“You never would!” Amber exclaimed, squealing a little too loudly as I declared my intentions. “You’re only saying that because you’re drunk, Cassie Symmons.”

I giggled, the wine circling my brain as I leant across the table in the very posh bar I was currently drinking in with my friend. This wasn’t the usual sort of place we went, but after being ceremonially dumped by her long term boyfriend, Seb, Amber was looking for a new type of guy to whisk her off her feet.

Seb was a wannabe rock star, going nowhere in the world, whereas the guys that hung out here were bankers, investment types, the sort of men with money. The total opposite end of the scale. That was the reason we had both squeezed ourselves into knock off designer little black dresses, just to try and fit in with the wealthy types, just for one night.

“I would! Look, I agree, he’s hot, but I would much prefer to get under Markus.” I shimmied on my seat as the idea of finally sleeping with my boss filled my brain. I’d had a crush on him for years, ever since I got hired as his personal assistant, but of course I’d never acted on it. I wasn’t that unprofessional. “He’s just so rugged and manly. I would love those big masculine hands all over me.”

Then again, the more time I spent with him the harder it was getting to keep on taking the high road. He had the sort of look that made me feel constantly hot under the collar; his gorgeous chocolatey skin, those deep hazel eyes, that big smirk that always seemed to be hiding something more.

And then there was that body of his. He had muscles that couldn’t be contained by a shirt, I was certain that he needed a new one each day, just because he had to rip out of it at night. I hadn’t ever had the pleasure of seeing his chest, but I could only imagine that abs ran down it… and I’d spent a lot of time picturing it.

“Oh yeah? Just one night of passion to get it out your system.” Amber winked at me, which sent me peeling into laughter again.

“Something like that.”

I couldn’t tell Amber, but my feelings for Markus were no longer just a physical thing. When I first worked with him, it was all about the way he made my body feel, but now… well now I liked him for the person he was too. I’d gotten to know him, and he was sweet, kind, and incredibly funny. He had a wryness to him that he kept under wraps until you got to know him better.

My fantasies had transgressed from sexual to romantic. I hadn’t even realized it was happening, and now I had no idea what I was supposed to do about it. I couldn’t tell my friend because she’d freak right out and make it a much bigger deal than it needed to be.

“So why don’t you?” Amber shrugged and slurped back some of her drink. “Just have one night of fun.”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because I have to work with him. No, not even with him, under him. He’s the owner of the company and my direct boss. I can’t sleep with him because then I’d need to get a new job.”

“Life is too short.” She nodded vigorously as if she was the wisest person around. “If this whole messy break up with Seb has taught me anything it’s that you just have to go for it in life. You like someone, you make them yours. Unless you’re already with someone of course.”

Okay, a swift change of subject was needed before she started to fall apart. She was doing really well at the moment, we both wanted her to move past the sobbing for hours and online stalking phase. Nothing good could ever come of it!

“Okay wild woman of the forest, that’s all well and good but what if it makes me lose my job?”

“Urgh, who cares?” She flapped her hand in front of her face, making her look exactly as drunk as she probably was by now. “You are always so serious!”

That floored me a little, her words actually sobered me up a little bit. I wasn’t that serious, was I? Sure I focused mostly on my job but that was because I wanted to get by in life. And also a little bit because of my secret adoration of Markus… not that I was about to admit that aloud. That didn’t mean I was boring, did it?

“What do you mean?” I practically whispered, shrinking in on myself.

“Well, riddle me this… when was the last time you got laid?” Amber raised her eyebrows knowingly at me, because she already knew that it had almost been a year. We told one another absolutely everything. “You have to get out there and have some fun. That’s why I think you need to screw your boss. He’s the only guy I’ve seen you show interest in for months.”

“Hmmm…” I nodded slowly, unsure of what to say to that. Maybe it was the alcohol infecting my brain, but she was getting to me, she was making me question everything.

“Tell you what, why don’t we make it fun?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, I’m going to make a bet with you. If you don’t seduce your boss at the Christmas party next weekend, then you owe me a hundred dollars.”

“A hundred dollars?” I screeched like a banshee, probably attracting the attention of every single person in the bar. “Are you freaking kidding me?”

“Shh,” Amber laughed. We were like crazed school kids having our first taste of freedom. “Will you calm down? I just want to encourage you to have some damn fun.”

I bit down on my bottom lip, the competitive edge I usually buried deep inside of me floating to the surface. I didn’t want my friend to see me as the bore she so clearly did, I wanted to prove that I was better, that I was more…

And God damn it I wanted to feel Markus inside of me. I wanted my wildest fantasies to finally come true.

“Okay, you’re on,” I replied without really thinking it through. “I’ll make the Christmas party one to really remember, and if I do you have to give me a hundred dollars.”

Amber extended a hand to me and I shook it firmly. This was on now, I was going to have to at least give it a go. I certainly couldn’t afford the hundred dollars at any rate.

“Right now that’s sorted.” Amber scraped her chair back and grinned at me. “I’m going to get those hotties to buy us a drink. I’m sure at least one of them will want to go home with me.”

With her long dark hair flowing down her back and her dress clinging to her voluptuous curves I had a feeling she would have more than one guy after her, which was exactly what she needed.

I rolled my eyes and stood up too, mostly because I didn’t want to be left alone sitting at the table, but also a little bit because I wanted to watch Amber in action. Sure she’d been out of the game for a while but her flirting was on point. Mine was… well, nothing really. I’d always just sort of stumbled into relationships, which was maybe why they didn’t ever work out. There was no passion, no fire, we just always were. Nothing ever ended explosively either, it just fizzled out. That was a pattern I really needed to break.

It wouldn’t be that way with Markus though, I was sure of it. He was the sort of man that would turn my body inside out, being with him would be a sexual awakening, and now… well, it seemed that I was going to find out the truth of that for real.

 

***

 

The music was thumping loudly, the fairy lights twinkling above, everyone was dressed to impress and slowly getting drunk as time ticked past. This was a Christmas party like no other, the festive atmosphere filled the room, it was utterly impossible not to get caught up in it.

Well, except for me, but that was only because I had one end goal in mind. I needed to get Markus Smith in bed before the end of the night or I would owe my friend a lot of money. It turned out Amber wasn’t about to forget our wager, and she was insistent on holding me to it. She told me it was exactly what I needed and that was that, there was no getting her to forget the whole thing.

Luckily, she had stuck around all day long to help me get ready for this mission. She curled my blonde hair into ringlets, she’d achieved that wonderful smoky eye effect which highlighted my baby blues, and she’d plastered my very pasty skin in fake tan to give me a bronze glow. Amber had also leant me her tight red dress, which looked good at home, but now I was in public I felt like I had far too much cleavage on show.

I just hoped that Amber would be quite as helpful when it came to job hunting in the new year! I was still pretty sure that was where this was going to end up.

Still, there was no point in worrying about it now, I needed to try and be sexy. If I told myself that I was a beautiful, seductive goddess then maybe my brain would believe it.

My eyes zoned in on Markus as I took shaky sip of my drink. He was still talking to the same guy he’d been chatting with all night long, there didn’t seem to be a gap in their conversation coming up soon, which left me with one of two choices; did I wuss out and continue down the path my life had been going for months now, just to find myself a whole lot poorer, or did I finally do something brave?

I tried to imagine myself stalking up there and purring sexily at him, before taking him home and ravishing him, but the more I tried to consider that plan the shakier my entire body became.

I forced my feet to move towards him, hoping that a plan would come to mind later on. The longer I stayed in the same place, the more time I gave myself to freak out. I just had to try, even an attempt would be something to be proud of.

My heart hammered so noisily in my chest I feared it might burst out at any given second, my mouth ran bone dry with terror despite the fact that I’d just had a drink, at one point I thought I could hear someone calling out my name, but I couldn’t move my head. I needed to keep on going.

Then I stopped still. I wasn’t sure why, but instead of getting near enough to Markus to actually talk I simply loitered nearby him instead, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. This was a mistake, I should’ve stayed where I was. Now I looked more of an idiot than ever before.

I needed to run… or maybe to get another drink…

“And who is this beauty?” A voice boomed out, as an arm grabbed me around the shoulder. “Where have you been hiding this one, Markus?”

I blinked for a second too long, before opening my eyes to find myself staring at the man I’d adored for far too long. He was smiling jovially at me, an expression which I attempted to return, but my mouth couldn’t quite make that happen.

