Twenty-Five

 

Three hours later, after multiple discussions with the FBI, Homeland Security, and the NYPD, Parisa followed Jared into his apartment, and said with relief, "We're home."

"It's starting to feel like home. I just don't know how safe it is for you," he said.

She flopped down on the couch. "We were never attacked here. And I think the reason for shutting me up no longer exists."

"Only if that was the reason."

"Good point."

Jared grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge and brought her one, sitting next to her.

She took a long swig of water, loving the cool slide of liquid against her parched throat.

"How are you feeling about everything?" he asked, downing his bottle of water in three big gulps.

"I'm relieved but also sad and angry."

"Sounds about right." He put his hand on her leg and gave it a squeeze.

"I'm happy that Jasmine is all right and that the Kumars are the wonderful people I always thought they were, including Anika. She was not having an affair with Westley. They were just plotting out the ransom drop when we saw them. I don't know if I told you that. But the Langdons…" She let out a sigh. "They're another matter."

"Neil said it started as a study group, huh?"

"Yes, but as the students got older, as more people came into the group with radical ideas, like Isaac, everything changed. The extremists took over. They became terrorists. I can understand how that happened. But the fact that Neil knew what was occurring, and he did nothing to stop it, is another matter. There had to have been moments early on, where if he had made a different choice, he could have prevented what was about to come."

"He was scared. They threatened his family."

"Still… There's a point where you have to step up, where you have to do what's right. Even a few days ago, he had a chance to get Ben to cooperate with the bureau, and he didn't take it. In fact, he did everything he could to block Ben from talking. He knew about the café in Queens. He even went there looking for Isaac. That silence could have cost Jasmine her life."

"If it wasn't for our brilliant skills of detection."

She smiled at his light words. "There's that confidence again."

"Hey, I was including you in that. You were amazing today. You shot Isaac, which prevented him from killing Anika and Jasmine. And you found Neil and alerted the FBI to get the campus evacuated before anyone could get caught in what was about to happen."

"I might have shot Isaac, but you got to Jasmine and Anika before I did. You put your body in front of theirs. Don't think I didn't see that."

He shrugged. "Instinct. You would have done the same. We make a good team."

"We do. We don't even have to talk; we're completely in sync." She paused. "I don't know if you heard, but the café has been a meeting place for Brothers of the Earth whenever they're in New York. They're rounding up a lot more people who could have been potential recruits."

"That's good to hear."

"So, you didn't know?" She gave him a speculative look. "Did the CIA come and shut you up?" She and Jared had been interviewed both together and separately, but there had been a good hour or two when she hadn't seen him.

"They did, actually. I didn't see who came to the bureau, but after making my initial statements, I was left alone in a conference room for about two hours. Then I was told you were done and ready to go. I'm sure you have more information than I do."

"Well, I think you know most of it."

"Tell me about the Raven," he said curiously. "When Isaac said the Raven was going to fly, how did you know it was Neil and it would happen at the college?"

"I knew it was Neil because he made up the story about the raven when I was in school in Bezikstan. It was one of his favorite tales. It's a fable, a metaphor for the struggle of good against evil. A huge hawk comes down and disturbs a nest of ravens and the mother is either killed or disappears. The baby ravens live on the ledge outside of a school classroom. For days on end, the kids give the ravens enough food for them to live, but it's up to them to decide when to fly away. During that time, it's storming, it's dark; the world is a sad place. One day, the bell in the courtyard peals out twelve rings, and on the twelfth note, one of the ravens decides to risk it all and fly. He finally finds his courage. The storms end. The sky opens up to sunshine, and his fellow ravens follow him into flight."

"So, it's basically a story about finding courage."

"And being who you are. A bird is supposed to fly. It has to find its wings." She paused. "It's also about fighting evil. The ravens couldn't cower on the ledge forever. They had to be brave enough to take on whatever big birds might be in their way."

Jared gave her a thoughtful look. "In this instance, the big bird stands for the government of Bezikstan, and the raven stands for the oppressed rebels."

"Yes. It's funny how a childish tale could take on such a different meaning."

"People read into stories what they want, what they need to hear. They put their own personal experience on it, and then it becomes theirs."

"That's true. I can't imagine what Neil must have been thinking when he was forced to put on that vest, when he was told that like the raven he created, he had to fly. He knew he was going to die. But he did it to protect Elizabeth."

"Maybe it was also to protect himself," Jared suggested with a cynical note in his voice. "Who knows how involved Neil was in anything? We'll find out in the days to come, because people will talk. Sara is already talking. Perhaps he would have rather died in a somewhat heroic fashion than go to jail, be painted a terrorist, have to live with that on his name, on his family."

"That's a good point. But I'd rather think it was about protecting his family. That probably makes me a fool."

