Chapter 16

ON SATURDAY Zachary arrived at the shelter a bit early. He was surprised to find that Joe wasn’t around but other volunteers had stepped up to keep the operation on the rails. One of them—Lamar something—told Zachary that Joe said he needed a little breather from everything. “He runs himself ragged here, so I’m glad he’s taking some me time,” Lamar observed, and Zachary agreed.

Vic let him into Joe’s office, and Zachary settled down to work on the donor records. He spent an hour updating information about the contributors and their donations and then printed a series of thank-you letters and organized them for Joe to add a personal, handwritten note and signature. He was alone, and suddenly curiosity overwhelmed him. The office door was open, but the computer screen faced away from the door, so no one would see what he looked up. He quickly ran a search on Thomas Scarborough.

“Holy crap,” Zachary whispered at the list of large cash contributions Thomas had made over the last two years. It had to be more than a million dollars.

“Zachary, hi,” he heard and looked up to find Thomas himself standing in the doorway. He knew his face had turned red as he worked the keyboard quickly to close down the computer program, and he prayed Thomas would write it off to surprise. They hadn’t been in the same room in weeks—not since that night in Thomas’s apartment—so his blush could easily be attributed to that rather than his snooping.

Or to the longing he still felt at the sight of Thomas’s face.

Zachary stood up. “Hey, Thomas. How have you been?” His voice was stiff and formal, and Thomas clearly heard the edge. Zachary felt a surge of remorse and guilt when he compared his reaction to Thomas to how he felt around Sam.

God, what is wrong with me?

“I’ve been good,” Thomas answered cautiously. “Busy, though. The Senate is taking a recess soon, so a lot of legislation is getting pushed before everyone leaves town.”

“Does that mean you get a break too?” Zachary asked as he tried to think of a polite way to escape Joe’s office and bring the encounter to an end.

“Not really, though my phone won’t ring as much with a daily crisis. Well, it looks like you were busy. I won’t keep you.” Zachary was relieved when Thomas turned and started to leave, but then he hesitated and looked back. “I miss running into you at Mata Hari,” Thomas said in a softer voice.

“Yeah, I just needed a break,” Zachary answered. He forced himself to look at Thomas directly. “I’ve started seeing someone.”

Pain immediately flashed through Thomas’s eyes. “Oh, that’s great. I hope it works out for you,” Thomas said, his voice a bit raw as he looked away from Zachary. “I’ll let you get back to it,” he muttered.

THOMAS STALKED down to the kitchen, intending to run an inventory on pantry supplies so he could restock what was running low. Visions of Italy splintered and broke apart in his mind’s eye, and his chest hurt. He hadn’t realized how much hope he’d poured into his dream of Zach on a terrace overlooking the sea… until the dream was gone.

Goddammit. It’s your own fucking fault.

But he wanted to yell anyway. At Charles. At his parents. At himself.

He slammed open the kitchen door and then became aware of the wide eyes on the tall, thin teen working at the kitchen counter. “Sorry, J,” he muttered and took a deep breath. “I’m just in a pissy mood. Ignore me.”

Jamayqua looked down at the vegetables she was chopping, but said nothing. Thomas stepped into the pantry and worked through the preprinted lists Joe used to determine what goods were needed. By the time he finished, he was back in control.

He returned to the kitchen and said calmly, “Jamayqua, I’m heading to the store soon. Is there anything special you want me to pick up, besides what’s on Joe’s checklist?”

She looked up under her bright-red bangs, barely met his eyes, and asked in her soft, deep voice, “Is everything okay with Joe?”

Thomas tried to look reassuring. “He’s fine, really. He’s just going through a bit of personal stuff, and he needed to recharge the batteries. He’ll be back soon. But in the meantime, you know if you need anything, you can ask me or Vic.”

Jamayqua nodded and kept chopping. Thomas started to go, but she called out, “Could you maybe pick up some cumin seed and coriander? I have some ideas for a couple of dinners, but we don’t have much in the way of spices.”

“Of course. I’m happy to do that. If you send me a list of spices you’d like in a text, I’ll pick them up this evening.”

“Thanks, Thomas,” she said, nearly in a whisper.

As he walked back to his car, Thomas thought about Jamayqua’s question. He pulled out his phone and dialed.

“Joe Mulholland,” he heard over the line, but the voice was unusually subdued.

“Hi, Joe. It’s Thomas. How are you?”

“I’ve been better, darling. We’ve decided Terry should stay elsewhere for a little while, until we see if we can work this through. He’s moved in with David James and his partner Brandon. I’m not sure whether you know them.”

“Oh, Joe. I’m so sorry,” Thomas murmured. “Would you like to have dinner with me tonight, to talk or not as you please? I’m running to the store for the shelter, but I’ll be wrapped up by eight.”

“You’re a dear man, but I don’t want you to feel you have to get in the middle of this,” Joe said. “Terry is your friend too.”

“I can listen without taking sides. I’m good at that. And honestly you’d be doing me a favor. I’m feeling down myself, so maybe we can cheer each other up.” It was a bit manipulative of him to hint that he needed Joe’s company, but it was also true. Alone he’d do nothing but think about Zachary moving on.

Joe chucked drily. “We’ll either perk each other up or drag ourselves down together. But I choose to take the offer at face value. Why don’t you pick me up when you finish the grocery run, and we’ll try that new Indian restaurant in Cleveland Park?”

“Great. I’d love some chicken tikka masala. I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”

By the time Thomas reached the wholesale market, Jamayqua texted him a variety of spices. There wasn’t room in the shelter’s food budget for those items, so he’d just pay for them separately. Jamayqua really had an interest in cooking, and he thought about some chefs he knew around town who might be willing to take her on, maybe give her some experience and direction.

And speaking of Jamayqua… he thought about the troubles she was encountering with the restrooms in her school. Someone needed to address the controversy that some political factions were drumming up over whether students could use only the bathroom of their birth gender. A few states handled the matter directly, but there were many cries for federal involvement from people on both sides of the issue. There was an opportunity there, Thomas thought. He needed to talk to his committee chairwoman about pursuing some research.

It felt good to focus on something positive instead of hating himself for his uselessness over Zachary.