“Oh, this is my lovely PA, Cassie. Come and have a drink with us, Cassie.”

Suddenly I found myself unexpectedly sandwiched between the two very beefy, intimidating men. I wasn’t sure if this was what I wanted really, it felt a little weird.

“So, Cassie, since my dear friend, Markus, isn’t about to introduce us, I will tell you my name. I’m Ryan.” He extended his hand to me which I shook eagerly. Talking to Ryan was actually easier than dealing with Markus because there wasn’t all that one ended sexual tension to deal with.

“Hi, Ryan,” I smiled happily. “It’s nice to meet you. How long have you known Markus?”

“Oh, we went to school together…”

As they started to share old stories with me, I leant back and relaxed a little bit. If they would just keep talking, this would all be just fine…

 

***

 

“Oh my goodness, are you serious?” I snorted as I laughed, the expensive champagne allowing me to be more open than perhaps I usually would be. “That’s hilarious.”

“Well, that’s Markus for you. You only see one side to him at work.”

There was something about Ryan, it was becoming increasingly obvious with each passing second that he was flirting with me. His hand kept brushing my arm, his eyes twinkled as he stared at me,  and his knee was knocking against mine.

The weird thing was I actually liked it. It was incredibly strange with Markus sitting the other side of me, talking to me too, but the more I drank the easier it became to deal with.

“I erm…” My breaths came in a little ragged and sharp as the overwhelming nature of the situation overcame me for a second. “I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

I crashed into the bathroom and splashed a little cold water on my face. I needed to be careful if I didn’t want to end up in a crazy mess right now, I had to act smart.

‘Amber, I’m freaking out! X’ I sent a text to my friend in panic.

‘Stop overthinking, just have fun. Remember there’s a hundred dollars at stake. Love you xxx’

Okay, stop freaking out, I needed to stop panicking. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, almost stepping back for a second when I saw myself. I forgot how hot I was looking tonight. I did look good, and this look would be wasted if I did nothing about it.

Come on, just do this, I told myself quite seriously. Just get out there, and have fun. Amber has commanded it.

As I slid back through the bathroom door and into the party area, a hand grabbed my shoulder which made me jump.

“Oh… hey…”

Ryan was staring back at me with a smile. His emerald eyes sparkling, his pale skin dotted with sweet freckles, his lips pursed in my direction.

God he was hot… so hot! He was almost irresistible.

“Come here.” He tugged my arm and pulled me out into a hallway where no one else was standing. I glanced from side to side, a weird, terrified thrill racing up and down my spine as I waited for him to speak out once more.

“What’s going on?” I eventually felt compelled to ask.

“You’re so cute.” He touched my cheek, his fingers moved over my lips, and he sent bolts of electricity racing all over me. It was almost too much. All I wanted to do was lean in. There hadn’t been this chemistry in my life for a very long time. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had made me feel this way. “Can I kiss you?”

No, of course not! I don’t even know you, plus I work for your friend. I’ve adored your friend from afar for years….

But I didn’t say any of that, I simply nodded instead. Then Ryan’s lips crashed against mine and fireworks exploded inside my stomach. He felt so good, his hands made their way into my hair, I wanted to give myself over to him wholly. He had my heart hammering, lust trickling down into my underwear, passion flooding me.

He felt so good against me that I was happy to forgo absolutely everything in that moment. Nothing else mattered apart from me and Ryan.

 

***

 

Shit, shit, shit.

Humiliation thumped through my body, sickness swirled in my stomach, I felt like every single giggle and whisper that floated through the office was about me and my sordid behavior at the Christmas party only just over a week before. 

Of course in reality not a single person knew that I’d kissed Ryan. It happened quickly and discretely, we had a mental five minutes, then we went back to the party and didn’t even share another look, but I couldn’t help freaking out all the same.

The party had not gone to plan, as I’d been constantly reminded by my wonderful best friend over the Christmas period. I hadn’t hooked up with Markus. I didn’t end up sleeping with anyone. I simply kissed a man that could potentially rock the boat of my entire life. Luckily because she felt so sorry for me she didn’t make me fork out the money, but still I had to live with the fact that I was a massive loser and I’d failed miserably.

How the hell would Markus feel knowing that I kissed his friend? In a professional sense it was the wrong thing to do, and in a personal sense… well, how could he like me now? He would never want to be with me knowing that I’d done that. Even if there was no chance in the world of that ever happening, I didn’t like knowing that I’d wrecked my chances.

I slid behind my desk and kept my head focused downwards, hoping that no one would even pay me a scrap of attention, but of course I wasn’t about to be so lucky.

Why was I the unluckiest person in the world?

“Cassie?” Markus’s tone was sharp as he called out to me, it sent an iciness up and down my spine. “Can you come into my office please? I need to speak to you about something.”

“Erm, sure.”

Oh God, this was it, this was the moment where I got a serious reprimand. I would probably end up losing my job anyway and I hadn’t even gotten to be with him. This wouldn’t have felt so drastic if I’d gotten what I wanted. I would know that I deserved it, but at least I’d have some damn good memories.

I shoved the door open and tentatively took a step inside, my hands clasped tightly in front of me. I usually felt so comfortable in this room, it was like my second home in Markus’s office, but now I didn’t know where to position myself. My hands felt weird, my legs were like jelly, my pulse rate racing.

“Take a seat.”

“Okay, sure.” I did exactly as he asked, feeling a little like a school girl in the head teacher’s office. “Is… is everything okay?” I couldn’t keep the nervous tremor from my voice, however hard I tried.

“Yes, I just wanted to talk to you about the Wilson account.”

The Wilson account? “Oh, right…” Work, huh? “Erm, sure?”

I was expecting him to scream at me, to tell me that I was an idiot for kissing his friend, but there was nothing. He was actually picking up bits of paper and talking about work.

“Yeah, I think we need to go with a new strategy…”

 

***

 

I chewed my lunch thoughtfully, my mind all over the place. This had been the weirdest day of my whole life, and I really wasn’t sure where my future lay.

Markus genuinely didn’t seem to know what had happened with me and Ryan, which was a good thing… wasn’t it? Why did I feel like I was all over the place?

“You okay?” Sasha, one of the eighteen year old interns asked me. There was a distance between me and the other employees because of my position in the company. It was unfortunate but I didn’t mind too much, I didn’t need more friends. Still, it was nice that Sasha always made an effort. “You look a bit sad. Bad Christmas?”

“Nah, it was okay.” I shrugged and smiled sadly. “How about you?”

She pulled out her hand and flashed me an incredible diamond ring, clearly getting to the main point of why she’d dragged me into a conversation. “My boyfriend, Luke, proposed on Christmas day. It was like a total shock.”

Of course it was, you’re still a teenager!

“Oh well, that’s lovely,” I told her instead. “Congratulations. You must be so happy.”

“Oh we are, we’re planning on a June wedding.”

Urgh, I’d never even been close to planning a June wedding, and I was heading far too quickly towards thirty years old. Okay, so I was twenty-seven, but I had a decade on this girl. Maybe she was a naïve teenager, but still it would be nice to have someone love me enough to want to spend the rest of their life with me.

“How about you? How’s your love life?”

Don’t panic, don’t freak out.

“It’s okay, just dating, you know…” The sympathetic look Sasha shot me did not go amiss. “Anyway I have to get back to work.”

I stood up to leave the room feeling about two feet tall. This sucked, and it only highlighted what Amber kept telling me. I needed some real excitement in my life, and not a cheeky make out session with someone I didn’t know, I meant something real.

“Oh, sorry, Markus.” In my dazed and confused state I actually walked right into him. In the past that would’ve sent me into a horny tailspin, I would’ve turned this moment into something huge in my mind, but now I was too morose to really react. “I didn’t see you there.”

“That’s okay.” He smiled brightly and touched my shoulder. “I don’t mind you bumping into me.”

There was something in his tone, something I hadn’t ever heard before. Was that… flirting? Seriously? I opened and closed my mouth a few times, feeling utterly speechless.

“Anyway, I better go and get these emails sent, if we don’t want to end up working a lot of late nights together.”

Okay, it was definitely there now. How typical was this? I’d needed this for so long, it was a dream come true, but because of my insane Christmas party behavior I didn’t know what to say. I felt helpless, hopeless, like I was drowning in my own despair.

