Chapter Eleven
Late that night, Aiden and Kat pulled into the small parking space she had behind her apartment. He’d taken her to her car still at Lou’s and then followed her home. Cutting his engine, he swung off the bike and waited for her to get out of the car. She’d tried convincing him he didn’t need to see her home, but he wouldn’t hear any of it. It was bad enough he couldn’t give her a good enough reason to stay at his place without raising suspicion. He wasn’t taking any chances he didn’t have to with her safety.
When he’d seen Mullineaux’s marks on her earlier, he’d almost lost it. After she’d gone back to the house, he’d had to count to more than a hundred before he trusted himself to not get on his bike and hunt the prick down like the cur he was. Aiden’s mom had raised him to know that a man’s place was to protect and cherish the women in his life. He couldn’t fathom consciously choosing to harm a woman in any way. It was not only despicable, but inexcusable.
Unfortunately, Aiden’s actions, though not a conscious choice, had results that were just as devastating. When he reacted to situations without thinking, those around him got hurt.
Or worse.
And there was that harsh reminder of why he couldn’t let himself get too close to Kat. He’d never forgive himself if anything happened to her while he was trying to protect her. He couldn’t handle another situation like the one with Janey. Not again. Not fucking ever.
The sobriety and complete lack of fighting had helped keep him in check the last several years, but the biggest reason he hadn’t had a meltdown was because he held people at arm’s length. If he didn’t care about them, he wouldn’t snap. Simple as that.
The night before, he’d convinced himself that he could pretend for one night with Kat. Allow himself to believe that none of that stuff in the past existed. But as soon as he glimpsed the skeletons of her past, putting his aside was no longer an option. Comforting her was all that mattered.
When they saw each other that morning, it was obvious the sexual tension hadn’t dissipated overnight. Still, he hadn’t meant to act on it. Had even warned himself off several times during their self-defense lessons when it would have been so easy to pull her in and kiss her until neither of them could breathe. As long as he’d focused on the lessons—and the reason she needed them—he’d been strong enough to keep things platonic.
But he’d proved too weak when her body signals went from learning to arousal as he stood pressed against her from behind. And he’d tapped out the moment she leaned her head back, inviting him to sample the smooth length of her throat, to feel her pulse jump beneath his lips. In seconds he’d been drunk on the taste of her and lost in the moment.
Until he’d accidentally hurt her.
The last thing Aiden wanted was for Kat to be harmed, mentally or physically, by anybody, least of all him. However, a small part of him had been thankful for the bruises that jerked him back to reality before he took her against the barn wall like a fucking animal. If the night before was anything to go on, that for sure would have set her off. She didn’t deserve that type of careless treatment. He’d never been the romantic type, but something about Kat inspired him to want to care for her, be tender with her. Make love to her.
Make love. He’d never used that term before, much less done anything close to it. There’d been women he cared about before, but he’d been careful not to throw the L-word around. Now, two days in with this girl and he already had the word in his head, regardless of why.
“You don’t have to come up, Irish.”
“It’s no trouble,” he said. “Besides, if I didn’t make sure you got in safely, my mother would box my ears.”
A grin hitched up the corner of her mouth. “Your mother isn’t here.”
“You don’t know my mother. She has a sixth sense for when her children aren’t acting the way she raised us. I’d get a phone call, believe me. Now scoot.”
Chuckling, she walked ahead of him toward the door in the alley that led to the inside stairs. Aiden’s senses were on high alert, making sure nothing and no one was lurking in the shadows with bad intentions. She unlocked the door and swung it open, but just as they were stepping through, he heard something so quiet he couldn’t be sure it wasn’t his imagination.
“Wait a minute.”
“What—”
“Shh,” he said, holding up two fingers and turning his head toward where he thought the sound had come from. Several long moments went by with nothing. He was about to give up when he heard it again, more distinctly this time: a tiny mewl coming from a dark corner.
Aiden crossed the alley and reached down to pick up the scrawny gray tiger kitten. He only got it a few inches off the ground when he was pulled up short. The kitten hissed and clawed at his arm until he set him back down.
Using the light from his phone, he took a better look. Seemed the frayed ends of the rug the kitten had been laying on had tangled around his back leg. Probably hurt like a bitch, or might even be tight enough to cut off circulation.
