Mackenzie

Sitting in the air-conditioned waiting area of the bus terminal, I stare numbly at the ticket in my hand.

After getting out of the cab a few blocks from Clair’s house, I’d made it the rest of the way to the station by foot. With my head pounding, stomach churning, and emotions spiraling out of control, it took me almost an hour to get here.

The money Clair gave me was just enough to buy a one-way ticket to upstate New York. But the damn bus doesn’t leave until noon tomorrow, and the station is getting ready to close for the night.

I can’t stay here, and I can’t go back to the apartment.

Clair will start to worry about me if I don’t come home in the next few hours, but if I go back there without my head stitched up, she’ll suspect something.

And I don’t have the strength to say goodbye to Logan again.

The first time was hard enough.

I’d held her a little too long, a little too tight. She’d tried to squirm from my arms, desperate to play with the pink and white Mega Bloks Clair had bought her. I’d kissed her on the forehead, then rushed out the door to the waiting taxi.

There’d been no grand gesture. No big goodbyes. I’d just left.

Misery claws at my throat, making it difficult to breathe.

The fact that I’m abandoning my child isn’t lost on me. I know what people will say. That I’m selfish. Heartless. No motherly instinct. But what other choice do I have?

Leaving Logan is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But with Theo and Clair, she has a chance at a normal life. With me, she’ll always be in danger.

I touch the gash on my temple and my fingers come back sticky with blood.

The reality of how much danger I put her in didn’t really hit me until today.

I could go to the police. But then what? If I tell them the truth, about why Stefano is after me, they’ll lock me up. He’s already threatened to twist the story to incriminate me. If he goes down, so do I.

I don’t know what’s worse, continuing to run, or rotting in jail for the next five to ten years. Neither option sounds great.

No. This is the best choice. My only choice.

I don’t even bother wiping the tears away. I let them flow freely, blurring my vision.

The numbness that started in my lips and fingers has spread throughout my entire body.

I have no idea what I’m going to do once I’m in New York. I just know I have to get as far away from Theo and Logan as possible.

Stefano will follow. He always does. But as long as he is after me, he’ll leave them alone.

“Miss, we’re closing up now.” A middle-aged woman, with dyed red hair shaped around her head like a football helmet, touches my shoulder. “Are you all right?”

I flinch at her touch, jumping quickly off the bench, making the room spin. Doing my best not to throw up, I squat and act like I’m looking for something under the bench.

I close my eyes, and take deep, steadying breaths until the nausea subsides.

“Have you lost something?” The woman’s high-pitched voice holds a note of concern.

Yeah. I’ve lost everything. I swallow the sob that threatens to escape.

“I-I’m sorry. I’ll go now.” I look around and realize I’m the only one left in the waiting area, and the sky outside has darkened to a deep shade of purple. “Do you have a lost and found?”

The woman nods, pointing at an open door to what looks like a maintenance room.

“There’s a cardboard box in there with a few items. You can look. Whatever isn’t recovered will be taken down to the homeless shelter Monday morning.”

I give a weak smile, knowing she’s giving me permission to take what I need.

The box smells like mildew. It’s mostly junk. A random shoe, a couple torn books, a child’s toy. Nothing of value.

An oversized black hoodie and an old army backpack are the only items I take.

Pulling the hoodie over my head, I shove my ticket in the pack, then sling it over my shoulder. With my stomach growling, I head through the sliding doors.

I don’t know where I find the strength to keep moving, but I do.

The moon is high in the sky when I finally find a bench to sit down on. I know it’s dangerous to be out here alone, but I’m so exhausted I’m not sure I can take another step.

Making a pillow with the backpack, I curl up on the bench.

Ten minutes. That’s all. Then I’ll keep walking.

I close my eyes and start to drift off, when I hear the squeal of brakes, then the daunting words, “Get in the truck, Mackenzie.”