Chapter Seventeen
“Oh my God,” she gasped. “You’ve been shot.”
Aiden didn’t bother looking at the gash in his side again. The thing stung like a son of a bitch, so he wasn’t likely to forget it was there.
“It’s just a graze, sweetheart.” He slid her a wry grin. “I’ll live.”
“But it’s from a bullet and— Oh my God, you need a doct—”
“Hey,” he said, cupping her chin and holding her gaze between glances back at the road. “Don’t go getting hysterical on me now. It looks worse than it is. I can fix this myself. I’m gonna be just fine, all right?” Kat’s eyes were wide and misty, but she blinked back the tears and nodded. He dropped his hand to her lap and threaded his fingers through hers, giving them a reassuring squeeze.
“So now what do we do?”
Her voice sounded small and uncertain like she had when this whole thing started. Over the last couple of weeks, when she’d thought the danger was gone, Kat had shed that scared persona and become a vibrant woman who smiled easily and laughed often. And now that woman was gone as though she’d never existed. Just another reason to end every motherfucker who had a hand in threatening her.
“We’re meeting up with Xander to trade cars. He’ll drive yours in the opposite direction and stash it somewhere so they’re thrown off our trail. We’ll hole up in a motel for the night.”
She nodded again and remained silent until they met Xander at a busy truck stop on Highway 10. Xan had followed Aiden’s instructions and stopped at Kat’s to grab her some clothes and Murphy. He didn’t know how long they’d be on the lam until he could figure out how to rectify the situation for good, and the last thing she needed was to worry about the kitten.
Xander got out of his Nova holding Murphy. As soon as she saw his gray fur, she flipped into Mom-mode and scooped him into her arms. While she was busy cooing over the fur ball in the passenger seat, Aiden and Xan moved to the trunk where Aiden’s duffel was stored.
“Holy shite, mate, what the fuck happened to you?”
Aiden unzipped his bag and took out the pair of athletic sandals and the black wifebeater he’d worn to the arena earlier. Reaching into the front of his shorts, he removed the protective cup from the crotch of his compression shorts, essentially turning them into nothing more than boxer briefs, and dropped it into the bag. Then he carefully slipped his feet into the sandals and tried to ignore the stinging from the cuts he’d gotten by running full-speed over gravel.
“Bullet grazed me. Mostly their aim sucked, but I let them get too close when I made a detour to shoot out their tires.”
Xan whistled and opened up the large first-aid kit to grab the things needed for a quick patch job, something fighters were used to doing themselves instead of going to the doctor for every little thing. Once the blood was wiped clean, they smeared the wound with antibacterial ointment and taped a bunch of gauze over it. He’d have to do better than that later, but it’d do the trick until then.
Aiden pulled his tank on, hissing through the pain when he lifted his right arm too far. He gathered more alcohol wipes, ointment, and a big Band-Aid, then tossed the kit in his duffel before taking it with him.
Xan closed the trunk. As they rounded the side of the car, he said, “Your wallet is in the glove box along with an envelope of cash. There’s a couple grand in there, so don’t go doing anything daft like using your credit cards.”
“Thanks, man, I owe you.”
“Just don’t get yourselves killed.”
“What a coincidence,” Aiden muttered. “That was my plan, too. Do me a favor, will ya? Grab some bottles of water and snacks. I don’t know if she’ll feel faint after this, but if she does, maybe getting something in her will help.”
Xan clapped him on the shoulder and headed to the gas-station-slash-diner. Aiden took a deep breath then slid into the driver seat, setting his duffel next to him.
Kat looked up from petting a napping Murphy in her lap. The peaceful grin melted from her face when she spotted the supplies he held. He resented the need to bring her back to reality, but every minute they delayed put them that much closer to being caught.
“We gotta take out the tracker, sweetheart. You ready?”
She swallowed hard but nodded bravely. He riffled through his bag and retrieved a large pocketknife and the towel he would have used to dry off with after the fight.
“First a gun then a knife. You really come prepared, don’t you?”
He smiled, hoping it appeared more genuine than it felt. “Recent events have had me thinking more like a Boy Scout, I guess.” After laying the folded towel on the bag between them, he got to work sterilizing the blade with the alcohol wipes. “Okay, put your arm on the towel. You want something to bite down on?”
She shook her head. “Just hurry and get it over with,” she said through a clenched jaw. “I want the fucking thing out.”
