Fifteen
“Fall, Erin. I’ll catch you,” Maddox said.
She pressed her cheek to his. “I’m scared.”
“You’re scared? I’m terrified.” He backed up, unbuttoned his shirt, and pointed at his heart. “You came here to cut it out, right?”
She looked down, a knife shook in her hand.
Erin’s dream gave her a headache in the morning. She overslept after her long night and woke to her watch pinging with a message from Jaris. She stared at the ceiling, unsure how she felt about last night. She grimaced, thinking about her behavior. The dress, the club, their appointment, her coming back the way she did…and yet, she couldn’t bring herself to regret it. Not really.
She licked her lips, remembering what it was like to kiss Maddox. Yeah, it was good, phenomenal really, but what did she expect? Those lips had lots of experience. Her ego smarted again. He’d told her some things she really wanted to believe, and even knowing he was telling the truth, she wasn’t convinced he thought she was that beautiful.
It was like she’d gotten a glimpse of his real face, behind the mask he wore. Just a flash of him. How did she feel about what she saw? She couldn’t trust him, and he didn’t trust her. His reasons for not trusting her were valid. He wasn’t just a handsome face with a lean, ripped body, he was smart and shrewd…and completely jaded.
She looked up at the box on top of her dresser. A portal to him lay inside. She imagined opening it, going through just as she was, bedhead and boxer shorts in all, and climbing into bed with him. How would that feel? Just to lay next to him and sleep for a while?
Her watch pinged again. She read the message from Jaris.
I’m sorry about last night, Erin. I shouldn’t have pushed you like I did, and I shouldn’t have gotten angry with you after. You’re too sweet for such a devious plan. But I like that about you. I can’t wait till you’ve ended it with Maddox and we can really be together. I have to go to work. Will I see you this evening?
She thought for a moment. What did she want to do? She was a simple girl. Maddox was wrong for her. Jaris fit her. Her walk of life. What she was used to. Common things, that’s what she wanted for her life.
I’d like to see you this evening. I need to keep my contact with Maddox to a minimum. Message me when you get off work. I’ll meet you. She sent it.
Then she noticed the bruises on her forearm. Bruises from Jaris’ hand. They were unmistakable fingers marks. She frowned. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. It was just a tense moment. She got up and dressed for the day, wondering what she should do until the evening.
Unconsciously, she took more time than usual fixing her hair. She frowned at her freckles, but she wouldn’t cover them up, so she just put a little stain on her lips and a touch of liner around her eyes. She looked at herself with a critical eye. Was she beautiful?
A loud thump startled her. She rushed from her room.
“Dad?”
“Erin…” his voice was weak.
She ran to his room. He’d fallen to the floor. She grabbed him and tried to lift him up, but he was dead weight. His skin was spongy and pale. What did she do? He was going to die right there in her arms.
“Dad, please,” she pleaded, sobbing. “Don’t leave me alone.”
His eyes rolled back in his head as he dropped unconscious.
“Dad!” she cried.
“Erin?” She jumped and turned around as a portal tore open behind her and Maddox came through. “What’s wrong? I felt…”
“Maddox! Help me! It’s my dad! He’s dying.”
He rushed to her dad, lifted him up, and laid him back on the bed. He spoke urgently into his watch. “I need you right now!” he spat out her address like he knew it as well as his own.
Before Erin could ask anything, another portal opened, and Tesla came through. She gulped and stepped back from the legendary savior of Regia. Tesla looked at her dad and sat down beside him, placing her hand on his chest.
Erin was beside herself. Maddox reached for her and held her. “It’s okay. Tesla will know what to do.” He smoothed her hair and rubbed her back. His touch was so comforting, but still, she cried. Maybe it was too late.
Erin blinked as red light slid from Tesla’s hands into her dad. Even through his skin, she could see the light moving through his body, along his veins. The next moment, he gasped and opened his eyes.
“Oh my goodness!” Nathan exclaimed. “I thought I’d bought it.”
Everyone laughed at the breaking tension.
“Hold still a moment,” Tesla instructed him. “I’m not finished with you.”
He gazed at her with wide eyes and nodded his head.
A ribbon of red light slithered from her palm and dove into his chest again. His eyes bugged, but he held still.
“Breathe,” Tesla instructed him.
He inhaled. As he exhaled, the light retracted. A small bulb like a water drop hung off the end of the light strand. Tesla rolled the bulb in between her thumb and forefinger then it disappeared in the air.
“Your full health will return in a few days. You had a parasite in your heart.”
