“So you’re saying your dad put that piece of paper on your door?” Tessa is asking. “What for?”

“Believe me,” I say, “I have no fucking clue.”

Tessa’s arm is around my back as she tugs me into the house. I put mine around her slender back, too, and pull her to me. She’s warm, pressed to my side, and I try not to lean on her too much. I don’t want her to see how dizzy I still am. Don’t want to think about it, either.

She’s here. That’s all that matters. I thought I’d never get to hold her in my arms again.

Second chances.

Dakota comes out of the kitchen to meet us, wiping her hands on a towel. “Tessa! We were so worried. Dylan, you said you’d call me if you found her.”

“Shit. I forgot.” A full body shiver goes through me. “Is the heater off? It’s fucking cold in here.”

“Heater’s on. If you ask me, it’s hot like the pits of hell in here.” Dakota’s eyes narrow on Tessa. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry I got you worried. I was at work, running late, that’s all.”

Dakota nods. “I was about to leave. Need a lift?”

“Nah, I’m fine,” Tessa says, leaning into my side. “I have my car.”

Another shiver goes through me. I clench my teeth to keep them from chattering.

“Dylan, you okay?” Dakota shifts from foot to foot. In her short dress and with her wild dark hair, she looks a bit like a dark version of Tinkerbell.

“I’ll be fine,” I mutter.

A beat goes by in absolute silence.

Dakota shakes her head, gives a faint smile, then gathers her stuff and leaves us alone.

Tessa and I don’t move. We’re standing in the middle of the room, arms around each other. The feel of her pressed against me is so distracting that finding something to say is a struggle.

A huge shiver goes through me, rattling my joints.

“You’re so cold,” she mutters. “Maybe a hot shower will warm you up. That’s the only thing that helps when I’m cold.”

I nod, strangely reluctant to move.

“So,” I say, “you’re seriously moving out of your apartment? No more going back to your castle?”

She lifts her head. Emotions flicker in her wide eyes. “I’ve given up my castle, and my servants and my unicorns,” she mutters. “I swear.”

“Fuck, Tess.” My pulse beats erratically in my ears. So much I could read in those words, and my resolve is fraying faster than ever. “You shouldn’t be here.”

She pulls away slightly, her mouth twisting. “Don’t worry. I’ll go.”

“Dammit, Tessa, that’s not what I meant.” I scrub a hand over my face. “It’s just that… I can’t control myself when you’re with me, I can’t… Can’t keep away. I want you to stay. I want it too much.”

Her blue eyes darken, and this need for her, this urge to kiss her and fill her, grows with every passing second.

“If you don’t love me,” she whispers, “then what are you afraid of?”

But I do love her, and I am afraid. I stare at her.

She’s the one you want. The one you can’t live without, and you’re letting her slip through your fingers again.

“Tess…” I lift a hand to caress her face. “You asked what I’m afraid of. Here’s the thing: I see you in every woman I cross paths with, in everything I do. I wake up thinking of you. I go to fucking sleep thinking of you.”

She leans into my touch with a sigh. “You do?”

“Yeah. I work and walk and talk, and all I can think of is you.”

“Dangerous,” she whispers. “Didn’t know I was so distracting.”

“You are.” I stroke soft hair off her face to better see her eyes. “God, you are. Fact is, I can’t stop wondering where you are, what you’re doing all the time.”

Can’t. Can’t stop wanting her, can’t stop pouring out my heart to her, letting her know what I want. What I fear. Who I desire most: the one who can break me with one word, one look. It’s one and the same.

Her.

My brothers are playing in their bedroom. I can hear their laughter as we pass outside. Tessa is quiet as she tugs me toward the bathroom.

I let her guide me. I feel drained—like telling her what I fear was a purge, an act of bloodletting.

She releases me when we enter the small bathroom, and I fight a shiver. I feel cold to the marrow of my bones. Maybe I’m coming down with something. The thought has crossed my mind a couple of times. But the weakness comes and goes, and besides, no time for me to be sick.

I lean on the wall to catch my breath.

“Dyl…” Her eyes gleam with worry. “I’ve never seen you so bad.”

“I just need to rest,” I say. “Catch up on some sleep.”

“How long has it been like this?”

“Not long,” I mutter.

“Any idea what it can be? How do you feel?

“My joints ache. I feel like I haven’t slept in fucking weeks.” I glance at her and regret putting that fear in her eyes. “Look… If after the weekend I still don’t feel well, I’ll go see a doctor. Believe me, it’s no fun.”

She nods, tugs her lower lip between her teeth, and I can’t tear my gaze away.

