“I don’t even know why I’m getting involved in this.” Taylor sighed as she walked down High Street with Abigail at her side.

They slipped into their favorite Mexican restaurant and found a table in the back.

“I so didn’t want something like this to happen.” Abigail buried her face in her hands, muffling her voice.

“I thought Colin was supposed to be one of the good ones.”

“Obviously, I did too.”

“Is that why you cheated on him with Mack?” The words slipped out before Taylor could stop them, and she knew how they sounded. Judgy. And she did not want to be that judgy friend.

“Wanna know something awful?” Abigail asked, finally looking at her friend.

“Ummm, probably not, but I guess you’re going to tell me, anyway.”

She didn’t get a chance to because their waitress showed up at that exact moment. She set a basket of chips and a bowl of salsa on the table before taking their orders. This place was popular with the underclassmen because they weren’t known for carding.

Abigail didn’t continue with their previous conversation until her margarita appeared a few minutes later. Taylor sipped a water as she eyed her roommate. This was their last hangout before they went their separate ways for Thanksgiving and she hoped the Colin situation would blow over by the time she got back.

Abigail took a long drink before setting it down and squeezing her eyes shut. “I don’t even think I regret being with Mack.”

“After everything that’s happened?”

“Especially after that.”

“Wait a second,” Taylor held up one finger. “Are you telling me you like Mack?”

“No,” she said quickly. “Maybe. Does it even matter?”

“Yes. It does.” Taylor leaned away from the table and crossed her arms over her chest, a smile forming on her lips. “Really?” she laughed. “Mack? Huh…”

“Don’t look at me like that.” Abigail kicked her under the table.

“Don’t get me wrong, Mack is definitely more your type, it’s just…” She paused for effect. “He’s been chasing you for a while now, and you’ve been running. Fast.”

“He only wants me because I didn’t want to jump right back into bed with him.” Abigail frowned. “Besides, what does it matter now?”

“Oh, it matters.”

“No. When I picked you up on Sunday, I promised I’d take care of the Colin problem. For Mack. That’s why it doesn’t matter. It can’t. Not anymore.”

“Abigail, what did you do?”

Abigail finished her margarita and threw some money on the table before standing. “Have a good break, Tay. I’ll see you when you get back.”

As she watched her friend walk away, Taylor thought of the girl she’d met when she first moved into the dorms a couple months ago. The girl who picked her up when she was crying in the rain. The one who was annoyingly bubbly and always in search of fun. That wasn’t the girl who just left here. But she was right. The articles that’d been released over the past few days, chronicling Mack’s transgressions, had no more quotes from Colin. No more talk of lawsuits or references to drugs. The clean drug test took care of that.

Now the Dispatch and other hockey sources were reporting trade rumors. Taylor’s dad was on edge and Josh was putting all of his spare energy into helping Mack. The team was on a winning streak and that alone was enough to silence some of the questions.

Mack was on a tear, with five goals in the last three games. Josh was doing his best on the first line. He wasn’t potting goals, but every other part of his game was solid. Taylor was forced to watch it on TV because the team was on the road. She didn’t mind though. She was perfectly happy sitting on the couch in her parent’s house with her mom and sister.

It was like old times. When the Winterhawks would go on the road, they’d have girl time. No dads. No boyfriends. Before college and everything else that’d happened.

Taylor got out of her car and hiked her bag up on her shoulder before walking up the driveway and in the front door. “Mom,” she called.

Her mom appeared from the kitchen and wrapped her in a hug before she could get any more words out.

“Suffocating here,” Taylor wheezed.

Her mom stepped back with a laugh and looked her over. Surprising Taylor, she slugged her lightly in the shoulder.

“Hey!”

“Taylor Scott, you live not twenty minutes from here, and the only times I’ve seen you in the past few weeks are at hockey games.”

Taylor rubbed her shoulder but dropped her scowl. “Sorry.” She shrugged. “School’s been crazy.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure it’s school that’s been keeping you busy.” She winked, but the action just looked awkward on her face. Taylor couldn’t help but laugh.

“Mom!”

“Your father and I do talk, you know.” She took her by the arm. “Come help me with the pies, and you can tell me all about him.”

“Where’s Ev?”

“Napping, so we have some time, just us.”

“Okay.”

They set up at the counter with everything they needed for her mom’s perfect pumpkin pie recipe. It was so familiar that Taylor felt a small twinge of nostalgia, bringing a smile to her face.

“Care to share with the class?” her mom asked.

“What?”

“You’re spacing out on me.”

“Oh.” Her cheeks grew warm. “Sorry.”

“Does it have something to do with Josh Walker?”

“Huh? Mom …”

“I told you,” she laughed. “I know everything.”

“Oh God.” Taylor leaned against the counter and covered her face with her hands.

“Confession time,” her mom said. “I looked him up. I mean, I’ve met him briefly, but I wanted to see his stats.”

