Chapter 7 – Kayla
Oh my God, was this really happening? Was I actually kissing this guy? And did it really feel so good? I knew that Hex was hot, and that he had a real intense sexuality about him, but the passion he was creating inside of me felt off the scale.
I didn't usually sleep with guys right away, I was much more accustomed to waiting until at least the fourth date because I liked to understand what guy's intentions were with me, but now… now I was feeling like I might just be in the mood to break that cycle. My whole body was on fire, my brain was swimming with desire, I felt hot and sticky and we hadn't even done anything yet…
“Wait,” he snapped back from me, panting hard. “Shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. That was…” he stood up, backing away from me as if I was a succubus or something, drawing him in to me. “I'm your bodyguard, I'm supposed be… to be looking after you…” his eyes were flickering everywhere as if he were scared that we'd been seen.
“It's okay,” I told him miserably as everything inside of me cooled. “Don't worry about it, we can just… forget it.” If he was going to freak out and regret it, then I really didn't want anything to happen either. I needed to be wanted and needed, and that feeling had gone. “Let's just… get some sleep.”
I glanced down sadly at the bed beneath me, imagining what could have been happening if he'd just allowed his body to lose control. It would have been so intense, so much fun. I'd never felt so much chemistry before and I wanted to know how that would go…
Still, it didn't matter now. It was time to forget about it and move on.
“Shall I go out into the hallway?” Hex asked nervously. “I can still wait out there if you want…”
“No,” I replied a little too sharply. “No you can't leave me alone.”
“But I won't sleep…”
“The windows,” I gasped, terror gripping onto my heart. This was about so much more than one failed kiss. “What if he gets in?” I shivered involuntarily as I remembered the texture of him against me, his smell, the horror he struck into my body. I didn't want to be alone again. “Please stay.”
“Yeah… yeah okay I will,” he nodded slowly. “I'll just sleep on the couch or something.”
I handed him some sheets, and watched as he climbed himself into a snuggled position. I wanted those arms around me again, I needed him to hold me, but there was no way that I could ask again. This was going to have to be enough.
I grabbed myself some pajamas and made my way into the bathroom to change. There, I stared at my reflection in the mirror for a moment, looking at how weird I looked under the harsh lighting. My expression was a mix of fear and sadness, my eyebrows knotted tightly together, my skin pale and pasty. The world got the best version of me, always. That was what I was paid to give them, but that was so far from what I looked right now.
Urgh. I shook my head sadly and glanced away from the shiny mirror. This situation was crazy. I had so much else to worry about, and my life was in danger. I shouldn't have been concerned about who did and didn't want me.
By the time I slunk back into the room, it seemed that Hex was sleeping, but as he turned to face me and our eyes locked I felt the tension rise again. There was definitely something between us. No matter what either of us thought, that wasn't going anywhere, but it really didn't matter. We'd just proven that nothing could ever happen.
“Goodnight,” I whispered, climbing under my own bed sheets.
“Yeah, goodnight.” He sounded just about as sad as I felt.
My head hit the pillow, but I couldn't sleep. The sexual tension was floating above our heads and it was making me feel all kinds of things. I wondered what he was thinking, if Hex was having the same kind of thoughts as me, but of course I couldn't ask. Not without making things more awkward than the already were.
The image of his mouth on my neck filled my mind in a split second, and despite the fact that I really didn't want it to I found myself writhing a little, gripping onto the sheets beneath me.
Good God I wanted him, I wanted him bad.
“Hex?” I asked quietly, turning over to face him, but this time he really was asleep. His chest was rising and falling lightly and he let out a light snore.
Great, just me suffering then. I was the only one in a desperate needy state. It seemed that Hex had kissed me then fallen asleep from boredom! He didn't care that nothing had progressed at all.
I was an idiot, and about to get my heart handed to me on a plate if I wasn't careful.
“I'm your bodyguard, I'm supposed be… to be looking after you…”
It seemed that he really meant that, and it wasn't just something that he was saying. I needed to accept that and move on. I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to think about something else, anything else, but the only person in my brain was him. I might have only known Hex for a few hours, but it had already been a roller coaster of a ride with him. I had gone from hating him and what he stood for, to having my life saved by him, to kissing him… then being rejected by him.
How the hell were we going to act normally around each other now? This was going to be impossible… I needed my stalker caught sooner rather than later. Then there would be no need for Hex to stick around, then I could go back to mostly, sort of, looking after myself.