“Anyway, see you in a bit.”

Markus walked off, leaving me dazed and totally befuddled. What was I supposed to think now? What was I supposed to do with that very roundabout flirting?

I shook my head and forced myself back to my desk. I needed to grab my cell phone to text Amber. Maybe she had a bit of a one track mind when it came to my lack of sex life, but she was the only one who could give me any kind of decent advice.

‘What do I do? I think Markus is flirting with me? X’

‘Yay! Kiss him, seduce him, finally make him yours! X’

Her reply that came back in an instant made me smile, but it was impractical. I couldn’t just kiss my boss, even if I did really want that. God, I wanted it so damn badly.

‘But what about the party? X’

‘What about it? What does it matter? It was one kiss! You didn’t do anything crazy, did you? X’

‘Yeah, with his friend. Urgh, I’m an idiot. Why can’t I just behave like a normal person? X’

‘You’re a worrier, stop worrying. Please, for the love of God. Please I have done way worse than you! x’

Stop worrying… if only! I sighed deeply and dropped my cell phone back into my desk drawer. This was a mess of my own doing, and now I needed to try and dig my way out of it somehow.

I stared towards where Markus had just left me behind, wondering what was going through his mind. Why now? What was going on with him? Why did I feel like I was the absolute last person to know?

 

***

 

I held my head higher as I walked through the office doors a week later because I was certain that no one now knew about me and Ryan. I was silly to worry, I really was a panicker, and it was good to shake some of that off. Positivity worked a lot better for me.

“The Wilson account is running much smoother now,” Markus grinned happily at me the second he saw me coming in. “I’m glad we made all those changes.”

We… he’d been talking that way a lot more recently, including me in his sentences when he discussed jobs. He’d always been a good person, a wonderful boss, but everything was always his idea, even during the times I was involved.

It was nice, it made me feel really awesome, warm and fuzzy inside, like I was incredibly worthwhile.

“Yeah, I think they’ll stay with us now.” I nodded happily. “So that’s great news.”

His hand brushed my arm, shocking me into stepping away. Even now, even after all that mess with Ryan, he could still make me feel incredible. He warmed my body up in a way that no one else ever could, that no one else ever had.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.”

My face flamed brightly and I felt myself turn coy. “Oh I don’t know, you do an amazing job of this stuff.”

“I probably could’ve taken a step back years ago, allowed someone else to manage the business for me, but I just love it. This sort of problem solving is my passion.”

“It shows.”

We shared a smile, and in that moment my heart began to thunder noisily in my chest. I wanted to be cool and calm around this incredible man, but it was never going to happen. He turned me into a genuine shuddering mess.

“So…” He leaned back in his chair and smiled widely at me. “Would it be totally insane if I asked you out on a date? I know that we work together and it could end badly, but… I don’t know, I really would love to take you to dinner.”

I paused, for just a beat too long, my mind whirred frantically the entire time. This was my dream come true, and I knew that my confidant would tell me to just go for it, but still I felt like there was this massive elephant in the room, a black cloud over my head that I couldn’t quite shake off.

“Erm, really? I… I don’t…”

“Oh don’t worry about it, I don’t want to make things awkward. I know it’s crazy, we’ve worked together for years and I haven’t said anything before this, but…” I could see Markus shutting down, which made me feel absolutely terrible.

“No, no, it isn’t that. I just… I would love to go to dinner with you.”

I could not turn down this opportunity, it was all I ever wanted. I could easily deal with the other stuff later on.

“Great, I’ll pick you up at eight tonight. I’m sorry it took so long, I guess it just feels like the time is right.”

It took all that I had not to scream, I didn’t want to freak and make an idiot of myself, but this… it was overwhelming, it was exciting and terrifying, and wonderful.

Amber was going to love this!

 

***

 

“Did you get the picture?” I gasped into the phone, terror tearing through me. “What do you think about my outfit?”

“It looks wonderful!” Amber cried back just as happily. “You look amazing, I can’t wait for this for you. You need this.”

“You’re happier than I am,” I laughed loudly, trying to lose myself in the mirth. “Maybe you should focus on your own love life.”

“Actually my love life is amazing, you know that. Tex is wonderful in bed. He makes me feel like a brand new woman. I’m wondering ‘Seb who?’”

I wasn’t totally sure if Amber was genuine or if this was all a cover up for the hurt she was still feeling, but I let it go. I knew Amber well enough to know that she’d open up to me when she was ready. I had to just be patient with her.

“So are you finally going to write off your debt to me tonight?”

My heart flip flopped in my chest as I considered finally getting underneath that amazing man. I hadn’t even thought about it since he asked me out on a date but now it was the only thing on my mind.

Maybe that was where this night was going to head.

“Oh I don’t know if that’s a good idea…”

“Why? It isn’t like you’re in love with him? It’s just a physical thing, right?”

Oh, of course, she didn’t know the true depth of my feelings. I almost forgot about that. I needed to keep my walls up in case this all fell apart. I couldn’t stand the humiliation.

“Yeah, right.”

“If you wanted him to fall in love with you, I would say different, but that’s not the case here.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” I needed to hang up the phone, I couldn’t keep faking my feelings so close to the date, it was messing with my mind. “Okay, I better go, I need to finish getting ready and he’ll be here in a moment.”

“Love you, bye!”

“Love you too.”

I hung up the phone and stared at my reflection, tugging on the ends of my skirt as I did. The black mini, teamed with a slightly oversized orange top looked kind of good. Well I hoped it did, at least Amber had suggested it did and I was inclined to believe her. I didn’t want to go too dressy, in case the date wasn’t that sort of night out, but I also wanted to look classy.

Had I pulled it off? I wasn’t sure.

I sighed deeply and started to shove the rest of my clothes back into my wardrobe while I waited for eight o clock to come around. This was nerve wracking, I wasn’t sure what was about to happen, and that terrified me. I hadn’t ever really gone out on a date before, not like this, and I didn’t know if I was ready or not.

Beep, beep.

Oh my God, he was really here! Early too. I pressed my face up against the glass, to see an actual real life limousine outside waiting for me. This was serious now, this was a really high-class date and I had a mini skirt on.

I wanted to change, but I didn’t have time to now. I needed to get down there and speak to him before my self-doubt ate me up alive.

Okay, come on then, Cassie, I warned myself. Let’s just… see what happens.

I made my way slowly down the stairs of my apartment block, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed about my meagre home compared to the house he lived in. I already knew it was a damn mansion.

Still, he knew where I lived too and he still asked me out, so maybe I needed to stop the worrying.

As the door swung open, my breath was literally stripped from my throat. Markus looked gorgeous in his tuxedo, he looked better now than he did every single day at work. His dark skin looked wonderful in the moonlight, his eyes shone with happiness, and he had a swagger that attracted me like crazy.

God this was scary, but absolutely wonderful too.

“Hi,” I smiled shyly at him. “You okay?”

“I’m great, you look wonderful.” He extended out his hand for me to take. “Come on, let’s get going. The reservation is in half an hour.”

“Where are we going?” I asked quietly, feeling all out of sorts.

“Ah, don’t you worry about that. You’ll soon find out.”

Ooh, a mystery, that just made this even more exciting. Markus was familiar to me, but like a stranger too, and I kind of liked that. It kept me on my toes.

 

***

 

“This is… wow,” I just about managed to spit out in my stunned state as I glanced around the scene. “It’s too much. You shouldn’t have.” Okay, so money was no object to Markus, it hardly mattered to him, but to me this was on another level.

We were in a restaurant, one with more Michelin stars than I could have ever dreamed about, selling food that was out of this world and cost the Earth for the pleasure, but he’d also reserved us a special table, out on a veranda that allowed us to look out over the city. There were even fairy lights decorating the area, making it look like our own little night time. A space that was reserved just for us.

“Hey, you’re worth it.” He shot me a smile that turned my insides to jelly. I had no idea what Markus’s love life was like, he kept it well away from the office thankfully, but this didn’t seem like the sort of thing that he did for just anyone. I really felt like I was special.

It meant that after all this time day dreaming and fantasizing, Markus felt the same way too.

“Come on, take a seat.”

I did as I was asked, still feeling a little bewildered by everything. This was perfect, just too wonderful, and it was making me feel like hell. I was a phony, a liar, the worst person alive. I’d kissed Markus’s friend, and he didn’t know. When he found out, he would hate me.