"It makes you a person who wants to see good in someone who saved her life."

"He did do that. No matter what else he did. And I'm glad that Elizabeth is physically all right, although I'm sure Neil's death and Ben's imprisonment will be very hard on her. But moving on…I wanted to talk to you about Isaac. We haven't discussed what happened in the apartment yet."

"We caught a terrorist; that's what happened."

"Were you thinking about killing him?"

Jared's green eyes darkened as his gaze met hers. "Yes, I was."

She appreciated his honesty. "Do you wish I hadn't shown up when I did? Would it have made it easier to kill him if I hadn't been there? No one would have known. You could have claimed he went for his gun."

"I'd already decided to let him live. I couldn't kill someone who has the kind of information he has."

"Even when it would have meant justice for April?"

"That's not what she would have wanted—as you mentioned back in the apartment," he said, a smile curving his lips.

"I feel like I could have been friends with April."

"You would have had a lot in common," he agreed.

"What do you think is going to happen to you, Jared? I'm surprised no one from your agency spoke to you if they were at the FBI office while you were there."

"I'm not surprised by anything that happens."

"They can't fire you for saving people's lives."

"They can do what they want. It still infuriates me that we didn't bring Isaac in after Paris, after what he did."

"They thought he'd be more valuable spying on the group."

"But he wasn't spying for us. He was playing both sides. April figured that out. That's what she wanted to tell me and why she was killed."

She nodded. "Well, he's not going to hurt anyone else ever again. I know it won't bring April back, but you did get her killer. That’s something."

"And you got Jasmine back to her family. So, you can stop feeling guilty about not saving her the night they took her."

"Let's both stop feeling guilty."

"Deal."

"Now we just have to figure out how to get you back in the good graces of the CIA."

"That one is on me, Parisa."

"What would you do if you couldn't return to the agency?"

"I have no idea. Maybe spend a lot of time riding Barnabas."

"I'm sure he'd like that, but I suspect you'd be bored in under a week."

"Maybe," he conceded. "What about you? Will you return to San Francisco now?"

"My last assignment is done. I was undercover at a tech company, using my language skills to ferret out conspirators in an industrial espionage case. I was able to assist in acquiring enough evidence to bring charges, so that case will move on to the courts. I've been offered a permanent position there, if I want to continue doing what I was doing, which was interesting, but I was getting a little burned out on trying to fake more technical skills than I actually possess."

"What else would you do?"

"There's a job in Los Angeles—also corporate crime—but my friend Bree is there, which would be fun."

"She's one of the Quantico group?"

"Yes. But I'm not sure if that's where I want to be. I also have an offer for an assignment in London. I was supposed to decide on one of those offers by Friday. I was going to spend the week here—shopping, seeing some musicals, hanging out with Damon and Sophie, and figuring out what I wanted to do next—but I got a little distracted."

"That's an understatement. It sounds like you have a lot to think about."

She didn't like the suddenly distant note in his voice. "You're on the list, Jared." She put her hand over his, as she gazed into his mesmerizing eyes. "Last night seems like a long time ago, but I haven't forgotten a single minute of it." She licked her lips. "To be honest, I'm a little overwhelmed by how strongly I feel about you. I could almost call it…love."

"I could, too," he said with a serious smile. "In fact, I would call it love. It's fast, it's reckless, it's fun—it's everything. I've fallen for you, Parisa."

Her heart swelled with his words. "I feel the same way, Jared. We haven't even known each other a week, but I know you almost as well as I know myself. We're connected in so many ways, at so many levels." She paused, wanting to find the right words. "I don't know how to let you go. And I don't want to let you go. But I also can't imagine how we can make this work."

He framed her face with his hands. "All that matters right now is that you want to make it work."

"I do. I really do."

"Good. I feel the same way, so let's start there. And we'll see where we end up." He brushed some dirt from her face with a gentle hand. "When that bomb went off, I was terrified, Parisa. I thought I was going to lose you."

"I'm sorry I put you through that. You lost your mom to a terrorist attack, and April the same way. You must have felt like it was happening again."

"Those other sad situations were on my mind. Thankfully, today was different."

She leaned forward and kissed him, wanting to not just tell him how she felt but also show him. And just like the night before, the sparks went off with one taste, one touch, creating a fever of desire, lit even hotter by the knowledge that they'd almost lost each other.

"Let's take this into the bedroom," Jared said, dragging his mouth away from hers.

"It's so far," she protested, grabbing his shoulders so she could kiss him again.

"We'll make it," he told her, pulling her to her feet.

They hadn't taken one step when a buzzer went off.

She jerked. "What was that?"

"That's the doorbell," he said blankly. "I think—I've never actually heard it."