Aiden steeled himself as he peered at the small bump on the underside of her forearm. He wasn’t typically squeamish when it came to blood or gaping cuts, but that was when they were on him or his friends. They were used to sucking up the pain and dealing with shit like that. But the idea of the woman he loved having to deal with it, much less that he would be the one to inflict the pain, was enough to make his stomach twist in knots.
“Okay, baby, listen to me. I want you to keep your eyes on Murphy. I’ll do this as fast as I can, and then we’re outta here. Deal?”
Again she nodded and then cast her watery gaze downward to where the kitten was still snuggled in her lap. He used the fingers of his left hand to hold her skin tight over the oblong tracker no bigger than a grain of rice. Then he guided the tip of the knife to make a small incision over the top. A tiny whimper escaped her throat, but he wouldn’t let himself look up to check on her. If he did that, he’d want to stop, and that wasn’t an option.
Setting the knife aside, he used his thumbs to press in on the sides of the incision. Rivulets of blood ran out from the cut to soak into the towel below, but a moment later the tracker slid out rather easily. He set it in a gauze square, then quickly cleaned and bandaged the cut. When it was over, he slid across the bench seat and gathered her into his arms. She buried her head in his neck where the wetness on his skin from her tears felt like she’d turned the blade on him.
“I’m so fucking sorry, kitten,” he whispered at her ear. “The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you like that. I’m gonna make those bastards pay for everything they’ve done to you. I swear it.”
She sniffed and pulled back to wipe her face and offer him a weak smile. “I’m fine. A few ibuprofen, and I’ll be as good as new.”
Unable to help himself, he kissed her and reveled in the softness of her lips and the way she melted into him. A knock on the window by Xander broke them apart and set their plan in motion once again.
Aiden accepted the plastic bag of waters and snacks and gave the tracker to his friend, who tossed it into Kat’s car.
“Right,” Xan started. “I’ll go stash the car. I’ve already set it up with Anders to come and collect me and Murphy. He said we can stay with him for a few days, no questions asked.”
“Sounds good. With any luck, if they show up at the house, Ally’ll put that bad temper to good use.”
“Aye, that would be something, wouldn’t it?” Xander walked around and leaned in through Kat’s open window. “Come on, lass, give ol’ Xan a hug.”
She did, wrapping her arms around his neck and squeezing. “Thank you so much, Xander. For everything.” When she finally released the rough-and-tough Yorkie, his eyes looked suspiciously misty.
“It’s been my pleasure, pet.”
Kat gathered Murphy in her hands, kissed his little nose, and handed him over to Xander. Feeling the urgency tugging on him, Aiden moved his duffel to the backseat and started the Nova. The engine roared to life, strong and steady, promising to carry them as far as they needed to be safe for the night.
Xander had crossed back around to his side. Leaning down, he pinned Aiden with a somber stare. “You know, Aid, maybe you should think about ringing Joey. I know the local law enforcement isn’t an option. Maybe he’d be able to help, or at least tell you of someone else who can.”
“Forget it, Xan,” he said tightly. “I’m not opening that fucking can of worms. I’ll figure this out on my own.”
Xander’s disappointment showed, but he didn’t press the issue. Aiden didn’t like leaving on a sour note with the man who’d been his best friend for the last several years, but he didn’t have time to fix it. He needed to get Kat the hell away from that tracker. And with that single thought riding him, he said good-bye to his friend and drove away.
…
“Who’s Joey?”
They’d been driving on the highway in silence for the last twenty minutes since leaving the truck stop. Kat was exhausted and her arm hurt and she’d reached her limit of playing the Alphabet Game as a means of mental distraction.
“We were best friends from the time we were in diapers. Our moms were friends, and we grew up on the same block.”
Irish may have decided to appease her need for conversation, but the way his left arm tensed as he gripped the wheel a little harder made her think he wasn’t all that thrilled about it. Unfortunately for him, her curiosity was piqued enough to push for any information he would give her about him and his past. There was so much she wanted to know, to understand.
“But you aren’t friends anymore?”
The muscle in his jaw jumped. “No.”
Tiny hairs on the back of her neck prickled in warning. Something was telling her to shut the hell up. Maybe it was her intuition, or maybe he was silently praying she’d stop prying. Either way, she ignored it.
“Why not?”
“It’s hard to maintain a friendship when you kill a guy’s little sister.”
Kat sighed. “Damn, Irish, even I know you’re not supposed to date your best friend’s sister. How badly did you break her heart?”
“I didn’t break it, Kat,” he said, his voice razor sharp. “I stopped it.”
“Yeah, but…you mean that metaphorically. Right?”