“Would you like a drink? Are you okay? You seem a little quiet, Cassie?” The way my name rolled off his lips sent a shiver up and down my spine. What was I going to do with all this guilt?

“I’m okay, this is all just so crazy. I guess I’ve never been treated this way before.” I shrugged as I told a half truth. Even if the whole mess with Ryan wasn’t hanging over my head, I would probably still be bewildered. Everything about this was crazy.

“Well that’s because you haven’t found the right guy.”

Luckily at that moment before I could say anything else, the waiter came over to take our orders which gave me some much needed time to organize my head.

It was only a kiss.

If Ryan didn’t mention it, it didn’t mean anything anyway.

I’m being ridiculous.

I kept those thoughts rolling over and over in my mind, trying to keep myself going, but it wasn’t easy.

“Look,” Markus grinned and leaned back in his chair, giving me a glimpse up and down his gorgeous muscular chest. God, what I wouldn’t do to get my hands all over his chest. For a second I bit down on my lip as I imagined my soft hands brushing over his hard, sculpted abs. “I know this is a little strange, not what either of us expected, so why don’t we try and forget about work for now? Forget that we spend most of our time under the same roof and just be us.”

I gulped down and nodded, despite the fact that somehow made it worse. Without our jobs connecting us I felt like out differences were highlighted even more. He was rich, suave, thrilling… and I lived in a tiny one bedroomed apartment that I had to struggle to keep.

“Yeah, sure.”

“So why don’t you tell me more about yourself? Your family, where you grew up, that sort of thing.”

“Oh right, well I grew up in a small town about eighty miles away with my mom, dad, and two sisters.” I smiled as I recalled my past. My childhood was sheltered but very happy. “Celeste and Carin. We spent most of our days climbing trees and playing in the mud, that sort of thing. We were all a bit boisterous, very similar, so it’s weird that we’ve all grown up as such different people.”

“Sounds lovely. What do your sisters do now?”

“Celeste actually lives in England now with her husband and two kids, and Carin is a photographer, so she travels a lot too. I guess I’m the only one who’s happy to stay close to where we grew up!”

“And what’s your dream?”

That question totally stumped me, was that really first date conversation? Or was I just riled up about it because I didn’t really have any career dreams and ambitions? I worked to live more than the other way around, and I was happy about that.

“I like what I do,” I smiled simply, hoping that would pass it off a bit. “I’m happy working with you.”

“Oops, there we are, back in that dangerous territory again!” As he teased me I just about managed to laugh loudly. “Why don’t I tell you about my family? Although I probably don’t have as many interesting stories as you since I grew up as an only child. Maybe we should go back to you.”

Wow, usually all my dates only wanted to talk about themselves. This was going to be a revelation.

 

***

 

Surprisingly, despite all the weirdness surrounding us, we actually managed to have a really nice time. Markus was his sweet, charming, funny self – even more so than I was used to at work – and once I began to relax I was almost pleasant company too.

“Did you enjoy your desert?”

Was I imagining it, or did he wink at me then? “I did, thank you.”

“So… would you like to come back to mine?”

Holy shit, oh my God, he was actually asking me that? On the one hand, maybe I shouldn’t because I didn’t want to give off the wrong impression of me, but then again on the other we had known one another for years so it wouldn’t really be that bad, would it?

“I kissed Ryan!”

Shit, where the hell did that come from? It fell past my lips while I was racing over my decision, and now… well now the whole world had stopped. Time froze, my eyes widened, my heart freaked out. I said the one thing that I knew would destroy us…

“My friend, Ryan?”

“Yes,” I whispered, my head hanging to the ground in shame. I could feel my cheeks heating up, frustration pricking at my eyes. “At the Christmas party.”

“So?”

Huh? My eyes snapped back up to him as he said the last thing I expected. I thought he was going to yell at me for letting him spend all that money on me when I knew what I had done. But he hadn’t… he was looking at me with a shining twinkle in his eyes, as if it actually amused him.

“What do you mean, so? I mean I kissed him when I shouldn’t have done, when I like you, and now… I feel like an idiot.”

“Why? I mean it’s good to hear that you like me, but I don’t know what you’re so worried about. So you shared one kiss with someone before I asked you out, when I wasn’t brave enough too, so really it’s all my fault.”

“But…” I started talking even though I didn’t really know what to say. This was all just so… adult. I’d never been out with someone who took things in such a mature way.

“Look, let’s just get going. I want you to see my house. I want to take you for a drink.”

“So you really don’t mind?” My voice was shy and small, but when Markus sent me a reassuring smile he sent a warmth through my system.

“Don’t be so silly, my sweet little Cassie. Now come on.”

My… he called me his. How the hell was I supposed to resist something so freaking adorable? There was a huge chance that I was in love.

I stood up and slipped my hand into his, with my heart thundering in my chest. I was about to get everything I’d ever wanted and I just couldn’t wait. I had a feeling that this was going to be the experience of a life time.

I just hoped that it never had to end. Maybe it was naïve, but I wanted this to be the first day of the rest of my life.

 

***

 

“Your home is incredible.” There was no point in acting like I didn’t see how great it was, it was unbelievable. Huge, gorgeous, decorated like something out of a movie. I never actually believed that people lived in homes like this. “I’m so jealous.”

“It can get a bit lonely,” he shrugged his shoulders and admitted. “I love it, but it’s huge and sometimes I feel a bit like I’m pottering about aimlessly.”

“Well I think it’s wonderful.”

Markus took my hands in his again and stepped closer so we were staring into one another’s eyes. I soaked him up, lapping up the crinkles around his eyes as he smiled at me, the gorgeous curve of his lips, the way his cheeks looked so adorably touchable. I was also acutely aware of every curve of his body. His presence was immense, I could really feel him up in my personal space; my heart hammered fast, pounding loudly in my ears, and that buzzing shimmied right down towards my core.

I’d wanted this forever.

“You’re so beautiful,” he eventually whispered, whilst tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m so glad you agreed to come out with me.”

Then it finally happened, the moment I’d been waiting for forever. His lips connected with mine, soft at first, but slowly increasing with pressure, and as we molded into one another everything felt incredibly right. The pleasure started off as a small warm ball in my chest, spreading over all of me.

This was different to kissing Ryan, more romantic. It was everything.

Then Markus lifted me up and I claimed him with my legs. I wrapped them right around him, enjoying being carried as if I weighed less than a feather. I moved my hips in closer to him getting a feel of something very impressive.

Something heart stopping. The more it brushed against me as Markus carried me over to the couch, I felt needy, intense, animalistic, like I might tear his clothes from his body like a wild bear if he didn’t take them off soon. All the times I’d spent thinking about this moment, all the long, sexually frustrated hours I spent at work wishing he’d throw me across his table to ravish me, they all built up inside of me as it finally happened.

“Oh my God.” I was panting, my breaths were crazed and ragged, the heady lust of the atmosphere consuming me whole. “Oh Markus, Mr. Smith.” I didn’t mean to call him such a formal name, it just sort of happened, but it felt good. It made it more like a fantasy.

Markus seemed to enjoy it too because as my body crashed onto his couch, I could see a deep, dark desire running behind his gaze. It was so intense it made me tingle all over. None of my other lovers had ever been so… commanding before. It felt really good.

Markus climbed over me, allowing me to get lost in the heat and weight of his body. I brushed my fingers over his strong jawline, enjoying the light sprinkling of stubble there.

“I’ve wanted this moment for far too long.” I wasn’t sure why I suddenly decided that it was okay to be so brutally honest, but with Markus it felt like the right thing to do. I didn’t feel like he’d judge me.

Then his mouth connected with mine once more and we got back to making out like crazed teenagers. His top flew off, my skirt shimmied down, his belt unhooked, his jeans left his body, my top and bra vanished before I could even think about it… soon the only thing in our way was the thin cotton material of my panties.

As Markus’s mouth moved down my body, over my neck and towards my breasts, I couldn’t help but arch my back in sheer bliss. A moan escaped my mouth, as he slipped my nipple between his lips and he flickered his tongue all over me. I shoved my hands into his hair where I tugged possibly a little too hard, the passion taking over me.

“You’re a little wild, aren’t you? I always thought you might be.”

