I’m tangled up inside, feeling overjoyed and devastated, hopeful and ruined.

My night with Jude was just the salve my wounded heart needed. His warmth and strength were my anchor, and the rest of the world disappeared as he poured his emotions into me in ways I never knew possible.

It was physical sex: sweaty, deep, and mind-blowing. But there was something so much deeper to it that magnified everything.

When he kissed me good-bye before I slipped out of the room just before dawn, he told me everything would be okay. His eyes were the shade of dark steel, and the intensity I saw in his gaze made me believe him.

Lexi is waiting for me on my campaign bus, which is parked behind my Chicago campaign headquarters. She’s giving me a look of concern when I step on and hand her one of the two Starbucks cups I’m carrying.

“What’s going on?” she asks. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”

I sigh deeply and sit down across from her at the small kitchen table on the bus. I needed this time alone with her, before any of the other staffers arrive. I don’t know if I can continue my campaign, but I know Lexi will give me the straight advice I need.

“Yeah, it’s bad.”

“Someone found out about you and Jude?”

I shake my head. “My father’s been having an affair. A long-term one. He has two kids with this woman. Actually, they’re not really kids anymore.”

“Holy shit,” Lexi says, her eyes wide with shock. “I can’t believe it.”

“I couldn’t either.”

“How did you find out?”

“I overheard Carl telling Jude he had photos.”

Lexi’s hands fly up and land on her cheeks. “What? We’re fucked. Like brutally ass-fucked.”

“No. I mean…yeah, but not like that. Jude told Carl not to release the photos.”

“Oh, Reagan.” Lexi’s voice is full of pity as she reaches across the table and takes my hand. “Are you sure you can trust him?”

“I’m sure. We…spent the night together last night.”

“Wow. Okay.” She takes a deep breath. “So that’s…also not ideal, but I understand, given the circumstances.”

“Lex, I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

She lowers her brows in a skeptical look. “What are you talking about?”

“The campaign. I mean, it’s over as we knew it, anyway. I gave my dad twenty-four hours to tell my mom or I’m telling her myself. And once she finds out, I assume she’ll leave him. She will. I know her well enough to know that. And once the reporters start digging, they’ll find out about the other woman. I’m shocked he’s managed to keep it a secret all this time.”

“But that’s him, Reagan, not you. You’ll lose some votes over it, but we’ll pick them up somewhere else.”

I run a hand through my hair and give her a tired smile. “Thank you. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. But I don’t think it’s meant to be.”

“Reagan, no,” Lexi says firmly. “You want this. You’ve fought too hard to quit now.”

“It was all for my father. He pushed me to run before I was ready because he owes people votes he can’t cast himself once he retires.”

Lexi’s expression darkens. “What an asshole.”

“I agree. And I don’t even want to go there. If I got elected and I voted a certain way—with no influence from my father—how could I prove there was no influence? The Preston name will be tainted by this scandal.”

“His name, yes. But you can survive this. I know you can.”

I take a long sip of my coffee, letting the warmth reach my belly before I speak again. “I probably could. Or I could at least fight to the finish. But, Lex…I don’t want to. As soon as the strings between my dad and me were cut, I felt so much lighter. I realized I don’t have to run now. This is my chance to decide what I want to do with my life. I never really had that before.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

I look down at the table. “I feel like I’m letting you and the whole staff down. Dropping out when I’m leading in the polls is…” I shake my head. “The national party people will never forgive me. This will be the end of my political career.”

Lexi shrugs and smiles. “If you want it to be. Never say never. You might come back in ten years and run…or not. Who knows?”

“We have to decide what to tell the staff. I’m not willing to tell them the whole story. My mom deserves privacy until the story breaks.”

“Just say it’s for personal reasons. You don’t owe anyone more information than that.”

“I feel like I do, though.” I look out the window at the sun, rising higher over the horizon. “These people have given up a lot for me. Gone to bat for me. And they’re all going to be out of a job.”

“So maybe we wait it out a little bit.”

“I can’t keep campaigning,” I say, sighing. “My heart’s just not in it anymore.”

“We can cancel appearances for the next week, and you can take a leave.”

“You think?”

The prospect of catching my breath and getting through my mom’s reaction to Dad’s news before thinking about this does sound better.

“Yeah,” Lexi says. “Let’s take some time to let the dust settle.”

“Okay. I like that plan.”

“Why don’t we go get breakfast while we wait for everyone to get here? When they do, we’ll tell them about the leave.”

We walk to a nearby diner and get pancakes. Talking and laughing with Lexi feels good. It reminds me that I do have more in my life than my work.

Work has always been my driving force—the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning. But lately, Jude has taken over my early morning thoughts. Hell, he takes up my thoughts throughout the day.

I can smell his light, masculine scent on me. I just couldn’t get close enough to him last night, even when my body was entwined with his and he was inside me. He started a fire inside me and then stoked the flames with his mouth, hands and…

“How big is he?” Lexi asks me as we’re finishing up our pancakes.