“The heck you say,” he said.
Tesla gave him a direct look. “Probably contracted it the last time you drank human blood. It was contaminated.”
“Dad!” Erin chided.
“I would never!”
“Sir, there is no doubt,” Tesla said.
Her father’s cheeks colored. “All right, you got me.” He sat up and looked closely at Tesla. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’re here in my house, saving my life. How?”
“Oh, well, your daughter and my brother are—“
“Dating!” Erin almost shouted. “We’re just dating. Casually.” She pushed out of Maddox’s arms and came to her dad, taking his hand. “You’re going to be okay now, Dad. I can’t believe you drank human blood. You’re such a hypocrite.”
“I know, sorry sweetie. It was a long time ago. I was just so lonely for your mom. I’m sorry.”
She looked over her shoulder. Tesla and Maddox had left the room, giving them privacy.
“Why did you keep him a secret the way you did?” her father asked. “That’s quite a thing. Dating in the first family.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Dad…How do you feel?”
“Not bad. A little weak, but fine other than that. I’m hungry. Would you bring me something to eat?”
“Sure. I’m glad you’re hungry. Just give me a few minutes.”
She came out of her dad’s room. The house was empty. Through the front window, she saw Maddox waiting on the porch. She came outside. He reached for her, and she didn’t back away. She rested her head against his shoulder and sighed.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“Fine. Coming down off the adrenaline.” She thought she was okay, but the next second, she was sobbing hard. “Oh, gosh, I thought I was going to lose him. He was gone. I didn’t know what to do. I could do nothing.”
“It’s okay now. It’s okay.” His voice was as soothing as his hands on her back.
“Where’s Tesla?”
“I asked her to leave.”
“I didn’t get to thank her.”
“You can whenever you like.”
For a while they just stood there like that, holding on and quiet. When she felt steady, she pulled away.
“Thank you.”
He shrugged. “You scared me…the panic I felt from you.”
“Huh…our connection saved my dad’s life.”
He raised an eyebrow, his face hardening from the openness that had been there a moment ago. “So it’s not totally worthless then?”
“Not today,” her voice turned waspish in response to him.
“Is it just the stress of almost losing your dad that’s making you act like a bitch?”
“I don’t know! Maybe!” she half shouted.
After a moment, both of their angry expressions faltered, then they both laughed. He grabbed her around the waist and kissed her mouth.
“You’re a pain in the ass, Erin,” he smiled down at her.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“No, I’m not,” she smirked. “Now back off. I didn’t say you could kiss me.”
He narrowed his eyes and grinned at her. “I thought we were dating. I should be able to kiss you if we’re dating.”
“Oh, please,” she rolled her eyes. “Don’t even think about using that against me.”
“I wasn’t until you just told me not to. Now I’m plotting.”
She frowned and pulled back from him. This was too close. Too open. And they were outside. Someone might see her with him. She reminded herself of reality and shook her head. “Thank you for coming. My dad would have died. I cannot repay you.”
He searched her eyes and blinked a few times. “You’re ashamed to be with me.”
“You only just realized that?”
“I don’t get you.”
“What? What don’t you get?”
“You act like Jaris is so great but…” he grabbed her arm and held it up, his fingers framing the bruises Jaris put on her.
She jerked her arm away from him. “That was an accident.”
“Fine. I’m leaving.” He backed up, rubbing the heel of his hand over his heart. “Hatred is…you know, I get it…Shame, that hurts more for some reason.”
He turned and walked away. She frowned after him, feeling like she should say something, call him back, but she didn’t. It was the truth. Harsh and cold.
She went back inside and made a meal for her dad. He ate a ton and then wanted more. His humor returned along with his color. Even the gray in his hair had faded back some to its original red. He pushed her for details about her and Maddox. She refused to talk about it. It was so good to be with her dad, and he was like himself again.
She wanted to cry again. Inside she was. If Maddox hadn’t come, she’d be planning a funeral. She tried to shrug it off, but she couldn’t. He’d only done what anyone would do. It was Tesla who saved his life anyway. All he’d done was call her. But he responded…Her heart cried out, and he came. If the situation was reversed would she do the same? If she felt something strong from him, would she go to help? Probably not. And she had the nerve to say she was ashamed to be seen with him?
She pulled her watch up, thinking she should message him, but she didn’t know what to say. She left it.
At midday, a thump against the house startled her. She came outside, went around the side of the house, and almost collided into a ladder. “What are you doing?” she yelled at the two guys on the roof.