The smugness on Markus’s tone, plus the image my mind created of him touching himself imagining me was almost too much. I felt my body tumbling towards the abyss of pleasure and he hadn’t even touched me yet…

But that didn’t last long. Before I could even reply to his little comment, Markus’s hand had dipped into my underwear and his finger slowly edged towards where I was needy and pulsating for him.

“Oh fuck!” As one of his incredible fingers slowly popped inside of me, shock and joy bolted right through me. This was phenomenal, better than I ever could’ve hoped for, better than I ever imagined it would be. I had to cling tightly to him, digging my nails hard into his shoulder. “Oh, Markus.”

“Are you getting desperate, dirty girl?”

“Yes, oh yes.”

Markus slid up my body and he moved his cock towards my entrance. He thought I was just going to wait for him, that I was just going to lie here and wait for him to slip into me, but I had other ideas. I wanted to be memorable, to stand out in Markus’s mind, to give him a reason to want to stick around, so I slid my hand down over his body, taking just a moment to feel how rock hard and wonderful he felt, then I wrapped my fingers around his thick, pulsating length.

Holy hell, he was huge! I didn’t know whether to feel excited or terrified.

As I moved my curled fingers up and down, Markus’s thighs tensed up, he began to shake, which had electricity coursing through my veins. It was challenging to control myself.

“You really are something else,” Markus growled at me. “But you’re going to have to stop right now if you don’t want me to completely fall apart.”

I moved my hand away with a smirk, there was something seriously powerful about the way that he said that, it made me feel sexy, worthwhile, like a goddess.

I tossed my hands carelessly above my head, finally ready to totally cave to him as Markus circled my hips with his fingers. He was giving me that look again, the one that sent me crazy…

I pushed him off me, and lay him flat on his back on the couch. His eyes widened in shock, he hadn’t even realized that I was doing it, it happened that quickly. One second I was lazily lying there, the next moment my legs were straddling his as I sat astride him.

“Wow, Cassie…”

I shut him up in the only way I could, by angling that incredible cock of his into me, all the while staring intently at him. In a way, I kept having to remind myself that this was really happening and it wasn’t just another dream.

“Oh my…!” As he filled me up, I was fully reminded. I imagined him to be massive, but not to feel as wonderful inside me as he did. This truly was an experience like no other.

I gripped onto his chest as I rode him wildly, like an animal, not even caring how I looked. Judging by the grunts and groans Markus was making he was totally enjoying himself anyway so I didn’t have anything to worry about. I had the perfect angle so each thrust rubbed against my clit, sending me cascading towards sheer joy.

The pressure built, a little too quickly, almost overwhelmingly so. I could sense it rising, it was claiming me, taking me, driving me absolutely wild…

And then it crashed over me in a tsunami of boiling hot bliss. I crumbled, I screamed, I buckled and yelled, causing Markus to sit up to cling onto me. He held me tight, building a deep connection between us, making me feel closer to Markus than I ever had anyone else ever before.

He was perfect.

This moment was perfect.

I was in absolute Heaven.

 

***

 

“Hey, my dirty girl.”

Having the man I’d adored for as long as I could remember kissing me and murmuring against my lips to wake me up made for the most magical morning ever. My dream really had come true, I was the luckiest woman alive. As his voice hummed through my body, I felt that intense spark coming right back. Maybe it was time for round two.

“Hello there, handsome.” I propped myself up onto my elbows and grinned widely at Markus. If I’d been worried that it was going to be weird and awkward the next day, I needn’t have. This was the easiest morning after the night before I’d ever experienced. It just felt really natural, which was unexpected because of how we knew one another. “How are you?”

“I’ve made you breakfast, and I’ve brought you a coffee. I thought that would be a nice treat since you spend most of your life making me hot drinks.” He laughed, a musical sound that made my heart hammer excitedly. Even though it was way too soon, I could feel myself falling…

I grabbed the mug gratefully from him and sucked the liquid down like there was no tomorrow. It tasted like liquid gold, much better than the stuff we kept at the office, not that it was the right moment to talk about that. “Ah thank you. I’ll have this then I can get out of your hair.” It felt nice to be here, but the last thing I wanted to do was outstay my welcome. I didn’t want Markus to think that I was reading too much into anything. I needed to remain cool, even if I didn’t feel it.

“No, why would you go?” he whined, while jumping onto the bed and wrapping his fingers lovingly around my cheeks. “I don’t want you to leave.” So much for me seeing things that weren’t there! He kissed me tenderly, pressing his lips up against mine lightly as if I was a precious gem to be treasured forever. With every passing second, I could feel myself living my dream.

“You don’t?” I murmured as my eyes fell closed. “Well, whatever you want.” I didn’t want to leave this bed ever, so if Markus wanted me to stay then who the hell was I to argue.

“Actually I have a party tonight, you should stay for it.”

Oh wow, the idea at attending one of Markus’s posh parties at his mansion as his plus one filled me utter joy. I could just see it, everyone’s eyes respectfully on me, looking at me as if I was one of them, like I truly was a princess…

But then of course that was never going to happen. I stood out from a mile off, it was so obvious that I didn’t belong. My clothes made me stand out before I even started. There was no way I could fake it, that part would have to remain in my head only.

“I… I don’t think that’s a good idea.” My voice shook as I spoke, turning down an offer I wanted to grab hold of with both hands. “I don’t have anything suitable to wear…”

“You don’t want to?” Oh God, why did he have to sound so hurt? That made me feel guilty for refusing, especially when I really wanted to.

“Oh no, it isn’t that I just…” Come on, where was that brutal honesty from last night? I needed it now desperately! “I don’t think I will… fit in.”

Markus winked, smirked, and kissed me once more, leaving me more confused than before. “Don’t you worry about that. By the end of the day I will have you looking and feeling like a true princess, better than everyone else.”

“What do you mean?”

“You just sit there and enjoy your breakfast, leave the rest to me.”

As he bounded from the room, I felt blown away, like I’d really lost my footing. But I was excited too. Markus thrilled me in ways that I didn’t even know existed, and I couldn’t wait to see where that would lead me.

 

***

 

Oh my goodness…

I stared at my reflection, barely recognizing the person looking back at me. My hair was glossy and curled to perfection, thanks to the hairdresser who’d spent hours on it. I had make up dusting my features that was good enough for a model… although it probably should have since it had been put on by a professional.

And the dress, oh my God the dress. It came from a rack of designer outfits that had appeared in his hallway as if by magic, It was silver, sparkly, and hugged my curves as if it had been tailored to my body exactly.

I really did look like a princess. Or a mermaid.

“Amber,” I hissed into my phone. “Amber, I need you to see me. Look.” I pulled the phone away and showed her a picture of my dress. “Look at me.”

“Oh my God, when you told me what was going on tonight, I didn’t realize that you were going to look like that. You should be on the cover of a magazine or something.”

“I know!” I giggled like a mad school girl. “I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“I’ll tell you what you do, you marry this man.”

“But… I thought you told me just to screw him.” I had to whisper that part as guilt flooded me. I felt like I was accidently lying to everyone without even meaning to.

“Not now! Now I think you need to lock him down.”

I paused for a moment, considering telling Amber my real feelings. I actually wanted her to know that I genuinely adored Markus, that my feelings were deep and real, and that it’d only gotten worse with spending this romantic time with him. The sex was incredible, I couldn’t get over how he made me feel, but spending this day with him was great too.

I liked him so damn much.

But before I got to decide either way, he walked into the room, ending the chance before it arrived.

“I have to go, Amber, I’ll speak to you soon. Love you.”

I hung up the phone rapidly and glanced at Markus as he ran his eyes all over my body, appreciatively drinking me in. “You know, I thought you looked amazing last night, but there’s something really magical about the way you look tonight.” He held out his arm to me and I linked mine through it. “Come on, let’s go to the party, people will start arriving soon.”

Nerves danced all over my body as we descended down the stairs, but there was a lot of excitement there too. This was my first real life adult party, not the sort of student thing where everyone got drunk and vomited. This was going to be classy, glamorous, and I was attending with the most wonderful man alive.

I couldn’t wait.

“You won’t leave me, will you?” I suddenly lost all my cool and yanked Markus’s arm closer to mine. “I’m scared everyone will hate me.” Okay so I was darting backwards and forwards, not really sure how to feel.

