Eli
“I just…you don’t mind…right?” The anger had started to fade into something that left me shaky and frustrated. The combination was almost as bad as the rage had been.
“It’s fine, Eli. I promise. Houston won’t mind. Come have lunch with us and just hang out. It will be okay.” Reece’s calm voice didn’t seem to hide any exasperation for having to deal with my crazy again, but I still wasn’t sure about Houston. After everything that had happened the other night, I was pretty sure he was still ready to kill me.
“Houston’s not going to, like, tear me limb from limb?” I was almost teasing.
Reece laughed. “He’s not mad anymore. Just don’t bring it up.”
I wasn’t sure about that, but I wasn’t in any mood to argue with him. If I couldn’t blast that ass online, then I was going to have to vent to someone. And I resented Houston’s shitty comment that I only called Reece when I was insane. I liked talking to Reece; hiring him had been one of the best things we’d done lately.
As I hung up the phone, I finally noticed how quiet the office was. The normally bustling area where people were blogging and fighting over advertising ideas or schedules was eerily silent, even for a weekend. When the screaming had begun everyone who’d been working had evacuated pretty fast, leaving me alone as I’d stalked down to the offices on the first floor.
Leaning back in my chair, I stared up at the ceiling and closed my eyes. As I’d stormed off, I’d ended up down at the computers, but I’d managed to call Reece instead of posting first, and then calling second. So I was doing better than other times I’d had it out with the ass.
When Reece had originally come in for an interview, he’d seemed so vanilla even Preston had been hesitant about hiring him, but things had completely turned around once he’d started to open up. The boring business suit IT guy had turned into a bi submissive who’d been looking for a master. Perfect for the company.
He even tolerated my crazy and the circus that the office devolved into sometimes really well. Reece was just so calm and relaxed that he was like Preston, leveling out the volatile emotions that had a tendency to run through the models.
Looking at things a bit more logically, I should have asked him to come in and just watch the shoot. We’d rescheduled it from earlier in the week, and I’d thought that having the other models around would make both the ass and myself behave more like rational adults, but that didn’t seem possible.
Roman and I had rubbed each other the wrong way since he’d started working at Leashes and Lace, but I’d thought it couldn’t get any worse than the first fights. Unfortunately, I’d been wrong. I’d also been an idiot. I knew better than to get involved with judgmental assholes.
But the way he’d looked at me.
It’d been incredible. It was like I was a living work of art that he wanted to capture and keep forever. I’d never been pushed that high simply by a spanking. Something about the entire experience had sent me right to the edge. But then everything had come crashing down.
Roman had gone from almost loving to insane in a matter of seconds.
Even weeks later, I still wasn’t sure what had happened. Looking back, I should have asked more questions—or at the very least thrown a shoe at him and demanded answers. Normally, it took full intercourse before a man went apeshit on me and changed his mind about fucking the guy in panties. Roman and I hadn’t even gotten that far.
He’d still had all his damned clothes on.
That’d been frustrating me too. Having him so close but still not knowing what he looked like under those conservative clothes made me a little nuts. Maybe it was because so many of my closest friends were people I’d seen naked, but I was always suspicious of the constantly clothed. They always seemed like they were hiding things.
But fuck…for that one moment, he’d been incredible. It had all been perfect.
Then crash! It’d exploded.
A little part of me knew I’d done something, I usually had, but I didn’t know what had gone wrong. As my orgasm had faded, I’d found myself sticky and stuck in panties that should never have gotten that dirty, and then Roman had lost it. Maybe if I hadn’t been feeling so vulnerable it would have been different, and I could have thought things through rationally...been a little more Elijah in just those few seconds.
Probably not.
“What are you still doing here?” Preston’s smooth voice made me jump.
“Huh?” Straightening up in the chair, I swiveled around to look at him.
“After that performance, I was pretty sure you’d have stomped off to do something stupid.” One eyebrow went up, and he glanced at the computer.
He knew me too well.
“Why are you here?” Maybe I could turn the tables on him and not get a lecture. “You said you couldn’t make it in for the shoot?”
“I got an anonymous call that you two were going to tear each other’s throats out…or have sex in the middle of the shoot. They weren’t sure which, but both options made them nervous.” It might have been funny if he wasn’t so serious.
Damn it.
I was going to have to figure out who’d tattled.
“We got the pictures.” I wasn’t sure what else Preston expected me to say.