“Big. And he knows how to use it.”

“Bigger than your mystery guy?”

My smile fades. I couldn’t tell Lexi the truth about Tom and me in college. I couldn’t tell anyone, because Tom’s career was on the line.

“My mystery guy,” I say softly. “Yes, Jude is definitely bigger than him.”

“Good. That asshole broke your heart. I remember you crying for weeks over him.”

“More like days.”

“Seemed like weeks to me. Whoever he is, I hate him.”

I smile. “Yes, you do.”

She narrows her eyes at me. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“Because the mystery guy who was my first…was Tom.”

Lexi sits back against her side of the booth. “What the fuck? What the actual, ever-loving fuck do you mean it was Tom? As in, Tom Tom?”

“Yeah.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I couldn’t back then. He told me he’d lose his job if I told anyone.”

“He’s gonna lose his nut sac. I will enjoy sawing it off slowly now that I know he was the asshole who broke your heart.”

I laugh at the visual. “Lex, I love you. But the Tom thing…I’m over it. Completely over it. Now that I have Jude, none of that stupid shit from the past matters anymore.”

“So it’s serious with you guys?”

I can’t help the huge grin that spreads across my face. “I think so. I hope so.”

“I’m happy for you. You deserve a patch of sunshine in the middle of this shitstorm.”

“Thanks.”

My phone buzzes with a text. A couple seconds later, Lexi’s does, too. I look down at my screen.

Tom Harbor: Get to the bus now. Don’t answer your phone unless you know the caller.

“Tom says we need to get to the bus,” Lexi says, looking up from her phone.

“Yeah, I got the same message.”

I pay our check quickly, and we walk back to the bus. As soon as I step on and look around at the faces of the staff, I know something is very wrong.

“What’s going on?” I ask Tom.

Even Tom, who’s usually cool under pressure, looks rattled. He passes me his phone, and I look down at the news story on the screen. My eyes scan over the headline and go straight to the photos.

The photos of my dad and his secret daughter are staring me in the face. He’s kissing her forehead in one, wrapping his arm around her in another, and beaming happily at her in a third.

I feel sick. I reach for the wall to keep my balance.

“I’m so sorry, Reagan,” Tom says, sounding sincere. “This is a shitty way to find this out.”

The bus is silent. Should I tell them I already knew? No, because then I’d have to tell them about Jude and me.

“Guys, Reagan needs some time,” Lexi says. “This is a shock to all of us. We’ll put out a press release that she’s taking a week away from the campaign. Everyone lay low, don’t speak one word to the media and wait to hear from me or Tom.”

The staffers all head for the door of the bus, most of them looking as numb as I feel.

“Sorry, Reagan,” Claire mumbles as she walks past me.

Just Lexi, Tom, and I are left when I feel my eyes flood with hot tears. I can’t process seeing the photos Jude told me he’d bury plastered all over the news.

“I can’t believe he did this to me,” I say, my voice breaking. “He gave me his word. I can’t…”

“What do you mean?” Tom asks.

Lexi steps in quickly. “She means her father, of course.”

“Gave you his word? This isn’t his first affair?” Tom shakes his head in disgust. “Bastard could have at least told me.”

“Speaking of bastards,” Lexi says, “Tom, you need to leave, too.”

“Leave?” He shakes his head. “No, we’ve got to start damage control. This is gonna hurt us pretty bad, but we can mitigate things.”

“I’m taking a week away,” I say sharply. “Away from the campaign. That means away from you.”

“This is a Senate seat the party needs to hold, so you don’t get that luxury, sweetheart.”

“Get the fuck off my bus,” I say, my tone low and level. “Go. Right now.”

“You need me to manage this, Reagan.”

“Manage it all you want, Tom. Just don’t expect anything from me. I’m taking a week away.”

“Those photos came from the Titan campaign. You know that, right?”

I swallow hard, but I can’t keep a couple tears from escaping. “I know that, yes.”

“And we have to hit back twice as hard.”

“I’ll talk to you in a week, Tom.”

He holds my gaze for a few seconds in what feels like a power play, but then he finally walks to the door and leaves.

I sit down and close my eyes. “Was he just playing me this whole time? Getting me to fall in love with him so he could ruin me completely?”

Lexi doesn’t answer, but then, what can she say? She warned me, and I didn’t listen.

My phone buzzes with a text, and I check it.

Dad: Nice of your boyfriend to leak those photos. Hell of a way for your mother to find out.

I fire back an angry text.

Me: How many times could you have told her in the past 22 fucking years, Dad?

He doesn’t respond.

“Let’s go to my place,” Lexi says gently. “You need some sleep.”

I nod numbly and hand her my phone.

“Keep this for now. I just can’t.”

She slides it into her purse, and we walk to her car. Once I’m safely buried under the covers of Lexi’s bed, I’ll cry. But for now, I can’t even think of any words to say.

This slap in the face from Jude stings like nothing ever has before.