“If anyone is looking at you it’ll be because of how gorgeous you look,” he did his best to reassure me. “But don’t worry, I’ll be here the whole time.”

 

***

 

Oh… my… God!

The first person to walk through the door was the worst possible person to see in this situation when I looked so false and odd. Beautiful yes, but not like me. I felt like he’d see right through the disguise and expose me for who I was. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t think about this scenario, it made perfect sense for him to be there, but still… Oh God, how the hell was I going to survive this?

“Ryan,” I muttered awkwardly under my breath. “Oh no.” I shook my hands awkwardly by my side, feeling everything all at once.

Now that I’d spent the night with Markus I couldn’t help but compare the two men, which probably wasn’t right. Markus was dark and mysterious, totally hunky, whereas Ryan has very pale skin, bright blue eyes and a light dusting of hair. He was sinewy, nowhere near as broad as Markus, but still he looked good. To good, it was almost hard to look at him. I didn’t want to be in this mess, I just wanted to be able to enjoy my time with Markus. I wanted the fairy tale to become a reality, and this was getting in the way.

“Well, well, well.” Ryan was smirking, mostly because he didn’t realize that Markus knew about us and that put me right on edge. It would come out soon enough, and then I had no idea what would happen. “Fancy seeing you here.” He ran his eyes over my body, fixing too long on my heaving cleavage. “And what, may I ask are you doing at a party at Markus’s house.”

“She’s here with me.”

If it wasn’t obvious before that the cat was out of the bag, it was now. Markus was practically squaring up to his friend, really acting the alpha male. Although it was incredibly awkward and it made me feel like crap about myself, there was a definite buzzing in my underwear.

Did I actually like this? What the hell was wrong with me?

“Oh I can see that,” Ryan smirked, flicking his eyes between us both. “From the way you have you arm wrapped tightly around her. She looks beautiful, you’re a very lucky man to have such a lovely date.”

“I know I’m lucky. That’s why I’ve brought her here, to show her off.”

Oh my God, now Ryan was squaring up too. I really didn’t want a fight, even if it was kind of sexy. I wasn’t the sort of girl to come between two guys… was I?

I used to be so normal, so ordinary… when the hell did that all change? When did I become the girl in the stunning designer dress enjoying being fought over? This would absolutely kill Amber, if I ever worked up the courage to tell her.

Luckily before I had to intervene, which I wasn’t totally sure I could do anyway since my mouth was too dry to form words, the doorbell rang out and other people arrived at the party, changing the charged atmosphere entirely. I let out a breath that I hadn’t even realized that I was holding, but I had a feeling that wasn’t going to be the end of it. I didn’t think either man would let things go that easily.

This was going to be a party to remember, I just hoped it was for the right reasons.

 

***

 

Okay, I gasped noisily and stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Not long now…

It had been a night from hell, and not for all right reasons. I’d quickly stopped being worried about what everyone in the place thought of me, and rapidly became concerned with how the two men who’d inadvertently weaved their ways into my life saw me. They both spent the whole night shooting me looks, giving me the eye, hinting that they wanted me, which left me a shivering mess.

The worst part about all of this was how I felt about it all. I wasn’t having anything like a normal reaction, I felt like I wanted both. Markus first, then Ryan. Or maybe both at the same time. The thought of those gorgeous creatures with their hands all over me was almost too much to handle. It made me bite onto my lip like a sex-starved maniac. No one would believe that I’d been ravished only the night before!

I shook my head, trying to strip the blush away from my cheeks. Everyone would be gone soon, including Ryan, leaving me alone with Markus. The one I actually wanted to be with. I needed to get my head in the game if I didn’t want to call out the wrong name in bed or anything. That would be killer, a crazy kiss before we got together was one thing, but a fantasy this late in the game was too much.

Come on, Cassie, I told myself strictly. Get back out there, say goodbye to everyone, then get back to fun with the most incredible man ever. Forget all about everyone else, they don’t matter.

I shoved the door open and stepped back out into the party, just to notice that I was much too late. Everyone was already gone… even better. No awkward small talk.

“Oh, it’s you again.”

I closed my eyes before turning back. It seemed that Ryan intended to be the first one in the party and the last one out. God damn it, couldn’t he take a hint? Didn’t he realize that he was the one person I actually wanted gone?

“What are you doing here, Ryan?” I asked coldly. “Isn’t it time for you to leave?”

“Why do you want me gone?” He touched my shoulder and I flinched. I spun around to glare at him angrily. My face was flushed all over again. “Is it because you know you want me?”

“No, don’t be so stupid. I just want to spend more time with Markus.” I folded my arms defensively across my chest. “I need to be alone with him.”

Ryan smirked and didn’t take the hint. He stepped closer to me and really invaded my personal space. “He knows about us already, what’s the point of hiding it?”

“Us? There is no us. We had one kiss, that’s it.”

“But what a kiss it was.” He was touching me now, I could feel his torso pressed up against mine. What I really needed to do was push him away, but somehow I couldn’t quite make myself do that. “I could feel that you wanted me, even then. It was just a shame that we had to stop.”

His face was moving in, and I was getting swallowed up by the heady, dizzying lust surrounding us. It was almost as if this wasn’t really happening, as if I was just imagining it...

And then his lips crashed against mine and I felt that familiar explosion of lust. God damn it, he was right. I did want him, really badly. It wasn’t right, it confused me so much, but I couldn’t deny it. Ryan had a raw sexuality, a deep magnetism that drew me in no matter how hard I tried. His lips felt incredible against mine, I wanted this moment to last for absolute ever.

“What’s going on here?”

Markus’s voice was like a sobering bucket of ice cold water being thrown over my head. I leapt back like I’d been electrocuted, and stared frantically at him. I wanted to cry and scream all at once, I’d screwed everything up with the man I adored. I had no one else to blame for this mess but myself.

“What are you doing?” Markus smirked, stepping closer to us. “I didn’t tell you to stop.”

I glanced towards Ryan who shrugged and smirked at me. “I’m game if you are.”

Game? Were these guys suggesting what I really thought they were? Was my dirty little fantasy seriously about to come true?

 

***

 

Before I got a chance to answer, Ryan was back holding me tight, sending that lust floating through me once more. It was powerful, chemical, and even more exciting knowing that the man I really liked was watching me.

Oh my God, I was insane, that was the only explanation for it. I must’ve gone mad. I was never into anything this crazy before, or at least I thought I wasn’t. Maybe I was always a freak and it just took these two men to unlock it within me.

“You’re crazy,” Ryan murmured into my mouth as his hand cupped my chin. “In the best way possible.”

I almost lost myself in the moment, I almost totally caved into Ryan, but then Markus crashed up against my back and I remembered that he was here. His hands ran up and down my thighs from behind leaving me gasping and panting with joy. I hadn’t ever felt so turned on in my whole life, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Ryan had his mouth running all over my neck and face, Markus’s hands were everywhere… he was claiming every single part of me, each curve, each peak, and it felt wonderful.

They were both consuming me, yet somehow there was still not enough of either of them. I wanted more, I needed it all, I was like a desperate crazed person with absolutely no self-control.

I ran my fingers down Ryan’s body until I found the zipper to his trousers. I held my hand there for a moment, trying to make a rational decision. If I took this step, it told the guys that I was truly in, that I was ready for what was to come. It wasn’t the smartest decision, but it was the one I desperately wanted.

Do it, Cassie, my wicked brain told me. It’ll be incredible.

So I slid my eyes shut and I just went for it. There was no point in second guessing myself anymore I was getting everything that I wanted. It felt too good, I was too overwhelmed with lust to turn my back on this now.

As Ryan’s trousers fell down and I shoved his underwear away with it, Markus was hitching my dress up and put his hands where I was aching for him. There was a deep pulse in my panties, one that needed to be explored, and he drew nearer to that hot, wet desire while panting and gasping into my ear.

I wrapped my hand around Ryan’s oversized, throbbing cock just as Markus’s fingers plunged into me, massaging me, feeling every damn delicious inch of me. It was all happening so quickly, yet not fast enough, I loved the sensations I had crashing all over my body, it felt utterly phenomenal. So much so that I could barely stand…

“Come on, let me take you to the bedroom.” I crashed into Markus’s arms, falling apart as he held me, and the two men deliberately took me into the one room where this would heat up yet another notch.