“Of course you did.” Taylor couldn’t help but laughing. Priorities.

“Your father seems to think he’s going places in this league.”

“Do you really want to talk about his game?” Taylor looked sideways, sensing an ulterior motive.

“These boys are different.”

“And the truth comes out.” Taylor walked to the sink to wash her hands. “This is that talk.”

“A mother’s obligation.”

“Are you sure it isn’t coming from Dad?”

“No, actually, your father is quite a fan of the kid.”

“Can’t you follow his lead?”

“Josh seems like a nice young man,” her mom said. “But these kids … they’re asked to be men before their time. They enter the league when they’re so young, and in an instant have more money and attention than sense. It creates a certain kind of man. Look at the papers lately.”

“Josh isn’t like Mack.” Taylor dried her hands and stuffed them in the pockets of her jeans.

“Yet.”

Taylor stood across from her mom with her feet planted wide and narrowed eyes. It was a fighting stance. The front door opened and quick, heavy footsteps sounded in the hall before her Dad entered the kitchen.

“Taylor,” he boomed, his grin falling from his face as he took in the tension filled room. “Everything okay in here?”

“Yep,” Taylor lied, turning away from her mom. “Is the whole team home?”

As if on cue, her cell phone chimed before he could answer. She smiled when she saw who was calling. “Scratch that,” she said to her dad. “I already know the answer. I have to go.”

Answering her phone, she left her parents in stunned silence behind her. “Hey there,” she said.

“Hi yourself,” Josh said back. “I just got home.”

“I know.”

“I want to see you.”

“I know that too.” She laughed. “I’ll be there in a few.”

Mack went to grab dinner with a few of the guys on the team as soon as they got back, but Josh begged off. He’d spent enough time with them over the last few days, plus he’d be seeing them again tomorrow for Thanksgiving. They only had two days off before heading out on the road again.

Josh busied himself picking up the apartment and unpacking his bag. As soon as the plane touched down in Columbus, he’d had this need to see Taylor. To hold her. To kiss her. The other night had opened the floodgates to everything he’d felt since he met her. He’d been the good guy, the friend, waiting for her to be ready, even helping her get there, but it was killing him. Now he needed more.

There was a soft knock on the door, and he was there in a flash. As soon as he opened the door he pulled her inside, closed the door, and pinned her back against it.

“Hi,” she whispered.

This time he didn’t wait for permission, he dove in. When his lips touched hers it was as if an electric current ran through them both. She pulled him closer until his body was flush against hers as she opened up to him.

It was like nothing Josh had ever experienced before. For just an instant, they were the only thing that mattered. Their lips were just learning each curve, each crease, of each other’s. Taylor’s were soft against his rougher ones. Her face perfect, and his marred by all the broken noses and healed wounds that come with his chosen profession.

He cupped her cheeks, his fingers rubbing circles on her smoother skin as he tilted her head back to deepen the kiss.

Her arms were snaked around his back, holding on as if he wasn’t going to be there much longer.

With the need to breathe winning out, Josh broke away, inhaling deeply. Taylor leaned her head back against the door. Josh gripped her waist, not wanting to let her go.

“It’s a good thing you’re holding me up.” Taylor laughed breathlessly. “I’d probably fall right over after that greeting.”

“Isn’t that how you say hi to all your friends?” He grinned.

“Well, Abigail’s taken, but Sarah might be up for it.” She smiled back.

He scrunched his face up at that. “You do know that girl’s practically my sister, right?”

“Then I guess those greetings are just reserved for you.”

“Good.” He rested his forehead against hers. “I missed you.”

She stretched up to fit her lips to his once again.

A ringing interrupted them, and they broke apart so Josh could look at his phone.

“Speaking of Sarah.” He showed her the Facetime request.

Taylor grabbed the phone. “She’ll just keep calling.”

Sarah’s face appeared on the screen. “Tay?” she asked. “Did I accidentally call you? I thought I was calling Josh, but I guess I might have hit the wrong person. I’ve been meaning to call you to see how you’re doing anyway, so maybe that’s why I hit your name…”

“Sarah,” Taylor said, cutting off her friend’s rambling. “Stop. I’m just on Josh’s phone.”

“Why would you… Oh my gosh! Are you guys like dating?”

Taylor held the phone away from herself as her friend squealed. “I…” She looked over at Josh. “Dating is a strong word.”

Josh snatched the phone from her and turned it around so Sarah could see him. “No, it’s not, and yes, we’re dating.” Glancing at Taylor, he added, “If that’s okay with her.”

Taylor froze as unwanted anxiety clutched at her. She knew this was what she wanted. After that speech to her mom and that kiss - holy hell, that kiss - she pushed away the doubt that arose along with thoughts of Danny.

Leaning over to Josh, she gave him a quick kiss and then turned to Sarah, who was staring at them with her mouth hanging open.