“My mom called me,” she says, folding her arms under her breasts, and fuck, I can’t look away from their roundness. “She’s filing for a divorce.”

Now my gaze snaps up to her face. Her pretty mouth is downturned at the corners. “I’m sorry, Tess.”

“I was, too, at first. Now I think that’s the best that could happen. She isn’t happy with him. Who would be?”

I walk over to her and pull her into a hug. “So sorry. I know it’s tough, realizing a parent doesn’t care. I often wished Mom would return, even though I know she doesn’t give a damn about us.”

She squeezes me back so tightly it’s as if she doesn’t want to let go. We stand like this for a bit, and I inhale her cinnamon scent, feel her curves. It makes me hard again, but I ignore my body. I’m not moving until she’s ready.

Finally, she sighs and steps back. “You know what? I’m somehow glad all this mess happened—with Sean, with my dad.”

I frown. “How so?”

“It helped snap me out it. I wasted too much time waiting.”

I swallow hard. Does this mean she’s also given up on me? She hasn’t commented at all on everything I told her tonight—about my fears, about my thoughts. About the fact I can’t get her out of my mind.

The cold is seeping into my bones, and I step away. “I’ll just jump into the shower, okay? We can talk later, if you like.”

She seems lost in thought, so I turn around and start unbuttoning my jeans. I hear the door click. Assuming she’s left the bathroom, I let my pants pool at my feet, push down my briefs and step out of them. I take off my socks, then grab the hem of my T-shirt and pull it off.

When I turn back around, though, I start, because she’s still there. Her gaze is on me, her pupils dilating as she watches me. I lift a brow, trying to gauge what she’s thinking.

“Like what you see?” I ask quietly.

She laughs, a nervous sound, and her cheeks flush red. I can see her nipples hardening through her sweater. Her gaze rakes over my chest, slowly moving down, past my navel to my crotch and my aching erection.

Fuck. I may feel like crap, but I can’t help the way my body responds to her. I’m like oxygen to her flame: she ignites me. I need her so badly I’m scared of myself.

So I tear my gaze away, pull back the shower curtain, and turn on the hot water.

I hear a rustle, and I look back to see her tug her sweater over her head. Holy fuck. I lick my dry lips at the sight of her breasts, trapped in a black bra. Then she pushes down her pants and toes everything off, remaining in tiny black panties.

It’s just a black triangle in the front, strings at the sides. Her pale hourglass figure seems to glow in the dimness.

“Come here,” I say, my voice hoarse. “Now.”

She steps closer, her bare feet whispering on the tiles, her hips swaying in a hypnotizing rhythm. Tugging on her hair tie, she frees her blond mane, and it tumbles over her shoulders. Her blue eyes glimmer like a cat’s in the low light as she steps into the shower with me.

“I want to unwrap you,” I whisper, reaching behind her and finding the clasp of her bra. I press her to me, so I can feel the moment her breasts spill out of the fabric. I growl when it happens, her nipples rubbing on my chest. “Goddamn beautiful.”

I throw the bra out of the shower stall and run my hands over her amazing breasts, over their fullness, their softness, their hard points. I torture her nipples with my hands, then bend to take them in my mouth, one by one, loving the moans rising deep in her throat.

Can’t hold back much longer. While I suck on her tits, I slide my hands lower, to her tiny panties, and push them down her legs, so I can touch her where I want.

“Oh my God,” she whispers, looping her arms around my neck, as I rub my thumb over her seam, as I find her clit and circle it slowly. “Holy shit.”

I look up and grin at her dazed expression, then go down on my knees. “Beautiful,” I repeat as I spread her wide and press my mouth to her, replacing my finger with my tongue. I circle her clit, torture it, then lick deep inside her, and she lets out a breathless cry.

Goddammit, I’m about to explode. My balls ache. My cock is twitching and weeping. I pull back and reach down, grab my dick and grit my teeth to keep from coming.

“Need you,” she mumbles. “Inside me.”

The warm water beats down on us. Her long hair is plastered to her body. I’m panting, and my blood is rushing in my ears. I should get up, but she doesn’t let me, lowering herself on top of me, satiny skin sliding against mine. I grab her hips and steady her descent, until she’s sitting in my lap, her legs splayed on either side of me.

Leaning forward, I kiss her mouth, and she parts her lips, letting me in. I thrust my tongue inside, the way I want to thrust my cock into her heat. Her hand slips between our bodies and finds my hard-on. Her fingers curl around it and squeeze.

I jerk, my whole body spasming with pleasure. I gasp in her mouth and grab her hand, stilling it. “Tess, dammit. I don’t have a condom here.”

