Lost in his own thoughts, Casir looked up as Hankura walked into the dining hall. He sank into a chair opposite Casir and stretched his long legs out under the table.
"Chelle isn't joining us?" Casir questioned and handed him a mug of hot jern from the mobile dispenser at his left. "What will it be?"
"Trelp's as good as anything, I guess," Hankura responded absently, and Casir pressed the button on the machine. "Chelle was pretty upset when she saw Jess, and she's exhausted."
"You're not a whole lot better." Casir looked at him perceptively and passed him a plate of what looked like a spinach egg casserole. "Jess? Some of the other women have been insensitive, but I never expected anything from Jess. I warned them all.”
"It wasn't her fault." Hankura began to pick at his food with a three-pronged fork and related the incident to him. “Jess looks so much like Kaara it's scary. That's what set her off---Kaara died in her arms.”
"Mother, I didn't know that," Casir murmured when he'd finished. "I was the one who told Jess to ask Chelle about the micro-discs. Jess is such a sweet little thing; I thought she might cheer Chelle up. It shook you, too---I can feel it."
"Yeah, a little."
"A lot," Casir admonished. "You can't fool me."
"Okay, a lot. Seeing Jess brought back bad memories for both of us---and we're just starting to feel in sync with things again." He took a sip of his jern and ate with a little more relish.
"I still wonder if maybe you should have stayed on Aledus a little longer to give yourselves more time to put this all into perspective."
Hankura shook his head negatively. "Not with Marn and Tira and the others fighting to survive here, waiting for the Federation to send them help." He took another bite of trelp. They treat us like undesirables there, anyway. I'm not meant to live there. I can't spend my life in pursuit of pleasure just like you told me before I left Velran. Nor can Chelle.
"So, how was your visit? Is your mother okay, now? "
She fully recovered from her breakdown. The Wholaskans de-programmed her on Velran. The breakdown was a delayed reaction to her childhood conditioning at the Aledan Psi Institute.
Does she remember trying to take over your mind?
"No," Hankura said quietly. She knows what she did, but she doesn't remember actually doing it.
"You're too damned stubborn for even a grade ten like her to take over your mind," Casir asserted with a wry grin.
Yes, but I blanked out nearly fifteen days after she tried. I went half-crazy---said terrible things to Chelle ... at one point I---I almost killed her.
Hankura still found that last very hard to face, and it had been five years since those moments of insanity after she had gently drawn him from the blackness.... but he also felt relieved to finally share the memory---the black rage that overwhelmed him when she told him his mother's psi attack had nearly killed them---his fingers closing around her throat and how she almost surrendered to death at his hands...
"Goddess!" Hankura jumped up from his seat and paced a couple steps and turned back to face Casir. "I almost killed her because of Mother.
"The last thing I remember after that was staring down at my hands. It was as though I were possessed---and I was, by Mother. She hated Chelle that much---before..."
"Mother of Life, man! You need a keeper. In seven years, you've found more trouble than any ten men I know." It must be about time for your luck to change.
We are hoping. Hankura smiled faintly. We are planning to go back to Oltarin once we help get the new Elran clinic started---and maybe have a child.
Are you ready for that? Casir raised a white brow.
"We loved Oltarin," Hankura pointed out. "The clan feuds were settled, and they need medical clinics there, too.”
“But, you and Chelle are going ahead with trying to have a child even before you leave?” he asked, concerned. “Hankura, there isn't even a Nurtury."
"Chelle will carry to term."
"Can she?"
"Of course, I did the surgery. She wouldn't let anyone else near her," Hankura explained calmly. It wasn't so sudden a decision. Our discharge was near, and we were planning to conceive and find someplace to settle and have the child---before. We decided to go ahead with our plans. Of course, there's not a drop of Sepex© on Zevus Mar so conception may take a while."
"You mean you're just going to take your chances on conceiving?" Casir looked at him incredulously. Well, that's a hell of a way to go about it, especially coming from you! It's almost barbaric.
"That's how they still do it on Earth. They've fallen behind the rest of us in a lot of ways, you know---and Chelle is a Terran." Isn't half the fun in the trying? Hankura chuckled good-naturedly.
"It depends. Failure could be even more trying," Casir pointed out.
"Yes. I realize that. I've only just had the implant out today. It takes a week or two for the effects to wear off without Sepex. Right now, we've just simply stopped preventing conception. I don't anticipate any problems. My implant was due to be changed, anyway. It's been ten years."
After a moment, Casir laughed. It's a good thing you've settled down from the old days. Otherwise, half my crew women would end up pregnant.
Are you kidding? Chelle offered to break Shara's nose for what she was thinking with yours truly in mind.
"You put up with that shit?" Casir knit his pale brow together.
Hankura grinned and took another bite of food. We are psi-mates, and I am probably even more possessive than she. How do you think I got into so much trouble on Aledus?
And you wouldn't have it any other way. Casir laughed. "That's really archaic. If you'd said anything like that back on Velran, I'd have thought you were touched in the head."
"You think I am not?" Hankura said brightly, then more soberly, "But, is it really so crazy, Casir?"
Casir shrugged noncommittally. "It's your life." A pause. “Have you thought about where you will settle on Oltarin?”
Hankura finished his food and nodded. "We thought we’d settle on just below the high plateau in the Cerulean Mountains about sixty klicks from Brandt McKell’s ranch. I have contacted him about the availability of property. That particular area has no settlements.”
“When do you think you'll start construction?"
"Depends on how soon we can afford have it built. We are going to use natural materials---stone and wood found on the property. We won’t have credits to start construction until our yarrel crop is sold from Aledus."
"Don’t you worry about that. As soon as our kids come out of the Nurtury and can travel, I will get a crew together and come to Oltarin and build it for you.
“Who's going to pay the costs? Certainly not you! You're talking at least three-quarters of a million credits."
"Hell, we've got a lot more than that. What'll you get from the yarrel?" Casir asked.
"One point four million---in seven months."
"So, then you'll pay me back. It’s going to take a while to get there, and you'd do the same for me," Casir told him assuredly. "Don't worry about the crew. With what you’ll save on materials, you’ll be able to afford it."
"You sure?"
"Am I?" Casir grinned. It's the least I can do. I certainly couldn't have saved Cran without you. Luran would have been crushed.
"And I know how unhappy people affect you," Hankura grinned his thanks.
"Especially my friends," Casir added meaningfully. We both remember a time when we thought we would never have any. Friends, that is. "I want to make sure you have a home to take that child to before Chelle delivers. And I know Jana and Delara want to see you again and meet Chelle."
“That would be great. The way you tramp around the Galaxy, it'll probably be ten years before I ever see you again."
"Knowing you, I'll wager you and Chelle will be headed out in five," Casir returned with a laugh.
"Could be," Hankura shrugged. "But we won't be running next time."