Zane is standing in my living room, looking pissed as all hell. His Mohawk is growing tall again, dyed a deep purple, and his dark eyes are flat and angry. He’s already refused a beer, and it just shows how fucked up my brain is that I didn’t remember he doesn’t drink anymore—not after he ended up in a coma from alcohol poisoning a couple of months ago.

“Care to explain what the hell you think you’re doing, fucker?” He glances at Dakota, who’s kneeling on the carpet, playing with Miles and Teo, and lowers his voice. “Are you out of your mind?” he hisses.

“What?” My head is pounding, and I’m so cold I don’t think I’ll ever feel warm again. It’s evening. I’ve finished work, returned home, and I’m slumped on the sofa, pretending I don’t feel like a double serving of days-old roadkill. “What are you talking about?”

“Tessa, that’s who I’m talking about.” He jabs a finger at me. “And you know it.”

Okay, fine, so maybe I guessed that much. I was just hoping to avoid this conversation. “What do you want me to say, man?”

“That you’ll stay away from her and stop making her sad. That chick would’ve jumped into a fire for you, and you go and give her hope and then break her heart again. Stay away from her.”

Just like Asher told me I should. Fuck.

“Did she say that?” My chest tightens, like I can’t draw enough air. Not see Tessa again? Not sure I can survive that. “Did she say she wants me to stay away from her?”

He shrugs, sucks on the barbell in his tongue. “Not in so many words.”

“Look, Z-man… She’s only helping me out with my brothers.”

“You slept with her.”

“Christ, Zane. It’s not like I forced her.” I rub my aching forehead. My whole body is a giant throb. “She wanted it, too.”

Dakota turns her head and shoots me a look that could cut through glass.

Ow.

“That’s beside the point,” Zane mutters, running his hands over the shaved sides of his head. “Don’t you fucking get it?” He sits on the chair across from me and waves a hand in the air. “After the way her parents behaved, and that motherfucker of an ex… She needs space. She needs calm. She doesn’t need you fucking with her head to scratch an itch. Plenty of chicks who can do that for you, fucker, and Tessa is my friend.”

Bitterness wells inside me. I thought I was his friend, too. I know it’s childish, but it stings. “I wouldn’t hurt Tessa.”

“Guess what, genius? Too late for that.”

Fuck.

“Keep away from her, Dylan.”

“Yeah? And what will you do if I don’t? Disown me?”

“Seriously, fucker?” Zane sits up, scowling. “You wanna fuck with me? I’m gonna punch the living daylights out of you.”

“You can try,” I mutter. “Asshole.”

“Hey, hey.” Dakota scoots over to us and sits between Zane’s legs. Her plaid skirt rides up over her high black stockings and military boots. “Enough. Now make up.”

I sigh and lean back, raking my hands through my short hair. I don’t want to fight with Zane, or think about what I should and shouldn’t do with Tessa. My body is heavy, my thoughts sluggish, and darkness waits to draw me under. I fall through emptiness, spiraling down, images from the past flashing around me. I see Mom holding Teo. I see Dad reading his newspaper at the kitchen table.

I see Tessa’s eyes, her smile. She’s holding me and telling me everything’s gonna be okay. She’s here, with me.

“Dylan.” A woman’s voice, a hand shaking me.

“Tess?” I slur. Why is she shaking me?

“Dammit, Dylan,” Zane’s voice rumbles from a few feet away. “What’s up with you, man?”

Wait—Zane?

I blink my gummy eyes and focus on him. A glance to the side confirms it’s not Tessa who’s by my side. It’s Dakota, her large eyes wide.

We’re in my living room, and last I remember, Zane was chewing me out over Tessa. “Shit. Sorry.”

“You okay, Dylan?” Dakota releases my arm and sits back. “You drifted off for a second.”

“I’m fine.” My standard response in the past months. Everything’s fine, nothing to see here, move along.

Dakota gets up, smoothing her hands over her short skirt. “I’ll go make some coffee.”

I watch her go, trying to gather my scrambled thoughts. I’d really thought Tessa was here, with me, and it had felt so damn good.

So right.

“Fucker…” Zane shakes his head, his face pinched. “You’re not on drugs, are you?” He keeps his voice low, but I risk a look at my brothers, who are playing in the corner of the living room, next to the space heater. Zane and Dakota brought them a box of brightly colored Lego blocks, and the boys love them. “Cuz if you are…”

“I’m not.” I shift on the sofa, and every bone in my body hurts. “Just tired.”

Fucking embarrassing, falling asleep in the middle of a conversation.

“Maybe you need vitamins,” Zane says dubiously, his dark eyes on me. “Are you eating well?”

“Yes, Mama Zane. I buy organic produce every day, and I cook holistic meals and shit. Satisfied?”