Aiden stepped over to his bike and retrieved the pocketknife from under the seat. A single slice and he had the kitten free. He squirmed and hissed some more, but settled down as soon as Aiden cradled him against his chest.
Kat poked her head around from behind him. “Awww. Is it okay?”
“He’s purring now, but he’s got some threads wrapped around his leg.”
“Oh, you poor little thing,” she crooned, scratching him under the jaw and between the ears. “Do you think his mom left him because he was caught?”
“Yeah, most likely.”
“Well, let’s get him upstairs,” she said, leading the way again. “We can get a better look at him up there.”
“There’s gotta be a Humane Society around here somewhere. I’ll take him there tomorrow.”
Kat stopped short. “What? No! I’m keeping him.”
Aiden had a hard time fighting a smile. She reminded him of Mary Catherine again, minus the foot stomp and pouting lip. Something told him if he argued with her, he’d see those, too. “Okay, then.” He bent down and placated her with a kiss on the forehead. “A kitten for my kitten.”
She scrunched up her nose. “That’s a little cheesy, even for you, big boy.”
“Big boy,” he said as they walked up to her apartment. “That a fat joke?”
The tinkling sound of her laughter echoed in the narrow stairwell. “That comment Xander made this morning really bothered you, didn’t it?”
“What, are you kidding? That chucklehead couldn’t bother me if he tried.”
Unlocking her door and letting them in, she said, “If you say so.”
Aiden looked around discreetly, trying to determine if anything had been disturbed since the night before. He wasn’t even sure how the creeps had gotten in, but it didn’t appear as though they’d returned. Kat bent down and shoved a towel under the door. “What’s that for?”
“The door has a huge gap under it. If I don’t stuff it with a towel, the A/C ends up cooling the stairwell.” Crossing the small room, she flipped the dial on the window unit, bringing it to life with a rattle and hum.
He hated that she’d been living in this dump for so long. He tried to find solace in the fact that in a couple of weeks, he could give her enough money to get a decent place wherever she decided to head after all this was over. But the idea of her being anywhere other than with him wasn’t very conducive for solace-finding.
Mentally swearing at himself for the momentary departure from reality, he turned his focus on the kitten. “I’ll see what I can do about getting the rest of this string off.”
He sat on the futon while she riffled through her dresser. The kitten hunkered down in his lap, apparently deciding that was the safest place to be in this strange environment.
“Poor thing is probably starving and I don’t— Oh! I think I have some tuna.”
While she went hunting for that, Aiden used his knife and cut through the remaining strands as gently as he could. The kitten made some low growls, warning his rescuer that he wasn’t completely onboard with the plan. But as soon as he was free, the little thing started to purr again.
“There,” he whispered to him. “You’ll be good as new soon, and then you get to spend the rest of your days in that pretty girl’s lap.” He scratched between his ears and the kitten closed his eyes and leaned into it. “Lucky bastard.”
“Okay,” Kat said, hurrying to him. “I put some tuna on a plate and a bowl of water in the corner. Then I bunched my Snuggie up on the floor, thinking he might like that to sleep on. I don’t know, though, what do you think?”
He smiled as he stood with the kitten. “I think that sounds good. Come on, we’ll see if he’s hungry.” They took him to the food and barely set him down before his nose was in the plate. “I guess that answers that question.”
She laughed and sat on the floor facing the kitten, her right shoulder and head leaning against the wall. He did the same on the other side and propped his arm up on a bent knee. With her focus on the little chow-hound, he took advantage of the rare opportunity to simply watch her.
She’d pulled her hair to the left side and braided it that morning. The thick rope of hair lay against her neck with the ends reaching the top swell of her left breast. Since she was looking down, her auburn lashes hid most of her light blue eyes from his gaze, but he knew they’d be alight with a stolen moment of happiness in watching something thrive under her care. There was a peacefulness in the slight smile on her face and the relaxed set of her shoulders.
Then something broke the spell. Her brows knitted together and she frowned. “I still can’t believe it’s over so easily.” She raised her eyes to his. “What did you say to them to make them back off?”
Shit. He fought the urge to look away from her. “What difference does it make what was said or done? I told you I’d take care of it and I did. You’re no longer responsible for getting them Sicoli’s money.”
Kat lifted her head from the wall and stared him down. “Irish, tell me you didn’t pay them off with your own money.”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve had twenty grand just lyin’ around.”