They looked down at her. “Fixing the roof, miss.”
“Fixing…what? I didn’t order this. I can’t pay for it.”
“It’s paid for already. It will be a little loud, but we won’t take long.”
Shocked she went back to the front porch and messaged Maddox.
Seriously? The roof?
I noticed the water damage on the ceiling in the living room. He wrote back.
So you just thought you’d have it fixed?
Is there a problem?
Are you trying to buy me?
With a roof? That’s funny.
That’s really expensive.
No, it’s not.
Money doesn’t fix everything, rich boy.
It fixes roofs.
She sighed and shook her head, feeling idiotic and annoyed and somewhat charmed.
Forgive me for earlier. I acted wrong.
She waited, he didn’t respond. She deserved that. She went back inside. Her father was up, looking confused.
“What is all that blasted noise?” he asked.
“It’s okay, Dad. Just some guys fixing the roof.”
“Oh. Well, that’s grand. I know the house has started falling down around us. I’ll start to fix it once I’m all better. I promise.”
She hugged him. “You were sick. Don’t feel guilty.”
“I do though. Especially now that I know I did it to myself. How are we paying for this?”
“Er…we’re not. Maddox took care of it. I didn’t ask him to,” she added quickly.
“Well, it’s not a typical trinket or flowers, but I guess if there’s water leaking on your girl, and you have the means to fix it, you do. I can see that.”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“Don’t make more of it than needs be. It’s probably nothing for him. Pocket change.”
“He gave me this, too.” She showed him her watch.
“Flashy. So are you going to tell me about how you two met?”
Her cheeks heated immediately. Oh sure, she thought. I went to kill him and we ended up naked in the rain instead. “Yeah, no. Not telling you.”
He chuckled. “I’ll get it out of you eventually.”
“No, you won’t.”
He took a deep breath and spread his arms wide. “I feel so much better. Not one hundred percent, but alive, you know.”
“I’m so relieved.”
Her watch pinged.
Her dad leaned over to see. “Who is it? Which one?” he teased.
She gave him a light shove away. He chortled and shuffled over to his recliner.
It was Jaris.
I’m almost finished with work for the day. Will you meet me for dinner?
All her conflict and confusion came back. What did she do? She held off answering and messaged Maddox instead.
Are you going out again tonight with Melina?
Yes. Are you planning on crashing in on me again?
No.
Good. I think I’ve reached my limit for now.
I’m going out with Jaris.
She frowned. He seemed angry. She tried to listen to his heart, and she had to acknowledge she wasn’t good at it. Maybe it wasn’t exactly anger. Frustration and sorrow.
Jaris messaged her again. Erin? You there?
“So? Making your plans for the evening?” her dad teased.
“Yeah. Unless you want me to stay here…you know what…I’m not going anywhere tonight. I’m going to stay right here with you. I’ll make your favorite for dinner, and we can play poker after.”
His smile warmed her heart. “Now you’re talking.”
She messaged Jaris and told him she needed to stay in.
She fussed in the kitchen over the meal, talking easily with her dad while she made it. He hadn’t been very talkative in a long time, and she’d missed him. He kept badgering her about Maddox. She told him about Jaris instead. They played three hands of poker. He won two, and she obliterated him in the last round with a royal flush. Then he started yawning.
“I’m going to bed, sweetheart. Thanks for staying with me. You know the night is still young enough. You could go out.”
“I don’t think so. I need a break. I feel like I’m the rope in a tug of war.”
“So choose a side.”
He kissed her on the head and shut his bedroom door behind him. She locked the house and turned the lights off. She wasn’t really tired, but sleeping seemed like a better idea than scrolling through the media to see what Maddox was doing. She stopped, her mouth falling open. Holy cow! That was totally what she was going to do, unconsciously even.
She shut herself in her room and tried to read a book. Her eyes darted to her watch from time to time. Finally, she caved and searched his name. Pictures of him and Melina rose to the top. Jealousy poked at her as she looked at Melina. What was going on with them? Was it just part of the act he said he had to go through right now? He hadn’t touched Melina in a way that burned Erin at all since that first day when he told her he was testing it. Hmm…
She closed her eyes and dropped into an uneasy sleep.
Erin woke with a jolt. She could feel Maddox near her. She slid out of bed and walked silently through the shadows into the living room. A figure walked past the window. She went invisible and approached the window to see out fully. He moved quickly, setting a single flower on the porch, a rock on the stem, then he left.
