"You need another brat?" Steve used tongs to grab a sausage off the grill and held it out to me.

"No, thanks." I tilted my empty plate toward the picnic table where we'd laid out a spread of food. "You all packed up?"

As I refilled my plate with melon and cookies, Steve told me about the apartment he was renting. He was moving to Madison in the morning and starting law school in a few weeks. By Wednesday, all of us would be moved out. After three years, our group was disbanding. Teresa and Mark had already left town. And of course Claudia had moved in with her sister. Sean was staying, since he owned the building and had a sweet penthouse. But he'd already rented the apartments to new people.

This would be our last Saturday night cookout. My chest hurt if I thought about it too much, so I focused on picking seeds out of my watermelon and Steve's description of the crown molding in his new place. I wasn't entirely sure what crown molding was — it was either at the top or bottom of walls, but I could never remember which — but it beat thinking about how next weekend only Huan, Claudia and I would still be in Milwaukee.

Yet the only one I really wanted to see was Claudia.

We'd texted briefly on Thursday and she said she had to work until 5:00, but was coming after that. I picked at another watermelon seed so I wouldn't check the time on my phone. Again.

Robbie joined us and clapped a hand on my shoulder. "So how long until you guys come visit me in Colorado? You gonna make me wait until ski season?"

Steve snorted. "I'm sure my profs will love it if I skip out on classes for a few days to go visit you and your pot shop."

A former swimming teammate of ours had moved to Colorado a year ago and was running a marijuana dispensary in Vail. Robbie was going out to join him. He insisted since recreational pot was legal there, it was no different than Sean owning a brewery. Their mom had been hanging around the building a lot in the past few weeks, very vocally disagreeing with him.

"What about you, man?"

"While it's a tempting offer since I don't smoke pot," I said as insincerely as possible, "I have the same problem as Steve. I'm all registered for classes this fall. And my new job doesn't exactly come with paid vacation."

In the past week, I'd met with an advisor at UWM and worked out a plan to complete the Therapeutic Recreation certificate in a year, including summer school next year. And on Monday I was starting a new job as personal trainer with a local gym. It paid better than Durdee Work, and actually used my degree. I hoped to teach a few of the aquatic classes, but first I had to prove myself for a few months.

We fell into our usual conversation and banter, and I mostly relaxed and enjoyed this last night with the guys who had been my best friends for over three years. But a piece of my attention was always on the path that lead from the street to the backyard where we were.

6:00 came and went. Then 7:00. And still no Claudia. No call, no text explaining where she was.

The ache in my chest was ridiculous. She wasn't leaving. She probably wouldn't want to slip off and have a long, involved conversation tonight anyway. These were her friends too; she'd want to say good-bye. We could talk another time. But damn, I missed her.

And then she was there.

She paused when she hit the backyard, looking around. It gave me the opportunity to drink her in. She had her fiery hair long and loose, the way I liked it best. She had on strappy silver sandals that somehow made her long legs look even longer. Or maybe that was her short shorts. Either way, her legs went on forever, and I couldn't stop thinking about them draped over my shoulders as I kissed her between her legs.

I shoved that image from my head before I got hard standing around with a group of guys.

When her gaze fell on me and our eyes met, I felt it through my entire body. My skin buzzed with awareness and the ache in my chest grew heavier. I wanted to keep looking at her, just look, because it had been so long. At the same time, I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her and tell her I loved her and never ever let her go.

Instead, I forced a casual smile and wave. "Hey."

Heading toward us, she smiled back. "Hey, guys."

Everyone came over to say hi and ask her about her new job, since none of us had seen her. Having her so close and not being able to touch her was almost worse. But it wasn't the guys' fault.

After the blow up with Olivia and Claudia at the bar, I'd told Huan the whole story. And because we lived together, because he'd been around to listen to my bitching and moaning about my decision, he knew I hadn't seen Claudia. But I hadn't said anything to the other guys. Huan was my best friend, but the rest didn't need to know Claudia and my private business.

