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Feels Like Summertime by Tammy Falkner (29)

Jake

Katie wipes a tear from her eye. “Cole was a mistake I made, and I tried to undo it.” She lays a hand on her belly. “But there was a little more involved than just having him as a boyfriend, once this happened.” She jabs a finger into her belly, and then she soothes it with a warm stroke of her palm. “Jake,” she says on a heavy sigh. “No matter what happened with Cole and what a monster he turned out to be, I loved my husband. I never betrayed his memory. I honored it, or so I thought at the time, by moving on with my life.”

“You can love more than one person in a lifetime, Katie,” I say.

The ambulance arrives at the hospital, and the police and Katie’s family have already arrived. They meet us as Katie is getting settled in. I stand in the hallway. “Did they find him?” I ask Pop quietly as everyone bustles around.

Pop shakes his head. “They found a blood trail leading into the woods, but no body.”

I nod. “They should be checking the local hospitals.”

“They won’t find him,” Pop says. “Not until he wants to be found.”

I knew that.

A nurse steps into the hallway. “Is the father here?” she asks, staring down at her clipboard.

Dan and Adam look at one another and then at me and Pop.

“Yes,” Pop says. He claps me on the shoulder. “Right here.”

“I’m not–” I start to say. But Adam talks over me.

“We’ll be right here if you need anything,” Adam says.

The nurse gives me scrubs to put on and booties to cover my shoes. “You can change once you’re in there,” she says.

“Gabby,” I protest. “Where’s Gabby?” Gabby was with her mother when she had Trixie. Certainly, she wants to be there for this one too.

“Gabby’s already in with Mrs. Stone,” the nurse says. “They’re just waiting for someone to hold her hand.”

“That’s all you need? Someone to hold her hand?”

The nurse nods. “Yes.” Her brow furrows. “You are the father, correct?”

Not even close.

“She’ll need someone to curse and scream at. Someone to hate. Someone who can push her through this.” The nurse waits impatiently.

“Someone else should be there.” I look at Dan and Adam.

“We’re grandparents. We’re more useful out there.” Dan is holding Trixie’s hand, and Adam has his hand laid upon Alex’s shoulder.

“Sir, if you’re coming,” the nurse snaps. She turns abruptly on her heel and walks into the room.

“I’m coming,” I call out. I follow her.

Katie is sitting up on the bed and sweat beads her forehead. “Jake,” she says. “What are you doing here?” Another contraction hits her, and the doctor looks up from between her legs.

“It won’t be long now,” he says.

“That quick?” I ask.

“Baby number four tends to come a little quicker.”

The contraction eases and Katie settles back against the pillows. “You remember what you said about them just walking out after you’ve had so many?”

“I was a fool, huh?”

“Yeah,” she mutters.

“Here we go,” the doctor says.

Katie holds out her hand and stares into my eyes. “Hold my hand, Jake,” she says. I don’t hesitate. I grip her hand tightly and sit down on a stool close to the head of her bed. “I got this, right?” she says.

“No,” I say. Tears sting my eyes.

“No?” Her gaze flies up to meet mine. “No?” she barks at me this time.

We got this,” I tell her. I lean forward and kiss her on the forehead. She blinks back tears and I rest my forehead against hers. “We got this,” I say again. “I’m here with you, Katie. I won’t leave you.” I sit back.

“Gabby,” Katie says. Gabby is holding her other hand. “He makes it sound so easy.”

Gabby laughs. “Because pushing a bowling ball out of your vagina always seems easy when you have testicles.”

“On the next contraction, I want you to give a big push,” the doctor says.

Katie nearly squeezes the life out of my hand.

When it’s over, she leans back against the bed. “I bet you thought the first time you saw me naked would be a little better than this.”

“Does it get better than this?” I ask. I laugh. So does she.

An hour later, Katie has screamed at me, cursed me, and declared her undying hatred toward all mankind, and then she brings forth the most beautiful baby boy I’ve ever seen.

The doctor lays him on Katie’s stomach, and she stares down at him. “I was worried I wouldn’t be able to love him as much as I love the rest of them, you know?” she tells me, as tears pour down her cheeks.

“I know.” I try to sympathize. With what she’s been through, her feelings are justified.

“But I do. I love him just the same.” She turns her face into my cheek and sobs. “I love him just as much. Look at him, Jake. He’s perfect.”

I blink hard, but I can’t keep the tear from falling down my own cheek. “Perfect, Katie. He’s absolutely perfect.” And at the same time, really gross with stuff all over him, which makes the way I’m feeling even more absurd.

Gabby reaches over and wipes my cheek with a tissue. “You two are a mess,” she says. “Just wait until I tell Pop you were in here sobbing.” She pulls her gloves off and goes out the door to the waiting area, supposedly to make the announcement–a healthy eight pound two ounce little boy with his mother’s dark hair and blue eyes.

“He has your fingers,” I tell Katie as I let the little guy wrap his hand around my forefinger. And just like that, he wraps himself around my heart, too.

“Do you want to cut the cord, Dad?” the nurse asks.

I hesitate. “Um…”

“Cut the cord, Jake,” Katie says.

“Okay.” So I do. I cut his bond with his mother, and in my heart, it solidly binds him to me. I look up at his mom. “Katie Stone,” I say, remembering to use her married last name, “do you remember when you jumped into the lake with me that first night we met?”

She smiles. “Vividly.”

“Well, this is me jumping in with you.” I put my face right next to hers and wait for her to turn and kiss me. And when she does turn to face me, she pulls back a little with a questioning look on her face. “Kiss me, Katie,” I say.

When her lips touch mine, I know this is where I’m supposed to be.

“Are you jumping in with me because you’re afraid I’ll drown, Jake?” Her voice shakes.

I look into her eyes. “Nope. Just because I want to be with you.”

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