No way. Her mind tripped. She pinched her forearm hard so she knew she wasn’t dreaming. She watched him move through the darkened street and around a corner before she ventured outside. She didn’t want him to know she was there. This just couldn’t be the truth. Staying invisible, she followed him at distance. Maddox was the gift giver?
He walked slowly into the memorial gardens and sat down next to Selena’s stone. What was he doing? Erin didn’t dare get any closer, or he really would know she was there, invisible or not. He cut his hand with a small knife and bled onto the roots of the tree. Its leaves shivered, and gold moved along the cracks in the trunk and up through the branches. His shoulders slumped as he laid his uncut hand against the stone. In a second, he retracted his hand as quickly as if it burned him. She heard his heavy sigh then he touched the stone again and held it still.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
She moved away silently as he got up and walked out of the gardens. He headed toward the low end of town. She watched him stop at a shabby place and leave something. He turned quickly, his eyes scanning the darkness. She held still, invisible and behind the side of a building. He frowned and then moved away, on to somewhere else.
Erin swallowed, her throat constricting around a sob as she processed the truth. All this time…all these years, it had been him. The phantom she held onto for comfort. The shadow she loved…it was him all along. Her heart began to riot as tears ran down her cheeks. So much misunderstanding on her part. So much of himself he hid from everyone. She wanted to tear his mask off and burn it. She wanted to look at him and truly know who she was looking at.
Erin pushed off from her hiding place and ran home, the wind kissing her tears. She almost laughed aloud as she came back into her house and closed the door. She ran to her room and closed the door unable to contain herself. She did laugh then, covering her mouth with her hands. She cried and laughed and then cried again. Her heart jumped around. Surely she would burst open any second. Her watch pinged.
Erin? Are you awake?
Smiling, she decided not to answer. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. She changed out of her pajamas and fixed her hair before opening the box with the portal inside it. She hadn’t looked at it before. It shimmered black and purple as she picked it up. It felt funny, like holding onto a ghost, then it opened. It didn’t rush and pull like other portals. It was silent and it stood open, fixed on her wall next to her closet door. There was a section, like a shadow curtain. She pulled on it, and the portal closed. She touched it again, and it opened.
She checked herself in the mirror again, grabbed the rock off her dresser, and took it with her through the portal. She landed in his room. How long would it take him to come home? Her pulse jumped so fast. Her watch pinged again. He must be getting her excited, freaked out feelings.
Erin?
She still didn’t respond. A portal opened next to the one she’d just used. She set her rock down and turned invisible a second before he came through. He took off his hoodie, threw it on the bed, and ran his hands through hair. He looked at his watch and then turned around, his eyebrows raised.
“Erin?” he looked right through her, but his eyes fixed on the new open portal. “Are you here?”
She dropped her invisibility. “I didn’t think I’d be able to sneak up on you that easily. But then that’s something you don’t know about me. Stealth is my greatest strength despite the fact I’m only half elf.”
He looked stunned then his face closed to her again. “Why are you here?”
She moved forward and reached for his arm. She took his watch off and touched the medallion on his wrist. “You keep this hidden. I didn’t know…For the first time, I feel like maybe we aren’t a cosmic mistake.”
“Why?”
She turned and picked up the rock and showed him. “I saw you. All those years ago. I’ve kept this all this time. I never go to sleep without laying it on my chest for a few minutes first. There’s power inside it. Power you put there.”
He just gazed at her desperately. She set the rock down again. “I missed our appointment. I need to make up for that.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m happy you’re here, but that sounds…I don’t know how much I feel secure doing with you. You hurt me today.”
“You can have me if you want me.”
“Do you want me?”
Yes. She thought. For years. The real you.
“I want something real or nothing at all,” she used his words. “There’s something I want to do with you right now. Something I really want.”
“What?” he breathed,
She could feel she’d pushed him to the edge just with her words.
“I want you to trust me for just a minute. I know that’s asking a lot. I don’t deserve it, but I’m asking anyway. Will you try?”
He looked torn. “I’ll try.”
“Turn around.”
His eyebrows pulled down, but he turned his back to her. She reached around his waist and put her palms flat on his chest, resting her cheek against his shoulder blade. He tensed, and then sighed, relaxing. In a moment, he covered her hands with his.
“This feels nice,” he said quietly.
“I want more.”
“How much more?” his voice was wary.
“Trust. Just a little more trust.”
Her fingers went to the buttons on his shirt. She slowly began to undo them. He inhaled sharply, but he didn’t move away from her. She unbuttoned them all and slid his shirt off. He looked over his shoulder.