Another torturous hour passed before I finally got to be alone with her. Everyone else had wandered off for more food or a fresh beer. For a long moment, we just looked at each other. It felt like there wasn't enough air in the yard to catch my breath. Like my chest was splitting open and everything I felt, everything I wanted to say was spilling out.

Her top was some kind of soft, flowy blue thing that made her eyes electric. In the twilight, they almost seemed to glow. Like they had at Darcy's wedding.

It was possible I had already been falling in love with her then, back on our first night together.

Now those glowing blue eyes seemed to be telling me something too. I knew what I wanted them to be saying. And I thought maybe they were. But until we could talk, until I knew for sure she felt the same as I did, the widening ache would remain.

Finally I couldn't stand not touching her. She'd hugged all the other guys. No reason I couldn't hug her. "It's good to see you."

I slid my arm around her back and drew her to me. The shock of having her in my arms sent a shudder through me. My other hand went to her soft hair as her arms wrapped around my waist.

"It's good to see you too." Her voice was muffled against my shoulder. It sent another shudder through me.

Her top scooped low in back, and I couldn't stop myself from tracing my finger along the edge of the fabric, over her soft skin. This time, she shuddered. Pulling back, she whispered my name.

It took everything in me not to crush my mouth to hers. Instead, I put everything I was feeling into my gaze as I looked down at her.

The heat and longing in her eyes felt like a sledgehammer to the chest. I had to step back or I'd lose my very iffy hold on my control. "We need to talk. Do you want a drink? Or we could go talk right now. There's no one in my apartment, so we don't have to worry about someone interrupting us, and—"

"AJ." She grabbed my hand and I felt the touch everywhere. Especially my balls, which were getting tighter by the second. I needed to get her inside before I popped a woody.

She started toward the back door to the building, tugging me along with her. As I followed, Huan caught my eye and gave me an exaggerated wink.

I pointed at him as Claudia pulled me toward the door. "Maybe you might want to hang out here for a while. Like, a long while. We can, uh, let you know when we're—"

"Go get laid. I promise, I don't want any part of that."

Claudia and I had reached the door, so I didn't have time to tell him there was a good chance I wasn't getting laid. We had a lot of talking to do first.

As soon as my apartment door shut behind us, I tugged her around to face me. I had to see her face and try to read her reaction when I told her.

But before I could get a word out, she pushed me back against the door and kissed me.

* * *

Claudia

I don't know why I was so scared to hear what his decision was. I'd been preparing myself for almost a month for the possibility of losing him for good. I'd almost convinced myself it wouldn't hurt that much.

But now, seeing him, touching him, kissing him, I knew it was going to rip me apart. From the moment we met in the dorm cafeteria, he'd been my best friend. It would have been hard enough letting him go if he'd gone to Indiana to swim. But now that he was doing something else, and now that I'd fallen so crazy in love with him, I hurt everywhere, every time I tried to imagine life without AJ.

I needed one more time with him before I could hear his decision.

He didn't resist when I started backing toward his bedroom, my lips never leaving his. He simply lifted me and took over, carrying me as his legs ate up the space.

He set me down next to the bed and immediately his hands were under my loose shirt, skin on skin. I was hot and achy and wet and everything inside me felt too tight. I needed this faster. I needed clothes ripping off and him fucking me. Now.

I shoved my hands in the back of his shorts, under his boxer briefs, running over the smooth skin of his ass. The muscles tightened under my touch, bunching and shifting as he wriggled to help me get them off. Then he took his turn ridding me of my shorts and panties.

One long finger slid through my wetness and I ripped my mouth away from his to moan. He trailed his mouth down the side of my neck, biting kisses that made me want to crawl out of my too-tight, too-hot skin.

Abruptly, he stepped back, pulling his finger from me. He removed my shirt, then his, and then his hot, sparkling eyes moved over every inch of my nakedness.

"Fuck, Claudia. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you naked."

Not exactly the declaration I was looking for, but it was something. It was hot enough to make me tremble. I had to sit on the edge of the bed.

Before I could scoot back to make room for him, he dropped to his knees between mine. He ran his hands up the inside of my thighs, spreading them, until his fingers reached my wet curls.

