CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Sadie

Telling Garret about Graham was harder than I imagined. This has not only been the longest day in history, but the most emotionally draining since I lost Mom. I hate knowing there's still so much I need to tell him, but for now, things seem okay. Garret’s been close by me all day, and I love that about him, but I need just a few minutes of alone time.

We came back to his place about an hour ago, and while he takes a shower, I’m relaxing on his back porch swing. The cool breeze swirls around me, and I bask in the silence of his property.

My cell phone beeps from the spot next to me, a text from my mom’s lawyer. I called him after dropping the box off at Garret’s, but he didn’t answer, so I left him a lengthy and tear-filled voicemail.

Mitchell: I’m proud of you, Sadie. I’ll get the papers drawn up and sent to you Monday.

Sadie: Thank you. Garret is going to help me file a restraining order.

Mitchell: Good.

Sadie: I’ll talk to you on Monday, okay?

Mitchell: Sounds good.

Locking the screen, I place it back down and pump my legs, my bare feet nowhere near the deck. Leaning my head back against the cushion, I close my eyes and just enjoy the moment. For the first time in what feels like forever, I can finally breathe.

Everything is going to be okay.

The sound of the slider door has my eyes opening. Garret steps onto the porch in a pair of cotton shorts and an old Walker’s Taphouse tee. He has a piece of paper in his hand as he comes over to me. “I was gonna order dinner. You feel like pizza?”

“Sure. Where are you getting it from?”

“That place over on Memorial. They have the best Hawaiian in town.”

“Okay.”

“Be right back.”

He goes inside to place the order and when he comes back out, I move my phone so there's room for him. Garret sits and puts a leg behind me, pulling me back against his chest.

“Should be here in twenty minutes.”

“Perfect.”

“Sadie.” Every time he says my name, I get a tingly feeling, something I never felt when he was calling me Nacole. Now he knows who I am, and there’s no more pretending.

“What?”

“There’s something I need to say, so just listen for a minute, all right?” I nod and he kisses the back of my neck. “I know my anger this morning scared you, and I can’t stop feeling like the world’s biggest dick.”

I turn to face him and he kisses my nose. “I wasn’t—"

“I saw the look on your face, and while it didn’t register until after, I know what I saw. You know I would never hurt you, right? You’re safe with me.”

“I know that, Garret. You’re a good man.”

“I’m so sorry for scaring you. Forgive me.”

I trace a finger along his jaw, then give him a soft kiss. “Nothing to forgive. I deserved the anger, and I know you wouldn’t hurt me like that. I trust you with everything I have.”

“I’d die before laying a finger on you in anger.”

“I know.”

Dinner arrives soon after, and we eat on the porch, the night air calm and quiet.

Hours later, I lie awake in bed next to him, his soft snores filling the room. Even in the dark room, I can make out his features, and I just stare at him, completely content. He’s on his back in just a pair of boxer briefs, the blanket pulled down to his waist. Rolling toward him, I sling my arm over him, and in his sleep, he pulls me closer. Closing my eyes, I try to sleep but I just can’t. Restless, I shift around until I’m more comfortable, and I hear Garret’s husky chuckle.

“If you wanted to get laid, you could've just asked, baby,” he mumbles, and his arm comes down to rub up and down my bare thigh.

My skin prickles with goose bumps and I laugh. “You wish, buddy.”

Rolling over, I try to get comfortable once more, but Garret scoots behind me, grabbing my hip to pull me back against him. His erection presses against my lower back and I groan, shifting my hips back on it. He laughs and pulls me back even farther, slipping his arm under my head, cradling me to him.

“I think you wish too, babe.”

His hand on my hip slowly slides up my side, only stopping when he reaches the shirt I wore to bed, slipping under it. The second his hand makes contact with my bare breast, I’m done for. His fingertips tease the side of my breast, my breath coming in shallow pants. His hips flex with his movement, and I rock back against him, the sound of his quiet groans causing my heart to race.

“Garret….”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I need you.”

“Yeah?”

“Inside. Right now. Please.”

Turning my face to him, he takes my mouth with a passion that causes my stomach to clench. I’m soaking wet and trembling with the need for him to fill me.

“Take off your panties. Now.”