“Stay just like that,” she said.
He nodded and continued to glance at her sideways over his shoulder. She took a step back, pulled her shirt off, and unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor. She came back to him, pressing against his back and winding her arms around his waist again.
It took a minute for their breathing to ease back to a normal speed.
“What now, Erin? Is this all you want?”
“Yes. It’s enough. It’s good…Is there something you want?”
He closed his eyes and groaned. Then he pulled away from her. “I want everything. You’re killing me with wanting you, but I’m not going to touch you when you’re ashamed to be with me.”
He picked up his shirt off the floor and put it back on, avoiding looking at her. She left her bra on the floor, but she pulled her shirt back on quickly.
“So you learned something you like about me tonight. But it’s something I keep secret. I’m glad you’re here wanting things from me, but I hate it at the same time. I can’t go public with the anonymous stuff I do. To the world, I’m just a womanizer, maybe a murderer. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, but you do. You don’t want to be seen with me. You don’t want anyone to know you’re my mate because you’re embarrassed by me. Do you have any idea how that hurts, Erin?”
She opened her mouth, but he held up a finger to silence her.
“I get it. It’s my fault. I brought it on myself. I don’t blame you. I just…”
“I want you,” she said.
“Sure, in the dark. Just so no one knows, right? I can be your whore, is that it?”
She flinched and shook her head in protest, but he kept talking.
“I want to not care, but I do. I want to claim every inch of you over and over, but not if you’re going to lie about us afterward. There’s no trust in that. The idea of that being the reality between you and me breaks my heart. I want you to stand beside me in the light.”
She moved closer to him. He couldn’t trust her yet. “I hear you,” she whispered. “I understand. I didn’t have a plan when I came here. I just had to see you. I had to touch you. You made me so happy to learn that you did that for me all those years ago. I always held onto you, not knowing your identity, drawing strength and comfort from you and what you left for me.”
“You still don’t know what you want,” he accused.
“You’re right. But I promise I won’t hurt you on purpose anymore. I’ll stop trying to destroy you.”
“Thank you. That’s something.”
“Are you really with Melina?”
He smirked. “Does it matter that much?”
She could see he needed her confession. “Oh, it matters.”
“Jealous?”
She threw her head back. “Yes! Okay? I don’t want her touching you. I don’t want you touching her. Happy now?”
“Marginally. I’m not with Melina. She’s my best friend. We’ve been friends our whole lives. Our parents are close, have been since before either of us was born. She thinks standing in publicly as my girlfriend is a good way to protect me from whatever is happening right now. She’s my alibi for whatever. And even if something happens while we aren’t together, she’ll say we were.”
“Have you ever slept with her?”
“No. I’ve kissed her but that’s it…Did you spend the evening with Jaris? You didn’t burn me at all.”
“I stayed home with my dad. We played poker.”
It was the first time she saw Maddox smile, really smile. It was innocent. Beautiful. She moved to him again, reached around his neck, and kissed him. He was hesitant for a second, then he took her under and made her head spin.
“I want you with me, Erin,” he said quietly moving his mouth to her neck. “I want you to say it. Say you’re mine. I want you to stop seeing him. I want you to let me in. Show me who you are. I’ll take my mask off if you take yours off.”
She exhaled raggedly. She didn’t want to but she pulled back from him slowly. She had to be fair to him.
“Okay. I feel like I can really think about it now. Really consider us. Let’s spend the day together tomorrow.”
“Are you leaving then?”
“Um…I want to stay, but I think my brain is going to burn up if I do.”
“Mine’s already there.”
“I can’t commit right now, and I see you need that.”
He gazed at her mildly and put his hands in his pockets. “Goodnight then. I’m glad you opened the portal. Now I don’t have to worry about you running home in the dark…regardless of how stealthy you might be.”
“Goodnight.” She left and was back in her room in a second. She looked at the open portal and smiled. That thing was dangerous. Instant direct access. Hmm…could be fun.
It was really late now. She climbed into bed, trying to stop thinking about climbing into bed with Maddox. She thought about messaging him but then decided against it. She’d never get to sleep if she kept the communication open.
She closed her eyes and smiled. Maddox was the gift giver. Her mind couldn't merge the two. The shadow she’d loved all these years—now she knew his face, his voice, all of him. Her mind refused to mesh the two into one, but still, peace and happiness moved through her. She focused on her feelings and tried to send them to him.