He picked his gun up from the table where he'd set it and moved over to the intercom. She grabbed her gun, too, acting on instinct, even though it seemed unlikely someone would ring the bell before coming to attack them.

"Yes," Jared said shortly.

"This is Hank at the front desk. You have a visitor. She says her name is Daphne Hill."

Jared sucked in a quick breath. "All right. Send her up."

"Who is Daphne Hill?" she asked, as Jared put his gun back on the counter. "And what does she want?"

"She's my boss. And I have a feeling she wants to fire me."

"Oh." She saw the tension run through his eyes. "I should leave."

"No, I don't want you to go. I'll just worry about you. And I'm sure she knows you're here."

"How did she know you were here? I thought this place was secret."

"I told Gary where I was. He wanted to come over and talk to me later tonight. He must have told Daphne. I'm sure it was under great duress."

A sharp knock came at the door. As Jared went to answer it, she set her gun down, then moved over to stand by the kitchen table.

She didn't know what she'd been expecting, but Daphne Hill was a stunning, tall blonde, who appeared to be in her early forties. She had on a wine-colored knit dress under her black coat, which matched her black, high-heeled boots.

"Jared, you've been a busy boy," Daphne said, as she swept into the room, her assessing gaze immediately falling on Parisa. "Introduce me."

"Parisa Maxwell—Daphne Hill."

"It's nice to meet you, Agent Maxwell," Daphne said.

Parisa shook her hand, not surprised that Daphne's skin was as cool as she was. "You, too," she murmured. "I guess you know who I am."

"Yes, I've spent the last hour with Special Agent Damon Wolfe. I'm up to speed," she said crisply, removing her coat and taking a seat at the table.

"I'll leave you two alone," Parisa offered.

"It's fine," Daphne said with a wave of her hand. "From what I hear you and Jared are thick as thieves. Please sit down."

She took a seat at the far end of the table, leaving Jared to sit next to Daphne.

"You were supposed to report to Langley this morning," Daphne said to Jared.

"If you're up to speed, you know why I didn't make it."

"Yes. You carried on a mission that you were specifically ordered to stay out of. You made numerous bad decisions—breaking into a consulate, following an FBI agent to a safe house, interfering in a hostage negotiation, and the list goes on."

"You left out the part where he located Isaac Naru," Parisa interjected. She knew it wasn't her business, but she didn't care. "He also saved my life more than once. That might not matter to you, but I personally think he's a hero."

Daphne gave her a cool smile. "I wish I could say you were alone, but you're not."

"What does that mean?" Jared asked. "Why don't you cut to the chase? Am I fired?"

"No. You're probably going to get an award. Quite a few people think you're a hero despite the fact that you disobeyed my orders. However, you'll be reassigned to another division."

"What division is that?"

"I don't know where they'll put you. But you won't be in my chain of command, thank God. You need to report to Langley next Monday at nine a.m. The agency is giving you a few days off to tie up loose ends here."

"What about Naru?" Jared asked.

"He made it through surgery. We haven't had a chance to talk to him yet."

"Will the agency continue to protect him?"

"No. He will pay for everything he's done—including what he did to April."

For the first time, Parisa saw a hint of emotion in Daphne's eyes.

"It wasn't up to me, you know," Daphne said. "The order to leave Naru alone came from above my pay grade."

"I understand."

"And you weren't the only one who mourned April's passing, Jared. I cared about her, too." Daphne cleared her throat. "At any rate, thanks to your work, there are raids going on all over the world tonight: Paris, London, and Bezikstan. We're working with the FBI and Homeland Security and our allies in Europe and the Middle East to take down the Brothers of the Earth. Sara Pillai has been extremely helpful. She has given names and locations."

"What's going to happen to her?" Parisa enquired.

"I have no idea. I'm sure your bureau will have a say in that." Daphne pushed back her chair and stood up. "That's all I have."

"You could have said that on the phone," Jared pointed out, as he rose.

"Well, I was already in the city," she said, as she put on her coat. "And I wanted to give you a chance to thank me in person."

"For saving my job?" he queried.

"And for training you to be the incredible agent that you are. You're one of the best, Jared, and I don't say that lightly. But if I can give you some advice…"

"I'm sure I can't stop you."

"You need to decide if you can continue to put the mission before everyone else, including the people you care about. You need to figure out if the life of a spy is the life you want to lead. I know you disagreed with the agency's decision to protect their asset, but there was a bigger picture, even if you couldn't see it. There's a point where every agent has to choose between staying in the field and being whoever they're needed to be and coming home and finding themselves again. You operate on emotion, Jared. It makes you good, but it also can tear you apart. You're lucky you found someone to pay for April's death. That doesn't always happen. Sometimes you're going to lose. If you make your whole life this job, then what will you have when you lose?" Daphne let that sink in and then turned to Parisa. "It was nice meeting you, Agent Maxwell. Perhaps our paths will cross again one day."