Gasping his name, I fell back on my elbows. But I couldn't take my eyes from his. His scorching gaze held me as his thumbs teased me.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about that sound you make right before you come."

Holy shit, he was trying to set me on fire with nothing but words.

"If you're not opposed" — he hooked one leg over his shoulder and licked a path from my knee up to the crease where my leg met my torso, making me tremble everywhere — "I'd like to make you make that sound right now."

His expression was casual, like he'd asked if I was agreeable to ordering pizza. "Please," I managed to gasp.

A smile pulled at his lips, but never fully formed. "Thank you."

I knew it was coming, but the long, wet slide of his tongue over me was still enough of a shock, it stole my breath. I fell back on the bed, arching into him as he did it again. After a third slow lick, he sucked my clit into his mouth and I could no longer keep my eyes open.

Holding me open with one hand, his fingers making small teasing motions over my lips, he alternated between licking and sucking, in a rhythm that brought me high, higher, so close. But it wasn't…quite…enough.

I cried out, my fingers digging into his hair. It had grown in the month we were apart, long enough now for me to slide my fingers through it. "AJ," I gasped.

He lifted his head, grinning. "That's the sound." His mouth was shiny with my juices and looking at him, the man who had become everything to me, grinning between my legs as he brought me pleasure, tossed me even higher. I was as close as I could get without going over.

I lifted my hips, bumping my clit against his chin. Need speared through me, powerful. "AJ. Don't let me come without you."

He must've understood what I was saying, because in the next instant, he shoved two fingers inside me and pressed his tongue to my clit. Stroking from the inside, he circled me on the outside until my vision dimmed and the sound he desired came on staccato repeat from my throat.

I clutched at his hair, not caring if I was pulling too hard, as I hurtled toward the orgasm that seemed just out of reach. "Please," I sobbed.

"Now." He sucked me into his mouth, hard, and the sharp sensation was what I needed.

For one perfect moment, everything held still as the orgasm gripped me. I floated, suspended in the wild sensations, until it broke and crashed. Pleasure and fire and the rush of my blood in my ears poured over me as I shook with release. And as far away as his voice sounded, AJ was right there with me, holding me, drawing out the perfection of the moment.

I hadn't even caught my breath when his mouth covered mine, my taste filling me as thoroughly as his tongue. He pulled me to the center of the bed with him and settled between my sprawled legs, his cock rubbing through my wetness.

He sank his teeth into my lower lip, then drew back. Forehead to mine, he whispered, "I can't wait. I need you too much."

Exhausted though I was, I found the energy to lift my knees and use them to squeeze his hips. "Take me."

My eyes fluttered open in time to see the intensity on his face as he looked down at me. I stopped breathing. I wasn't even aware of my hand lifting to touch his face until I saw it there.

With agonizing slowness, he slid inside me. Our gazes held, linking us further, as our bodies connected. I couldn't see beyond him, my world reduced to immense pleasure and intense emotion.

When he was fully inside, he pressed his groin to mine and swiveled in a circle that shot pinpricks of pleasure down my legs. My eyelids fluttered, but his hand on my cheek drew me back.

"Claudia," he breathed, my name a reverent exhale. "Look at me."

I leaned my face into his hand and forced my lids open. His expression was so intense, his shining brown eyes so full of emotion, I could barely breathe.

"I am so in love with you, Claudia. You're the one who gives me the permission and confidence to be my complete self. You always have been."

My chest expanded so rapidly, I felt like it would burst. Everything was hot and tingling and completely overwhelming. I opened my mouth, but no words could find their way out.

I love you too, AJ. With every piece of my soul, my brain screamed. But all that came out of my mouth was a warbling sound. So I tried to put the emotion into my eyes, and I kissed him, using my mouth to tell him another way.

He sank into the kiss, and his body shifted until he sank deeper into me. Together, we began to move. I raised up to meet each thrust, and my hands roamed his body, telling him through touch how much I needed him. It was the same amazing sex we always had, but today it was different. Not just because we'd been apart, though he did have a desperate edge to his movements. But that wasn't all.

