When I walk up to her door, it's already open. There's a very tiny face peeking out from behind the door.

"Hi, Jacky," I say, kneeling down. He just looks at me with his gorgeous dark eyes and scampers away.

"Camilla," I call.

"Coming!" she says. When she steps into the hallway, she is putting an earring in her left ear. "I swear, I live in yoga pants and never put on makeup."

"You look gorgeous," I say. "And I don't believe you."

"You're good for my ego, you big liar," Camilla says, kissing my cheek. "Come on in and ignore the little tornado." Despite her words, she's intently looking at Jacky, not me. He's investigating a very large teddy bear that's bigger than him. He kicks the bear's stomach.

"No hitting!" she calls out. Jacky shoves a thumb in his mouth and belly flops on the bear's legs. Then he pulls his thumb out of his mouth and starts crawling around the room. I like watching the way that his tiny legs move as he crawls as fast as he can.

"He's not as confident as he'd like to be when walking. He's really more interested in crawling, since it's more reliable. He always looks very surprised when he falls on his butt." I can hear the exasperation in her voice, but I can also hear the pride and clear love that she has for her baby son. I choke back my own jealousy, because I should be happy for her. But I just wish that I had a fraction of what she did.

"So what are you doing this summer?" Camilla asks, pouring us both a champagne flute of sparkling apple cider. "The pizza should be here in about 30 minutes."

"Cool," I say. "I'm working."

"Yeah? Where?"

"I'm a nanny for Jeff, the guy next door."

"Your dad's business partner? The really hot one?"

I can feel my cheeks heat. "Maybe."

"Spill," Camilla says, draining her glass. "Oh Lord, what I wouldn't give for a solid piece of gossip. Most of my day is spent making sure the baby doesn't accidentally kill himself and the night is spent studying. Tell me about it."

"Um," I say, twirling the end of a braid around my finger. "So it's complicated."

"Cop out," she says. "Tell me more."

"He's had an incredibly hard time keeping a nanny for his kid. Danny has colic and cries a lot."

"I have a recipe for that. I was terrified of colic and have a recipe that the midwife gave me, but Jacky has been as healthy as a horse. He’s more likely to laugh than cry, so I haven’t tried it out. Do you want it?"

"Sure," I say. "I don't know if it'll help, but it won't hurt to try."

"Keep an eye on Jacky while I dig through my pregnancy materials," she says. "It might take a while."

I wait until she's gone and sink to the floor. I'm wearing a dress, which is not what you'd consider ideal for crawling around on the floor, but I made it work with Danny.

"Hey, Jacky." I crawl over to him. "What do you have there?"

It is some kind of clear cube with something springy inside. He's shoving a corner of it into his mouth.

"Is that tasty?" I ask, wondering if Camilla disinfects all of Jacky's toys or if the cleaning agents are worse than a little bit of dirt which will bolster their immune systems.

He drops it on the carpet and crawls quickly away from me, as if he's been spooked. I just watch as he picks up a pink rubber toy that squeaks. He rolls it with his hand and then overbalances, landing on his side. He scrunches up his face and prepares to cry. I don't think he's hurt. He's just surprised.

"Hey, little one." I stroke his back. "You're okay." I then shout, "Camilla."

"Coming," she says. When she walks into the room, she's carrying a big clear box with folders in it. Camilla has little tabs with labels all over them. "I'm still trying to find the right thing."

I say, "Jacky just sort of overbalanced and seemed like he was going to cry."

"It happens all the time," Camilla says. "He thinks his body is bigger and more stable than it is, so he's perpetually surprised," she explains. "Don't worry," she continues.

With his mother back in the room, Jacky wanders over to a floppy stuffed dog as if the near-tears never happened. He purses his lips as he tries to get the dog to stand on its four legs, even though the dog doesn't have enough stiffness to make that happen.

Camilla is kneeling on the ground, digging through the box. "Okay, recipes..." She pulls out a sheaf of recipes and begins to leaf through them. "Aha! Gotcha!" she exclaims. 

"Great job," I say, holding out a hand for the recipe. She walks over to me. 

"Fennel? Seriously?"

"Don't knock it until you've tried it." Camilla smooths back a little hair that escaped from her headband. "There are mothers who would sell their souls to cure their babies' colic. The midwife had dealt with a lot of mothers, and she said that this was the best remedy. It won't hurt the baby."

"Cool," I say, tucking the recipe into my purse. 

Jacky is now in the process of trying to stand up. He's doing downward dog, trying to push against the floor, but he doesn't seem to know how to get upright.

"How are you and Lincoln doing?" I ask Camilla. I drink more of the sparkling apple cider.

"I am so in love," Camilla sighs. "Yesterday, he brought home a bouquet of roses."

"Did I forget your birthday?"

"Nope," she says.

"Anniversary?"

"No," she replies, laughing a little. "He bought me roses just because he was thinking of me."

"Really sweet," I say.

"You wouldn't think so, because he's so...masculine, but he's really tender sometimes."

"Girl, you're verging on TMI territory." I cover my eyes. "Tell me about Jacky."