“I’m on the pill. Please, Dylan…”

Jesus. My self-control unravels so fast it’s dizzying. I grip her hips, lift her up. She shifts to a kneeling position and places her hands on my shoulders. The way she’s looking at me—with desire, but also with trust—is my undoing.

I’ve never looked a girl in the eyes while getting hot and dirty with her, but now I can’t look away. As I lower her, impaling her on my hard-on, I stare into her eyes and read it all—the desire, the affection, the pain, the strength. The vulnerability.

Then it gets too much—the pressure around my cock, the feel of her around me, the emotions—and I have to close my eyes as she sinks lower. The pressure is rising behind my balls, inside my gut.

In my heart.

As she takes in the whole of me, settling on my thighs, I think I’ve died and gone to fucking heaven. Pleasure fizzles on every nerve end. Warmth spreads down my chest, down my spine. A fire burns in my veins. We hold each other, melded into one, and I don’t want to be anywhere else, ever.

My girl. The only woman I’ve ever really wanted.

I grab her hips and lift her, groaning at the sensation, the friction. So damn hot. Her nails dig into the back of my neck, and she throws her head back, then moans when I drag her back down.

Fucking hell. My stomach contracts, and I hunch over, gritting my teeth as her inner walls massage my hard-on in slow, maddening waves. A growl rumbles in my chest. The need to speed up, to lay her back on the warm tiles and fuck her until she comes is tightening my muscles—but I won’t.

Instead, I smooth my hands up her back and suck on her nipples, while lowering and lifting her—trying to ignore my throbbing dick and the tightening inside me that signals my approaching orgasm.

Not yet.

Now she’s lifting and lowering herself, faster and faster, her breaths coming out in tiny moans, her fingers leaving imprints in my back, and oh, fuck, the pressure in my dick is reaching overload.

My head thunks back on the tiled wall. “Oh shit.” My hips rock upward, my thighs strain, I can’t… “Tess!”

She cries out, convulsing around my cock, squeezing like a vise, and all air leaves my lungs. I can only hold on to her as I explode, spilling inside her in a hot rush that goes on and on. My head slams back into the wall again, and I’m not sure the stars I’m seeing are from that or from the force of my orgasm. It’s like I’ve gone fucking supernova. My body is still jerking, my hips still rolling, milking the last ripples of pleasure.

So damn good.

Tessa lowers herself one final time and lays her head on my shoulder, panting softly. She clenches around my softening dick, and I groan, shuddering with aftershocks. I hug her closer, my hands spanning her ribcage, moving over the smooth skin.

The water is turning cold, but I’d stay here, with her. I’d warm her up, I’d hold her and stroke her hair.

Fact is, I’d stay with her to the end of time.

It’s freezing cold, and I shift restlessly, vaguely aware I’m curled on my side. I’m in my bed, so why does it feel like I’m at the North Pole, lying naked in the snow? My teeth chatter.

Then something presses against my back, warm and soft. A woman’s body, curvy and smelling of sweetness and sex. Her arm slips over my ribs, holding me close. I can’t remember the last time I’ve slept in a bed with a girl.

Tess…

She’s here, with me. The thought is both exciting and calming. Her scent is delicious. Her heat seeps into me, relaxing my muscles, and sleep pulls me under once more.

When I wake up again, I’m alone in bed. I throw the covers off and sit up, taking a moment to clear the black spots from my eyes. I never used to get light-headed before. It’s only these past months I started feeling like shit.

Then again, Teo has been sick, Miles bullied, and Dad is gone God knows where. I read somewhere stress will do that to you.

A sledgehammer is beating against the insides of my skull. Makes me want to hit my head on the wall to stop the pain. I frown, glancing back at the empty bed. Was Tessa really here last night, or was it a wishful dream?

I don my pajama bottoms and drag myself to the bathroom, where I splash cold water on my face. I stare at my bloodshot eyes in the cracked mirror, then turn to look at the shower. Did we really fuck in there last night, or was it yet another fantasy?

Can’t be. My brain’s fuzzy, filled with cobwebs, but the memory of Tessa moving on top of me on the ceramic floor of the shower burns like a flame.

She was here.

I swallow a couple of Advil and spin on my heel, heading out to find her. If she hasn’t left already. Maybe she decided this was the worst mistake of all, that she’ll never let herself be with me again—and who would blame her? I can’t even tell her I love her—and I do, goddammit, that much I’ve always known.

It’s as if the words are stuck in my throat and won’t be spoken. But I can show her. I want to show her. Actions speak louder than words, right?