His weight against my back is gone, and I do as he says. The sound of the end table opening has me spreading my legs, the ache unbearable. Not wanting to wait, I trail my hand down my body and don’t stop until I’m running my middle finger through my wetness, circling my clit. Biting down on my bottom lip, I let out a moan and Garret growls from the side of the bed.

“You better not be doing what I think you’re doing.”

“Hurry up,” I moan, my fingers moving harder and faster, my hips bucking on their own accord. Garret is on the bed in seconds, rolling me back over to my side. Moving behind me, he grabs my leg and pulls it over his hip, opening me to him. His calloused hand comes around my waist and dips down, teasing my body. One of his fingers runs down to where I need him most and traces around my clit, barely applying any pressure.

“Garret….”

That same finger moves down to my opening and he slides it inside, hooking his finger on every pump. Throwing my head back, I gasp when he adds a second finger, pumping in time to the thrusting of my hips. His thumb attacks my clit at the same time, and I bite down on the back of my hand. Just before I go falling over the edge, he removes his hand and I feel him fumbling around behind me. The thick head of his cock nudges me from behind and I arch my back, making it easier for him to slip in.

“Shit,” he groans, and now it’s my turn to laugh.

“You okay back there?”

“So fucking good,” he tells me, hips beginning a lazy thrust. Keeping me cradled in his arms, he takes me with long, slow strokes, setting my body on fire with each one. It’s obvious from the sounds we’re both making that this won’t last long. We’re too worked up.

“Harder,” I demand, but he shakes his head, pressing his cheek to my shoulder.

“No, I want this to last. It’ll be over in a heartbeat if I go any faster.”

“Please,” I whine, and he moves impossibly slower.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he rasps, lips sliding to the back of my neck. He releases my hip to flick my clit in time with his thrusts, and I cry out, my body tightening. I know it won’t be much longer.

“That’s it, baby. You’re so close.”

I have no idea how he knows my body so well, but I don’t question it. His thumb begins making hard, fast circles and I’m coming, his name vibrating off the walls with my release. His wet lips press between my shoulder blades, and the harsh breaths against my skin tell me he’s just as close.

Taking my only free hand, I reach behind me and run my fingers over the sensitive skin of his sac. The moan he releases has my body jerking with an aftershock, and I run my fingernails over the tight skin.

“Fuck.” With a handful of hard thrusts, his hand tightens on my waist and he jerks me back against him, bottoming out with a harsh groan, his release tearing through his body. Garret’s hips jerk against me as he rides out his orgasm, and I go limp, my entire body wrung out.

Lying together, we both pant and I start giggling.

“Care to tell me why you’re laughing when your boyfriend is still inside of you?”

“I have no idea,” I tell him.

He pulls out, dropping a kiss to my lips. “Goofball.”

Climbing off the bed, he moves to the bathroom and I roll over, grabbing my discarded panties from the floor. Pulling them on, I yank the blankets over me, my eyes now heavy and tired.

I’m falling into a deep sleep when Garret’s deep voice washes over me.

“Night, sweetheart.”

§

A week later, I head into work and go straight for Brody’s office. Knocking on the door, I’m told to come in, so I open it and step inside.

“Hey, Brody, I was wondering if you had a minute to talk?” I ask.

Brody motions to the chair across from him and I sit down. Almost three months ago, I was sitting here interviewing for a job, and now I sit here ready to tell him the truth.

“What’s on your mind, Nacole?”

Taking a deep breath, I reach into my purse and pull out my license, placing it on the desk in front of him. He gives me a look of confusion.

“My full name is Sadie Nacole Ward. I moved here from San Diego to get away from my abusive husband of seven years. I’m filing for divorce tomorrow, and I’m falling in love with your brother. I’ve been lying since the day I walked in here, and if you want to fire me, I completely understand. But I told Garret the truth, and it’s time I told you too. I’m sorry, Brody, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

The words spill out of my mouth in a rush, and I look up to see Brody staring at me, an unrecognizable look on his face. Then his features morph into sadness.

“Well fuck.”

I look down at my hands, knowing I have to face the consequences.

“Are you okay?”

His words shock me, and I look back up at him.

“What?”

“I can’t imagine how scared you must’ve been, moving here to start over, all alone. And I know you said before that you lost your mom suddenly beforehand too.”

“Yeah. It was terrifying, but I had to get away from him.”

