I haven’t been to the Gallery Theater since I was eight, so it’s been eight years since the last time I came with my parents. Hallie has never been there in the five years since she moved to McMinnville with her mom and Houston, so I’m sure this visit will be more interesting than my last. Hallie and I get tickets for Oklahoma at 7:30 p.m., then we get in line behind a family of four to get inside the theater.

Hallie’s quiet as she stares at the family, then she turns to me and leans in conspiratorially. “What is it like to love someone for as long as you’ve loved Houston?”

I’m a bit taken aback by this question. It’s not the type of light banter that usually happens while standing in line at the theater. We reach the door and an usher takes our tickets, then leads us through the lobby and to our seats. The whole time, I sense Hallie anxiously awaiting my reply to her question. I don’t know what’s prompted her to ask me this, unless she has a crush that she hasn’t told me about. But Hallie and I share everything.

The usher leads us to a pair of seats three rows back from the main stage. Once he’s gone, Hallie turns to me with a smile on her face, awaiting my reply.

I shrug. “I don’t know. I guess it’s… crippling.”

Her smile disappears. “Really?”

I think about Houston and how much I’ve missed him since he left for college last year. And how every time I see him at Hallie’s house during holidays, my stomach cramps up and my thoughts get all jumbled. How I fall asleep most nights with thoughts of what it would be like to have those feelings reciprocated. And wake up with my heart broken when I realize the happiness I felt moments ago was just a dream.

“Really. It’s awful.”

Her shoulders slump as she lets out a soft sigh. “I want to be in love.”

“With someone in particular?”

“No, I just want to feel like there’s more than this, you know?”

I chuckle, feeling slightly confused. “No, I don’t. More than what?”

She raises her hands, palms up, to indicate the stage cloaked in a velvety red curtain in front of us. “This! This place where we have to pretend to be someone we’re not.” She turns to me with a glint of electricity in her blue eyes. “It’s not fair that you have to pretend you don’t love my brother because he’s nineteen and you’re sixteen.”

“Well, that’s not the only reason. I asked you to never tell him because I don’t want to get hurt. Then things would get awkward between you and me. Losing my best friend would be worse than never having Houston at all.”

She stares at me for a moment, then her mouth curls into that signature half smile she shares with Houston. “That’s completely corny.”

I roll my eyes and stare at the stage. “Whatever. I guess I’m corny, but I stand by what I said. Your friendship is more important to me than taking a chance with Houston.”

Her smile disappears and she sits back in her seat. “Friendship is more important.” She repeats these words and I get a weird feeling she’s not telling me something. “It’s the most important thing.”

“Without friendship, there’s no love,” I reply, though the phrase surprises even me.

Hallie nods in agreement. “No friendship, no love.” She sighs as she ponders this, then she turns to me. “I think you and Houston are gonna end up together.”

I try not to let her see how hearing these words come from her mouth makes me absurdly happy. “I doubt it. I’ll never have the courage to make that happen.”

“Maybe you won’t, but maybe someone else will.”

My eyes widen. “You wouldn’t!”

“No, not me. But you never know. Maybe one of these days Houston will finally get a clue and make it happen on his own.”

I let out an exasperated sigh. “It would be kind of hard for him to get a clue when he’s ninety miles away.”

“Yeah, but you’ll be going to UO in a couple of years. Maybe you can show up at a party he’s at and pretend to be drunk. Then he’ll carry you back to your dorm and—Ew. I don’t want to imagine that.”

I give her a playful shove. “Stop it.”

She laughs. “Yeah, you might not love him so much if you knew he used to sleep with my mom every time he got sick.”

“That’s adorable,” I say, feigning a dreamy smile.

She cocks one eyebrow. “The last time he did it he was thirteen.”

I imagine six-foot-four Houston lying in bed next to his petite momma. “Still adorable.”

“You’re sick.”

I laugh and we continue chatting until the seats fill up around us. When the curtains part, I hold my breath, as if I’m one of the actors on the stage waiting for my cue. Well, according to Hallie, I am an actor. I guess she’s right. I’ve gotten very good at pretending.

I pretend I don’t love Houston. I pretend I’m going to UO so I can study, when the only reason I’m going is to be near him. And worst of all, I pretend not to be afraid that I’ll never love anyone else.

After the show, Hallie and I walk home together arm-in-arm. It’s a bit chilly, but the sky is clear, so we don’t bother rushing home. We take our time, just breathing in the crisp autumn air and chatting about the play. We’re a block away from my house when I remember that Hallie never answered my question earlier.

“Hey, you never told me if you have a crush on someone. Is that why you were asking me about Houston?”

A small part of me is hoping she asked me about him because he mentioned me to her. But I know that’s next to impossible, so I make sure not to look too eager for her response. Still, the demure smile she’s wearing as she thinks about this question is making me nervous. I wish she would just hurry up and answer me.

“No. I don’t have a crush on anyone other than Justin Timberlake.”

“Justin Timberlake doesn’t count,” I reply, shaking my head both at Hallie and at myself for thinking that Hallie would keep the identity of her crush from me. “He’s an alien. It’s not possible for a human to be born that hot, with that much talent.”

We arrive in front of my two-story house on Evans Street and Hallie tucks her light-brown hair behind her ear as she stares at the upstairs windows. “Then I guess the answer is no. But that might change. We are juniors now.”

“Is that supposed to be some sort of achievement? I thought turning sixteen was only a big deal in Texas.”

“Everything’s a big deal in Texas. Especially Justin Timberlake.” She winks as she begins to walk away. “Call me later.”

She heads off in the direction of her house around the corner and I can’t help but wonder if Hallie is lying to me. She’s stretched the truth before, but only to spare my feelings. Maybe Houston did say something about me, something about how I’ll never have a chance with him.

My chest hurts just considering this. I stroll up the walkway toward the front steps and my dad opens the front door before I even reach the porch. “Hey, sweetheart. How was the show?”

I think about the amazing costumes and the energy of being that close to the performers. “It was great,” I reply, taking off my jacket as I adjust to the warmth of the living room.

My dad takes my coat and I sit on the sofa to reflect on how much I liked the play. Then I think of the conversation Hallie and I had before the show about the importance of friendship. And I find solace in knowing that it doesn’t matter if Houston asked Hallie about me, because what I said to her today is all that matters. I’d rather keep pretending not to love Houston than risk getting my heart broken and possibly losing her as a friend.

Because Hallie and I are more than friends. She’s the sister I never had and the only person I don’t have to pretend with.

No friendship, no love.