“No, Christ, fucker, I’m not satisfied. And you haven’t answered the question.”

“What, are you gonna fucking order me to eat well now, like you ordered me not to sleep with Tessa?” Fuck, I don’t mean to snap at him like that, but damn, I can’t think straight. “What do you want, man?”

“The same as always.” Zane frowns and shoves his hands into his pant pockets, the hoops in his brow glinting. “For all my friends to be okay, to be happy.” He kicks at the carpet with his boot. “You’d think I’m asking for the fucking stars.”

I sigh, let my hands hang between my legs. “You’re doing your best, Z-man, helping all of us, and you’ve had your fair share of problems. Don’t sweat it.”

“If you’d just tell me how to help, fucker…” He falls silent when Dakota walks back inside with steaming mugs.

“I found only the instant stuff,” she says apologetically and pushes a chipped mug with a ninja turtle print into my hands. “Here you go.”

I nod and sip at the coffee, grimacing at the unexpected sweetness. Then again, if I look as bad as I feel, it makes sense she’d heap on the sugar.

Zane accepts his mug and cradles it in his hands, looking around the living room. He hasn’t been here often, and I try to see the place through his eyes.

The walls are bare, because when Dad abandoned ship a year ago I had a moment of rage and tore down everything, mainly posters and pressed flowers Mom left. The furniture is old and covered in throw rugs, because despite my best efforts to clean it the covers are stained and fraying. One leg of the coffee table has been repaired with duct tape. I can’t even remember when I did that. The curtains are grimy. The carpet filthy.

Jesus. I remember my dad’s note in the cupboard. ‘Cleanse this house.’ Maybe he’s right.

I wince, waiting for Zane to comment.

But the seconds trickle by, turning into minutes, and Zane says nothing. Slowly he steps over to me and sits beside me on the sofa, next to Dakota.

“About Tessa…” he starts, and I raise a hand to stop him.

“That’s enough.”

Moments trickle by. Zane sighs and nods.

Dakota clears her throat. “Hey, you weren’t at Tyler and Erin’s place yesterday. Did you hear the news about Ash and Audrey?”

I shake my head, then regret it when it feels like my brain rattles inside my skull. “What news?”

“Ash and Audrey are having a baby. Ash proposed to her, and she accepted.” Dakota’s big eyes are soft with emotion, and Zane is grinning. “Isn’t it great?”

“Wow.” I search for words. “That’s amazing.”

“You should have seen how happy they look.” Dakota looks down, into her steaming mug. “It was awesome.”

Asher always knew who he wanted to be with, and he fought against the odds until he convinced Audrey to be his.

I also know who I want, who I’ve always wanted. Tessa. Only I fucked up, and now it’s too late. Damn, the thought of not seeing her, not having her around is a hot blade in my gut.

“Can we do anything for you?” Dakota asks. “I could take Miles to school sometimes and babysit.”

I’m grinding my jaw, and I force myself to stop. “That would be a huge help.”

“What do you need?”

“If you could babysit tomorrow afternoon, while I’m at work, that’d be fantastic. I’ve asked my neighbors to do it once too many.”

Tessa would love to babysit, I hear Audrey’s voice in my head. She loves kids.

Shit.

“Deal.” Dakota smiles, and I do my best to smile back. “I’ll be here.”

“Don’t you have classes or something?”

“I’ll arrange it, take one afternoon off.”

“And I can drop Miles off to school tomorrow,” Zane says.

“Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.”

I really am grateful—but the future stretches ahead of me, uncertain and going uphill. Maybe it’s the fatigue that plagues me, but I can’t help but wonder what will happen after tomorrow. Who will take the boys to school, who will protect Miles from the bullies, who will babysit while I work…

How I will go on without Tessa’s bright smile.

Although it feels good to have my friends here, hope has long deserted me, and I’m already bracing for the worst.

Jim, the senior personal trainer at the gym, looks up as I enter and waves. “Hey, Dylan. Feeling better today?”

“Yeah,” I say carefully, pasting on a smile. “Much better, thanks.”

“Glad to hear it.” He gives me a thumbs up, and I return it.

Two days ago, when he last saw me, I had to leave work because I almost passed out when getting up from a machine. Can’t even remember which one.

Damn scary.

So today I take it easy, fend off the advances of three chicks and help others with their exercises.

Time passes way too slowly. At least I know Dakota is at home with my brothers, second day in a row, and that’s a weight off my shoulders. I’m going through the motions, ever since Tessa left my house saying she can’t do this anymore, ever since Zane and Dakota came over and told me to leave Tessa alone.

Payback is a bitch, isn’t it? I made Tess suffer, and now it’s my turn.

I want to make her happy, be the reason she smiles. I want to hold her, kiss her, fill her up until she screams with pleasure. Until she screams my name. Until my name is the only one in her thoughts.