We’d gone back and forth about what to do over and over but never came to a conclusion. One on hand, sales were up and the site was busier than ever. On the other, the rest of the staff couldn’t seem to decide if the circus the shoots had become were scary or entertaining. Some, like Reece, had tried to stay neutral, but it was getting harder. Even I could see that.
Not that I could stop myself. He made me nuts.
“It can’t keep going on like this. You’re miserable, and most of the time you leave shoots ready to crash the website. I was expecting to have to make another panicked call to Reece. He’s going to kill us both if you keep crashing it.” Preston sighed, rolling his eyes. “I already owe him enough time off because of all the overtime that he could swim to England.”
“I behaved.” I waved my arms, gesturing to the computer and then back to myself. “See, I’m calm. I’m going to head over and have lunch with Reece and Houston in a few minutes.”
Preston made a strangled laughing sound and shook his head. “Houston’s talking to you already?”
I sighed and slumped down. “Reece promised to keep him from tearing me limb from limb.”
“Reece did, huh?” Preston sounded pleased at hearing that. “Well, maybe they’ve patched things up, then.”
“They’re perfect for each other.” I’d known that the first time I’d seen Houston watching Reece. They’d just needed a push.
“Maybe.” Preston seemed to know I was right, because he gave me a smile and changed the subject. But the smile faded, and he leaned casually into the desk, wearing his you’re not going to like this face. “I need to talk to you about Roman.”
Shit.
I wasn’t even sure where to start. “It just got out of hand.”
“It’s more than that, and you know it. The photos are great, and the sales have been even better. I’ll admit I only let it go on this long because I thought you two actually liked each other and just needed to learn to communicate. But it’s not working. You’re both miserable.” Preston looked more conflicted about all of it than I’d seen in a long time. There were circles under his eyes, and I knew it was lack of sleep that had done it to him. He hadn’t looked this stressed since the first couple of months we were trying to get everything off the ground.
“I’m sorry.” I shrugged, still at a loss for words—which was really unusual for me. “The pictures will probably turn out great, if that’s any consolation.”
“It is…but, Eli…” Preston’s voice trailed off, and he looked away.
Shit.
When he started talking again, his voice was quieter. “Do you remember when we first started the company, and you said that you thought I should handle most of the hiring?”
“Yes.” I could tell I wasn’t going to like the direction the conversation was taking.
“Do you remember around that same time we were talking about roles in the company and our strengths?” He finally glanced back at me, and when I nodded, he kept going. “You said I would probably have to be the one to fire someone because you had a tendency to keep people, even when they were bad for you and should have been chased off a long time ago.”
I’d been thinking of my family in that conversation. It wasn’t one I would forget. “Yes.”
“I need you to think about why I made this decision, Eli.” His quiet voice had my stomach going in circles. “I fired Roman.”
It was like a tornado came roaring through the room. I got light-headed, and suddenly the room started to spin. When I could think again, I found my head stuck between my knees, and Preston yelling at me about being a goddamned drama queen.
He was so cute when he worried.
It only took a second for my brain to clear as I sat up. Shit. “You fired him?”
The sentence didn’t make sense, even though I understood the words. “Why?”
Preston looked at me like I was an idiot. “Because you two have scared the rest of the staff so badly that I had a couple of the models come to me and ask me not to put them in the same shoots as you guys. They weren’t sure what was going to happen, and they were freaked the fuck out.”
Oh.
“But the photos are always great, and we’ve never crossed the line.” Out of all the things I’d expected him to say, that he’d fired Roman wasn’t one of them.
“Physically, maybe, but verbally yeah, you guys crossed the line, Eli.” Preston gave me an understanding look, then glanced back toward the stairs. “He calls you a hooker and you scream obscenities at him or taunt him into losing it. And I know the two of you thought I didn’t hear the crazy things you said to each other when you were doing that stupid bet where you only wore panties for days, but I did.” When I didn’t respond, he kept going. “The anger and emotion coming from both of you is frightening.”
“But…” But he was supposed to quit and give up trying to make my life hell, not get fired.
“No, this is my veto, Eli.” He wasn’t angry, but there was steel in his voice. I knew he wouldn’t back down.
Preston wasn’t as loud as I was or anywhere near as colorful, but once he made up his mind, he was done. My brain was still fighting to process what he’d said. “But…”
I sat there quietly for another moment until it started to catch up to me. “I have to go.”