“I’m glad you did. I know it must be hard to come clean, but you have a ton of people in your corner. We’re all behind you, 100 percent.”

“Thank you. I’m so glad I met you all. It’s been life changing.”

“Yeah, I get the feeling you’ve been pretty life changing for that brother of mine,” he says with a laugh, and I blush, my cheeks on fire.

“I hope so.”

“Trust me. I have never seen my brother the way he is with you. For so long, his career was his life. And don’t get me wrong, if he makes detective, it'll only cement that, but I think you’re it for him. I see it in his face when he talks about you.”

“We’ll see,” I tell him, standing.

Brody gets up so he can come hug me, then holds me out at arm’s length. “I’m glad you told me. Don’t ever be afraid to confide in me or Linds. We got you.”

I turn to leave when he grabs my arm.

“Oh, and Sadie? It’s nice to finally meet the real you.” He winks and sits back down at his desk.

Leaving his office, I head out to the bar area to grab an apron. Tying it around my waist, I turn when the bell jingles on the door. Nate, the night manager and bartender, comes walking in, a backpack over his shoulder. I wave to him and head over to my first table of the night.

“Hi, I’m Sadie, and I’ll be taking care of you this evening. Can I start you off with something to drink?”

And with that one sentence, I find myself again.

§

“Hey, you.” Garret steps inside my living room, a black duffel in his hand. Jumping off the couch, I launch myself at him and he grabs me, my legs winding around his waist. He gives me a quick kiss and laughs when I smile against his mouth. “Miss me?”

“Mmhmm. I made dinner. Are you hungry?”

“Starving. What’d you make?”

“Chicken parmesan.”

“Sounds perfect.” Tossing his bag on the couch, he walks behind me into the kitchen. I set the table, the food still hot since I just took it out of the oven. Grabbing the plates, I hand him one and he digs in. I reach into the fridge for a couple of water and set them down, moving to grab my own food when he pulls me onto his lap, cupping my cheek.

“Thank you for dinner, babe. I appreciate it so much.”

“Of course.”

I wrap my arm around his shoulders and press my forehead to his. Garret is always going out of his way to thank me for the little things, making sure I know how much he appreciates me. How much he cares about me. It’s something I haven’t felt in a very long time, and it’s certainly making me fall harder for him every day. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t in love with him, because I have no doubt in my mind. How could I not?

He’s the most incredible person I’ve ever known, and each day with him is like a tiny slice of my own heaven. I know he’s in love with me too, but we’ve never actually spoken those words. But he doesn’t need to. He says them every day in the way he acts. The way he holds doors open for me, makes me breakfast on the weekend, and always holds me every night.

And I know my mom would've loved him.

Rising from his lap, I grab myself some dinner and bring it back to the table, sitting across from him. I take a bite and groan, chicken parm one of my favorite meals.

“Are you working tomorrow night?” Garret asks, taking a sip of water.

“Nope. Why?”

“Hunter is having a huge get-together, and Brody was passing on a message from him that we’re invited. I know you and Carmen get along well.”

“I’d love to go,” I say, cutting another bite of chicken.

“Great.” Garret’s grin is infectious, and I smile back at him.

“What?”

“Nothing. You’ve just… I don’t know. You’re so different lately.”

“Different?”

“That was a bad choice of words. You just seem so—"

“Happy?”

Garret nods and leans back in his chair. “Yeah. Like this huge weight was lifted off your shoulders. And I gotta say, I love everything about it.”

“It’s because of you, you nut. You’re what makes me so happy.”

“Same here, Sades.”

Sades. Well that’s new. And I love it.

§

“Graham, stop. Please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

He knocks me to the ground, his foot connecting with a painful kick to my side. Crying, I roll over and clutch myself, curling into the fetal position.

“You fuck everything up, Sadie. Goddamn useless piece of shit. I ask you to do one thing and you can’t even manage to not screw it up. Christ, I don’t know how to get through to you.”

I force myself up, pain searing through my side, and I cry out. “It wasn’t my fault. I told you the truth. They said your suit was mixed up with another order, and by the time I called it was too late. You have other suits, Graham.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he shouts, enunciating each word with a slap to my face, skin reddened with the hits. Turning on his heel, he leaves me alone in the bedroom, crying and broken.

Crawling to the end table, I find my cell phone and start to dial my mom, but then I remember. She’s gone. Never coming back.