Too late for that now.

Hours pass. The customers leave, and others arrive. I make my rounds, nodding and exchanging empty pleasantries, my mind stuck on one face, one scent, one body.

Tess…

The day’s work is almost over, and the thought fills me with relief. My cell rings, and I answer absently while correcting the posture of a new guy using the chest fly machine. “Yeah?”

“Dylan?” Dakota says. “Where are you?”

“At the gym.” I step away from the machine, frowning. “What is it? Are the kids okay?”

“Yes, they’re fine, although they keep asking for Tessa.” She sounds miffed, and I grin before I remember Tessa is off limits and not coming back.

“Then what?”

“Has she called you? Do you know where she is?”

A cold feeling starts in the pit of my stomach. “What do you mean? I thought she’s staying with Audrey and Asher.”

“Did she call you, yes or no?”

“No, she didn’t call me.”

“Crap.”

My heart is hammering so hard it might crack a rib, and my head pounds. “Dakota, spill. Why the hell are you worried? What do you know?”

“She wanted to go back to her apartment, grab some important papers. Audrey and Asher couldn’t go with her, and it seems she really needed to have those papers for her job, so…”

“So you think she went alone?” I’m already moving, gesturing at Jim that I have to go and ignoring his what-the-fuck-now expression. “Dammit, Dakota, I’m going to go find her.”

I expect her to tell me not to go, to keep away from Tessa, but maybe she’s just as worried as I am, because that’s not what comes out of her mouth.

Instead she says, “When you do find her, give me a call, okay?”

“Sure.” I disconnect, call a cab, grab my bag from the locker and step out into the cold. A violent shiver goes through me, and I zip up my jacket.

Be okay, Tess.

The cab arrives and I jump in, directing the driver to the fancy neighborhood Tessa used to live. Or maybe she wants to move back there?

There’s nothing I can give her…

The cab drops me in front of her building, and I jog to the entrance. I ring the intercom, but I get no reply. So I pull out my cell and call her.

Please, Tess, answer. Please.

“Dylan?” Her surprise comes through, loud and clear over the line. “Hey.”

“Hey.” I lean against the huge glass doors of the building, weak with relief. “You’re okay.”

“Yes, I’m okay. Why shouldn’t I be?”

“Where are you, Tess?”

“At work, I stayed late. Why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I thought…” I close my eyes. “Well, the others thought you’d gone back to your apartment to get some things, and we were worried you’d run into your ex. You weren’t answering your phone.”

Silence ticks by. “I didn’t hear it,” she whispers. “Must have put it on silent by mistake. Where are you?”

“Outside your building.” I blink and push off the door, try to remember if there’s a bus stop nearby. “Glad you’re okay. Didn’t mean to bother you.”

“You’re not bothering me.” She sounds like she’s smiling, and I have no idea why, but I’m still reeling with relief at the fact she’s okay. “I wouldn’t go back alone. I promise.”

“Good,” I say gruffly. “That’s good.”

“Look, I’m finished here. I can come pick you up and take you home.”

“You don’t have to.”

“No, but I want to.”

I chew on that. She’s being polite. And I should say no. She’s made her position clear, and Zane pounded it home. But I want so see her so much it’s like a physical ache, and let’s be honest, now that the adrenaline is fading, I feel like I’m hung over to hell and like my skin is stretched too tight over my bones.

“Dylan? Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I am. Thanks. I’ll wait for you.”

“Great. Be there in ten.”

She disconnects, and I stare out into the gathering darkness. Yeah, I’ll wait for as long as it takes.

“You always work late?” I lean back on the leather seat of Tessa’s jeep and try not to shiver too hard. It’s warm inside the car. Compared to the icy wind blowing outside, it’s like sitting inside a furnace. And I’m still cold.

“No. I wanted to finish writing a funding request letter, so I could send it.”

“Funding request letter… What do you do there exactly?”

Her eyes brighten as she starts talking about her new job—the significance of the archaeological site, the social aspects, her part in it.

“You’re amazing,” I say when she stops to take a breath. A smile tugs at my lips. “I mean it.”

Her cheeks flush. “Thanks. I adore this job. I don’t think I’ve ever been this interested in my college classes.”

“So you’re dropping out of college?”

“For now. Maybe for a year, to decide what to do and get my life back on track.” She tucks a strand of hair behind an ear. “So much has changed. So much to do.”

Something is different about her. I try to figure it out. Her sweater is falling off one shoulder, baring her smooth flesh. She’s wearing skin-tight, ripped jeans and tall boots. Her hair is caught in a messy ponytail. All this is new, and still…

Her face. It’s so fresh and beautiful. Her skin is bare of any powders and creams, letting faint freckles show on her cheeks. She has a dark smudge—of maybe ink?—on the tip of her nose. Her lips part, and I can’t look away, dying to kiss them, aware my jogging pants are growing tighter by the second.