She nodded, letting Jared usher Daphne to the door.

After Daphne left, he turned the dead bolt and walked back to her.

"So that was your boss," she said.

"Yes, for the past seven years."

"She likes you, even though she doesn't really want to."

"She has taught me a lot over the years, but we've also clashed, especially in recent months. Daphne is a rule follower, and I like to improvise. We've been on different sides on more than one occasion. She respects me, but I make her job harder. I'm sure that's why she decided to hand me off."

"Where do you think they'll assign you?"

"I don't know."

"What she said—about agents deciding when it's time to hang it up in the field and come home and be themselves—I've thought about that in regard to myself."

"What conclusion did you come to?"

"I never came up with one. I guess I'll know when it's time. What about you?"

"I have to admit her words resonated with me. The last several years have been one assignment after another. I was always on a chase, living under a different identity, using all my spy craft to get the job done, and I felt good about it. I was on a roller coaster, and while sometimes my head spun a little, I didn't see a reason to get off—until now."

"Because of April?"

"No. Because of you. When we went riding yesterday, I could suddenly see another life for myself, one that you were in."

His words made her chest tighten. "Since we met, I've had a few thoughts about that kind of life myself."

"In between stuffing our faces with tacos, making mountainous ice cream sundaes, and telling our truths over poker, I discovered a woman who makes my toes curl."

She laughed. "Good. Because I was afraid you were leaving out last night's sexy fun."

"Oh, no, that could never be left out." He put his arms around her. "I don't know where we're going, Parisa, I just know I want us to find a way to be together." His gaze grew more serious. "You told me you don't have a home anywhere in the world, no place where you feel safe, where you feel like yourself. How about right here? And I'm not talking about this apartment—I'm talking about my arms around you. I'd like to be your home, Parisa."

She drew in a shaky breath, her heart turning over with his tender, loving words. "Being with you does feel like home, Jared. I've never been able to speak to anyone the way you and I talk. Even with all our secrets, there is more truth between us than I've ever felt in my life. I want to be your home, too. But I'm a little afraid. We both live dangerous lives. We could say good-bye and never come back. You've lost two people you cared about to violence. Are you sure you don't want to find a nice preschool teacher, or a veterinarian, someone who doesn't do what I do?"

"My mom was an ordinary woman doing an ordinary job when she died. No one knows how long they have. You just have to live the day you're in. And frankly, having a minute with you is worth more to me than a lifetime with someone else."

"That's an amazing thing to say." Her eyes filled with moisture. "I feel the same way. This day is turning out to be really good."

"I know how to make it even better."

"Show me."

He lowered his head and gave her a hungry, needy, passionate kiss, and she kissed him back in exactly the same way. They really were the perfect match.

 

* * *

 

After making love, sharing a midnight Chinese food feast, making love again, and then falling asleep in each other's arms, Parisa woke up in Jared's bed Tuesday morning, feeling like she was exactly where she wanted to be. Especially when she saw Jared lying next to her.

She turned on to her side, and just let herself look at him. His features were more relaxed in sleep. In fact, there was a hint of a smile on his lips. Maybe he was thinking about her—about the night they'd shared.

It was strange how comfortable she felt with him. She'd always been fine on her own—independent, strong, happy in her own company—but this felt so much better. She and Jared were connected. They were in love. They were each other's safe harbor—each other's home.

And she'd needed home more than she'd realized. She'd always felt loved by her mother and her stepfather, but she'd also been on the outside of their intense love affair. Now, she understood their closeness, their desire to be with each other, because she was caught up in her own passionate love.

Jared was good for her and she was good for him. They brought out the best in each other, and they seemed to have a way of communicating that didn't require words.

Jared shifted and blinked open one eye, then the other. "Morning."

"Good morning," she said happily.

"You're watching me sleep?"

"Yes. I can't seem to get enough of you."

He gave her a lazy, sexy smile. "Right back at you." He rolled over on to his side and gave her a longer look. "What are you thinking about?"

"Taking a shower together."

"Good answer. But your expression is a bit more serious than that."

"Honestly?"

"Yes. No secrets between us."

"It's a little terrifying to think about how much I love you already. Facing bullets and bombs is difficult, but I'm trained in how to handle those situations. Love is a new one for me."

"For me, too."

"It will make us both vulnerable. It will influence our decisions. It could weaken us."

"Or make us stronger."

"You are definitely the more optimistic one in this relationship."

He brushed her hair away from her face. "I just know we're going to be good together."

"And you're the most confident."

"But you are the sexiest, the most beautiful, the most intelligent…" he said with a teasing smile. "Now, let's talk about that shower."

"I'm done talking. And the shower can wait."