And I’m all alone with Graham.

Jolting awake, I sit up straight, clutching my chest and breathing heavy from the terror of my dream. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I try to get myself under control, counting to ten, taking deep breaths. Folding over, I bury my face in my hands and will the tears to go away. It feels like all I’ve done lately is cry, and I’m so sick of it.

I’m just getting myself together when a warm hand touches my back, causing me to jump in fright.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

Sniffling, I climb back into bed and roll over, my face tucked into Garret’s chest.

“Yeah, bad dream is all. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Nothing to be sorry for.”

Garret runs his fingers through my hair and we lie together in silence, my brain running a thousand miles a minute. I’m tired, but I can’t fall asleep.

“You wanna talk about it?” he mumbles, and I shake my head.

“No.”

“Babe, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

Garret moves to rest on an elbow and peers down at me. “Have you thought about talking to somebody? A professional?”

“I already do. Carmen recommended her, and I’ve been seeing her once a week.”

“How's it going?”

“Well, I’m here, aren’t it?” I joke, and Garret pulls me back to his chest.

“Yeah, thank fuck for that.”

“Can I ask you something?” I whisper.

“Anything.”

“Dr. Klein asked if you would sit in on one of our sessions sometime. I’m always able to talk about everything best when she’s with me. Makes me feel extra safe. Would you come?”

“Of course, if that’s what you want.”

I burrow into his chest and listen to the thumping of his heart. “Dr. Klein thinks I need to share the things I’ve been keeping inside, and that I can’t really move past everything until I do. So yeah, it’s what I want.”

“Then I’m there, baby.”

He kisses my head, and we drift off to sleep in each other’s arms. My dreams are peaceful, no part of my past chasing me for the rest of the night.

§

Switching off the light, I step from the bathroom into Garret’s bedroom and head for where I left my sandals. Slipping them on my feet, I look up to see him watching me from the doorway.

“What?” I ask, tucking my hair behind my ear.

“You look stunning, Sades.”

I glance down at my outfit: jean shorts and a hunter-green tank top. Entirely basic.

“Thanks.” I blush.

Coming into the bedroom, he kisses my cheek and goes into the bathroom. He comes out a minute later, putting his watch on, and the scent of his cologne washes over me.

“Ready to roll?”

I nod and reach for the sweatshirt I left lying on his bed, folding it over my arm. We head downstairs and out to his truck, Garret locking the door behind him. I offered to drive tonight so he could drink with his buddies, so he holds the driver door open for me and we take off, the latest Keith Urban single blasting through the stereo.

Since I’ve been to Hunter and Carmen’s before, the drive is easy and in no time, we’re turning into the driveway, a bunch of other vehicles out front. Parking next to a large Ford, I shut the engine off and fiddle with my keys in my lap.

“Everything okay?” Garret asks, turning toward me, reaching out to calm my hands.

“I’m just realizing this is the first time I’ll see your friends since that barbeque Brody had. They met Nacole, not Sadie. What am I supposed to say to them?”

Understanding dawns on Garret’s face, and his thumb runs circles on the back of my hand. “Yeah, I had a feeling you’d be worried about that. I called Brody this morning, asked him to make sure everyone knew, but not to get into it with them. It’s nobody’s business unless you want them to know the details, okay?”

“Thank you, Garret.”

“Hey, you’re my girl. It’s my job to take care of you.”

Kissing his cheek, I climb out of the car and grab my sweatshirt from the back seat. Taking my hand in his, Garret walks us to the front door, ringing the doorbell when we reach it.

Carmen swings the door open a moment later with a huge smile followed by the tightest hug I’ve ever received. “I’m so glad you came, girl. Garret, thank you for coming too.” She reaches up to hug Garret and he pats her back, still holding tightly to my hand.

Yeah, that boyfriend of mine is one protective man. And I wouldn’t change a thing about him. I’ve never felt so loved or wanted in my entire life.

Carmen ushers us inside and brings us out to the backyard where a large crowd of people are hanging out. I notice Brody and Lindsey, and the other couple I met, Kennedy and Grayson, but there are others here I don’t know.

Garret squeezes my hand and looks down to wink at me. Bringing us over to Brody, he hugs his brother and Lindsey embraces me, whispering in my ear how proud she and Brody are of me. My cheeks heat at her words, and then Carmen drags us over to the people I don’t know.

