Chapter 15
Luke
I woke up early on Saturday and arrived at Starbucks just after it opened. When I got the coffee, I got doughnuts as well and drove through the city to Alexa’s place.
I wanted—no, needed—to see her again.
I’d followed her home after she’d left the club to be sure she’d get there safely. When I’d seen her walk in and lock the door behind her, I’d gone home, too.
I hadn’t been able to get her off my mind since then. The night we’d had together in the private room at Blush had surpassed every fantasy I’d ever had. That had been because Alexa was real. She wasn’t just some woman I’d picked up for a one-night stand or a person I fantasized about whose face I’d probably seen in a porno once.
I knew her better than I knew any of the women I’d fucked. I knew her better than any woman I’d known, even the few I’d had short relationships with. And I wanted her again. I wanted more of her, all of her.
And clearly, she’d wanted it, too. She’d come twice for me last night, and both times had been spectacular. She’d been so fucking hot, it had taken everything in me to control myself. But I wanted it to be special when I finally took her. As much as she seemed to want to rush into having sex, I knew easing her into it would make it better.
I felt bad that she didn’t know it was me. For all she knew, she’d been just this side of fucking a stranger last night. I didn’t know how she felt about it, which was one of the reasons I wanted to check up on her today. I wanted to see that she was all right.
But my motivation was more selfish than anything else.
And eventually, I would tell her who I was. I just couldn’t do it now.
She flashed before my eyes again—her breasts perfect in the dim lighting of the private room, her pussy bare and beautiful, cleanly shaven for what she’d been about to do.
Her mouth had been wrapped around my cock, those big blue eyes looking up at me, and it had been almost impossible not to come right then. Which meant I hadn’t come at all because I hadn’t wanted to take her immediately. So I’d gone home and jacked myself off, which had been grossly disappointing.
But I’d still gotten to touch her, to kiss her, to taste her. I’d done almost everything but fuck her last night, and I wanted to do so much more to her.
I parked the car and walked to her door with my stash. When I knocked, it took a moment before she opened. When the door did open, she stood before me looking tired, her eyes hooded with sleep and her hair tousled.
It looked like sex hair. God, I wished.
“I come bearing gifts,” I said, hoping she wouldn’t tell me to leave.
“It’s so early,” she complained, but she stepped out of the way and let me into her apartment. I walked to the living room and put the box of doughnuts and the coffee cups on the coffee table. I sat down on the couch and watched her make her way toward me.
She looked fantastic. She wore a T-shirt that barely covered her stomach, with no bra beneath it, and short shorts that made her legs look long and slender. She was so fucking sexy, sexier than I’d ever pictured her, and God knew I’d done that a lot of times.
I was getting hard. I had to stop thinking dirty thoughts about her or I was going to be in trouble. But I couldn’t help it. I wanted to fuck her. After how close I’d come last night, I wanted the real deal. But I couldn’t give away that it was me, so I had to hide my erection, pretend we were still just friends, and try not to think about getting her naked again.
“This much sugar in the morning can’t be good for you,” Alexa said, looking at the doughnuts.
“But it’s so good,” I said, taking one and biting into it.
She smiled at me and took one, too. She stuck out her tongue and licked the frosting. A shiver ran down my spine as I remembered what she’d done to me with that tongue last night.
“So, what brings you here so early?” Alexa asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I had a lot on my mind. I wanted a distraction.”
“Was it a woman?” she asked and slid her glance to me. I froze. Did she know?
But she was smiling, and I realized she was joking.
“Something like that,” I said. She was so much closer than she knew.
“I’m assuming you’re not dating now,” Alexa said.
“What makes you say that?”
She shrugged. “If I was your girlfriend, I would be pretty upset if you spent so much time looking after another woman—especially considering that she wasn’t actually your sister.”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “You’re right. I’m not dating right now. My relationships don’t really work you, you know?”
Alexa nodded. “Yeah, I get that. Mine don’t either.”
I looked up at her. That was interesting to know. “Why not?” I asked.
She looked up at me, half smiling, half frowning. “I’ll answer if you’ll answer,” she said.
I nodded. “Seems fair.”
She took a deep breath. “I’m scared true love doesn’t exist. I used to believe in it, but then my parents divorced when Dalton and I moved out, and it turned out that everything I’d grown up with, everything I thought was possible in a relationship, was a lie. So now I don’t last with men because I’m always waiting for them to mess up or leave me. And they always do.”