My heart was boiling hot with desire, my fingers were tingling with bliss, my lips felt rough and ready for action… my body was completely prepared for what was to come next, even if my brain hadn’t totally caught up yet. But that didn’t matter, I wasn’t interested in what my brain had to say anyway. This wasn’t the sort of thing that needed to be thought over.

As I cascaded into the comfortable bed sheets that were now very familiar to me, I couldn’t help but consider how different the situation was. This was a brand new sexual experience for me, and I enjoyed the way that made me feel. It thrilled me to know that my body was being opened up to another possible way to enjoy myself.

I’d spent far too long being closed off and sensible. Now was the time to shake all of that off, it was finally time to be free.

Ryan tore at the only item of clothing he had left on him, his shirt, before climbing over my body so that I could feel the weight of him pressed against me. I was acutely aware of Markus frantically taking off his clothing too, but I couldn’t look at him, not quite yet. Ryan had his lips on my neck, tickling a very erogenous zone of mine, then he moved them down to my chest. He was edging ever closer to my nipples, but he couldn’t access them because I had too much material in the way, so I heaved myself into a sitting position, and I whipped the dress up over my head in a split second.

Ryan smirked at me, and I smiled back, all the while tugging on the clasp of my bra. My nipples were standing to attention, basically screaming out for him, and I desperately needed to know how they would feel in his mouth.

The second they were free, Ryan pushed me back onto the bed and he took one of them in his mouth. I cried out loudly, my whole body buckled a little bit, this felt fucking phenomenal. I grabbed onto Ryan’s light-colored hair and arched further into him.

Then I spotted Markus, standing to attention right in front of me. My hands immediately slipped off Ryan, I wanted to get a feel of that cock instead. Sensing how badly I wanted to touch him, Markus edged his way closer to me, smiling the whole time.

I needed a taste, I wanted him close enough so that I could wrap my lips around him…

“Oh fuck!” I’d become so distracted by Markus, that it wasn’t until Ryan’s tongue was buried deep into me that I recalled what this was. This was two hot men, both desperate for my body.

Maybe I wasn’t quite as plain as I’d always assumed I was!

Ryan ran his lips and his tongue all over my slit until he found my clit. There he circled and drew patterns, which caused my body to heat up and swell all over. This felt so good, so incredible, and I wanted to share that with Markus too.

Eventually he was near enough for me to just about lick him. It seemed to amuse Markus to see how much I needed him in my mouth, so he teased me, sending every part of me wild. I wanted to slide him into my throat, to feel him fill my lips completely.

“Bit desperate aren’t we, you dirty girl?” He looked so damn pleased with himself I wanted to laugh.

“Yes,” I panted. “Just come here will you.”

As I got exactly what I wanted, an involuntary moan escaped my mouth, causing me to hum along his length. Markus shivered, he grunted, he sounded a little animalistic actually. I adored that, it felt really good to do that to him… especially when Ryan was driving me ever closer to the brink of passion. The pressure was building, the pleasure was growing and swelling through my body, I was about to lose it.

And then Ryan hovered up over my body and he slammed his wonderful cock into me, sending me over the edge. I couldn’t contain it anymore, it was all too much. These two men had bliss swallowing me whole, crashing over me like a tsunami. I couldn’t control myself as I thrashed, as I writhed, it was wonderful. I was shuddering, buckling, collapsing and it felt amazing.

I couldn’t even scream out, I couldn’t even yell loudly with this bliss because I was still tasting Markus…

However he wasn’t being so quiet. “Oh fuck, Cassie, you’re wonderful. You have no idea what you’re doing to me. You feel so… so…” I couldn’t recall him being so vocal the last time we were together, but I had to say I really liked it.

As he exploded that sweet, salty desire into my mouth, dribbling some of it down my chin, my heart fluttered and hammered with pleasure in my chest. Ryan was still working me, causing the intense, powerful orgasm to continue. I was in Heaven, flying high, my head was utterly dizzy with desire. He wouldn’t be long either, I could tell from the way his thighs were tense and trembling. Soon we would all have fallen apart, and unfortunately that moment felt like it was coming for me far too quickly.

I never wanted this moment to end, and it didn’t feel like it ever would. I felt like my body would always feel this great, that this pleasure would never subside. With Ryan and Markus both in this bed I didn’t think I’d ever feel normal again.

There was a chance that I was the luckiest woman alive.

 

***

 

Oh my God, what have I done?

I bolted upright in the bed, fear and terror coursing right through my system. I just couldn’t believe it, how the hell had I let that happen? Why did I allow things to go so far?

I glanced down towards the bed, looking down at the two men that lay next to me. They were both so peaceful, sleeping happily with no demons whatsoever plaguing them… but then again, why shouldn’t they? Maybe this was the sort of thing that they did all the time, and I was just another girl in the ever revolving door of women they used for their games.

Shit, I needed to get out, I had to make my escape before the both of them woke up and wanted to have a super awkward chat about the whole thing. There was no way in hell I could discuss that. To be honest I just wanted to forget that it’d ever happened. I’d wrecked everything now, I’d totally messed up any genuine chance I had with Markus, and now I needed to escape before I truly broke down and wept.

I slid out from under the sheets and picked up my scattered items of clothing, cringing every time a memory flickered into my brain; lips, teeth, tongues, torsos, body parts everywhere. My entire body heated up with the utter shame of it all.

Tear pricked my eyes as I covered up my body. This was officially the most insane bold move that I’d ever taken, and I had a feeling that I would regret it forever.

With that thought in mind, I took one final glance at the two men I’d now have to strike off my list of people I could never be in the same room as alone again, then I scurried out the door like a terrified mouse, escaping the vicious, wild cat.

Or two of them, in my case.

This walk of shame was one I’d rather not have taken, I felt like every single person was looking at me, judging me, knowing exactly what I’d done. I kept my eyes fixed downwards so I didn’t have to look at anyone. I just didn’t like the horrible sense that I had inside, I hated the feeling that I’d done something wrong. By the time I crashed through the door to my apartment, there was only one person in the world that I felt comfortable talking to.

Ring, ring…

“Come on, Amber, I need you,” I muttered in frustration while hopping from foot to foot.

Ring, ring…

It wasn’t that early, was it?

Ring…

“Hello?” She finally answered sleepily. “Is everything alright with you, Cassie? It’s like the middle of the night.”

“It so isn’t,” I hissed a little angrily. “Look, I really need to talk to you. It’s so important.”

“Ooh, is it about the party? How did that go? Was it the most magical night ever? You looked incredible.”

I glanced down at the dress I still had on, just because I wasn’t totally sure where my original clothes were. Only this time I couldn’t see it in the same way, it looked a little trashy. “It didn’t quite go to plan,” I warned her before kicking off with the story. “Things got very complicated, very quickly.”

“Complicated how?” Amber was more alert now, intrigued to hear more. “What happened?”

I slumped onto the couch and slid my eyes shut, ready to tell my most shameful secret ever. “Ryan was there, to begin with.”

“Who’s Ryan?”

“Oh my God, don’t you remember anything? Ryan, the guy I kissed at the Christmas party? Markus’s friend?” The more I said it aloud, the worse it sounded.

“Oh no, did he tell Markus about it?”

If only that was the problem! “No, Markus already knew, I told him beforehand. It was just weird. They were like, competing over me.”

“That sounds hot as hell!” Amber exclaimed, not sensing any distress in my voice. “I bet that riled you up like mad, didn’t it?”

I couldn’t help but smirk just a little at that remark. It seemed I wasn’t as strange as I first assumed. Maybe I needed to stop worrying so much. “It did actually… which is how things took a turn for the crazier.”

“What do you mean?” She slurped loudly, clearly relishing this gossip session. Actually it felt good to be the one providing the information for once, usually I was on the sidelines listening to her fun stories.

If only mine didn’t have such a tragic ending.

“Well, we… slept together.” Silence. A silence rang out so loudly I almost freaked out all over again. “All three of us.”

“No. Fucking. Way.” Okay, so she didn’t sound judgy or pissed off which was a good thing. If anything, she actually sounded a little impressed. “Sensible Cassie had a threesome with her hot billionaire boss and his just as rich friend. Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?”

“Nope. No joke.” A giggle rose in my throat. Amber’s shock was enough to wash away at least some of the guilt. “It really happened. And trust me, I’m just as stunned as you are.”

“How was it?”