“You’re going to catch flies in there if you don’t shut your mouth.” She laughed. It was a Dannyism and Sarah knew that, so she grinned.

“Is that a smile, Taylor Scott? And a laugh?” She threw her arms up. “Double score. Joshy boy, I didn’t think I could love you anymore than I already did. Take care of my girl.”

Josh put an arm around Taylor and squeezed her to his side in response.

“I don’t want to interrupt you guys anymore,” Sarah said. “Just checking in.”

“Bye, lady,” Taylor said before hanging up the phone and putting it on the coffee table.

She looked sideways at Josh, nerves building in her stomach. The passion from a few minutes ago had dissipated and Sarah was no longer an interruption. Now it was just the two of them and that word. Dating.

“You’re thinking something,” Josh said quietly.

“Huh?”

“That crease between your eyes tells me there’s something on your mind. And that frown tells me it isn’t good.”

“Then I guess you can’t read me as well as you thought,” she said, trying to change the subject.

“It’s because I said we were dating, isn’t it?” He scratched the back of his head and looked away. “If that isn’t what you want…”

Taylor cut off his words with a kiss. “That enough assurance for you?” she asked against his lips.

“Nope.” He kissed her again and didn’t stop until she was dizzy from lack of oxygen.

Taylor knew she still had a lot to deal with, but for the first time, she actually did want to deal with it. She felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff with only two options. She could either step off and fall, or she could jump and fly. It was time to fly.

Danny wasn’t alone in holding her up anymore. On one hand, she felt disloyal, but on the other, she knew he’d want her to be okay. Happy, even.

Her mom didn’t bring up Josh again, and she had a feeling her dad had something to do with that. It surprised her to have her father in her corner like that, but he knew Josh better than most people.

Thanksgiving dinner was just the four of them, and Taylor was glad. Since Danny died, she’d been so focused on herself and her grief that she felt like she hadn’t truly spent time with her family in ages. Even when they’d been together over the last year, everything was subdued, like they’d been afraid to smile in front of her, scared she couldn’t take it.

For the first time, Taylor was able to see how Danny’s death affected other people besides herself. How her reaction to it affected other people. She’d never be sorry for grieving him, but she began to regret how she’d done it.

It was good to see her parents’ playful banter; her mother’s sarcasm and her father’s self-deprecating humor. His team thought he was a hard-ass, but Taylor knew better. And then there was Evie. She’d giggle, and they’d all laugh in response. It was automatic. It was the way things used to be.

That night, Taylor sat on her bed with her laptop resting on her legs. Her cursor hovered over an icon for a Danny video.

“Tay?” her dad asked from the doorway.

She pushed her computer away as he sat next to her on the bed.

“You okay up here?”

She thought about his simple question for a long moment before speaking. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“You think we can love more than one person?”

“Honey, you can love as many people as you choose to open yourself up to.” He nudged her, and she laid her head on his shoulder.

“Are you okay with me and Josh?”

“Before the past year happened, I’d have said no. Now I just want to see you smile. My turn to ask a question.”

“Shoot.” She smiled at the way she turned his word back towards him.

“Are you okay with you and Josh?” He gestured to the video folder that was still up on the screen and gave her a concerned look.

“Oh… this… I’m just trying to figure out what to do.”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

“Okay,” she said slowly. “How’s this—Yes. Josh is what I want. What I need.”

“Then he’s what I want for you too.” He gave her a short side hug, kissing the top of her head, and left her to her thoughts.

She sent a quick message to Josh.

I could really use some French fries tonight.

He responded quickly.

You and your weird naked fries.

Wish you were here, she typed.

Me too. I want to kiss you so hard right now.

See you soon, she sent back before putting her phone down. She had a mission tonight. Something she needed to do before going to sleep.

She had two USB drives that she’d wiped clean. Plugging the first one into her computer, she copied all the videos onto it before pulling it out and dropping into the envelope she’d already addressed and stamped.

Danny left home when he was fifteen to play for the Winterhawks. After that, his family only saw him for holidays and part of the summer. It was something they regretted. She knew that because they’d cornered her at the funeral, wanting to know more about their son. She hadn’t been kind. In fact, she’d been pretty horrible to them. A year later, at the memorial service, she’d avoided them altogether.

Taylor had a lot of these videos. Videos that could say everything she hadn’t been able to tell them.

When the second USB was loaded, she went to her closet and pulled out the box she hadn’t opened in a year. It was full of Danny’s things and gifts he’d gotten her. It was stuff she couldn’t throw away. She dropped the USB into the box and shut her closet.

Then she did the only thing that was left. Slowly, she highlighted all the videos. Her finger hovered over the Delete button for a moment before finally pressing it down. She didn’t need the videos to remember. They only held her back. It was time.

Shutting her laptop, she put it on her desk before switching off the light and crawling into bed, falling asleep with only one boy on her mind. One who was very much alive.