Kat’s eyebrows rose. “Did you used to have that much money lying around?”
He shrugged and said, “I did all right for myself when I was fighting. You can make a lot of money if you get good fights that people want to see, and you get bonus purses for things like fight of the night, submission of the night, etcetera. But that was a long time ago.”
Not nearly long enough to burn through the kind of money he’d had in his bank account from fighting, and yet in less than a week after Janey’s death, he’d left himself with only a fraction of what he’d had. The rest he’d anonymously split up between Janey’s mother and a donation to the hospital for a new drug outreach program in her name.
But barely existing didn’t cost much. All he needed was food, water, and a roof over his head. Kind of like the fur ball there.
Aiden watched the kitten lick his chops from the first meal he’d had in who knew how long. Kat moved the tiny animal to the bowl of water and made light splashes with her finger to get his attention. After he’d lapped his fill, she placed him lovingly on the blanket. He kneaded it until it suited him, then he curled up and promptly fell asleep. Funny, Aiden thought. Tiger stripes on leopard print.
“Have you thought of a name yet?” He kept his voice soft. Probably so he wouldn’t disturb the fur ball’s dreams. Maybe so he wouldn’t disturb the moment with a kitten of a more feminine sort.
She looked thoughtful for a minute then whispered, “What’s your middle name?”
“I’m not gonna tell you my middle name. No guy ever tells a girl his middle name.”
“Why not?”
“’Cause they use it against us when they’re mad, that’s why not.” Kat whisper-laughed, if there was such a thing, behind her hand. Seeing the light in her eyes egged him on. “We could be watching the game with our pals and they’ll holler across the house, ‘Anthony Michael Hall, you’re in a lotta fucking trouble!’”
Still laughing, she asked, “Did you just use the dorky guy’s name from Sixteen Candles?”
Aiden couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled so big, much less laughed. But it turned out she was more than a little infectious. “He was in a lot more movies than that, but yeah. He was the first guy I could think of with three names.”
“Okay, then I’ll tell you my middle name and we’ll have equal advantage.”
He’d love to know her middle name. He’d love to know everything about her. “All right, but you first.”
“Terese,” she said. “It’s a family name. My mother’s aunt, I think. Okay, now spill it.”
He let out a resigned breath. “Murphy. Family name on my father’s side. Happy now?”
Her bright smile said she was, and damn if he didn’t want to make sure she stayed that way every day of her life. She kissed the pads of her fingers and lightly placed them on the kitten’s head. “Sweet dreams, Murphy.”
Ah, hell, the woman was killing him for sure. Rising from the floor, he helped her up and crossed toward the door so he wouldn’t have to whisper anymore. He cleared his throat and stuck his hands in his pockets so he wouldn’t reach out for her.
“I should go. Let you get some sleep.” He opened the apartment door and added, “Make sure you lock up behind me.”
“Irish?”
“Yeah?”
Standing in the middle of the room in that damn uniform again—if he had his way he’d burn that fucking thing and never let her wear anything other than colorful sundresses—she twisted her fingers together and chewed on her lip for a few seconds. Maybe she was nervous about her safety. The only reason he wasn’t was because he knew the assholes were right across the street and they knew she was in her apartment thanks to the metal chunk in her arm. They had no reason to bother her as long as they knew where she was and he held up his end of the bargain.
“You’ll be safe, I promise. Those guys aren’t coming anywhere near you ever again.” Or I’ll personally tear out their insides.
“I know that. I trust you.”
Jesus, twist the knife a little more. “Then what is it?”
“When you said you could only give me one night…”
Just the mention of having her at all had him getting hard in his jeans. “Yeah?”
“Well, we didn’t really get that. So I thought maybe tonight you could, I don’t know…stay?”
The hand on the doorknob tightened. Pressing the metal into his palm until it hurt was the only thing keeping him sane while she nervously asked him for something that both excited and scared her.
“You sure, kitten?”
She swallowed hard and nodded. Holding her gaze, he closed the door, flipped the locks, and secured the chain before slowly walking to her. His hands moved to her small waist as he stepped in close. Her hands slid up his arms and stopped at his elbows as though she wasn’t sure she should hold him any closer. He hated that there was any space between them, but he’d allow her her baby steps if that’s what she needed to feel safe.