Erin dreamed a lot. Her mind blurred with amalgams of Jaris and Maddox. She woke while it was still dark, not on a jolt, but the second she woke, she was fully awake. Instinct told her to be still and listen, there was a reason she was awake.
A faint thump sounded outside her window. Very faint. Her gut sent her a fast, stern warning. What did she do? She didn’t have a weapon. A shadow passed over the drapes. Her heart jolted. Were they going to try to get in? An eye peered at her through the tiny gap in the curtains. She gasped just as Maddox landed in her room, a sword in his hand.
She pointed at the window, her hand over her mouth. He was gone the next second through another portal. She ran to the window and looked out. Maddox was there, moving through the shadows, then she couldn’t see him anymore. She paced. Be safe. Be safe. Be safe. Her mind chanted over and over. The moment stretched out taut, every second an eternity. What if something happened to him? What if…What if…panic ran it's long moist fingers around her heart and tugged on her lungs.
Maddox landed back in her room. She crashed into him and held on as hard as she could, blowing out the breath she'd been holding. Erin pinched her eyes shut tight, relieved and terrified at the same time. Nothing had happened to him, and yet the fear she'd felt just a moment ago… The magnitude of that fear startled her.
“Did you see anything?”
“No. Nothing,” he said. “What happened?”
“I woke up…kinda weird you know, alert. There was someone outside, looking in my window. I saw their eye through the gap in the curtains. Then you came. Who do you think would do that? What for?”
“I really don’t like the thoughts I have to answer those questions…You might have picked up a stalker. Lots of people saw you at the club the other night. It might have been Jaris…”
She stiffened in his arms when he said that. He ignored her response.
“It might have been the person who’s trying to frame me.”
“Oh gosh.”
“Yeah. Your house is not protected. We need to fix that in the morning…do you want to come and stay the rest of the night with me?”
She did, but she shook her head. “What about my dad?”
“Right. I guess—”
“Will you stay here?” she asked.
“Okay. Should I crash on the couch?”
“If you want…you can stay in here with me.”
“Well, that’s an easy decision.” He smiled and kissed her lips quickly.
He set his sword down and stretched out on her bed. She grimaced, realizing how small her bed really was and he was taking up almost all of it.
“Where are you going to sleep?” his smile was cheeky.
She climbed up next to him and elbowed him in the ribs. “Scoot over.”
He shifted to his side and pulled her close. Tangled up, they made it work enough so at least she wasn’t going to fall off the edge. She looked into his eyes, his face next to hers.
“Here you are again,” she whispered.
“You keep sending me feelings I can’t ignore. You were in danger.”
“I never thought of myself as a damsel.”
He played with the ends of her hair. “I never thought of myself as a knight.”
They grinned at one another.
“Is your dad going to go nuts in the morning if he finds me here?” he asked.
“I doubt it. He’ll probably shake your hand and thump you on the back.”
“Interesting man.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah. He…”
When she hesitated, he squeezed her gently. “Let me in. It’s your turn.”
“I don’t want to talk about my parents. He’s a romantic, and he wants me in a relationship. I’ll leave it at that.”
“Stingy,” he complained.
She mulled it over for moment. “My parents were destined life mates. He was from Paradigm; she was from Kyhael. My mom’s family is still stuck in the old ways and don’t like the races mixing. I don’t have anything to do with them. They don’t want me anyway. I’m just a Halfling to them. My parents moved here before I was born because Anue is more diverse…Your mom has done so much to end racism in Regia, but of course, it will always exist… I was twelve when my mom died. All these years, I’ve seen the depth of that loss in my dad, but he swears one day with my mom was worth a lifetime of pain after.”
Maddox stared at her for a moment. “Thank you.” He closed his eyes and exhaled, relaxing against her.
With his eyes closed, she felt free to stare at him. He was gorgeous. She had always thought so, even back when she would have rather cut out her tongue than admit it. She leaned forward and brushed her lips along his brow and then down his jaw. He looked at her as she pulled back. There was a startling intensity behind his gaze and it looked like he was fighting it back.
“What?"
“You’re mine.” His whisper was so quiet as he closed his eyes again.
“We’ll see.”
“Stubborn…and occasionally stealthy. I’m learning you.”
She nestled down more and closed her eyes. It felt better than she imagined it would, and she dozed off.
Erin woke up alone in bed to the sounds of male voices taking from the other side of the house. She listened for a minute. Her dad sounded in good spirits talking to Maddox. He told him his favorite, cheesy, worn out joke. Erin rolled her eyes, but Maddox laughed. The sound caught her sideways. It was genuine and relaxed. She slid out of bed, stood in her bedroom doorway, and looked out at them.