"Boy is growing like a weed," Camilla complains. "I barely buy clothes that fit him today before he's grown out of them. At this point, I'm going to have to buy clothes that are 3 sizes too big just to catch up."

I raise my eyebrows. "Lincoln is pretty tall," I say.

"Yup," Camilla agrees, nodding a little. "And Jacky just might get there."

Jacky has given up on standing and has settled back into crawling. He goes under the table legs and finds an abandoned Cheerio.

"No!" Camilla says. "Dirty!"

Jacky immediately puts it in his mouth, crunches it, and swallows. Camilla is appalled, but I'm hiding a smile behind my hand.

"He's a handful," I say.

"Believe me, you're seeing him on his best behavior," Camilla says. But there's a secret smile lurking around the corners of her mouth. She pours herself more cider and sips on it.

"How are classes going?" I ask.

"Not bad," she says. "I'm not going to graduate in four years, but I'm totally fine with that. I’m 22, so I have plenty of time. I just want to make sure that I get some kind of degree. We do have a part-time nanny sometimes during the school year, just in case Lincoln doesn't make it home in time to grab the baby when I'm going to class and to make sure that I have time to work on homework, but otherwise we've been taking care of Jacky all on our own."

"Aren't you exhausted? Babies don't sleep through the night."

"Lincoln takes care of night feedings," Camilla confesses.

"Damn, girl!" I whistle. "Must be nice."

"It is. He is," she says. 

"You picked the right man," I say. "I don't know how many men who would do that."

"He's special," Camilla says. "But enough about me. Tell me about your job."

"I'm taking care of Danny, like I said. And it's been pretty good. I mean, the commute is pretty fast."

"He lives next door to you," Camilla says. "So of course."

"Right, so, I try to keep Danny quiet during conference calls and stuff, but he's a big crier."

"The recipe should help," she says. "And if it doesn't, there might be more tricks in my bag. You poor thing, you didn't even go through parenting class."

"I haven't," I say, a little dazed. Of course she had more information than I do. I've been flying blind. I make a mental note to talk to Jeff about any parenting materials he has tucked away.

Camilla's phone rings. "Hello?" She waits for a minute. "Yeah." Another pause. "Sure, honey. I'll make sure to set the table for a few more." She waits again. "Bye."

She puts the phone down. "My husband is going to bring 2 people home for dinner."

"That's cool. I should go..."

"No, you can stay. I would love to gossip. I'm just going to make broccoli quiche so that I don't have to do much."

"Cool," I say. And I go and lean against the kitchen counter as Camilla buzzes around the kitchen.

"Why don't you guys have a housekeeper?"

Camilla tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "Well, Lincoln used to have one."

"And?"

"And she didn't approve of our relationship."

"I'm sure you could afford to get another one." "We could, but that's not the point. We will eventually, but right now I'm home during the day and I love to cook."

I raise my eyebrows at Camilla.

"I've been learning. Lincoln eats all of my experiments, sometimes more cheerfully than others."

I smile. "That's the Camilla I know and love."

She snorts while she whisks some eggs. "It's been good. And Jacky is my whole world now."

"Don't you wish you were just hanging out in your dorm, though?"

"Kelly is married, too," she says. "And it's not like I am staring back at what used to be. It's not what I need to build a future with Lincoln and Jacky." She sighs. "And also I'm pregnant again."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah." She giggles to herself as she opens the fridge to take out cheese. "I know that it's kind of surprising, but I am pregnant again."

"Is it a girl?"

"We don't know yet. We won't learn until the five-month checkup."

"Tell me."

Camilla turns around to raise a single eyebrow at me. "What, so you can knit a baby blanket?"

"So I can tell you what to name her, of course. I think Elia is a nice name."

She just shakes her head at me before shredding ham to go into the quiche. "Keep dreaming."

I smile, even though she can't see me. "I will, thanks."

Jacky interrupts the conversation by pulling a small table over. He starts crying, not because he's hurt, but because he's more startled by the clatter of a lamp hitting the ground than we are. It's a metal lamp that has an enclosure for the bulb, which is fortunate.

Camilla throws the quiche into the oven before going back into the living room and scooping Jacky up. "What did you do, little troublemaker?" 

Jacky points and cries harder.

"Nothing is broken," Camilla coos at him soothingly. "You're okay."

He nestles into her shoulder. I pick up the lamp and table and put them back where they were.

"I swear, I feel like we should bolt everything to the wall." "Maybe you should," I say. I look at the time on the microwave. "I should go home."

"You can stay for dinner," Camilla protests. "You've barely just gotten here."

"Another time," I tell her. I kiss Jacky on his head and half-hug Camilla before walking out and going home.

When I get home, my dad is on the treadmill. He is listening to some kind of audiobook on Stoicism. I don't disturb him and go straight upstairs.

I shed my clothing like a snake shedding skin. I am naked on my bed now, alone. What a day. I have to get the ingredients for the anti-colic recipe tomorrow after I leave Jeff's house. I take one of my pillows and hug it to my chest. I'm full of stupid little girl dreams about a blue-eyed prince who'll just take me away. But I don't live in a Disney movie.