“I mean for the last five years, she’s been six feet underground, and I’m the one who put her there.”
“Irish, no.” She shook her head. There must be some mistake. “You could never.”
Kat stared at his profile as it blinked in and out of the streetlamps shining through the windshield. He didn’t respond for what seemed like forever and when he did it was flat, lifeless. “Just because you don’t want something to be true doesn’t mean it isn’t.” He glanced in her direction and softened his tone. “You know that.”
She did know it. How many times over the years had she wished her reality was something better? Hundreds. And yet it remained just as ugly as it had been the day before.
“I don’t understand. How?”
“It doesn’t matter how.”
Kat turned her body, resting her left arm along the seat back. “Of course it matters. Are we talking something like a stabbing? Or something like you gave her a bite of your cashew chicken not knowing she was deathly allergic to nuts?”
Irish dragged a taped hand down his extra-scruffy face. Suddenly he looked exhausted. But not the kind he’d have from a long day or a tough fight. The bone-weary kind a person gets when he’s been carrying a heavy weight on his shoulders for too damn long.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Nothing can bring her back.”
Scooting into the middle of the bench, she used her left hand to lightly massage the base of his neck. “I know, but it’s not her I’m worried about. You’ll be joining her before too long if you continue to live with this guilt you don’t deserve.”
He scoffed. “I deserve every fucking drop of guilt I have.”
“It must have been an accident. You would never hurt a friend intentionally.”
“Not for nothing, sweetheart, but you don’t know that.”
“I see,” she said stiffly as she resumed her position on the passenger side. The man had a knack for firing her blood, only this time it wasn’t with desire. He was pissing her off. “I guess I have to wonder how much of what you’ve said to me is total bullshit, then.”
Irish cut her a sidelong glance. “What are you talking about?”
“You said I should trust my instincts when I recognize the goodness in others, but clearly you didn’t mean it.”
“The hell I didn’t.”
“Then you need to acknowledge that I recognize the goodness in you. And, unless you can tell me why I should feel differently, there is no way I’ll ever believe you killed that girl.”
He jerked the wheel to the right, barely making the exit they’d almost passed. If not for her quick reflexes, she’d be facedown in his lap right now. Pulling onto the shoulder of the off-ramp, he cut the engine and turned to face her, anger edging his features.
“You sure you wanna hear this?”
She banished the trace of uncertainty from the back of her mind and met his challenge with a lift of her chin. “Absolutely.”
A hint of sadness flashed through his eyes before the hardness returned. “Fine. Like I said, our mothers were close friends, so Janey was like my third sister and Joey felt the same about mine. We didn’t live in a great neighborhood, so there were plenty of times when we had to protect ourselves and our sisters. But no matter what, Joey and I never ran scared. We dealt with every bully and badass. Only his way of dealing with things was different from mine.”
Kat’s pulse picked up speed, making her cut throb with every beat and her breathing shallow. She dared not move or ask any questions. Irish had finally decided to open up to her. Regardless of whether the decision was borne of frustration or not, she wasn’t about to look the pissed-off gift horse in the mouth.
“Joey preferred to talk his way out of things. Not that he was afraid to fight, ’cause the guy could throw down if he had to. But fighting was always his last resort. Cool as a cucumber, that was Joey.
“Then there was me. I had a short fuse with heavy hands, and I never hesitated to use them. Everyone knew, they fucked with me I’d fuck with them right back. Joey was the peacemaker and I was the brawler, so it was no surprise that he became a cop and I became a fighter.”
A semi passed them, rocking the car slightly in its wake. Irish looked over to watch it stop at the intersection and make the turn. Kat held her breath and hoped he wouldn’t change his mind about talking. She couldn’t let it go anymore. She had to know why he thought himself capable of killing anyone, much less his best friend’s little sister.
Continuing to stare out the front window, he spoke softly. “Joey always said that one day I’d hurt the wrong person if I didn’t learn to control my temper. That it was inevitable. ” His gaze dropped to his hands, still wrapped in the tape, and became distant. As though he could see the past on the overlapping strips of white across his palms. “He was right.”
Kat scooted closer and placed her hands in his. He curled his fingers over them, giving a quick squeeze. “Tell me what happened.” He shook his head and started to turn away, but she pulled his hands in until he stopped and looked at her. “Aiden, please.”
He swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. “Joey became a cop, but Janey went the other way. She skipped school and hung around with the wrong kids. Got hooked on crystal meth.”