It was different because for the first time, we were making love.

With that realization, something released inside me. I pushed at his shoulder until he rolled to his back, pulling me on top of him. Bracing my hands on his shoulders, I leaned over him, my hair falling around us to add an extra layer of intimacy.

With my lips brushing his, I said, "I love you too, AJ. So much."

A hesitant smile made his mouth twitch. "Yeah?"

I smiled back, though it faltered when his thrust caught my g-spot. "Yeah," I moaned, drawing out the word as I ground against him, prolonging the sensation.

"Is that yeah, as in that feels good, or yeah, as in you do love me?" He slid his fingers between my cheeks, one pressing against me exactly where he knew I liked it most.

For a long time, I couldn't answer. Our hands groped each other as we raced toward orgasm, the gasps he loved again coming from my throat.

"That's it, babe. Just like that." He lifted his head and pulled my nipple into his mouth. And sucked hard.

Fireworks and glitter exploded in my head, fire burning through my veins. "Oh, fuck, AJ, that's so good I love you so fuck—"

He went rigid beneath me, hips jerking up into me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down to his chest as he shook with his own orgasm, making a sound of pure satisfaction.

We lay like that as minutes ticked by, me sprawled on his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me. Finally the chill on my sweaty skin made me shiver, so he helped me slide off him and under the blanket. After taking a moment to dispose of the condom, he slid in beside me.

Facing each other on our sides, he watched me with a reverent smile. "You really mean it? You love me too? That wasn't just sex?"

I slid my hand over his cheek. I might never get enough of touching him. "I do. I love you. You're my lobster."

He blinked at me, so I waited until he understood my Friends reference. Then he threw back his head and laughed, a long, deep laugh that shook his shoulders and belly. I joined in the laughter, and soon I was wrapped in his arms as the last of our chuckles drifted away.

Then the other issue we hadn't yet discussed crept back into my mind. My smile faded, though my cheeks still tingled from smiling so hard for so long.

"What?" His smile immediately disappeared.

"Are you…" I couldn't make the last word form. As if by not saying it, I could stop it from happening.

"Leaving?"

I managed a painful nod. I could go with him. Except I would have to leave MacArthur, which was basically my dream job. But how could I let him go?

"No."

I collapsed against him, limp with relief. I hugged him as tightly as I could, pressing my lips to his chest as tears welled in my eyes. I got to keep him and my job. Somehow, I'd done something right and gotten everything I didn't even know I wanted.

He kissed my forehead, then leaned back to look at me. "The thing is."

I froze. I didn't like the wary expression on his face. "What?"

He looked away, watching his finger as it traced up and down my arm. "You said I had to make my decision without taking you into consideration. And I tried. I really did. I truly believe this is the best thing for me, the best way to get the career I want."

He took a deep breath and dragged his gaze back to mine. "But I can't look you in the eye and say with absolute certainty that you weren't at all a consideration. To me, part of loving someone is thinking about how your decisions will affect them. So I'm sorry. I tried to do what you asked, but I won't lie and say that I did completely."

"It doesn't matter. It wasn't a fair thing for me to ask." I swallowed hard, trying to gather the courage to admit this to him. "I was scared I would fall apart if you did consider me as a factor, and then chose somewhere else. I couldn't handle the idea that I wouldn't be enough to sway you. Which is dumb, since we weren't even actually dating, but I—"

His mouth was soft and reassuring as it covered mine. He nibbled at my lips briefly, then drew back. "Miami has beaches and chicks in bikinis. And I still chose you."

Laughing, I shoved at his shoulder. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to him.

"So are we now? Actually dating? No more secret friends with benefits?" I ducked my chin and traced my finger down the center of his abdomen so he couldn't see my nervousness. Which was dumb. We'd admitted we were in love with each other. And after that night at the bar, our friends all knew about us.

He tilted my chin up so I had to look him in the eyes. With a smile so full of love it made me ache, he said, "Of course we're officially dating. After all, I'm your lobster."