Buzzing in my ear wakes me from sleep, my mind and body resenting being dragged from the blissful cocoon of unconsciousness.

I start to move and then freeze, the smooth feel of someone else beneath my fingertips.

Eloise.

I picture her before I open my eyes, her face and naked form materializing as I blink the night out of my eyes. She’s curled into me, her blond hair cascading behind her onto the pillow on the other side of my bed. Her hip lines up to mine, one leg thrown between my two, all creamy-white skin and ruby red lips. She breathes softly, her chest rising as she holds her palms flat to my chest, as if she’s being lulled to sleep by my heartbeat.

Damn, if it isn’t the most beautiful sight I’ve ever woken up to. She’s so naturally pretty, it almost hurts. My cock stiffens, nudging the leg she has wedged between my thighs.

Another vibration jolts me from cataloging every inch of her, and I grab my phone off the nightstand before it can wake her.

Eleven missed calls. All from Joelle. Shit.

I ease my way out of bed, careful not to wake her as I pull on my discarded boxers from the night before and grab my phone. It’s only eight a.m. on a Saturday, and therefore the entire house wouldn’t be waking for another three to five hours.

Walking into the bathroom at the opposite end of the hall from my bedroom, I unlock my phone and call Joelle back.

“Where the hell have you been?” she hisses as soon as the line connects.

I wince. “I’m sorry … I went out last night.”

“So you were out partying while your mother was busy slicing a triangle in her left thigh,” My cousin reprimands me from half a country away.

My stomach drops out, bile rising in my throat. “Fuck … what set her off?”

“Who knows, but I got to her house after a weird phone call to find her bleeding out on the kitchen floor. I had to take her to the emergency room, Colton. She’s getting worse. She needs a round-the-clock aide.”

I nodded, trying to process what she’d just said. “Is she okay? Is she home?”

Joelle sighs. “She’s okay, home and resting with the day nurse now. Colton, did you hear me? She needs more help.”

I pace the tile, my heart racing. “Fine, hire someone. You have the four grand I sent you last month.”

“And I spent the rest of it on the hospital bill last night. It goes quickly on her medication, the day nurses, the therapy—”

Fuck. Fucking fuck. I felt like a drowning man in the middle of a sea with no hope of savior. I had to fix this.

“I’ll get more, just … hire someone and stall the payments for a few days. I’ll get it, don’t worry.”

“Colton … you can’t keep doing this. I’m worried about you, and about her …”

“Joelle, just do it.” I didn’t want to have this argument again, not when my mind was scrambling for a solution.

She doesn’t say anything, and then the line goes dead a couple of seconds later, beeping signaling the end of the call.

Goddammit, this was more than I could put up with. I’d been busting my ass the last two years, since it got really bad, to come up with as much money as I could for treatments, doctors, aides and anything else my mom needed.

Of course Joelle was right, of course I couldn’t keep going like this. I was bound to run out of steam, and my mother was only digressing. She needed to be a ward of the state, live in a residential facility, have full-time care. But the woman was too proud, and I’d made a promise. And I also didn’t want to be the next athlete with a sob story on SportsCenter, instead of being featured for my talent and talent alone.

Bringing up a text message, I type out Mac’s name.

This was risky, because promising anything meant I had to deliver on it. And that Mac would be in control of my life, for however long it took to fulfill this deal.

I slammed the phone down on the bathroom counter, gripping it as I looked at myself in the mirror. I was a fucking idiot, I couldn’t do this. Not to my teammates. Not to our undefeated season.

But I had no other choice. I could name an amount, and he’d bet against our win for whatever game it was that I chose. This money could get her full-time care, it could keep the demons off my heels for a little while longer.

He takes a few minutes to respond, but when he does, I’m already thinking about how I’ll drive to the parking garage today to pull it from beneath the crack in the concrete on the third level.

My heart simultaneously sinks and floats, the relief both a blessing and a curse. We’ll stay above the shit for one more day, one more week, possibly another few months.

Thinking about crawling back into bed with Eloise right now turns my stomach. I’m a fraud, a cheater, a liar. In the worst possible way, I’m going to endanger everyone in my life. To the point that I should push her away, but last night …

I can’t do it now, no matter how much of a coward that makes me. I’ve tasted her, I’ve looked into her eyes while she unraveled, and I can’t give it up.

But my soul, it takes another black streak. With every dollar I take, every item I steal, my conscience gets a little dirtier.