She gestures to a really tall guy with blue eyes and a backward baseball cap, and he gives her a side hug. “Sadie, this is my older brother, Noah, and his wife, Aubrey. Guys, this is Garret’s girl, Sadie.”

“Hey, so nice to finally meet you.” Noah shakes my hand and Aubrey does the same, the petite blonde absolutely stunning. Carmen then grabs the other two men standing nearby. “And this is Aubrey’s brother, Landon, and his husband, Chase. Noah and Chase are firefighters at the same station as Hunt and Gray.”

Landon waves and smiles at me, but Chase steps forward and gives me a bear hug. Laughing, I brush my hair off my face, giving a small wave back at Landon.

“It’s nice to meet you all.”

Garret shakes hands with the guys, obviously knowing them all, and then he’s right back by my side. Brody comes over to the group and smacks Garret on the shoulder, offering him a beer. Garret takes it, and I notice he’s still holding my hand.

Is it normal to swoon over your own boyfriend?

Carmen hands me a bottled water and then drags me away from Garret to the other women, creating our own group. I give Garret a sympathetic glace and he feigns being sad. I roll my eyes and turn back to the girls.

“Okay, so you have to give us the scoop.” Kennedy says, taking a sip of her red wine.

“Scoop on what?” I ask, twisting the cap on my water.

“Girl, Aubrey and I have known this crew the longest—most of them, anyway—and Garret has always been the dark horse. No girlfriend, nothing. And your ass hooked him. Hard core. He can’t stop looking over here to see you. So, we need all the details.”

“I don’t know. There’s not much to tell, really. He’s just amazing. I know that seems vague, but it’s true. He’s incredible. He’s my own personal hero. And he hasn’t done anything but make me fall in love with him.”

A loud shout from behind me has us all turning, only to find Grayson horsing around with Garret. Gray has about three inches on Garret, so he easily pulls him to the ground, all the other guys hooting and hollering.

“Oh, for crying out loud, Gray. Grow up,” Kennedy groans, and we all laugh.

“What’s going on?” Carmen asks Hunter, and he flexes his muscles at her.

“Mr. Tough Cop here thinks Gray isn’t getting in a good enough pump at the station gym, so he bet him that he couldn’t bench press him.”

“What the hell is wrong with you guys?” Carmen laughs, shaking her head. Gray gets off the ground and tries to lift Garret, but instead he gets a knee to the balls, dropping with a loud shout.

“Oh please, I barely knocked those babies. They’re so far up there’s no way I hurt you that bad.” Garret jokes, laughing when Gray kicks at him.

Garret pulls himself off the ground, brushing his shirt off, but Brody grabs him around the neck, rubbing his fist on his head.

“Brody, what the hell, man?”

“Not so tough, are you, bro?”

“Not when you’re trying to rub a hole in my skull, fucker. Get off.”

But Brody doesn’t let up, and in seconds Garret fights against him, yelling loudly.

“Pineapple! Pineapple, asshole!”

Brody releases him and gives him a strange look. “What?”

“Pineapple is my safe word. Now back off.”

Covering my mouth with my hand, I start cracking up, Carmen dying next to me as well. Everyone is soon laughing along with us, and Garret just looks at everyone with a questioning glare.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, looking over at Brody, who seems just as lost.

“Dude, you just safe-worded your little brother. Didn’t know you guys rolled that way.” Hunter lets out a loud whoop and Garret starts laughing, realizing his mistake.

“Fuck no, that’s nasty,” he replies, and Hunter just shrugs.

“It’s cool, man. Carmen’s safe word is—"

“Hunter!”

Carmen is standing there with her hands on her hips, a murderous look in her eyes. Hunter pretends to lock his lips and she nods, laughing when Noah pretends to kill himself.

“I have an idea,” I say, and everyone turns to look at me. “Siblings on opposite sides of the room. None of you can be trusted.”

Brody laughs loudly and smacks Garret on the back. “I told you I liked this one, bro.”

Garret strides over to me and gives me a fast kiss, his smile wide and infectious.

The rest of the evening is filled with laughter and antics from the guys. I spend it with the girls, talking about anything and everything. I finally give in and tell them a bit about me and Garret, and by the end of the evening, I know I've found my place.