Ever so gently, he kissed her lips. She didn’t shy away, but met him with a quiet intensity of her own. He let her set the pace and take the lead. He didn’t want to take things further until he was sure she was ready. They came together again and again, sometimes pressing firmly as they breathed each other in. Sometimes touching with no more than a whisper as they teased themselves with the promise of more.
It was that “more” that had Aiden’s cock straining for release and his brain fighting it back to wait until she made the first move. Then again, maybe she wasn’t as ready as she’d thought.
Pulling back, he cupped her face with his hands to still her. “I don’t want you to think we have to do anything you don’t want. Sex is not a condition of my staying the night. I can just hold you and be perfectly happy with that.”
“I’m not hesitating because I don’t want to be with you. I know you’ll stop if I tell you.” She lowered her gaze and a slight flush colored her cheeks as she whispered, “I’ve never had that before.”
A silent rage washed through him for the horrors she must have endured in her past. “Look at me.” He waited the extra second it took her to obey before speaking again. “No man should ever push you for more than you can give. You have a goodness inside of you, Kat. And that goodness recognizes itself in others. So you listen to that. Trust it. And don’t go near anybody who doesn’t have what you got. You understand?”
She took a while to answer, like the concept had to sink in past all the negative shit that had built up in her head over the years. Finally, she nodded. He pretended that the need to give her a pep talk like that didn’t break his heart and moved on. “So tell me what you want, sweetheart.”
“I want my night with you. But I’m scared I’ll slip inside myself again. I mean, what if I can’t be with a man without doing that? What if somehow I’m broken?”
“Baby, you’re not the one who’s broken. The assholes who mistreated you, they’re the broken ones. You did what you had to do to survive them.”
Worry etched her face as she shook her head. “But I did it with you just last night and I knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. I wanted what we were doing.”
She was right. Something had triggered it and neither of them knew what. He’d give anything for a psychology degree right about now. “So we’ll go slow and if I see you start to fade, we’ll stop. There’s no pressure, and you can lead. I won’t make a move unless you do.”
Again she shook her head. “No, I don’t think— Can…” She took a deep breath and pleaded with her light blue eyes. “Can you lead, but do the going-slow thing?”
Aiden wanted to wrap her up in his arms and hold her close forever so no one could ever put that look in her eyes again. The people who wronged her when she was young should be bound and tortured as they’d done to her, whatever it was. Maybe someday he’d do some hunting, but his only concern now was to give her what she wanted—what they both wanted—and show her how good he could make it for her.
“Ah, kitten, I can do more than that.” Picking up the end of her braid, he slid the elastic from it and began to unweave her hair. “I wanna make you feel things you never thought possible.” He brushed the golden-red waves behind her shoulders and sank his fingers through them at her nape. “I wanna give you nothing but good things to remember from now on. So the past can never touch you again.”
And with that promise, he kissed her.
Aiden entered her mouth and stroked her tongue with his, guiding her in the erotic dance. Not fast or forceful, but slow and deliberate. He took his time with each step before progressing to the next. He wanted her to feel every moment, every connection their bodies made.
They broke apart, their breaths sawing in and out. With every exhale, a measure of tension left her body even as her pulse raced beneath his thumbs. Blue eyes bright with desire caged him. Swollen cherry lips tempted him. He breathed her in, then went back for more.
…
They kissed with an earnest restraint. Their breath, erratic as air, became secondary to the need for each other. Hands roamed and groped, but with a slowness that defied their intensity.
Aligning their bodies, he rolled his hips, pressing his hard length against her sex. He hit a certain spot and a hot spark of pleasure set off deep in her belly. She gasped and her knees buckled for a split second. It was intense, unlike any sensation she’d felt before. And she wanted more of it. Lots more.
“Do that again.”
“What, this?” He did it again, harder. She swore and dropped her head back as she relished the tingles that zinged along her nerve endings.
Irish attacked her neck. Licking. Sucking. Biting.
Oh, damn, that feels good.
That shouldn’t feel good, should it? Biting should hurt. It would leave marks.
So then why do you want him to do it again?
Because she was fucked up, that’s why. Good girls—normal girls—wouldn’t like it. But she wasn’t either of those things, so there was no use dwelling on it.
He reached down with one hand and grabbed her ass. She palmed his erection over the fly of his jeans. He hissed in a breath and bucked into her hand. “Fuck, baby.”
