Leaving Rose’s room with my phone perched between my shoulder and ear, I close the door quietly behind me. I wander out to the living room and collapse on the couch. Settling Rose can be exhausting sometimes, but with the added elements of little sleep and trying to talk on the phone, my exhaustion levels are rising today.
I lean back and close my eyes, trying not to give in to my imminent hibernation, but then I blink a few times in an attempt to wake myself up. “Olive?”
“Yes, of course. Sorry, I’ll send you the video when we get off the phone.” Releasing a barely detectable yawn, I await Linda’s reply.
“Darling, you need to sleep more. I thought you said you were getting that baby girl into some sort of a routine. They thrive off it.” I barely hold in a growl. I’m not perfect at this parenting gig; I know that. I doubt anyone is. But she also has no idea where her own son is, or what the hell he’s doing—that makes two of us. The only difference between Linda and me is that I’ve passed the point of dwelling over it. And I’d never take a shot at her over everything he’s done because it’s not her fault at all.
“It’s not Rose who’s keeping me up; I’m just having some trouble sleeping. I’ll come good again; it’s just a matter of waiting it out.” I wake up a little at the thought of who’s been keeping me up at night. Seb has become such a dedicated boyfriend—god, it feels weird saying that—he’s now even more of a stable fixture in my and Rose’s life if that’s even possible. Between Seb being at my house, texting, calling, and some random outings, it has definitely caught up with me today.
“If you say so. Let me know if there’s anything I can do. Do you need anything?” Linda asks politely.
Rubbing the back of my hand over my eyes, I try to stop a yawn in its tracks before answering. “Nope, we’re good. Thank you. I’d better go now, though.” Before I become even more irritable with exhaustion. “Might take a nap before Rose wakes. Talk to you soon and have fun, even if you’re working over there.”
“Okay, I’ll try. Give that girl a kiss for me. Bye for now, Olive,” She hangs up the phone before my tired brain can formulate a goodbye.
Placing my phone down on the coffee table, I lay my heavy head down on one of the cushions on the couch and curl up into a makeshift ball, allowing sleep to take me as its hostage.
Jolting upright, I wake to the sound of my phone ringing. I reach toward the coffee table, slapping my hand about blindly before finally grabbing it and checking the caller ID. Smiling, I slide my finger across to accept the call.
“Hello,” I say sleepily.
“Shit, sorry, Liv. Did I wake you?” Seb’s voice is laced with concern.
“All good, what’s up?”
“Just finished work and I’m about five minutes away. Okay if I come over?” There he goes with the asking again.
“Stop asking already; you’re welcome anytime.” Sometimes, he’ll take my word for it and just come over, but other times, like now, he seems to hesitate first.
“Sweet. See ya soon.”
Heading to the bathroom, I do my business and wash my hands. Looking at myself in the mirror, I fix my hair into a messy bun—totally rocking this mom look—and quickly brush my teeth. Retreating down the hallway, I soundlessly pass Rose’s room and go to meet Seb outside. I reach the curbside just as he pulls up in his truck. He jumps out from the cab and stalks around it toward me with a contagious grin lighting up his face. Reaching me, he tugs me against him and wastes no time in claiming my mouth, setting my tired body into overdrive. I can’t help but wonder if he’ll always make me feel like this with just a kiss.
Pulling away, he licks his bottom lip. “Afternoon, beautiful. Where’s my sweet girl?”
I gesture back toward the house but hurry to say, “She’s still sleeping, and don’t you dare wake her. It took me a while to get her to settle earlier.” I walk to the mailbox to grab the mail before heading back up to the house with Seb on my heels.
“Coffee?” I ask. Already knowing the answer, I turn on the Keurig. Moving to the other side of the kitchen counter, I pick up the mail to see what bills have made their way to my mailbox today. It’s never ending. He breathes lightly on my neck as his body wraps around the back of mine, his hands fall to rest on the counter, caging me in. A soft, slow kiss warms my shoulder as his tongue travels toward my ear. Trying to concentrate on sorting through this joyous task, I push my hips back toward him, letting him know that this mail isn’t going to open itself.
“Yes,” he breathes into my ear. I tilt my head slightly, scrunching up my nose. Huh?
He chuckles, tweaking my nose. “Yes, I want coffee,” he continues, laughing into my ear as I finally catch on. “Oh, har, har.” I smile and roll my eyes, going back to slicing open the edges of the letters.
Phone bill, pass.
Power bill, pass.
Appointment notice for Rose’s next set of shots. I mentally make a note to remind myself to add that to the calendar for next month.
The envelope at the bottom of the pile is handwritten, probably a letter or card for my birthday from some long-lost relative. Nothing new. Slicing it open, I tip the envelope and shake it upside down to let the contents spill onto the counter. I hear Seb’s breath hitch on my neck where his nose was still nuzzling, and then the feeling of warmth on my back disappears. With wide eyes, I drop the envelope onto the floor beside me like it’s burning my hand, and it hits the ground with a light tap as I lower my head.
“What the fuck, Olive?” I hear from behind me, not daring to turn around. I can hear the anger in his voice, and that’s something that I don’t need to see right now. I’m feeling just as shocked and confused as he obviously is.
“I don’t know, Seb. I’ve got no fucking idea.” Hurt and confusion pour from my voice. How the hell can he be angry? It’s not like I knew what it was.
He spins me around to face him; his jaw clenched tight. “How long has he been sending you this shit?” The skin between his eyes creases with hurt and fury.
“You have no right to be angry right now. He has never sent anything before, let alone a check.” My fists clench at my sides in an attempt to calm myself down, nails digging into the palms of my hands.
I watch his nostrils flare slightly then the crease between his eyes seems to smooth itself out at the sound of my voice. “How the hell can I believe that?” He releases me and runs his hands through his hair in clear agitation. “What, he just thinks he can send you money, and everything he has put you and Rose through is forgiven?” Pausing, he blows out a turbulent breath. “Not on my fucking watch.”
“I agree with you Seb, I do. But this doesn’t mean anything, and it certainly doesn’t change anything, especially between us.” I move to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I promise you; this is the first time it’s happened.” He stares into my pleading eyes then finally relents and folds me in his arms. I rest my head against his chest, inhaling his familiar scent and trying to calm my jumbled thoughts and emotions. “What are you going to do with it, Liv?” His voice is stern yet somehow soft.
“I don’t know. I mean I don’t want it, but I don’t know.” I honestly have no idea. I don’t want his pity money. I want nothing to do with him. Just like he wanted nothing to do with Rose and me. Hell, he doesn’t even know her name.
Withdrawing from each other’s arms, Seb reaches over to the counter and takes the check. He seems to be thinking about my answer, worry washing over every inch of his handsome face.
“I know exactly what to do with it …” And with that, he holds the check with both hands and rips it down the center, rendering it useless. My shoulders drop, and I sigh with relief as he places it in the trashcan.