“Honestly, at the time it was absolutely amazing. I had the best time ever, but now… well, now I feel a bit weird. This morning I freaked out and ran off before either of them could wake up.”

“Why? I thought you were going to marry Markus!”

“He’s hardly going to want to marry me now, is he?” I laughed mirthlessly, hating the reality of that statement.

“Why not? He was just as involved as you, remember?”

“I know, but it’s different, isn’t it?”

“Why?”

Amber stumped me with that question. Why was it different? It hardly made sense, did it? “Dunno, just is,” I eventually mumbled childishly. “Just the way it is.”

“So now what are you going to do?”

Great, another question that I couldn’t answer. Now it was finally time to tell Amber the truth, but that was mainly because all hope was lost. “I really like Markus, I have done for a very long time.” The words felt bittersweet on my tongue. I’d had him, he was within my reach. I could’ve had everything I ever wanted and I threw it all away. “And now I think I’m going to have to quit my job. I don’t think I can face him every day, it’ll kill me. It’s been hard enough seeing him anyway, but now I know what we could’ve been and I allowed one night of madness to ruin it.”

“It doesn’t have to be the end though, does it?” Amber asked me a little desperately. “There are ways around it.”

But I couldn’t see any of them. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack, it just wasn’t there. “I don’t think so,” I told her sadly. “I think this is well and truly over.” And with that, my heart shattered into a million pieces in my chest.

 

***

 

I got into work super early the following Monday, because I needed to be the first there. I had to prepare myself for the utter humiliation that was to come. I needed to get myself totally ready for the worst day of my whole life.

I’m sorry, Mr. Smith, I practiced the speech again in my brain. I don’t think I can work for you anymore. I can either work out my notice until you find someone else… I desperately prayed that he didn’t go for that option. Or I can leave right now.

If I just didn’t look him in the eye, it’d be simple. I could just about get through it without totally losing my shit. I never wanted to leave this job, especially not under these unexpected conditions, but what else could I do? There was no way I could stay with my emotions all over the place, I’d end up going insane.

“Hello there,” I heard him coming in before I saw him. “Hi everyone.” He sounded far too chipper for my liking, like he wasn’t feeling anything like me. The fact that I was potentially about to destroy that happiness had my heart hammering guiltily in my chest. “Hello, Cassie. Do you mind stepping into my office in a moment? I need to speak to you?”

Shit, was he going to fire me before I quit? Somehow that would be a billion times worse because it’d also carry his rejection with it. “Erm, sure,” I stammered, trying to cover up the fact that I was dying inside. Still I couldn’t look at him. My eyes were everywhere but at Markus. “I’m coming.”

Unfortunately, Markus didn’t get the hint that I needed a moment alone, he waited for me which meant I couldn’t even breathe deeply to steady myself. Instead I had to go inside with panic bulldozing through my system.

I tiptoed through the door and took my seat, feeling like I was about to be scolded for allowing that night to happen.

“Are you okay, Cassie?” Markus asked me in a very kind tone of voice. “I feel like you’ve been avoiding me. You ran out…” My eyes snapped up to him as he brought up that night at work. I hadn’t been expecting him to actually speak of it here. Seeing his gorgeous eyes made my heart flip flop unwelcomely in my chest. “And that’s the first time you’ve looked at me since.” He reached across the desk and grabbed onto my hands, displaying none of the sex consciousness I was feeling. “I know it was a bit crazy, but you’re okay, aren’t you?”

“N… no,” I stammered as a reply. “I’m not really.” Everything felt hot and cold all at once. “I think I might have to… to leave. I can’t be here knowing that we… did that.”

“What?” he exclaimed loudly, jumping upright. I winced at the volume of his voice in such a public place, but again he had no self-consciousness about it. “Are you serious? You cannot leave. I can’t let that happen. I need you to stay.” As he moved around to the side of the desk where I was standing, I felt grateful that at least his office had no windows. No one could see the goings on in here. “I like you, Cassie, don’t you get that? You’re the best PA I’ve ever had.”

That comment burned my heart. My feelings for him ran way deeper, I couldn’t see him every day and know that he didn’t feel the same way that I did. “I can’t just be your PA anymore.” My eyes were welling up, I felt pain everywhere. “It’s too hard for me. I know this is my fault, but I shouldn’t have done anything with you knowing that I felt so much for you. Now I’m in a real mess.”

One stray tear escaped and cascaded down my cheek, which Markus rapidly flicked away. “What are you talking about? None of this is your fault. We’re consenting adults, aren’t we? We had fun on all the times we were together, didn’t we?” I nodded slowly, because I couldn’t deny that however much I wanted to. “So what’s the problem?”

He was being dense. I was going to have to spell it out, it was the only way this agonizing conversation would ever come to an end. “Markus, I’m in love with you. I have been for a very long time, and I finally get my chance with you and I blow it because of Ryan. I only like him in a physical way, and I’m gutted that had to be the reason this all ends…”

“Who says it has to end?” Markus interjected, wiggling his eyebrows at me. “I love you too, I have done for ages. The only reason I forced myself to keep away until I literally couldn’t resist anymore was because I know my sexual appetite isn’t to everyone’s taste.”

“Wait.” I held my hands on his chest to stop him for a moment. “So you really liked all of that?”

“Could you not tell?” His smirk made me chuckle, despite the weirdness of the situation. “Look, Cassie, I’ll be honest with you. All my relationships before have ended because I felt like I was forcing my kinkier side on them, that the others weren’t really into it, but with you it comes natural. I don’t get the impression that it’s things you’ve ever done before?” I shook my head, confirming his point, all the while my emotions were dancing all over my body. “But you like it, right?” I nodded silently, my vocal chords seemed unable to work. “So what’s the issue? You like kinky, I need it, I need someone to keep me on my toes.”

This was all resonating so much with me. Maybe this could actually work if we both loved each other enough. He liked thrilling new things, I was definitely up for trying them with him, so what could go wrong? It really felt like nothing.

“I am more than willing to do things on your terms, I would never want to push you into a situation that you aren’t comfortable with, but I love you, Cassie. I want to give us a try. The only question is, do you?”

“I do,” I gasped, clutching at my chest. I didn’t even need to really think about it, the answer was absolutely obvious. Markus had always been the man for me, now I could see just how much.

After all, who cared what went on with us in the bedroom? That was our business only.

“So, please stay and be my PA? And please be my girlfriend too? That would make me the happiest man alive?”

I smiled so brightly I feared my face might crack. This day had gone from the worst ever to the absolute best. I had to be the luckiest woman alive. “I will, to both those questions. Thank you so much, Markus.”

His lips met mine and I felt that chemistry once more, that really powerful spark. How could I say no to any of this? I’d have to be absolutely insane. No one made me feel as good as he did.

“Now I want you to go over there, and lock the office door,” he murmured into my mouth. “You want to try something new? We’re going to have sex in public, at work, over my desk, and I have a little surprise for you in my brief case too.”

“You do?” I could barely breathe with a nervous excitement. “Are you insane?”

“Very, but don’t worry, this room is sound proofed and no one can get in. I am about to show you a very good time. I have the sort of whips and toys in this bag that will drive you wild.”

Ooh, I liked the sound of that!

His seductive tone was enough to have me racing to the door and clicking the lock shut. I wanted to experience yet another very good time with Mr. Markus Smith.

“Do you always carry that sort of stuff around with you at work?” I purred as I flicked the lock downwards. “Or is it only for special occasions?”

“Trust me, Cassie Symmons,” He smirked as he flicked the case open, even laughing as I gasped loudly and clapped my hand across my mouth. “You’re going to find out.”

He reached out for me, and I took his hand happily. There wasn’t a single other person on the whole damn planet that I would be willing to take this crazy sexual journey with, but when it came to Markus, I knew that he’d be worth it. Just because he was a freak who wanted to unlock my crazy passionate side, didn’t make him any less sweet or caring. He was the perfect man for me, and I had a feeling that we were going to have a very happy life together.

“You know I’m going to have to marry you soon, right?” He smiled as he grabbed me for a kiss. “I’ve never met anyone as perfect as you.”

“Do you know what? I don’t think being your wife would be the worst thing in the world,” I teased as I glanced over his shoulder to see what he had. “Now get that red thing out, I want to see what that does.”

Yep, this might not be a very traditional happy ever after, but I got the impression that it was going to be mine.

 

THE END