
He chuckled. “That’s true. Well, I’d love to have you there. The last gig went really well, and I think this is going to be a better crowd for it. And, like I said, you could use a night off.”
I’d already promised Kenny I would go out with him, so this was probably the perfect place for us to go. That way I was going to make Kenny and Silas happy in one go. Also, I desperately needed to get out a bit. I was starting to spend too much time at home. I’d always been known as this bad boy who loved nothing more than getting his thrills through adrenaline rushes. But lately, all the adrenaline I was getting was when a fire broke out at work, and that was definitely not the same thing.
“Yeah, I’ll be there. Thanks for inviting me. I could definitely go for a night out. I haven’t been out in forever. I’ll call Kenny now and bring him along too. He’s always up for a good time, and he’s been begging me to go out for ages now.”
“Kenny? Ah, great, I’d love to see him again. Thanks, bro, I’d really appreciate that. Hopefully I don’t suck too much tonight.”
I shook my head. “Confidence! You need some. You won’t suck, I’m sure of it. I’ve heard you before, and you definitely don’t suck. And you should know by now that I would tell you if I thought you were rubbish. I don’t believe in saying things just to make people feel better. And I’m looking forward to it.”
“Thank you. Good to hear you’re not helping Rick out again tonight.”
I laughed. “I wish you weren’t so against the guy. You should come over sometime and see him. He would be so happy to see you. You would literally make his day.”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Not just yet. Oh, but I wanted to ask you something. You just reminded me of it. Is it true that Holly is back in town? I heard her name being mentioned and I figured you would know if you’re always seeing Rick. I did a double take when I heard her name. I haven’t heard that in ages.”
I grinned despite myself. But then my mind wandered to what I’d done in bed, and I felt my face growing warm. I was glad that we were on the phone and not face to face.
“Yeah, she’s back. I actually took her for dinner the other night.”
“Ah, no way. That’s great. So, is she still the same old Holly from before? Big smile, bigger glasses?” he said and chuckled.
I shifted uncomfortably. “Uh, not quite.”
“Ooh, what does that mean?”
“Let’s just say that she’s not the same Holly from before. I mean, she’s the same person. Like she’s still a sweetheart with a heart of gold. I don’t think that side of her will ever change. But she’s . . . well . . . she’s different.” I wasn’t really sure how to say it, and I was starting to wish that I hadn’t said anything at all, but I couldn’t seem to help myself.
He laughed. “And by different, I’m assuming you mean hot.”
“Well, yeah, but I didn’t want to put it like that.”
“Why not? So, you want her, huh?”
“What? No, I don’t. I definitely don’t fancy her.”
“Oh, come on, dude, why are you on the defensive? I can tell that you want her. Your voice always goes an octave higher when you’re attracted to someone.”
I sighed. “I wouldn’t mind seeing her again. But it’s fucked up, man.”
“Why? I thought you said she was amazing.”
“She is. She really is. But, she’s my stepsister.”
“What? No, she’s not,” he said and then groaned. “Oh come on, you don’t really think that, do you? You see, Rick is putting all these funny notions in your head that don’t belong there.”
“Rick has nothing to do with it. He’s the one that told me to take her out.”
“He did? The dirty son of a . . . .”
“Actually, he wanted me to set her up with one of my firefighter friends.”
“Oh yeah? And did you?”
“Nah, I took her out to dinner myself.”
“Good on you. That’s the Xavier I know. So what’s the problem? Why don’t you ask her out again? Rick already loves you, and it’s obvious you think she’s cool.”
“I don’t know man. She probably still thinks of me like her big brother.”
“Stop being a pansy. Ask her out.”
I laughed. “I’ll think about it. But maybe I’ll meet someone at the bar tonight.”
“Nothing wrong with that either. Cool man, I better go, so I’ll see you later then?”
“For sure.”
The moment I put the phone down, I called Kenny to let him know about the bar. He was delighted that I had taken the initiative for the first time. It was always him begging me to go out with him and not the other way around.
“I’m definitely up for it. And it will be good to see your brother again even if it means listening to that horrible country music.”
I laughed. “It’s actually pretty good.”
“Party time!”
“Well, for you maybe. I’m the designated driver.”
“Who designated you?”
“I designated myself. No more getting into trouble for me. This way I’m assured that I won’t drink too much.”
Kenny sighed. “You’re far too mature these days. I miss the old Xavier. Are you at least going to get with a girl?”
“Now that I might do.”
“That’s more like it!”
I put the phone down and decided that perhaps I would try even harder to get a girl that night. Kenny would probably help me anyway. I needed to find someone soon so that I stopped thinking about Holly. She was my sister, and the last thing I needed was to be thought of as a creep. Rick would flip his lid if he knew the thoughts I was having about his daughter, and there was a big chance that Holly would be disgusted too. I just needed to meet someone who could take my mind off her. If that meant getting off with a complete stranger, then so be it. I hadn’t done something like that in a long time, and it was about time that I let loose a bit.