The two men sat at the kitchen table together, drinking coffee and just chatting. Maddox glanced up as if he sensed her looking at him. Their eyes connected. He smiled and winked at her. She backed up and shut the door. She groaned as she looked in her mirror. That needed to be fixed ASAP. Heading to her shower, she reminded herself she was spending the day with Maddox. She needed to look hot, but not like she was trying to look hot.
The water splashed over her head and shoulders. She leaned her head against the shower wall and closed her eyes. The shower was the rain. The beginning. The first touch and every touch that followed. The memory enveloped her like steam, alighting on her skin. His hands were on her again, his eyes holding hers, impossible to look away. The light, such a beautiful light tying their hearts together. Her knees weakened, and she sank to the shower floor, wrapping her arms around herself. She knew he could feel this right now from her. Agony and ecstasy lived in the same breath as the water pelted her fevered skin, then inexplicably she went cold, even though the water was still warm.
The shower stopped being the rain and turned into tears. The tears of grief. Tears for Selena. The tears of her family. Erin wiped her tears, a salty overflow of the well of pain inside her. Her hands shook as she held them up in front of her face. Why were her hands so weak? Why was she unable to hold onto Selena when she'd loved her so much? Why was she powerless in the moments that turned the direction of everything?
She shook her head. She couldn’t go backward. But she could live in the past if she chose. She knew people who had. She could let herself root in one moment, one memory, and never leave it. Or she could forgive.
Forgive Maddox…or had she already?
What if she just embraced it? Accepted him? She was far from his first, but she would be his last. She thought about all the women before her, and it still angered and twisted her heart. She hated his memories, whatever they were…How could she ever measure up to all of those willing, beautiful, sexy partners? How could he ever be content with just her after all that?
She didn’t want to live with her worth and self-image always a doubt in her mind. She thought about Jaris and looked at the bruises on her arm. They were almost gone. She frowned and finished rinsing her hair. She’d said she was going to spend today with Maddox. That’s what she would do.
The time poked at her as she got ready for the day. She was taking too long, and she knew it, but she wasn’t leaving her room until she felt confident in the way she looked. She put her best jeans on again and a plain white top she dressed up with a long necklace. She finished her look with a fat belt that accentuated the flare of her hips. It was the best she could do with what she had.
Blowing out a breath, she finally came out of her room. Maddox and her dad were still sitting at the table, talking like no time had passed. He looked up at her, his eyes flashing, betraying desire. Yes! You like what you see.
She sat down at the table with them, hooked her finger through Maddox’s mug handle, and took a drink of the cold coffee. He raised one eyebrow at her and smirked, but he didn’t say anything.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” her father said. “You took your time getting ready, didn’t you?”
“Dad.”
He chuckled. “It gave me a chance to have a nice long chat with Maddox, and you look beautiful. Doesn’t she?” he prompted.
Maddox looked at her seriously. “She does.”
“Dad, you’re so weird…how are you feeling today?”
“Pretty good. So, Maddox tells me you two are planning to spend the day together. What are you going to do?”
She looked at him. “Uh, I don’t know.” She panicked. “We’re not going somewhere people are going to take our picture and ask us questions, right?”
“I thought we could go visit Tesla for a while if you want. Then we can go wherever you like. Or we can stay here. I don’t care. I need to run home for a few minutes and change.”
“I’ll go with you.” She stood up as he did.
He raised his eyebrows again, but he didn’t say anything to her. “Sir,” he held out his hand to her father. “The protection for your house we talked about will be ready this afternoon.”
Her dad shook his hand and nodded. “Thank you. Don’t be a stranger.”
“My presence, or lack of, is entirely up to Erin.”
Her dad gave her a hard look. “Be nice,” he ordered.
“Yes, sir.”
Maddox headed to her room, picked up his sword, and went through the open portal on the wall. She followed, landing in his room right beside him. He stared openly at her, his eyes turning more grey than green as they roamed slowly over her whole body.
“You look so hot, Erin. Are you trying to torture me?”
“A little, you know in a normal way. I’m not trying to hurt you. Do you want to kiss me?”
“Yeah, but I better not…I might not stop if I start.”
She smiled and headed out of his room. “I’ll wait for you to change then.” She closed the door behind her and bit down on her lips. Her lips really wanted his, but she also didn’t want to start something they weren’t going to finish.