“Well,” I said, “don’t you think it’s because it’s what you expect of them?”
She shrugged. “Maybe.” She looked up at me, chewing. “Your turn.”
I did say that I would tell her.
“I didn’t have a good example to start off with,” I said. “The upside, I guess, is that I didn’t have the kind of disappointment you guys had.” Dalton had told me about how his family had fallen apart. I had the feeling it had affected Alexa more than him. “But on the other hand, I had nothing I could call a family in the first place, fake or not.”
Alexa frowned. “Why?”
I shrugged. “My dad is an asshole, my mom is vain, and neither of them seem to love each other. They’re not happily married, although they stick it out for some reason. Why do you think I spent so much time at your place all my life?”
She looked at me like that was a revelation.
“Did it bother you when my parents split up?” she asked.
I nodded. “A little. They were everything my parents never were. But in the end, we make our own happiness, right? I believe I can find love if it’s the right person. I don’t need my parents, or yours, to be happy for me to be happy.”
“And how is that working out for you?” Alexa asked. She was smiling again, keeping it light even though she was asking me hard questions.
“I’m pretty sure you can guess that I haven’t met her yet.”
Or maybe I have. Maybe Alexa was the woman I was supposed to be with. But I was getting ahead of myself. I opened my mouth to say something light and humorous, but my phone rang, cutting me off.
“Yeah?” I didn’t recognize the number.
“Luke, it’s me.” Sam sounded frantic.
“Are you okay?” I asked. He sounded terrible.
Sam swallowed. He was breathing hard like he’d been running. “I found out everything, Luke. I know what happened to Dalton.”
“What?” I asked. “What happened?”
“I can’t tell you now,” he said. “This is a burner phone. I’m pretty sure they’re after me, so I’m laying low until we can meet. Will you meet me?”
“Just tell me when and where,” I said.
“Tomorrow at noon. I’ll send you a text with the address when I have it.”
“I’ll be there,” I said. I would make it happen. I had to find out what was going on.
“I’m going to disappear after that,” he said. “Fuck it. Running is safer than staying here now. I have a place in Canada that I can hide out in. I just want you to know what I know before I run.”
“Be safe,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You can reach me at this number,” Sam said. “But don’t tell anyone, don’t give it to anyone, and don’t do anything about this. Just meet me. And Luke, be careful.”
He was telling me to be careful? What was going on? I didn’t have time to ask. He hung up and the phone went dead in my hands. I lowered it and looked at Alexa.
She wasn’t breathing. Her eyes were wide, and she swallowed hard. She’d heard everything.
“That was Sam,” I said.
“He knows what happened to Dalton?” she asked. Her voice was small. For a moment I saw the girl she used to be again, and then the woman who had fallen apart after the funeral was back. Big, fat tears rolled over her cheeks, and she started hyperventilating.
“Hey,” I said, moving closer to her and pulling her against me. She leaned into me, her face against my shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.”
I wasn’t sure it would be, but I didn’t know what else to say. She trembled, her whole body shaking, and she was still breathing hard.
“I can’t keep doing this,” she said, her voice muffled against my shoulder. “It’s like every time something comes to light, Dalton dies all over again. I can’t handle this anymore.”
“Then don’t,” I said. “I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of you. You just focus on healing, and we’ll figure this out, okay?”
She pulled away from me enough to look me in the eye. Her blue eyes were almost cerulean, shimmering with tears, and her lower lip trembled in the way they drew it in cartoons. She was beautiful even when she cried.
“It’s going to be okay,” I said again. Was I trying to convince her or myself?
I held her against me, and she cried. We sat together like that for what felt like forever, the doughnuts forgotten, the last bit of my coffee gone cold.
What she’d said about Dalton dying all over again was accurate, except I felt like that every day I didn’t find out who had killed him. I tortured myself by wondering what I could have done to save him, and I was paranoid about saving Alexa now.
I had to meet Sam and find out what he knew so that I could avenge Dalton’s death, so that I could make it all right again. It would never bring him back, but it would give me peace.
Because, fuck, I never had peace. All I had was the reminder, every day, that I had lost my friend and that someone had taken his life away from him when they’d had no right to do that. When someone died due to violence or aggression, it wasn’t the same as losing them to illness or in a car crash. When there was a motive behind it, resentment was born, and that could fester until it became so toxic, it changed you.
I had to find out what the hell was happening before it changed me. They didn’t get to win that way, and Alexa didn’t deserve that either.