“I do need to go back to my apartment,” she says, and I force my mind out of the gutter.

“Thinking of moving back in?”

“No, I… No, I’m not going back. I can’t stay in a place that Sean has access to. I just need to grab my things. I have my papers, my laptop, my books, my clothes …” She glances down at herself and makes a face.

“I love how you look now,” I say truthfully.

She pulls a loose strand of hair into her mouth and chews on it. It’s oddly charming. And madly sexy. “No, I’m a mess. I’m not even wearing lipstick. The printer broke down, and I had to change the cartridges. My hands were black. Took ten washes to get the ink off them.”

Well, that explains the ink smudge. “You look fine.”

“No make-up, my hair hanging like this… My parents would go into hysterics if they saw me.”

“Well, I’m not your parents.”

“Yeah. I noticed that.” A snort escapes her. “But I look terrible.”

“God, you have no idea…” I lick my lips, and allow myself to stare openly. “You’re so beautiful like that.”

“Like this? All dirty and disheveled?”

“Yeah, like this. With your hair down and no make-up, so I can see the color of your lips and the shape of your eyes. There’s nothing to distract me, no glitter and no fancy brands. I can see you.”

She ducks her head, but she looks pleased. A bit disbelieving, but glad.

The most beautiful girl in the world, and she can’t seem to realize just how pretty she is. That she’d be pretty in a trash bag or in my old ratty T-shirts or… or completely naked.

“So…” She shifts gear and steals a sideways glance at me. “You went looking for me? In case Sean decided to show up?”

“Yeah. Of course I did.”

Her blue eyes darken. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

I shrug. “Left early. What the hell was I supposed to do, let the bastard get his hands on you?”

“I just…” Her mouth twists into a crooked smile. “Didn’t think you cared.”

I frown at her. “Tess… I do care for you. Dammit.”

She looks straight ahead, at the road, as if focused on driving, but her mouth trembles.

“Tess…” I suck in a deep, bracing breath. “I know I fucked up, but at least believe this much.”

She shakes her head and leans back in her chair, pulling on the handbrake. I look outside. We’re home, but I make no move to get out of the jeep. There’s something else I’ve been meaning to ask—ever since that fateful gala night when she fell into my arms and then stood between me and her ex as if she’d take a bullet for me.

As if she expected a bullet from him.

“This Sean Anholt…” Her gaze shoots sideways at me, her eyes wide. “What did that motherfucker do to you?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Look, I know I don’t deserve your trust. Not yet. But I swear to God, Tess, I’m gonna find him and hang him from his balls, whether you tell me how he hurt you or not, because he did. You can’t lie to me.”

She clenches her slender hands on the leather-bound wheel and worries her lower lip with her teeth. That’s always a distracting sight, but I’m both too worked up and too exhausted to do anything about it.

Besides, she’d probably curse at me and leave, never to return.

“He did hurt me,” she finally admits, not looking at me. “Forced himself on me. But that was years ago.”

I smash my fist into the dashboard, and she yelps. “I’ll fucking kill him.” Rage colors my vision red, makes my pulse pound in my head. Makes the world spin.

“No, Dylan.” She reaches for me, and her hand hovers an inch from my face, never touching. “Don’t.”

I lower my fist, breathing hard, and force myself to stillness. “I’ll make him pay.”

“No,” she says again, her fingertips trailing over my jaw. “You won’t. You can’t. His family owns half of Chicago. You’ll only get yourself behind bars, and your brothers will be left with nobody to look after them.”

Dammit. Fucking hell. My jaw aches from grinding so hard. “I can’t promise you I won’t.”

“No. I told you. This is my life, my past, and my decisions. You don’t get to do this because you’re angry, not when I tell you I don’t want you to. I want to forget the past, not make its consequences worse.” Her hand drops to my shoulder. “I’m asking you to not approach Sean Anholt for any reason, okay?”

Unable to reply to this in any acceptable manner, I open the door of the jeep and jump out. The world is spinning faster now, and as I turn to close the door, it tilts and starts going black. I grip the car door to keep my knees from buckling and blink furiously, waiting for my eyes to clear. I feel as if I can’t get enough air in my lungs, and my harsh breathing echoes in my ears.

Slowly my eyes clear, and I make out the street lamps, the house with its yard of overgrown weeds—and Tessa’s worried face.

She steps closer, wrapping an arm around my back. “You really are wiped out, aren’t you? Dylan?” She waits until my acknowledging nod, before she says, “Let’s get you inside.”

I say nothing, letting her drag me down the path to the front door. Then I dig in my heels, and my pulse starts pounding again.

A piece of paper is stuck on the door, fluttering in the wind.

It reads, ‘Judgment Day is coming.’