Erin took the moment alone to look around the house. It was so nice. Not too big, not too small. All of it was livable space. No useless rooms for show. Nothing pretentious. The house was happy. It had the life of the people who lived there imbued into the walls and furniture. Maddox grew up loved. She was happy for that. Happy for him.
He came out and stood beside her as she looked at some family pictures on the wall. She was captivated by one in particular. He noticed her fixation on the picture.
“Tesla’s wedding,” he said.
“They were bound together by the Heart?”
“Yes, but even before that, they were soul mates. X is the only human to have ever been able to survive here. He’s really human in name only. One of a kind.”
“Like her.”
“Yeah. There’s no one like her,” Maddox said with affection.
She smiled at him sideways.
“What?”
“You love your sister.”
“Yeah, so? Her wedding started a new trend in Regia. But despite the desire to copy their ceremony, The Heart refuses to do it again. It doesn’t talk to just anyone.”
“Were you at the wedding?”
He pointed at another picture from the wedding, and she giggled. “Aww. You were a really chubby baby.”
“Yes, I was. Can we quit this now?”
“All right fine.” She faced him and scowled.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.
“Geez, you’re so…so…posh. Do you always have to dress like a model?”
“You don’t like my clothes?”
“Oh no, they’re very nice. Too nice. How much did your outfit cost?”
“I have no idea.”
“It’s just such a waste of money.”
He crossed his arms. “Class warfare? Is that really where we are, Erin? You took your time trying to look nice for me. I was trying to do the same for you, but if it pisses you off…”
He turned to head back to his room. She grabbed him by the arm. “I’m sorry. That was stupid of me. I just feel awkward next to you. Everything on you is worth a fortune, at least a fortune for me.” She spread her arms out. “This is the best I have.”
“You could wear a torn rag and still outshine every woman in Regia. No one is even going to look at me with you at my side.”
His watch pinged. He looked at it. “It’s Melina.”
He responded to her quickly and looked back at Erin. “I told her I’m unavailable to play today.”
“Did you really say that?”
He showed her the message he sent. She snorted.
“I noticed your sword last night. Can I see it? Will you tell me about it?”
“Sure. There’s not much to tell.”
She followed him back to his room. He took the sword off the wall and handed it to her. She slid it slowly from its scabbard and gripped the hilt in both hands.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” she said quietly.
“It was a gift from my parents. It’s kind of a family thing, to have a blade made from the obsidian of the mountain.”
She held it up and moved it from side to side. Maddox grabbed her wrist and took the sword out of her hands.
“What?”
“You have no swordplay experience.”
“You can tell?”
He nodded. “I don’t want you to accidentally cut off my head.”
“I wish I had fighting skills. I didn’t have a flashy education at the Academy, like you.”
“Sure they teach some stuff at Academy, but my real training was always at home. Or when I tagged along to work with my Dad.”
“That’s awesome. Will you tell me about it? What’s it like on the Obsidian Mountain?”
“I’ll tell you, but…” his expression morphed, his eyes sliding out of focus. “My dad is my hero. I wish I was more like him. It’s really something to watch him fight, and he’s the only mage in Regia, the only one in like a hundred years. He trained me in the Kata since I could walk. I thought one day I’d be able to be a mage, too. When I hit my adolescence, I realized that wasn’t a possibility for me.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve climbed up the ranks in the Kata, but I can’t even break through to the level of master. My dad says I hesitate, and I won’t get out of my own head when I fight.”
“Is that true?” she asked.
“I think I’ve never had anything to fight for. Training is all well and good, but I’ve never been in a real battle. I’ve never had to fight for my life or the lives of those I love. I don’t know what I’m made of. I can’t until I’ve been through the fire like that…no one who wasn’t a full blood vampire has ever become a mage anyway. I’m too mixed to achieve it, even if I was a master.”
He held his sword up and gazed at it. “It’s my power, inside this glass. I don’t know what that means. I don’t have any power, but when my parents made this sword for me, they put my blood inside it. Tesla’s swords are filled with lightning, my mother’s too. I don’t understand this patterned gold light, or what it means if anything.” He sheathed the sword and shook himself. “You want to go to Tesla’s now? She makes the best coffee anywhere. Particularly for half vampires like us.”
“I’m nervous, but I want to go.”
He framed her face and kissed her mouth. She sighed into him. When had this become natural? Their mouths were keeping company more and more.
“You’ve got nothing to be nervous about.”
He opened a portal, took her hand, and they went through together.