And what have you shown her so far? That you can fuck her even when you’re about to pass out? Impressed her with your amazing dick? She wants to hear you say that you want more from her, that you care for her. That she’s not wrong, putting her trust in you.

Because she’s not the one who should be put to the test. Stop waiting for her to fail, to run. It’s you who shouldn’t be trusted.

You who should prove himself to her.

I walk into the living room, but it’s empty. Willing the damn headache to recede, I rub my eyes. Hopefully, the Advil will kick in soon.

Coffee, that’s what I need to clear my head, so I turn toward the kitchen. Lately I feel as if I’ve been living on pills and coffee. Worry and adrenaline. As if stress is the only thing keeping me upright.

A shout catches my attention. Miles? The hell is going on?

Teo screams, and I start running. What the fuck? What if Dad is back? What if he’s hurting them? In my haste, I knock into the wall by the kitchen door, then I burst inside, my heart booming.

I blink at the scene before me, my mind going blank. I stagger back a step, hitting the doorframe.

Tessa is bent over my little brother and seems to be in the process of tickling him into tear-inducing ecstasy. Miles is sitting nearby, laughing so hard his face is red. The remnants of breakfast litter the table—mugs and plates with… pancakes?

They aren’t in danger. No danger. Oh shit. Relief hits me like a punch to the chest, stealing my breath.

Tessa’s laughing, too. She turns to look at me, and her blue eyes are bright, her cheeks dimpled. Her gaze glides down my bare chest and lingers. Her eyes darken, and she sucks in a sharp breath.

My body immediately responds, tightening, my dick hardening, and dammit, I’m standing inside the kitchen with my little brothers. Fuck.

I drag the only other free chair and sit, clasping my hands over my crotch, hiding my hard-on. “Hey, Tess.” I swallow. “I see you guys are getting along fine.”

“Hey, yourself.” She bites her lip, which distracts me so much I miss what she says next, as I imagine myself tugging on that softness with my teeth, teasing her, then kissing her… “Dylan.”

“Sorry, what?”

Miles snickers. His mouth is stuffed with pancake, and jam is dribbling down his chin.

“I said, would you like some coffee?” Tessa says, smirking, and I’m back to staring at her small, pretty face, her neck, the curve of her breasts…

“Yeah.” I tug my lip ring into my mouth, release it again. My dick is like a monolith inside my pants. Since she likes archaeology, maybe I could ask her to dig it out… Dammit.

She turns to grab a mug, which only means I’m now openly staring at her heart-shaped ass and long legs, my jaw slack. What if I’m drooling? I sweep my hand over my chin to check.

Miles is snickering like a demented banshee, and I glare at him. That doesn’t stop him, of course.

I don’t want him to stop. Damn. When was the last time I heard him laugh?

“No milk, right?”

“No. No milk, no sugar.” I lick my lips. “I didn’t think you’d still be here when I woke up.”

“Of course I’m here.” She glances at me over her shoulder. “Told you I left my castle.”

“You did. That’s true.”

She turns and places a mug of steaming coffee in front of me. I put my hand over hers, around the warm mug. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She flashes me a quick smile and steps away. She’s gone quiet again.

“What are you thinking?”

“Thinking of you.” She winks at me over her shoulder.

Warmth spreads in my chest. “Seriously?”

“Oh yuck. That’s so disgustingly romantic.” Miles makes a face and grabs Teo’s hand. “Come on, Teo. You’re too young for this.”

I blink, then lift my hands when Tessa mouths, “What happened?” to me.

My brothers wander off to the living room to watch cartoons, and it’s just the two of us left in the kitchen.

Tessa leans back against the counter. Her breasts rise and fall with each breath she takes, stretching her sweater, and she runs a hand through her long, tousled hair. She bites her lip lightly—small, white teeth sinking into soft flesh.

My hard-on returns full-force, and I groan, folding my arms on the table and dropping my head on them.

“Dyl?” She steps over and pokes me on the arm with a fingertip. “You okay?”

“Yeah… I might need some help with this, though,” I say and turn, spreading my legs, letting her see how hard I am. My erection is tenting the pajama pants to a breaking point.

Her breath catches, and she turns her gaze away, but I grip her arm and pull her to me. “Come with me.”

She glances again at my trapped cock and lowers her gaze.

I get up and pull her behind me. “Come on.” As we cross the living room, I tell Miles, “Tessa and I have to talk. Keep an eye on Teo, yeah?”

“Talk?” Miles says and rolls his eyes.