Standing up, I started heading for the door. I had enough of my brain working to pat my pockets down to make sure I had my keys and phone, but that was about all it was good for. Preston called out to me as I walked away, and I could hear the concern in his voice, but I just waved him off. I needed some space.
I understood why he’d done it. I’d demanded that he fire the ass three times the first week after he’d started, but Preston had always explained that the pictures were beautiful, and he wanted to see if we could sort out our differences. He’d thought Roman and I would eventually figure out how to function together.
As I walked out the door and toward the parking lot, I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. I should be elated. Even if he hadn’t quit, I wouldn’t have to hear the anger coming at me. Everything would go back to the way it’d been before he’d shown up and turned the company on its head.
It took me too many tries to get my keys out of my pocket and actually open the door. My fingers wouldn’t work, and I ended up opening the trunk instead of unlocking the car before finally getting in and shutting the door.
The privacy and the quiet only made it harder to process what had happened. As I looked out at the windshield and toward the building, I tried to picture how it would feel to walk in there Monday and know he wouldn’t be coming in…to know I wouldn’t have to see him again or deal with his anger.
It should have been easy.
I should have felt relieved. Right?
I should have been happy that the tangle of emotions he caused were gone.
It wasn’t that easy.
I kept coming back to the pictures and the way he’d looked at me while he was taking them. Not just the shoot where we’d lost our minds, but the others. Even after that night, the way he’d looked at me hadn’t changed. The desire and passion made him angry, and he’d say cutting words I wasn’t sure he really meant, but the expression on his face sometimes would slice right through me.
When he thought I couldn't see, or maybe he didn’t even realize he was doing it, desire would flare in his eyes and a possessiveness I’d seen in other men would vibrate out of him…but I hadn’t wanted them. I drove people crazy. Well, Eli drove people crazy. I wasn’t going to hold myself back or pretend to be anyone else when I was here. It was my home. My sanctuary where I could be whatever the hell I wanted.
Even if it was a horny drama queen who loved being watched.
Had that been what made Roman crazy?
He took photos for a living. Shouldn’t being watched seem natural if he wanted to do the watching? That’s kind of what photography always felt like to me, a voyeuristic fantasy of being able to stand back and watch in a socially acceptable way.
Was it the panties?
They’d thrown him at the beginning. The first time he’d seen all of us trying on the new stuff, he’d lost his mind. He’d tried to hide it, but the combination of masculinity and femininity had him second-guessing what he was getting himself into.
After a while, though, the way he’d looked at everyone seemed to have changed. The clothes hadn’t thrown him, and there had been no mistaking the passion and need in his eyes when he’d taken those pictures.
That night.
I hadn’t been able to bring myself to look at all of them. The first ones we’d taken were good, but as we’d fallen deeper down the rabbit hole, they’d been spectacular. From the glance that I’d forced myself to take, he hadn’t sent anything that would’ve raised eyebrows, but I wondered what had happened to the other pictures.
Growing up, I was always shown pictures of landscapes and old dead people and told it was art. The most interesting things I’d seen were some of the weird ones where people were more geometric than anything realistic. Naked meant porn, and that wasn’t art.
As I’d gotten older, I’d learned there were more subtle definitions of art and a lot more naked people in those old paintings than I’d been led to believe. But that night, I’d felt like what we’d created was more than dirty pictures…it was more than erotica…it was something else entirely.
Had it been art?
I wasn’t sure.
Had it been incredible?
Absolutely.
Finally turning on the car, I pulled out of the parking lot and started driving. I remembered telling Reece I had to go home for something, but I couldn’t remember why anymore. Had it been clothes? I glanced down to see that I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Boring for me, but fine. Nothing else seemed important enough to matter.
As I drove through the streets, slowly making my way over to Reece’s apartment, I tried to imagine how their conversation had gone and how they’d patched everything up. My brain wasn’t up to it, though, and it just circled back around to Roman.
My mind was starting to clear from the fog that had taken over by the time I arrived at Reece’s place, but not by much. Crazy things kept rolling around in my head, and I couldn't decide how I felt. Nothing made sense.
I didn’t even realize how emotional I was until I saw Reece open the door. His clearly well-fucked expression and the love shining from him were too much to bear. I wanted that. And for just a few minutes, I’d thought I’d found it.
Throwing myself at Reece, not bothering to hide the drama and emotion any longer, I cried out in sadness and confusion. “Preston fired Roman!”