Oh, God. Now she understood a little better why he’d gotten so upset at the thought of her having a part in distributing the drug for Sicoli.
“But we never stopped loving her just ’cause she lost her way, you know?”
“Of course not.”
He nodded, almost in relief that she understood. “So anyway, this one night I was celebrating a pretty big win at our local pub. Joey had a shift that night, but I was with Jax and Xander. They were still in training so they weren’t drinking, but I got hammered. I saw Janey walk in with a guy I’d heard was her new boyfriend, but I didn’t give a damn about him. I was so happy to see her I gave her a big hug and kiss, and we talked for a long time before I was dragged away for more celebrating.
“A little bit later I noticed neither of them was in the bar, but her stuff was still on her stool so I went looking for her. I found her outside getting yelled at in the rain by that asshole. The argument must have been about me because she defended her relationship with me and then said if he was so mad he should just leave and she’d get a ride home from me and my friends. That’s when he…”
Oh, damn. She knew what sort of volatile reaction a prick like that would have when challenged. She’d known plenty of them in her day. “Let me guess. He hit her.”
Irish nodded. “Hard. And I lost it. Usually when my temper flared, it was this feeling of rage that consumed me, drove me. But when he hit her, it was like…like an animal inside me being unleashed. I wanted him to know what it was like to get beat on, and I wanted him to beg for mercy before I even considered letting up.
“Xan and Jax didn’t try to break it up—they’d seen him hit her, too, and they knew I wasn’t gonna kill the guy—but Janey…”
His deep blue eyes misted over and his throat worked to rid him of the lump she imagined forming there. “God, Janey.” He plowed his right hand through his hair and fisted a chunk until he winced. Causing himself pain probably helped release the emotions he’d bottled up inside for so long. Her heart broke for him already.
Resting his elbow on the seat back, he kept that fist in his hair and his gaze where she still held his other hand. “Afterward, I remembered hearing her shout for us to stop, begging me not to kill him. But at the time all I heard was the roar of blood in my ears and the sound of our fists meeting flesh and bone. Someone tried getting between us. I didn’t register who it was before Janey’s boyfriend shoved whoever it was out of our way, which was fine with me because I got in another good shot.”
Kat’s stomach lurched. She prayed her assumption of how the story ended was wrong, but she already knew it wasn’t. She’d gone into this knowing the tragic outcome. All that was left was to listen to how it happened so she could help Irish get past his guilt.
He finally lifted his eyes to hers, causing the wall of tears to overflow in a thin stream down his cheeks. “Joey’d finished his shift and decided to come out. I didn’t see him at the end of the block, but I heard him yell Janey’s name. That’s what finally got through to me. I’d never heard him so terrified, so desperate.
“I looked over to see her in the road, struggling to get up in the rain. Headlights swung around and landed on her. I tried to get to her but I wasn’t fast enough. She screamed and—”
He cleared his throat and swiped at the moisture on his face. He kept his eyes averted, looking around at everything in the car and out of it, except for her. Kat wanted to weep for the man she loved. A man so tough he brought men to heel with only a few words and others to their knees when words weren’t enough.
And yet for all his toughness, the one thing completely soft on him was his heart. She’d seen him treat women, coworkers, and even kittens with a kindness and tenderness prone to the gentlest of souls. It was that part of him she fell in love with. The part that saw a scarred woman afraid of a man’s touch and patiently retrained her body and mind to not just accept his touch, but to crave it. For that alone she could have loved him. Lucky for her, there were dozens of other reasons as well.
“Aiden,” she said softly as she cupped his jaw and forced him to make eye contact with her. “It was an accident. Terrible and tragic, but still an accident. You did not kill Janey.”
He pulled her hands down and pinned her with a defiant stare. “Yes, I did. He hit her because of me. We fought because of me. And she sure as hell ended up in the street because of me.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but he cut her off. “I didn’t have to fight the bastard, Kat. I could have threatened his life and taken Janey home. Or had Joey and his police buddies stay on him until they busted him for something. But just like Joey warned me, I let my temper control my actions and it led to Janey’s death. It’s no one’s fault but mine she’s gone. It’s why I stopped drinking and quit fighting. I’m hard enough to control without getting help from alcohol and a career that feeds the darkness inside me.”
“But—”
“Don’t you get it?” he asked, his raised voice sending a chill down the back of her neck. “I hurt the people I love the most because they’re around when my shit blows up. It might not be today and it might not be tomorrow, but eventually something will cause me to snap. And when I do, everyone will be in danger. Including you.”