“This is grown-up business, Miles,” I mutter and keep walking, Tessa behind me. My brain may be fuzzy, and a headache may be trying to hammer through my skull, but nothing can stop me from taking this girl to my bed and making love to her. The whole world can wait.

Death can wait, for all I care. This is happening, right here, right now.

“Seriously?” Tessa sounds like she’s trying not to laugh, as I drag her away. “We’re going to talk?”

“Seriously.” I pull her into my bedroom and slam the door closed behind us. Then I turn around and take her in my arms. “Now, where were we?”

“You needed some help,” she whispers, and fuck, I love her smile and the light in her eyes.

“That’s right.” I press against her, pushing her backward, letting her feel how hard I am for her. “This is what you do to me whenever you’re near, princess.”

“So I distract you both when I’m near and when I’m far.”

“Yeah. That’s how it is.” I nuzzle her cheek, inhaling her sweetness. “How it’s always been.”

Questions are crowding her gaze. I want to kiss her before she speaks but don’t get the chance.

“Why?” she whispers, looking straight into my eyes, into my soul. “Tell me why.”

“You have to be more specific,” I mutter, caught between desire and the need to see her smile return.

“I’m not asking why you broke up with me those years ago. We were kids, and you had a lot going on, with your mom leaving. I knew that. I know it. But now you say you always wanted me.”

“I did. I still do.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Her voice shakes now, vibrating with pain. “Why did you pretend you couldn’t see me and looked at every other girl instead?”

I gather her close. “I was an idiot. I thought it was for the best.”

She hits my chest with her fist, lightly. “For the best?”

I wish she’d hit me harder. I deserve it. “I thought you moved on. I was so damn jealous of every boy you kissed. Anyone you kissed that wasn’t me.”

“It was only kissing. It didn’t mean anything.”

I just hold her, feeling her warmth, her strength. Preparing to tell her the truth. I take a deep breath, let it out. “I’m scared of love.”

Her fist is still resting on my chest. Now her fingers uncurl, splayed over my heart. “Why?”

“Love fucked this family up.” I press a kiss to her forehead. “After my mom left, and I saw how it destroyed my dad… Love is dangerous. I thought if one could only turn it off, then it’d be safe. For my brothers. For me.”

She produces a choked sound, like a sob. “Is that what you’ve been doing all these years? Trying to turn love off?”

“It destroyed my family, Tess.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. It held your family together. Your love for your brothers, for your dad… It’s what makes you a family. Unlike mine.” She rests her cheek on my chest. “Mine fell apart because there was no love to hold it together.”

I say nothing, standing still. She’s right. I want to tell her, but words were never my strongest suit. I express myself through actions, so I lift my hands to her face, stroke her wet cheeks and kiss her.

It’s not just a kiss. It’s a kiss to end all kisses, to erase every other kiss from her memory. It’s a kiss to tell her how much she means to me, how much I want her, how much I need her.

Her arms come around my neck, and she kisses me back. I taste her tears, her anger, her grief, her love for me.

I’m hers.

I tug on her sweater, and she tugs on my pants. We fall on the bed in a tangle of limbs and discarded clothes. I suck on her neck as she rakes her nails down my back, then trail my mouth lower, on her bared breasts, teasing her nipples. Every inch of her tastes like candy apple and caramel, every part of her fits perfectly against mine—soft against hard, curve against flat plane.

I roll her under me and kiss a trail down to her bellybutton, then lower, and she arches on the mattress as I burrow between her legs and taste her. I pull her legs over my shoulders, and she reaches down and tangles her fingers in my short hair. She tastes of summer mornings and spring rain, of cupcakes and dark spices.

“Please,” she murmurs, “please, please…”

Fuck, I have to be inside her, can’t wait a second longer. I pull back, bend over her and kiss her, swallowing her whimper, letting her taste herself on my tongue. Reaching down, I grip my weeping, aching cock and guide it inside her, groaning as I sink into her velvety heat.

I rock into her, and her legs tighten around me. Her hair spills on the comforter like liquid gold. My hips snap forward, pushing me deeper, and my insides clench. I can feel the wave of pressure rising, and I snap my hips faster, sparks of pleasure chasing up my spine.

Holy shit. It feels better every time, every time more intense, more powerful. More meaningful, like a symbol of the future.

My cock grows heavier. I’m so close, and she’s moving with me, moaning. Moaning my name.

Shit. I lose control, rocking frantically in and out of her, my teeth gritting with the cresting of pressure and the onslaught of release. Black teases the edges of my vision, bleeding inward. I brace my hands on either side of her head, a shout building in my throat. She tightens around me, and I crash my mouth on hers, so we swallow each other’s cries.

So perfect.