She whimpered as her hips rocked back and forth of their own volition, her body clenching on an emptiness that made her want to cry.
“Shh, I know. A little at a time, sweetheart.” Irish pressed one of his thighs between hers. Her pelvis rolled forward yet again, but this time she rode the unyielding muscle against her core. She gasped as the friction and pressure eased an ache inside her while igniting an entirely new one that tightened by fractions deep in her belly.
He rucked up her tight skirt and pulled the elastic waistband of her thong down so it hooked beneath her ass. His talented tongue continued to distract her from her fears as he cupped her bare flesh, each of his large hands encompassing a cheek with his fingertips tucking into her crevice. Wanting to assure herself she affected him as much as he did her, she ran the heel of her palm down the length of his rigid cock. He groaned in her mouth and his hands squeezed reflexively, pulling her ass apart and stretching the delicate skin between.
She inhaled sharply at the slight sting and cried out as her womb clenched even tighter and trickled more liquid heat onto his leg.
He buried his face in her neck with a mumbled, “Jesus Christ.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” He pulled back enough to look at her. “In fact, something’s very right.” She furrowed her brow, not understanding. With the pad of his thumb, he smoothed the worry from her forehead. “Stop worrying. Your body’s just telling me what it likes, is all.”
“It is?” she asked breathlessly.
“Yeah, it is,” he said with a quirky smile. “And the last thing it said was wicked pissa.”
Okay, she knew in Crazy Boston Speak “wicked pissa” somehow meant “awesome,” but how could Irish know what she wanted when she didn’t have the first clue?
“Well?” she prompted a tad impatiently. “Are you going to tell me what exactly it is it’s saying?”
“No.”
No? “Why not?”
“Because we’re taking things slow, remember? And that,” he said with a nip on her lower lip, “is nowhere near slow.”
She huffed at the shit-eating grin on his face. He merely chuckled. “I can tell you that your body says it wants me,” he boasted before latching those magical lips to her neck again.
Kat knew pride was about to make her eat her size seven shoe, but like a runaway train, she couldn’t stop it. “I suppose that’s possible. Or maybe,” she taunted even as she had to choke back a moan when he hit some special spot below her ear, “I’m just really good at faking it.”
He eased back, his eyes narrowed to slits, and she swore she heard a growl. “Oh, it fucking wants me, all right. There’s no faking the way your sweet nipples harden every time I touch you.”
Proving his point, he dragged his callused thumbs over her shirt-covered, distended buds. Her traitorous body arched into his touch and that sensation of a band twisting in her core tightened.
Irish licked the shell of her ear and nipped the edge. The gravel in his voice tumbled through her body until she settled her weight on his muscular thigh. “And you can’t fake how hot and wet you get for me—only me, kitten.” He reached between them and deftly slipped past the silk, doing little more than stamping a damp triangle on his thigh. “Right…” The twisting got tighter and tighter. “…here,” he finished as he dragged a thick finger through her soaked slit and glanced over the sensitive nub at the top. She cried out his name and lost the thread as he kept up the assault.
With every passing moment, Kat lost herself that much more. Her body felt flushed, covered with a fine sheen of sweat, and her panties were soaked through. Her skin was so sensitive, like her nerves were exposed, and every little sensation was hard-wired to her sex in a strange pleasure/pain. She writhed in frustration. Was she doing something wrong? Maybe part of her really didn’t work right. This needing something was making her fucking crazy!
“Make it stop, Irish,” she begged. “Oh, God, I can’t take it, please make it stop.”
He froze. “Make what stop, Kat? Does something hurt?”
“Yes, no, shit, I don’t know. I want you to stop and keep going all at the same time. Like everything that feels good also kind of hurts, you know?” Of course he didn’t know. She wasn’t making any damn sense. Squeezing her eyes shut, she covered her face with her hands and prayed for a rip in the fabric of time that would take her away from this humiliating situation. “Oh, God, I knew something was wrong with me.”
“Hey, I already told you nothing’s wrong with you,” he said, pulling her hands down, but she remained in the darkness behind her lids. “I wanna ask you something. Come on, look at me.”
The tone of his voice wasn’t mocking or angry. He sounded genuinely concerned. Taking a deep breath, she obeyed the gentle command and stared up into his tender eyes.
“Kat, have you ever had an orgasm?”